Howard Stern

[Orgazmo]

Howard Stern is a legend. An absolute legend. In this thread, I'll try to shed some light on the man, provide insight into his show, and share bits of genius that come from his doing.

When I was a wee tot, Stabmaster introduced me to his show that aired on the E! channel. While I probably didn't understand much of what was going on, the fact that there was a dude getting chicks naked was enough to pique my interest. Combine with that his humor and I began to love the guy. Unfortunately, that show went away after awhile and I forgot about Mr Stern. And then, about three and a half years ago, I randomly found a pirated stream of his shows. Between the E! show and that time, he had left terrestrial radio for Sirius (now SiriusXM). It didn't take much listening to realize the guy was still great and his show had only improved in the time since my last listening. Since that time, I've made an effort to listen to his show every morning for as much as I can. When I had a 9-5, that meant hearing ~70% of his show (which is replayed all day long, airs original content Monday-Thursday when they're not on vacation, and lasts ~5 hours). When I got laid off a year and a half ago and started working from home, a lack of having to deal with shitty meetings bumped that number up to ~90%.

For starters, unless you listen to his show, I'd wager to say that Howard isn't the guy you think he is. Due to the way he made a name for himself, most automatically think of the guy as a raunchy, line-pushing, always-looking-to-shock type of guy. That may have been true of his show as it was starting, but it's not accurate at all for the current setup. In fact, there's a bit on the show where Sal (we'll get to the cast in a bit) goes to the street and asks random people, "Who is worse, Howard Stern or XYZ" where XYZ is the name of a vile thing. Ones that come to mind off the top of my head include Mel Gibson, Roman Polanski, and Bed Bugs. I think he tied with Bed Bugs and lost to the other two.

The reality is that he's not like that at all anymore. He's very laid back (unless fucked with), isn't too into the sex stuff (sure, porn stars will come on and ride the Sybian from time to time, but it's not even close to being the driving force of the show), and is just a regular guy (as regular as a guy making ~$100 million/year can be, at least). The guy's passions include playing chess and watching comic book movies. And putting up with adopted animals that his wife brings home.

As mentioned, the show isn't about the naked chicks. Sure, they're there...but, even when they are, it's not about their tits nearly as much as their mind. Howard has a way of relating to nearly any guest and asking them the exact right questions that get them to open up and expand on their psyche. Because of this, virtually any guest can be a great interview simply because he can zero in on whatever makes that person interesting.

This uncanny ability to delve deep into a person's mind and mannerisms makes his best guests people who aren't famous but, instead, are interesting. There is a group of folks that are "interesting," odd, and regular guests called the "Wack Pack." While the group has existed for a very long time, membership has varied through the ages as members have gone their separate ways or died and as new talent has been discovered and added. The members, past and present, include folks like drunken dwarves (Hank The Angry Drunken Dwarf, probably the best wack packer of all time, RIP), crack heads (Crackhead Bob), retards (Gary the Retard, Wendy the Retard, and countless others that are perhaps borderline...the best is when these people talk to one another, disagree about what color is the best, and start calling each other "Retard"), and angry midgets (Eric the Midget, the best current Wack Packer imo...a 30something year old man who is as angry and bitter as you'll ever find).

The subject doesn't even have to be completely off-the-wall to be interesting, though. Howard has been called the inventor of Reality TV. The reason is that, since the beginning of his show, he's focused on the lives of both the on-air talent as well as all other workers that help out. While most radio shows would have a couple of on-air people, his show literally has 30 personalities, each of which has their own storyline, their own inside jokes, and various items that make them unique. A short list of the cast includes:

Howard: Main host obv, mildly eccentric, completely paranoid, bitches a lot about everything

Robin: Cohost, black woman that used to weigh close to 300 lbs, became a vegan and gets regular enemas now and is pretty thin, about to run a marathon, very egomaniacal, got a breast reduction awhile ago but they have since grown back to be size G

Fred: Sound effects man, rarely chimes in with wisdom but instead talks through hilariously appropriate sound drops, perhaps a genius (there's a game called 'Win Fred's Money' that is a simple 7 question test where he'll face anyone for cash. If they win, they get $1k or something, if he wins the challenger's collateral (wife/daughter/friend) has to get naked

Benjy: Joke writer that sits in studio, weird as fuck

Artie: Comedian who formerly sat in on the show, [former?] heroin addict, led to some fantastic content last year when he would do things like fall asleep on the show while claiming to be off heroin, Dr Drew actually called him a liar to his face while he proclaimed he was clean, Artie replies, "I'll take a piss test right now!", Drew replies, "That won't solve anything. You probably have piss hidden in your jacket pocket." He later admitted that he did, indeed, have piss hidden in his jacket. He's no longer on the show due to trying to kill himself almost a year ago (stabbed himself in the stomach multiple times with a chef's knife). He's supposedly doing much better now, but Howard fears what will happen if he comes back.

Gary Dell'abate: Producer of the show, looks like an ape, used to look like exactly like John Oates, gets belittled nearly constantly, very valuable to the show, just wrote a book

Sal: Joke Writer/Prank Caller who work in the background making content. He has big issues at home with his wife. He found out a couple years ago that she had an "emotional friend" who was a dude she worked with. He found texts back and forth from them signed "143" which he later found out means "I love you". This is now a running joke.

Richard: Works alongside Sal, used to be the grossest human alive, now he's just pretty gross. He's a death metal drummer that has worked with some big bands. His favorite band is Coheed and Cambria and, when he does to a concert of theirs, he oftentimes wears an adult diaper so he can drink beer and piss without having to go to the bathroom. Oftentimes gets kicked out of "all you can eat breakfast" places because he drinks 15+ mimosas.

Richard and Sal actually tied for the win for a "win a job on the howard stern show" contest awhile ago. Fans applied for jobs by just being funny. They were both awarded the win and, as such, are now best friends who work together. They often do some pretty gay shit together which has led some to speculate that they fuck. They deny it vehemently.

...and there are countless other more minor people that work on the show, each one with their own story that will pop up every couple of months.

When Howard signed with Sirius, he signed a 5 year deal. Unfortunately, that deal will end at the end of this year. As of now, there's no official resigning deal and he refuses to confirm anything, but he has confirmed that his show will continue regardless of what happens here. He's hinted that he may make his own podcasting platorm of some type.

There are an incredible amount of stories and bits that the show has done that I could post. As these things come to me or as they air, I'll use this thread to share them. Alternately, if any of you have any questions about anything, I'll be happy to shed some light.