Need To Fuck With My Girlfriend - Nubblies.net Forums

Ugly Bastard · 12-09-2005, 01:39 PM

Short-short-short version: I bought my girlfriend a bunch of Vera Bradley (lame expensive pursewear) crap for Christmas. Tomorrow morning we're exchanging gifts. With her nice purse that I bought, I also got her a coin purse and a wallet that matches her big purse. I put the coin purse and wallet in her stocking (since they're really thin and small - and she's not expecting to get any Vera shit beyond the main purse).

Yesterday she noticed that I had put something in her stocking and started poking around. I stopped her, and was very serious, stern, and genuine when I told her "it would mean a lot to me if you did not snoop around your stocking".

Now I'm a little pissed off, 'cause this morning I noticed the coin purse was in a much different part of the stocking than I left it. My only explanation for this is that she took it out and looked at it while I was shitting or something - even though I gave her explicit instructions not to do so.

I'm trying to decide how to play this. I'm honestly a little pissed about it. Like part of me wants to confront her and say "why did you do that after I asked you not to". But this is Christmas, and I don't want to come across so lame and stern and ruin the whole thing for us. I basically want to fuck with her. But I need to get a little revenge on her for snooping around after I very seriously asked her not to.

Ideas, you sick fucks?

edit: I want the revenge to circle around the gifts themselves. Don't say "egg her car", say something like "hide those gifts in your closet and see how she reacts after she's opened all her other shit and the Vera stuff is nowhere to be found". Right now, the latter is my best idea, I'm just running this thing by you guys to see if I'm overlooking a better course of action.

-UB

[ December 09, 2005, 10:41 AM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]

fancymeghan · 12-09-2005, 02:24 PM

you should hide the coin purse and wallet.

then go to goodwill or the dollar store and find the ugliest wallet and coin purse you can find to put in the stocking.

give her the nice ones after she's good and disappointed.
[edit] maybe not until the next day or something.

[ December 09, 2005, 11:25 AM: Message edited by: fancymeghan ]

fat_retard · 12-09-2005, 02:25 PM

Put dog shit in the coin purse and wallet.

theMerciless1 · 12-09-2005, 02:43 PM

amazingly, my 2 ideas are already out there.
give the vera stuff to your sis in front of her, or tell her its for your sis.

Ugly Bastard · 12-09-2005, 02:47 PM

Jesus Meghan. You're sick!

Side note: Whats the deal with Foster? Is that guy out of his mind or something? I still can't figure him out.

-UB

bloodyfart · 12-09-2005, 03:21 PM

put a note inside the coin purse telling her you fucked someone else.

theMerciless1 · 12-09-2005, 03:25 PM

beeeep!

THEINCREDIBLEdork · 12-09-2005, 04:45 PM

Heres what you do, set a mousetrap in the stocking and when she puts here hand in the stocking it'll fuck her hand up.

MAGICLIT · 12-09-2005, 04:58 PM

Throw ripped up paper everywhere, and say Scout ate your present.

Ironic Mustache · 12-09-2005, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by THEINCREDIBLEdork:
Heres what you do, set a mousetrap in the stocking and when she puts here hand in the stocking it'll fuck her hand up.

Champion.

Cocktooth · 12-09-2005, 08:14 PM

I say go a little the way of meghan's idea....but i say just get a really shit purse that doesnt match the other 2 items and give her that all wrapped up.....when she opens it, see if she gives you the good old christmas I LOVE IT....then you could take the other bag back and get your money!

Ironic Mustache · 12-09-2005, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ironic Mustache:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by THEINCREDIBLEdork:
Heres what you do, set a mousetrap in the stocking and when she puts here hand in the stocking it'll fuck her hand up.

Champion.[/quote]
Ditto

Repugnant Abomination · 12-09-2005, 08:57 PM

It's your own fault. You can't tell someone not to do something and expect them not to do it, especially when presents are involved.

Heaven Can Wait · 12-09-2005, 10:36 PM

I expected this thread to contain some soppy story on how you hadn't had sex in a while.

Egg the car.

St. Anky · 12-10-2005, 03:31 AM

go with meg's idea and switch the wallet. then on christmas day explain to her that you had gotten her a matching wallet but that you knew she peeked and so decided that she didn't deserve it. give her a kiss on the cheek and thank her for her presents then walk away.

