Mr. Show will clear all of this up.
Worthington's Law
Tom V.O.: That's right, Bob. Listen to your friend, a person who makes more money than you is better than you, and therefore beyond criticism. This is called the Worthington Law [which reads "More Money = Better Than"] and it's used to gauge the value of human worth. Carl Espick, economist, and editor of Value Magazine.
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Value Magazine
Cast:
* David - Carl Espick
* John- mechanic
David: Yeah, that's right. So what do you think? Wrong! Whatever you were gonna say doesn't matter because I make more money than you. That's if you're 80% of the public. So, I'm right. Each year, Value Magazine ranks the 500 best people in the history of the world. Did you know that, according to Worthington's Law, the opera singer who called himself, [makes air apostrophes] "The Great Caruso" was nowhere near as great as Sammy Hagar, The Red Rocker? So shut up, Caruso! Hey! Who's greater than Saint Francis of Assisi? How about, uh, Darryl Strawberry? See ya later, Saint Frannie, ya schmuck. Hey, guess who's better than Van Gogh. Let's see, after adjusting for inflation...[uses calculator] almost everybody! He made nothing! [shot of John fixing car]
John: So that means that I'm better than Van Gogh and Galileo put together!
[back to David]
David: And I'm better than you, brainiac. In 1995, Steve Peaters had no money. He was a public school teacher, so his opinion wasn't worth very much. But then, in 1996, he won the lottery, and he was a great man. Greater than Einstein, who made very little. But then, guess what this genius-for-a-day does. He goes and gives his money to charity. Now he's about as dumb as Einstein. Way to go, Einstein. So, read Value Magazine, and get to know the 500 best people in the world.
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Ranking Monkey Link
[shot of gold Ranking Monkey]
Tom V.O.: Order now, and with a one year subscription, you'll get this Value Magazine Ranking Monkey absolutely free. Just press his head, and learn your worth as a person.
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