Not that this can really measure up, but a couple weeks ago I swam across the Ohio river to avoid the police and ended up drinking more beer with a few hillbillies throwing a bonfire on the Kentucky side after explaining to them why my arm was cut up (fell on rocks before reaching the water, spilling my beer in the process and scraping a good portion of skin off my foot). Just as the sun was coming up, I was left to walk my drunken ass two miles up the river to the gas station so I could have someone pick me up because the fucking hillbillies didn't have a phone. I didn't get any broken bones or anything, but it was still pretty intense.
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