So the night begins by meeting up with a coworker, his gf, and some of her friends at a bar near the UofA campus. I get bored rather quickly and decide to just start pounding doubles to try and make things interesting. We eventually make it down to the dancefloor and at some point an asian dude comes up and starts dancing in front of me in a style similar you see on those dance battle shows. I laugh and start making fun of him, and he continues. I decide to answer with some sweet moves like the sprinkler, running man, etc. This draws a huge crowd and asian dude decides to still take it seriously. He would do something, i would answer back with something ridiculous. There is a "stripper pole" to the side of the dance floor to which I climbed up and swung around. The crowd went wild and a few chicks came over and put some ones down my shirt.
We left that bar around 1 and were walking down the road to another place. I tell my friends, "I'm going bowling." To which they respond "What the fuck are you talking about." At that point I take off at a sprint and plow into row of traffic barricades in a fashion that would make any NFL fullback proud. Why, I dunno, I was trashed and it sounded like a good idea.
Go to the other bar, nothing too eventful happens. We were talking with a group of two dudes and four pretty hot chicks inside the bar, as it closes they ask, "hey you guys wanna come to an afterparty." "Sure sounds good." I get in the car with the girls and we head to the party We get to the house and its a gay party. Full out dudes making out with dudes in the living room. Immediately I'm thinking, "Where the fuck am I, and how far am I from my car?" One of the girls that came with was in the same boat and didn't want to be there any longer, so we decided to make the trip back to my car. Get to car, drop chick off and call up my friends and tell them what just happened.
Driving through Tucson, not knowing exactly where I'm at talking to my friend on the phone getting directions. I make a turn and holy shit i'm at the checkpoint on an Air Force Base.
MP: "I need your ID."
Me: "I just need to turn around, I made a wrong turn."
MP: On radio- "We've got a 55 Charlie here at the 'point."
MP: "NEGATIVE, you need to give me your keys and ID, you're fucking trashed."
Me: "no i just need to leave."
MP: "get out of the vehicle sir."
Me: "FUCK! dude, I can't get a DUI, just let me turn around. I made a wrong turn. I can get all the DUIs i want in 6 months, but not right now."
MP: gets me out of vehicle "go sit in there" which is a little waiting room.
Me: *while walking to room, stop at water fountain and just start chugging water.
Head MP/Sgt whatev: "WHAT IN THE FUCK IS HE DOING! HE CAN'T DRINK ANYTHING, EAT ANYTHING, GO TO THE BATHROOM NOTHING!" "We're calling Tucson PD, pretty sure you're going to jail buddy."
While waiting about 45-60 mins, I BS with one of the MPs for a while. Kinda laughing about it, "so how often does this shit happen, you know somebody just driving make a wrong turn and hey what do ya know I'm on base?"
*laughing "That shit never happens bro, this is the first time i've ever heard of it."
TPD Officer shows up, we talk for a bit, he asks if i'm military, tell him no, and tell him my job, he gives me field sobriety tests, I pass all of them. He doesn't do a breathalyzer or gaze nystagmus. He starts asking if I like my job and how hes thinking about trying to get in. I get cab ride home.
Yes being lucky.
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