Badass 90 Year Old - Nubblies.net Forums

Ugly Bastard · 11-21-2003, 05:34 AM

I was reading this on a skydiving forum I frequent...I thought you might enjoy it, it's a pretty cool story. Anything you see in parenthesis is something I added to help the layman understand what's goin on. This story was posted by a skydiving instructor about a 90 year old student he had the other day, I found it to be quite touching:

I got a call from a DZO (Drop Zone Owner...a guy who owns a skydiving facility). He asked me if I was available to put out a student today. I responded, "Sure."

Then he tells me, "He's ninety years old," and then he paused. As I was going through the algorithm of "what ifs" in my brain, the DZO says, "He was a wing-walker in the '30's. "Alright, lets, do it. But, if he has any difficulty in training, I'm calling it."

I introduce myself and review the waiver and in the medical statement, he's put "None." Hmmm, so I start the probing questions, knees problems, orthopedics, any heart medicine.... nope, nope, nope. He says, "Son, all I take is vitamins." As we continue, he's jumped three or four times in the past, "Although I don't remember what years they were, do I need to know that?" No sir.

We go through training and he's smoking it. Nomenclature of the equipment, approaching the aircraft, the exit, canopy control, landing, obstacles, everything. We went over the Canopy Flight Planner (what to do after you're chute has opened) and he's telling me after the first review, word for word, where he's getting out; where he's going to be at 1000', 600'. 300'.

During training he had a little bit of a problem with the "Climb all the way out and hang," (you climb out on a part of the wing of the plane...hang there...then let go). So I modified his exit to a poised exit (poised exit means instead of climbing out and hanging...he puts his foot on the step, hangs onto the wing, then lets go...that way he doesn't have to actually hang from the wing at the age of 90).

We go up in the plane and he's just as calm as can be. "Dillard, are you ready to skydive?" "Yup." Open the door and he covers his handles and I'm spotting. I tell him to put his feet out and stop. He does it. "Climb all the way out." He needed a litle help pulling the student rig up (he needed help standing up) so I gave him a hand.

GO! He looks at the ground, literally smiles and jumps. Couple of line twists (the lines going up to his chute were a little twisted around...common problem). He twists out of it. He's flying the canopy like a maniac. Left turns, right turns, he's really pulling those toggles down and playing (toggles...basically the steering wheel of a parachute).

He flares perfectly and lands. I land about 20 yards from him and holler out "You OK?!?!?" He gives me a thumbs up. It was a good day.

Here's the good part... During the training the news was out to interview him. The reporter asks him, "Why would anyone your age want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane?"

Dillard replies, "Ya know, I think folks worry too much. When you jump out of the plane the parachute is going to work or it isn't. If it doesn't, you're not going to have to worry for long and if it does; its the greatest ride of your life."

We go into the hangar and I fill out his log book and ask him to sign mine. He signs it. He takes his logbook and pats his 55 year old wife on the ass and says, "You ready to go home, baby?"

What a pimp...

-Ugly Bastard

[ November 21, 2003, 02:38 AM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]

Combat Chuck · 11-21-2003, 06:22 AM

I'm telling you, this man is my newfound hero.

*adds Skydive.....when I'm 90 to ever-growing list of things to do before I get fucked up in the head

Pliedes · 11-21-2003, 01:14 PM

A thirty-five year younger wife... now that is pimp. If I were in his shoes, my wife would be so young that she wouldn't be born for another 15 years.

Wayne · 11-21-2003, 10:41 PM

And that's how Pliedes began his obsession with child pornography.

Pliedes · 11-22-2003, 04:10 AM

Correction, prenatal pornography.

Me Gustan Nalgas · 11-22-2003, 01:25 PM

Now Pliedes, what have I told you about listening to too much R. Kelley music?

Pliedes · 11-22-2003, 07:39 PM

It wasn't so much the R.Kelly, but then I started spinning some Micheal Jackson...

Combat Chuck · 11-23-2003, 07:30 AM

Hey, so what if Pliedes has an unhealthy obsession with embryotic fluids? It happens people. Deal with it.

11-21-2003, 10:41 PM	#4 (permalink)
Wayne Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Warsaw Posts: 29 Internets: 1933	And that's how Pliedes began his obsession with child pornography.
	I'm the meanest god damned son of a bitch alive.