Mr. Blonde · 12-10-2005, 03:36 AM

Act like your apartment got broken into, hide a bunch of your valuable shit in a room, say that gaz, tongue or f3lix forgot to lock the door and somebody took a bunch of shit. Hide the presents too and then be like wow this really sucks...

Mr. Blonde · 12-10-2005, 03:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ironic Mustache:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Ironic Mustache:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by THEINCREDIBLEdork:
Heres what you do, set a mousetrap in the stocking and when she puts here hand in the stocking it'll fuck her hand up.

Champion.[/quote]
Ditto[/quote]
You can't "ditto" your own post, dude.

StabMaster Arson · 12-10-2005, 04:26 AM

if she hasn't seen the purse yet, just switch it w/ one that doesn't match... if she's like my girl, a purse and wallet that don't match are worthless.

MAGICLIT · 12-10-2005, 07:32 AM

CUT HER OFF FROM SEX UNLESS/UNTIL SHE GIVES YOU ANAL, THAT WILL FUCK WITH HER HEAD FOR SURE. I SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE.

MAGICLIT · 12-10-2005, 07:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr. Blonde:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Ironic Mustache:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Ironic Mustache:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by THEINCREDIBLEdork:
Heres what you do, set a mousetrap in the stocking and when she puts here hand in the stocking it'll fuck her hand up.

Champion.[/quote]
Ditto[/quote]
You can't "ditto" your own post, dude.[/quote]
He also shouldnt get plastered on his lunch breaks but i don't see you caring enough to interfere.

Mr. Blonde · 12-10-2005, 01:39 PM

that's beneficial to nubblies, though.

Lucy Fur · 01-06-2006, 07:26 AM

so........

what did you end up doing?

my money is on you wimping out and giving her the original stuff without messing with her head first.

migite · 01-06-2006, 09:43 AM

she gave you head first before you messed it up?

12-09-2005, 02:43 PM	#4 (permalink)
theMerciless1 Senior Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: ming\'s palace Posts: 1,495 Internets: 412	amazingly, my 2 ideas are already out there. give the vera stuff to your sis in front of her, or tell her its for your sis.
	i who have nothing but the comfort of my sins

12-09-2005, 03:21 PM	#6 (permalink)
bloodyfart Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: side control Posts: 2,044 Internets: 203	put a note inside the coin purse telling her you fucked someone else.
	<b>We're here, and we're queer, so get used to it</b>

12-09-2005, 03:25 PM	#7 (permalink)
theMerciless1 Senior Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: ming\'s palace Posts: 1,495 Internets: 412	beeeep!
	i who have nothing but the comfort of my sins

12-09-2005, 04:45 PM	#8 (permalink)
THEINCREDIBLEdork Emperor Meow Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 9,353 Internets: 290966	Heres what you do, set a mousetrap in the stocking and when she puts here hand in the stocking it'll fuck her hand up.
	#YOLO

12-09-2005, 04:58 PM	#9 (permalink)
MAGICLIT Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: city of sin Posts: 2,753 Internets: 10	Throw ripped up paper everywhere, and say Scout ate your present.
	I am all in favor of a ruling class, especially since I rule.

12-09-2005, 01:39 PM	#1 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	Short-short-short version: I bought my girlfriend a bunch of Vera Bradley (lame expensive pursewear) crap for Christmas. Tomorrow morning we're exchanging gifts. With her nice purse that I bought, I also got her a coin purse and a wallet that matches her big purse. I put the coin purse and wallet in her stocking (since they're really thin and small - and she's not expecting to get any Vera shit beyond the main purse). Yesterday she noticed that I had put something in her stocking and started poking around. I stopped her, and was very serious, stern, and genuine when I told her "it would mean a lot to me if you did not snoop around your stocking". Now I'm a little pissed off, 'cause this morning I noticed the coin purse was in a much different part of the stocking than I left it. My only explanation for this is that she took it out and looked at it while I was shitting or something - even though I gave her explicit instructions not to do so. I'm trying to decide how to play this. I'm honestly a little pissed about it. Like part of me wants to confront her and say "why did you do that after I asked you not to". But this is Christmas, and I don't want to come across so lame and stern and ruin the whole thing for us. I basically want to fuck with her. But I need to get a little revenge on her for snooping around after I very seriously asked her not to. Ideas, you sick fucks? edit: I want the revenge to circle around the gifts themselves. Don't say "egg her car", say something like "hide those gifts in your closet and see how she reacts after she's opened all her other shit and the Vera stuff is nowhere to be found". Right now, the latter is my best idea, I'm just running this thing by you guys to see if I'm overlooking a better course of action. -UB [ December 09, 2005, 10:41 AM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]

