Last Wednesday, I attended
The Big Shizzo 6 with Orgazmo, StDx, The Cockstarr, and some ugly girl.
There were six-acts at the Shizzo, most of them sucked in my opinion.
1. The Big Moop
The Big Moop won some local radio rap-off contest, and thus was awarded the chance to open the Big Shizzo. He was horrible. For a local guy, I suppose he wasn't terrible, but compared to the rest of the acts, he sucked. The best part of the Big Moop was that he was the only guy with bitches up on the stage with him. Sure they were nasty Fort Wayne bitches, but nasty Fort Wayne bitches beats no bitches a'tall.
Rating: 18 of 100 and 5 of 6
2. Eamon
Eamon is known for one song, and one song only, his 'hit' single "Fuck It". He played two songs which really sucked, then he played Fuck It, which wasn't bad I suppose. The best part of Eamon's act was probably the fact that he's a huge pimp, and the fact that the crowd sorta woke up a bit when he started playing Fuck It. He still pretty much sucked though...
Rating: 43 of 100 and 4 of 6
3. Tech-Nine
These guys were totally decent. Before the show started, I overheard several people talking very giddishly regarding Tech-Nine's appearance. I had never heard of Tech-Nine before, but was more than just a little impressed with their act. It was just three guys rapping, and they kicked ass. The coolest part of their set was probably their very first song. They came out and just started rapping faster than I knew humanly possible, and all three of them were syncopated together perfectly...it sounded awesome. Tech-Nine was certainly a welcomed surprise to the Big Shizzo 6.
Rating: 81 of 100 and 1 of 6
4. Obie Trice
I was looking forward to seeing Obie Trice more than any of the other artists scheduled to perform. I am a huge fan of his most recent album "Cheers", and am a huge fan of the Shady Records entourage in general. However, I must say that Mr. Trice sucked. What's sad, is that even while he sucked, I liked him better than three of the six acts at this festival of hip-hop...that's how much the Big Shizzo sucked. Obie's entire set featured nothing but snipets of the songs on his album. He would only play one verse of a song, or just skip his best-known songs altogether. Another thing that really pissed me off were the 13 other assholes up on stage with Obie, doing most of the rapping. It's like anyone who ever did Mr. Trice a favor got to come up on stage and make noise in the microphone with him. Such a behavior would prove to be commonplace with the next two acts as well. By far the best part of Obie's act, and very-well the best part of the whole concert, is when Obie surprised us with an appearance of the rap group D-12 (which he is a member of). It would have been even sweeter if Eminem had joined the D-12 group, but we were not so lucky. It was still pretty cool seeing the rest of them though, even though I had/have no idea who they are.
Rating: 55 of 100 and 3 of 6
5. Chingy
I hate Chingy, I hate the fact that he has no talent, yet has still managed to become famous, and I also hated his set quite a bit. I learned one thing about Chingy on this night: The only thing he is capable of doing is holding onto words that end in "urr" too long. He honestly sucks balls. The entire Colesium went fucking nuts when he came on too, I just wanted to leave. When he started playing Right Thurr, and everyone there was singing along, I made my mind up that the Big Shizzo 6 sucked. I challenge any Chingy fan out there, to tell me one thing that makes him "good". Like Obie, Chingy had everyone he had ever met with him up on stage. Half the time, I was looking around trying to figure out where Chingy went. The best part of Chingy's show was when he stopped singing his songs.
Rating: 4 of 100 and 6 of 6
6. Ludacris
I was pretty excited to see Ludacris. He was the only act at the Big Shizzo that I would have recognized on the street, so the mere recognizability of Ludacris made me want to see him. His act wasn't terrible I suppose. Orgazmo, StDx, Cockstarr, the ugly bitch and I made our way onto the main floor so we could get a bit closer for the set. Ludacris too had a nice sized entourage on the stage with him. He did a pretty decent job of keeping himself in the stoplight, so I didn't mind terribly. The worst part of Luda's set is when he invited Chingy back out to help him sing Chingy's "Holidae In". Chingy was out there for quite a while, much too long for my comfort. At this point during the concert, making an attempt on Chingy's life crossed my mind, but there were so damn many fat-black dudes on stage, I woulda never made it. After playing about six or seven of his hit songs (except 'Growing Pains'...that bastard), Ludacris left, and thus came the conclusion of
The Big Shizzo 6. The best part of Ludacris' set was probably when he played "Stand Up". It's all over the radio right now and shit, so basically everyone was singing along with him, which was pretty cool.
Rating: 73 of 100 and 2 of 6
There weren't any hot girls at the Shizzo either. Most of them were pre-pubecent 12 year olds wearing clothes so skimpy it made you uncomfortable to be near them. Also, there were hardly any black-people there...disappointing. And at 19, I felt older than most everyone there. There were three hot girls that stick out in my mind. One, a mother with her 13 year old son sitting a few seats down from us. She was by far one of the hottest Moms I have ever seen in my entire life. One time while she took her son to the bathroom, I confided in her son's friend that I thought his friend's mom was really hot...he got pretty embarrassed at this. The other two girls were these fine fucking bitches probably between 16-19 that had tight white take-me-home-pants on. I jacked off to the blonde-one when we got home that night...that's how hot she was. She sorta reminded me of buckeye's ex to be honest with you.
In all, the Big Shizzo was a let-down. While we were driving to Fort Wayne hours before the concert, StDx commented that the show was either going to really suck, or be really good. I'd have to say he was right, it really sucked. It wasn't nearly as much fun as I thought it would be. Each artist was only concerned with promoting their entourage, which didn't leave much room for making their music sound halfway decent. With the possibly exception of Tech-Nine, not one of the artists had a good/entertaining/solid performance. They all were lazily walking around on stage, as if putting on a good show for a small Indiana town was the furthest thing from their mind (which it very well may have been).
This is Compton Ass Cory signing off.
-Ugly Bastard