Grammar lessons for Shaw
 

I can't take it anymore. I'm making this thread to help you, :jerad:. You might hate me now, but someday you'll thank me.

Let's start with what you wrote in the sexbox:

"We should have an award thread. Pick like funniest poster, and have a ton of other catagory's"

This is a plural/apostrophe issue. Let me explain.

Apostrophes are used for contractions (we won't deal with contractions right now since that's not how you misused it in this example) and possessives. Think of a possessive as claiming something as a possession:

That is Tim's book.

I used an apostrophe because the book belongs to Tim. Here is another example:

Japan's coastal region suffered heavy losses.

I used an apostrophe because the coastal region belongs to Japan.

The reason why your usage was incorrect is because the "category's" don't belong to anyone. Therefore, to make it plural (more than one) it would be categories

Other examples of ies endings: skies, spies, cries

Feel free to ask any questions, and don't listen to the haters.

Like I've said before. If I cared, I would proofread my post. I don't care, nor do I have enough time to worry about it. It will continue to suck.

Not with a little help from your own personal grammarian!

Can we have a lesson about comma splices Mr. Abomination?

I suffer from its vs it's.

Can you help me?

Its really not that difficult.

Didn't take long for the trolling to begin. You guys don't miss a beat. <3

I'm 100% serious.

Fine.

It's vs its.

A contraction is two words becoming one. So it is becomes it's. It has also becomes it's. We use contractions everyday. Some examples: we are becomes we're, will not becomes won't, they are becomes they're, and so on.

Its is a possessive pronoun. For example: The dog ate its food.
Its refers to the dog, and its is possessive because it's talking about the dogs food.

You wouldn't say: The dog ate it's food.
Because it's is a contraction. Separate the contraction if you're not sure.
The dog ate it is food.
The dog ate it has food.

Doesn't work.

Ok, now your confusing me.

you're





This hidden text joke is getting old.

poop

Thanks Repug. Thats very helpful.

Losses*, but perhaps that was a typo and not a real fuck up. Or perhaps you're a dirty fucking hypocrite.

Can you help me with who vs whom?

Thanks.

T'was a typo - figured as soon as I made one someone would call me out.

wouldn't the dog eat his/her food? As in scout ate his burrito then shit for too days.

Who is the subjective. Whom is every other case.

e.g. who is that. AcTive, whom is a swell guy, is the founder of nubblies,

Comma splices are easy to catch and fix. Essentially a comma splice is another name for a run on sentence. Every sentence has a main clause. We use commas to attach a dependent clause onto a main clause.

For example: Harry read his essay, thinking of how to make it better.

Harry read his essay is a independent (main) clause, because it can stand alone. You could easily put a period after essay. "thinking of how to make it better" is a dependent clause, because it's not a stand alone sentence - there's no subject.

A common splice is when you attach two independent clauses:

Harry sipped his drink and looked around, he had always been a messy eater and today was no different.

It's a splice because both clauses are independent. The way to fix a splice is with a period, a semi colon, a dash, parenthesis, or with a coordinating conjunction. A coordinating conjunction is a word that connects two ideas. Like this:

Harry took a bite of his apple and wiped his mouth with a napkin, for he had always been a messy eater.

Coordinating conjunctions are connecting words: for, but, yet, as, or, so, and so on.

Could be. I'm not totally sure on the rules of pronouns, but I think you can substitute his/her for its. I'll have to look it up.

Also, I might as well correct your mistake since it's one a lot of people make.

There are three ways to use: to, too, two.

Two is the number 2.

Too is a kind of way of emphasizing - at least there's how I think of it. Example: There are too many people in here. You are too fat. I want to come too!

To is usually a preposition, which means in relation to an object, basically. So, example: I am going to school.

Repug,

You would make a great middle school English teacher.

Don't forget tew and tu.

Or http://www.nubblies.net/forums/images/smilies/poop.gif

Can't tell if this is an insult or not.

What if I said: "Why is my baby crying?" and someone responded: "The dog ate it's food."

I think then I would say it.

It was intentional, like the DJFC and Kremlin. You've never seen me make that mistake before. Also, "the subjective" is a complete misuse of the word. But that slipped by.

Its is never possessive. It's never possessive. Get it?

Its's?

If you want to use an apostrophe with a word ending in s, such as Jesus, just throw an apostrophe on the end of the s, rather than put an additional s. So...

Jesus'
...Not
Jesus's

Technically both are accepted, but the first example is cleaner.

Jesus' balls were on fire.

It's' special quality is that it's really two words in one!

Is that correct?

Is Schwarzenegger hard to spell?

I believe in this case you would be able to drop the second "s."

I just saw the, "it's vs. its" mistake in a South Park subtitle the other day. Poor form.

Subtitles are more errant than your average post by Shaw.

Actually, it would be Jesus's. When something ends in just the apostrophe, it is plural possessive. e.g.

Those dogs' owner is an asshole.
That dog's owner is an asshole.
Jesus's owner is an asshole.

"Jesus' owner is an asshole." ... That's wrong, unless we're talking more than one Jesus. And I think that would be Jesi anway, right?

I think you threw this one out to be corrected too, so I'll get it.

Your example was wrong. It would actually be "AcTive, who is a swell guy, is the founder..." Because is was the subject in that case.

You could say "AcTive, who is a swell guy, punched whom? He punched that guy, who is also swell, and is clearly gay based on whom he fucks in the ass."

Y'all just got called out.

Who references the subject and indirect object, whereas whom references the direct object. Is this correct?

I think I'd rather hang out with heurisdick than Repug tbh. He just seems to "get it" a little better than Repug.

If it is, then my last example should be "...and is clearly gay based on who he fucks in the ass."

I think you're right.

One I've never been able to get a clear answer on is instant vs. instantaneous

It's Friday! We we we so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, I've never been good with Jesus.


If something is instant it happens immediately, at once: Any employee who broke this ruling was faced with instant dismissal. Something instantaneous also happens immediately, but often as a consequence of something else, that is, at the instant of its occurrence: Death was instantaneous (at the moment of the accident or heart attack which caused it).

so they both mean the same thing?

I like the fact that to make "instant" into "instantaneous," you have to add the word "anus" on the end. You also have to add the letters "e," and "o," but I'm okay with that.

You are correct sir.

As if you even knew which side was correct

[Today 01:57 PM] Shaw: Your a shitty game

Your/You're

Your is when something belongs to you.
"Those are your mittens."

You're is a contraction of you are - obviously it's something you are.
"You're an asshole."

Therefore, the correct word for the sentence you wrote is you're.
"You're a shitty game."

Teacher, colloquial humor aside, in proper English can one really state that a person is a "game" (unless they have an actual game drawn on their body) ?

Cocktooth wrote the following:

The tea party will continue to show up at the end of elections periods to put their name in the news. IE Ross Perot. They will never win office, but they try to figure out what they can gain by which party. They are bigger flip floppers then Colts fans.

Then vs Than

First I will go to the store, then I will masturbate.

My penis is bigger than your penis.

Do you see the difference in usage? Than is for more or less of something, whereas then is like making a list: I'll do this, then this, then this, etc...There are other uses, but these are the most common.

Want me to bump this so someone cares? You do realize unless you give us something with teeth, correcting me is tired and a sign of a lack of disapline on your part.

I rather enjoy these grammatical refreshers.

IE does not equal "for example"

e.g. does.

e.g. Ross Perot, is what you meant.

Fuck you. Ie, Fuck you