This thing is really starting to piss me off, I'm sitting here at work, listening to all of the old hags that sit near me, talk about their overwhelming fascination with the
Atkins Diet.
I fucking hate the Atkins Diet.
You should hear some of the things these women are saying:
Quote:
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I can't have bread or potatoes, or fruits or vegetables...but I don't really mind
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If you can't have bread, potatoes, or fruit;
what the fuck are you supposed to eat?
I'll tell you what the fuck they're supposed to eat: Meat. The whole concept of the Atkins Diet is cutting down on the amount of carbohydrates you eat. Let me give you a quick over-view of what this is trying to accomplish (if I'm punchy on some of the details, I apologize...I'm not an expert, but I know a thing or two, so bear with me).
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The driving force behind the Atkins Diet is to "Not Eat Many Carbs". Why is this? Because
when you do not exercise carbs basically play the same role that fat does, and it sticks to your body. This is what is wrong with America today, we are so lazy as a country, that some dead-ass doctor is
still making millions of dollars because he has found a way that fatasses can eat, and not have to work out.
That's what the whole glamour of this diet is; as long as you don't eat carbs, you don't have to burn carbs, therefore, you can just sit on your ass all day, and lose weight.
Sounds nice, right?
Wrong Motherfucker.
Here is what's wrong with the Atkins Diet:
During the first two weeks of the diet (called the "induction" phase), you are only allowed up to 20 grams of carbohydrates per day (for those of you who aren't too smart, one can of coke has more than 20 carbs). But you are allowed to eat as many fats as you wish, in fact, you are
encouraged to eat as much meat, eggs, butter, olive oil, and mayonnaise as you wish. Is it just me? Or does this diet sound like a
heart-attack waiting to happen?
Some of the main problems of "not eating carbs" that your body will face, include; muscle breakdown, dehydration, headaches, nausea, and kidney problems. Sounds fun...right?
Wrong again motherfucker.
The American Heart Association says that most of the weight loss that occurs from the Atkins Diet is just "water weight". Basically, this means...once you stop the diet, you're going to become a fat-ass again really quickly, and all you'll have to show for it, is an increased risk of heart disease.
From what I see, the Atkins Diet is nothing more than an excuse for fatasses to continue being fatasses, and not feel bad about it. These women, as I type this right now, are sitting at their cubicles eating a plate-full of bacon and eggs. They're praising each other, I shit you not,
fucking praising each other, for not dipping toast in their egg yolk. Why? Because toast has carbs in it. God these women are so pathetic....
With the Atkins Diet, all it does is restrict the fatasses, and give them excuses for never having to eat decent stuff like fruits and vegetables again. Sure, they're probably too lazy to care about eating fruits and vegetables anyway...but for the love of God, don't give them an excuse not to.
This country is so God-damned stupid. Seriously, fuck this rant, I'm just venting right now. I'm just so pissed at sitting here, watching these bitches in my cube come back from McDonalds with four Big Macs each, then watching them pick the bread and tomato off, just eat the meat and cheese, and then think they're going to lose weight?
McDonald's is fucking shit. It doesn't take much common sense to know that my picking the
healthiest part of Big Macs off (bread and veggies), you're not helping your fat-ass get smaller.
I am so glad that Atkins asshole is dead. I only wish he could have died via means of heart attack or kidney failure just so his death could be a testament to what a scam his diet is.
God I hate stupid people....I hate sitting here at work knowing that I am smarter than everyone of the 40+ year old ladies around me. I hate having to correct their emails that they're sending to execs because they're too damn stupid to proofread; I hate having to hold in my contempt for society every time they start raving about how wonderful the Atkins Diet is. Well guess what, I'm no longer holding in my contempt, I'm letting this tool I call "Nubblies" be a means of venting for me. And guess what else? The Atkins Diet is going to kill all of your fat-asses, and I can't wait, 'cause then I won't have to listen to you bitches do what you do best....bitch.
What's that? You lost six pounds on the Atkins Diet? Congratu-fucking-lations...enjoy the heart attack.
Fuck this...I'm done.
-Ugly Bastard