Alright, assholes. Ask and ye shall receive...eventually.
Ram is maturing nicely. He is now 9 months old and I think he's about as big as he's going to get at this point. He's roughly the same size as his mother now, though he's quite a bit smaller than his older sister. She is kind of a freak for a Sheltie, though...so that doesn't make him any less of a man. Honest.
Cutting his balls off
will make him less of a man, though. That said, worry not DD, he currently walks with them intact. His humping has all but disappeared, even when playing with his favorite humpables. That has led us to be lazy about this issue. We do fear that it is contributing to some of his character flaws, though, like...
He has had a few mild (or...sometimes not so mild) indiscretions. Of these, the most concerning has to do with pissing. Two or three times in the past couple of months, the son of a bitch has pissed inside for no reason whatsoever. I'm talking...we're in the living room watching TV and, without crying or ringing his piss bells, he simply lifts that little bastard leg of his and unleashes his yellow hell upon the floor.
The last time that he did this was many weeks ago, but I caught him mid-stream. Sitting on the couch, I heard a gentle shower behind me splashing onto the wood kitchen floor. I leapt up over the back of the couch yelling at him. His response? He tucked his tail, ran to the other side of the couch (into the living room, away from me), and did his best ID impression by finishing his stream on my still-reclined couch chair. Son of a bitch.
His other malfeasance comes from his adoring relationship with bathroom trashcans, sandals, and panties. If any of those items are available for chewing/eating during a time when he's loose with no supervision, the dog will sin. And he'll do it without hesitation. At times, it seems like he has absolutely no control over his impulses. Other times, though, it's like he is simply using his time on Earth to wait for someone to leave him alone. We used to leave the dog our for hours at a time when he was a puppy. Up to 5 hours without any fear whatsoever. Not now, though. The other day I was gone for 5-10 minutes driving down the road to pick up Thai. Upon my return, I found:
He's always sorry when he chews something. He shows this by putting his ears back and acting all squirrely. That picture was taken immediately following a scolding. After a yelling like that, he keeps his distance until cooler heads prevail. At that point, he'll get closer and stare until he is acknowledged...and then he'll lick. He'll lick until told to stop. Of course, no matter how sorry he is, it doesn't keep him from doing it the next time. He's an asshole like that.
He and the cat get along much, much better than before. After we got back from Vegas a couple of months ago, the cat had calmed immensely. What was once an animal that would hiss if someone looked at him the wrong way had morphed into a real animal with a tiny semblance of compassion. He still isn't the president of the dog's fan club, but he'll man the top of the couch while the dog sleeps on a cushion without hesitation. This is a vast improvement.
The dog's favorite treats are ice cubes. He has never let out a whimper for a morsel of food, but once he hears the ice maker engage, he'll wake from the deepest of sleeps to sit his ass at the foot of the fridge. These simple cubes seem to bring him the joy of a thousand praises. No matter the amount of joy they bring, though, the positive can never overcome his fear of the dreaded didjeridu, the aboriginal noise-making instrument that sits in the corner of my living room. Even the most tempting of ice cubes won't lure the dog within a couple feet of this item. I'm sure this stems from me chasing him with it while he was a puppy, but the fear seems quite irrational. I mean, 99.9% of its time is spent sitting dormant leaned against the corner of the room.
Another thing he does that's a bit odd is barking at the television. I guess it makes sense, but if there are any dogs on tv barking or even a person whistling/clapping/ringing a doorbell, the dog will immediately go on guard, bruffing until a reasonable amount of time has passed.
never did that, but I guess it seems normal. Also, we've been trying to shape his "bark" into more of a "bruff," a very low, under-his-breath noise. While it's a slow going process, he is making strides and generally will only bruff unless extremely yiffed up. This is a good thing.
That's all I have for now. I appreciate your patience and look forward to bringing you more John Rambo in the coming months.