Father's Day
 

In honor of Father's day, I suggest we share one or more stories that sticks out in our mind about our dads. Anyone joining me?

I saw my Dad's penis once. It's bigger than mine.

I remember vividly his dead blank stare and the sound of the moving around of the furniture to get the gurney out of the house.

I'm sort of doubting this is what Cocktooth had in mind.

My father, despite being a great person and a good father, has hardly every given me any good advice my entire life. I find this a bit depressing, because I already have a list of good life advice that I had to find out on my own that i'm going to share with any offspring I happen to spawn in the future.

The only advice he ever gave me revolved around women and it was always the worst advice possible. Always was sucker/nice guy crap. Advice like:

"Anytime you are hanging out with a girl who is just a friend, make sure you are super nice to her and pay for everything. That way, she will tell all of her friends what a nice guy you are, and will give you a better chance with them down the line."

"Never be mean to a girl, even if she's wrong. You never know what kind of bridges you will burn with her friends."


etc. etc. I followed most of this crap to a tee until college when I learned how women actually want to be treated.


It's seriously depressing to think back on how little life advice or how much bad advice both my parents gave me.

Daddy wasn't there!

They were there, and as I said were good parents. I can't claim to have struggled parentally at all growing up, and they were supportive of a lot of things.


It's just that neither of them seem to have had a lot of life experience. I did learn a lot about farming and tools and fixing things though, so I guess that's something.

Sounds like your dad was trying to bang some girl, but she wasn't having none of it, so he got busy with her friend instead. And it was your mom.

Think of how many friends of the women you've berated on facebook have seen how mean you were and chose not to sleep with you!

That attitude is a direct result of going against that attitude.

To be fair, in the last year and a half I have gotten a lot more reasonable and less vitriolic towards women and people in general.

You have seemed to be a little less crazy the past month or so. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

you're just getting used to it. don't become blind to his insanity.

Umm guys, don't you remember the SCotD post just a mere few days ago? Blonde is going to kill someone soon.

My dad went to Thailand and found a prostitute on the street. Said prostitute tried to slyly urge him to the shower so she could steal his wallet, but my dad being learned in the ways of paying for the nappy dugout, saw the thievery coming. He refused the shower and started to get to business. Long story short, it was a dude, he choke slammed "her" into the hallway, "she" left, and somehow still ended up with all the cash in his wallet. He kissed "her." That's my favorite part.

Your dad is gay.

I defo almost went home with a ladyboy while drunk off my ass on Khao San road. I sobered up at the "hotel" when they were naming ridiculous room fees and room insurance and I noticed the lowness of the "girl's" voice. I just walked out and she followed me down the street screaming at me "WHAT'S WRONG? YOU SCARED PUSSY MAN?"

It was pretty awkward.

Were you scared, pussy man?

Same thing happened to me, except instead of walking away, we just spooned in my hotel.

Is he kidding? Is he telling the truth? You're not sure! Nobody knows just went on on the kremlin's vacation!

I know I got shitloads of negrep.

"Was." Thanks for the reminder that I no longer have parents. My mom is still alive but I don't count her.