Today, I arrived home to see this. It stated it was from Santa. Upon reading the return address, I decided that it was more likely that DDTempest was behind all this. Only time will tell.
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I opened the box with great care... only to find layers upon layers of what can only be described as light, thin, fibrous material with unintelligible, albeit colorful, markings on them.
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After what must have been several hours of careful excavation, I happened upon many curious objects that seem to have remained undisturbed for millennia. Fascinating.
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I cataloged each item and I will show them here in the order they were extracted.
Item #1
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This appears to be a statue honoring a wise, yet fearsome cyclops. Brandishing a sword and hook, he was no doubt a force to be reckoned with. The only part that baffled me was the phallic shaped item on his face. It was located to the right of where a normal human's right eye would be. Perhaps with further research I will be able to discover its meaning.
Item #2
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The next item was cylindrical in nature and had a fiery red design. Most definitely a weapon. Further study is needed. Though I must proceed with caution; it looks quite dangerous.
Item #3
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What we see here looks to be a toy or model of some sort used to explain the reproductive system of an ancient animal.
Item #4
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This item is a drug that was smoked for recreational purposes.
Item #5
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A small amulet bearing magical symbols. Likely worn for protection against evil spirits or the supernatural.
Item #6
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A slender, transparent bag-like container. Contents can be described as short, thin, brown, hair-like clippings. The dig team thinks it might be dried herbs.
Item #7
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We had trouble capturing a photo of this tiny figurine. It is delicately carved and seems to be fully intact. Judging by the colorful sticks he appears to be of great religious importance.
Item #8
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At first this item seemed at odds with the rest of the find. But after careful examination, it was clear that this a mode of transportation for Item #7, the religious figurine. Once placed atop the metal transportation square it made much more sense.
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Item #9
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The final item looks to be a torture device that was used to extract information from even the most hardened slave child. Indeed an unenviable fate.
All in all, the excavation yielded twists and turns the likes that I've never before witnessed. A fine collection sure to advance our knowledge of what once was.