12-09-2005, 02:24 PM	#2 (permalink)
fancymeghan Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: indiana. Posts: 504 Internets: 306	you should hide the coin purse and wallet. then go to goodwill or the dollar store and find the ugliest wallet and coin purse you can find to put in the stocking. give her the nice ones after she's good and disappointed. [edit] maybe not until the next day or something. [ December 09, 2005, 11:25 AM: Message edited by: fancymeghan ]

12-09-2005, 02:25 PM	#3 (permalink)
fat_retard Senior Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: a house Posts: 664 Internets: 10	Put dog shit in the coin purse and wallet.

12-09-2005, 02:47 PM	#5 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	Jesus Meghan. You're sick! Side note: Whats the deal with Foster? Is that guy out of his mind or something? I still can't figure him out. -UB

12-09-2005, 08:14 PM	#11 (permalink)
Cocktooth Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Warsaw Posts: 4,220 Internets: 124047	I say go a little the way of meghan's idea....but i say just get a really shit purse that doesnt match the other 2 items and give her that all wrapped up.....when she opens it, see if she gives you the good old christmas I LOVE IT....then you could take the other bag back and get your money!
	Nubblies: If we put up with Felix, we will put up with you too.

12-09-2005, 08:57 PM	#13 (permalink)
Repugnant Abomination Almost there... Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,979 Internets: 164547	It's your own fault. You can't tell someone not to do something and expect them not to do it, especially when presents are involved.

12-09-2005, 10:36 PM	#14 (permalink)
Heaven Can Wait English. Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: England Posts: 868 Internets: 179	I expected this thread to contain some soppy story on how you hadn't had sex in a while. Egg the car.
	there is little I wouldn't do for a dolphin.

12-10-2005, 03:31 AM	#15 (permalink)
St. Anky Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 1,581 Internets: 6603	go with meg's idea and switch the wallet. then on christmas day explain to her that you had gotten her a matching wallet but that you knew she peeked and so decided that she didn't deserve it. give her a kiss on the cheek and thank her for her presents then walk away.

12-10-2005, 03:36 AM	#16 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 284106	Act like your apartment got broken into, hide a bunch of your valuable shit in a room, say that gaz, tongue or f3lix forgot to lock the door and somebody took a bunch of shit. Hide the presents too and then be like wow this really sucks...
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

12-10-2005, 04:26 AM	#18 (permalink)
StabMaster Arson Roscoe P. Coldchain Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Stabbin Cabin Posts: 2,759 Internets: 1425	if she hasn't seen the purse yet, just switch it w/ one that doesn't match... if she's like my girl, a purse and wallet that don't match are worthless.
	LEGALIZE CRIME!

12-10-2005, 07:32 AM	#19 (permalink)
MAGICLIT Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: city of sin Posts: 2,753 Internets: 10	CUT HER OFF FROM SEX UNLESS/UNTIL SHE GIVES YOU ANAL, THAT WILL FUCK WITH HER HEAD FOR SURE. I SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE.
	I am all in favor of a ruling class, especially since I rule.

12-10-2005, 01:39 PM	#21 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 284106	that's beneficial to nubblies, though.
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

01-06-2006, 07:26 AM	#22 (permalink)
Lucy Fur Empress Magnificent Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Florida Posts: 825 Internets: 349	so........ what did you end up doing? my money is on you wimping out and giving her the original stuff without messing with her head first.
	I am chaos. It is my destiny to destroy.

01-06-2006, 09:43 AM	#23 (permalink)
migite Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 287 Internets: 0	she gave you head first before you messed it up?
	Damnant quod non intelligunt

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