11-22-2003, 01:25 PM	#6 (permalink)
Me Gustan Nalgas Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: warsaw is where i\'m from, annapois is where i am Posts: 136 Internets: 29	Now Pliedes, what have I told you about listening to too much R. Kelley music?
	:.:.: Me Gustan Nalgas :.:.:

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11-21-2003, 05:34 AM	#1 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	I was reading this on a skydiving forum I frequent...I thought you might enjoy it, it's a pretty cool story. Anything you see in parenthesis is something I added to help the layman understand what's goin on. This story was posted by a skydiving instructor about a 90 year old student he had the other day, I found it to be quite touching: I got a call from a DZO (Drop Zone Owner...a guy who owns a skydiving facility). He asked me if I was available to put out a student today. I responded, "Sure." Then he tells me, "He's ninety years old," and then he paused. As I was going through the algorithm of "what ifs" in my brain, the DZO says, "He was a wing-walker in the '30's. "Alright, lets, do it. But, if he has any difficulty in training, I'm calling it." I introduce myself and review the waiver and in the medical statement, he's put "None." Hmmm, so I start the probing questions, knees problems, orthopedics, any heart medicine.... nope, nope, nope. He says, "Son, all I take is vitamins." As we continue, he's jumped three or four times in the past, "Although I don't remember what years they were, do I need to know that?" No sir. We go through training and he's smoking it. Nomenclature of the equipment, approaching the aircraft, the exit, canopy control, landing, obstacles, everything. We went over the Canopy Flight Planner (what to do after you're chute has opened) and he's telling me after the first review, word for word, where he's getting out; where he's going to be at 1000', 600'. 300'. During training he had a little bit of a problem with the "Climb all the way out and hang," (you climb out on a part of the wing of the plane...hang there...then let go). So I modified his exit to a poised exit (poised exit means instead of climbing out and hanging...he puts his foot on the step, hangs onto the wing, then lets go...that way he doesn't have to actually hang from the wing at the age of 90). We go up in the plane and he's just as calm as can be. "Dillard, are you ready to skydive?" "Yup." Open the door and he covers his handles and I'm spotting. I tell him to put his feet out and stop. He does it. "Climb all the way out." He needed a litle help pulling the student rig up (he needed help standing up) so I gave him a hand. GO! He looks at the ground, literally smiles and jumps. Couple of line twists (the lines going up to his chute were a little twisted around...common problem). He twists out of it. He's flying the canopy like a maniac. Left turns, right turns, he's really pulling those toggles down and playing (toggles...basically the steering wheel of a parachute). He flares perfectly and lands. I land about 20 yards from him and holler out "You OK?!?!?" He gives me a thumbs up. It was a good day. Here's the good part... During the training the news was out to interview him. The reporter asks him, "Why would anyone your age want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane?" Dillard replies, "Ya know, I think folks worry too much. When you jump out of the plane the parachute is going to work or it isn't. If it doesn't, you're not going to have to worry for long and if it does; its the greatest ride of your life." We go into the hangar and I fill out his log book and ask him to sign mine. He signs it. He takes his logbook and pats his 55 year old wife on the ass and says, "You ready to go home, baby?" What a pimp... -Ugly Bastard [ November 21, 2003, 02:38 AM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]

11-21-2003, 06:22 AM	#2 (permalink)
Combat Chuck Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 2,063 Internets: 10	I'm telling you, this man is my newfound hero. adds Skydive.....when I'm 90* to ever-growing list of things to do before I get fucked up in the head

11-21-2003, 01:14 PM	#3 (permalink)
Pliedes Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Puget Sound Posts: 4,594 Internets: 1608	A thirty-five year younger wife... now that is pimp. If I were in his shoes, my wife would be so young that she wouldn't be born for another 15 years.

11-22-2003, 04:10 AM	#5 (permalink)
Pliedes Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Puget Sound Posts: 4,594 Internets: 1608	Correction, prenatal pornography.

11-22-2003, 07:39 PM	#7 (permalink)
Pliedes Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Puget Sound Posts: 4,594 Internets: 1608	It wasn't so much the R.Kelly, but then I started spinning some Micheal Jackson...

11-23-2003, 07:30 AM	#8 (permalink)
Combat Chuck Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 2,063 Internets: 10	Hey, so what if Pliedes has an unhealthy obsession with embryotic fluids? It happens people. Deal with it.