I have a hard time having serious conversations with others about the social anxiety, not because I think others advice isn't worthwhile or anything, but most people I think just don't get what I'm going through sometimes. If there is one thing I would change about myself, it undoubtedly would be my anxiety. I didn't realize it was there until high school, and it wasn't until later in college when I was truly able to put my finger on what it was. I realize it's all on ME, and only I have the power to make it better. It's just tough, and something I take day to day, and will be a lifelong struggle. It's not that I don't go out, or don't talk to people though. A lot of the anxiety is situation based for sure too. The venue, the activity, the people, etc. It's typically the "unknown" situations (a new place, something I've never done, people I don't know) that give me the biggest problems. And yes, drinking can help lighten the mood for sure, but I still feel way too conscious of everything sometimes even when I am drunk. But just so it's clear, yes I go out (bar, casino, concerts, sporting events, etc) but that doesn't mean it's always easy for me.
My life ambitious, goals, etc. really are generic as hell. I want the typical "American Dream", with the least amount of stress and pain along the way. That's all I really ask for. Perhaps that's a problem, I don't know. As far as travel, I'm not huge on it, but if I am going somewhere, it's less to experience a different culture and more so because I have interests in the geology, scenery, etc.
As I mentioned, I've been using online dating and have had a few dates over the last few months, but nothing has really amounted to anything yet. There's a few ladies I hang out with on occasion that are more friend-zoned than anything else at the moment, but there's a potential for something in the future. I definitely am seeking a relationship though, but I'm not dwelling on it. Hardest part for me though these days is it's a lot harder to meet people being out of school, friend groups are becoming smaller as people become older, and now being in my "career", co-workers technically shouldn't even be on my radar (although I've definitely entertained the idea with one).
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