IRONIC MUSTACHE UPDATE... - Page 3 - Nubblies.net Forums

Ironic Mustache · 09-01-2005, 10:54 PM

and now for the cow story...

'Twas a fine sunday evening at the california state fair. Both the thugs and white trash crowd were in attendance, co-existing in a magical, fried utopia on a stick. Our hero was about 6 beers and a yardstick cup'o'margarita worth of drunk, (estimated cost, about $967.43). It was then that I stumbled into the beer garden and found to my delight, a friend from high school working there. After a couple of jokes at the expense of his failure in life, I suggested he give me a yardstick full of beer. He agreed but only if I would accept his chug challenge on his break. I lost the battle, but my drunkeness proved that I had won the war. I suddenly had the irristable desire to inspect the livestock. Upon entering the bovine section, I was inspired by a fabulous idea. If horses could be ridden, why not cows? I'll admit part of the idea came from my fear of trying to mount one of the budweiser clydesdales (please excuse spelling, I'm no equinologist you know). My first setback came when I realized that all the cows were tethered to their stalls. I did notice that some were being led around by what appeard to be leashes of some kind. I didn't know where they were going, nor did I care. I waited for one to pass and then quickly sprang into action. I leaped with all my might and grabbed a hold of what seemed to be some kind of triceratopsish shield on the cows head. Gravity proved the better of the two of us and I succeeded only in kicking the cow and falling down. I was immediately surrounded by angry cowboys and security. I began trying to talk my way out of the mess. "Hey fug you broke ass hiiiicks. I make more mooooonney than all your cowws puuut't'gither."

Luckily for those cowboys, security stepped in and dragged me to the security tent. Ironic Mustache Top Team was able to talk them into not calling the cops as long as she took me home immediately. It's a good thing too, because some poor cops may have been saved a beating at the hands of yours truly. Shortly after the excitement, I "fell asleep" in the car on the way home. It was a good day today, but there are still 3 more days of the fair and a lot of cowboys who need to be taught a lesson. I see much potential for excitement in future for the livestock section of the state fair.

migite · 09-02-2005, 05:56 AM

i feel cheated...

i badly needed to know that wayne was incarcerated and renamed "sally" for the inhouse thugjitsu chain gang champion, hector "bitchslap" alonzo in F block for the chicanos.

this did not happen.

i demand a refund.

malice · 09-02-2005, 09:30 AM

Come on Wayne, you know your not tall enough to jump on a cows back.

Deadly Crescent Kick · 09-02-2005, 10:38 AM

well, if there's a fence...

malice · 09-02-2005, 10:58 AM

True, but its gotta be a pretty tall fence.

bloodyfart · 09-02-2005, 01:08 PM

is ntt sick of you yet?

Ironic Mustache · 09-02-2005, 08:18 PM

Not yet, I gots mad charisma.

bloodyfart · 09-06-2005, 01:50 PM

i give it two more months.

MAGICLIT · 09-07-2005, 01:26 PM

LOL, Brent the pessimist.

09-01-2005, 10:54 PM	#51 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	and now for the cow story... 'Twas a fine sunday evening at the california state fair. Both the thugs and white trash crowd were in attendance, co-existing in a magical, fried utopia on a stick. Our hero was about 6 beers and a yardstick cup'o'margarita worth of drunk, (estimated cost, about $967.43). It was then that I stumbled into the beer garden and found to my delight, a friend from high school working there. After a couple of jokes at the expense of his failure in life, I suggested he give me a yardstick full of beer. He agreed but only if I would accept his chug challenge on his break. I lost the battle, but my drunkeness proved that I had won the war. I suddenly had the irristable desire to inspect the livestock. Upon entering the bovine section, I was inspired by a fabulous idea. If horses could be ridden, why not cows? I'll admit part of the idea came from my fear of trying to mount one of the budweiser clydesdales (please excuse spelling, I'm no equinologist you know). My first setback came when I realized that all the cows were tethered to their stalls. I did notice that some were being led around by what appeard to be leashes of some kind. I didn't know where they were going, nor did I care. I waited for one to pass and then quickly sprang into action. I leaped with all my might and grabbed a hold of what seemed to be some kind of triceratopsish shield on the cows head. Gravity proved the better of the two of us and I succeeded only in kicking the cow and falling down. I was immediately surrounded by angry cowboys and security. I began trying to talk my way out of the mess. "Hey fug you broke ass hiiiicks. I make more mooooonney than all your cowws puuut't'gither." Luckily for those cowboys, security stepped in and dragged me to the security tent. Ironic Mustache Top Team was able to talk them into not calling the cops as long as she took me home immediately. It's a good thing too, because some poor cops may have been saved a beating at the hands of yours truly. Shortly after the excitement, I "fell asleep" in the car on the way home. It was a good day today, but there are still 3 more days of the fair and a lot of cowboys who need to be taught a lesson. I see much potential for excitement in future for the livestock section of the state fair.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

09-02-2005, 05:56 AM	#52 (permalink)
migite Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 287 Internets: 0	i feel cheated... i badly needed to know that wayne was incarcerated and renamed "sally" for the inhouse thugjitsu chain gang champion, hector "bitchslap" alonzo in F block for the chicanos. this did not happen. i demand a refund.
	Damnant quod non intelligunt

09-02-2005, 10:38 AM	#54 (permalink)
Deadly Crescent Kick NJ, Toilet Bowl of USA Join Date: May 2005 Location: secret ninja lair Posts: 1,106 Internets: 10	well, if there's a fence...
	the poster formerly known as-Andy Kaufman NHB Intergender Champion jiu-jitsu isn't the hardass frat guy yelling at you to funnel a beer. its the laid back guy in the corner workin' on 2 chicks.

09-02-2005, 01:08 PM	#56 (permalink)
bloodyfart Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: side control Posts: 2,044 Internets: 203	is ntt sick of you yet?
	<b>We're here, and we're queer, so get used to it</b>

09-02-2005, 08:18 PM	#57 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	Not yet, I gots mad charisma.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

09-02-2005, 09:30 AM	#53 (permalink)
malice Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Bustleton Ave. Philadelphia, PA. Posts: 648 Internets: 10	Come on Wayne, you know your not tall enough to jump on a cows back.

09-02-2005, 10:58 AM	#55 (permalink)
malice Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Bustleton Ave. Philadelphia, PA. Posts: 648 Internets: 10	True, but its gotta be a pretty tall fence.

09-06-2005, 01:50 PM	#58 (permalink)
bloodyfart Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: side control Posts: 2,044 Internets: 203	i give it two more months.
	<b>We're here, and we're queer, so get used to it</b>

09-07-2005, 01:26 PM	#59 (permalink)
MAGICLIT Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: city of sin Posts: 2,753 Internets: 10	LOL, Brent the pessimist.
	I am all in favor of a ruling class, especially since I rule.