Holy fuck. I've been drinkin a bit tonight guys, but I feel better than I've felt in months.
It's no secret that I've thought I was dying. Not being able to take full deep breaths is a horrible fucking feeling. But for the first time since shortly after I stopped smoking, I can take a full, deep breath. If I could describe to you in words how amazing this feels right now I would be a fucking god damn wordsmith because the feeling is incredible. Absolutely fucking incredible. Euphoric/orgasmic is the closest I can come to describing it.
I haven't been happier than I am right now in a long, long time. I kinda thought I might be dying. To come to terms with death, then rebound, and feel like you have hope of living is magical. To feel strong again. To smell the summer smells that I haven't smelled all summer...well it's fucking god damn amazing guys. I've had like 4 whiskey and coke drinks tonight...but I feel great. SO much hope at the Dirty Harry house tonight. I don't wanna go to sleep!
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