Stupid. Just... stupid (another semi-narrative)

[Percipere'Chan]

You guys are going to love this one.

Okay, there's a good bit of background that could affect this story but, fuck it. I'm going to get to the good part.

There we are hanging out at subway waiting for a friend of ours to meet up with us and 'crownVic' is talking to a friend of his. I'm being my usual flirtatious self, subtly complimenting this chick and generally just trying to get crownVic, this girl he's flirting with 'lightingbitch' and the other chick working there into some fun, light conversation. It's working, crownVic and I are trading good natured insults and including lightningbitch in the banter (her and me vs. crownVic or crownVic and her vs. me) all having fun and what not.

Now, I'm thinking crownVic is digging this chick, so I step up the charm 'cause I've found invariably that the more I flirt (in a good-natured, subtle, and distant way) the more likely it is that my friend and his interest (the girl) will hit it off. I don't think this is anything new. The more fun a girl has when she's around a guy the more she'll want to hang out with him.

So it's working and the chick is taking an interest, asks crownVic to introduce us. I've actually met her before but I guess she doesn't remember, so I'm giving her a hard time about it.

Alot of boys when they're younger hit girls to show their affection. I was never one of these. I do on occasion toss things at them just to say 'even though I'm talking to somebody else right now, you still have my attention'. It works beautifully, and has an uncanny success rate. And this is actually not far from my thoughts as I see the ice cube land perfectly on the bridge of her nose. My aim is never this bad. The object of the game is to get her attention. Not to rip it out of where it was before. This is the stupid part. While I don't think I need to rush over to the counter from where I was sitting and say "OH MY GOD! ARE YOU OKAY?". I probably should have said something more than 'Oh fuck. And I hit you right in the face.'

So I launch into the:

[Me] "I'm sooo sorry. I totally didn't mean to hit you."
[Lightningbitch] retorts "What the fuck was that for!?"
[Me] "I was meant to be Flirtatious, I didn't MEAN to hit you!?" (me with a look of wtf on my face).
[Lightningbitch] "Yeah, I bet that gets you laid ALL the Time." (although, a good line, way overused)
[Me] "No. That's never really my objective. But yeah, the ice thing works wonders" (Excepting that I was so stunned by her vehement reaction that it came out more like "Yeah. Usually, it works pretty well. Except that I don't get laid. ...(at this point I realize how it sounds and mutter something about how that's not what I set out to do anyway).

So at this point I'm Totally humilated and I'm looking for help from crownVic when Lightningbitch says "You need to Leave". I'm sure my face has rarely looked so stupified. I almost wish someone would have had a camera. That would have been one fucked up expression.

I look to crownVic.

Now, you have to understand something about my friend crownVic. He loves three things. The Law. Anime. And his car. In that order. And his die-hard interest in the Law gives him superHuman encyclopeadic knowledge of it.

So instead of trying to smooth things over, crownVic uses the opportunity to spout one of his random facts about the law.

[crownVic] "She really only has to ask you to leave three times before she can call the police".

Thanks crownVic. That was ideal.

So I'm sitting there, with my jaw still resting on the floor, when I realize, it's gotten so out of hand, that my only choice is to take off.

Now I've done some stupid shit in my day. But I've Never had anything get this out of hand.

I still think this situation was stupid and totally avoidable but, crownVic digs this chick. And though nothing will ever happen between them, he'll undoubtedly take a (unrefined) gentleman's approach and not back me while she's in the room.

If I'm ever in the situation where I have to confront this chick 'Lightningbitch', how would you handle it?

[Fruitacious B]

I'd say, "bitch, step off. I just wanted in your pants, chill out."

[Saint DH]

What a bitch, you should have thrown another ice cube at her face as you were leaving.

[Elegy]

Sorry about your deal, Chan. I'm a big fan of your particular style here with the throwing things at the girl and whatnot, but you've got to remember to never use anything that could cause bodily damage. Since you were at a Subway, I would reccomend instead that you should have used one of those straw sleeves rolled up in a ball. Oh well, I'm just as bad. One time I was leaving my (ex) girlfriend's house and saw that their paper had gotten there, so I turned around and tried to throw it at her while she stood in the doorway. Well, it nearly hit her in the head. I felt like a loser about that one.

[farawayfromhere]

Chan, if she was that much trouble while at Subway you probably don't want to confront her again. If the situation arises just let her be and do your own thing, she doesnt seem worth the trouble. If she over reacts about something that menial just imagine what she would do during a confrontation. I agree with Elegy, I think you idea was cute and well intentioned, and wouldn't blame you for bad aim. The girl is a bitch.

[Percipere'Chan]

Yes! Thanks for posting everybody. I thoroughly enjoyed all of your posts. I should probably just keep my cool and just say something to the effect of 'yeah, I was just thinking you guys would get a kick out of it' but, Truth is, it kinda got to me. I have no problem intentionally berating someone if I think 1) it'll be funny enough and 2) I'm willing to face up to being on the other side of the ridicule. But,

She hadn't done anything to deserve any. And I seriously started to wonder if I did.

fafh, This is probably overdoing it But, (no offense to the guys) your 2cents meant the most. Thanks for writing

[farawayfromhere]

Anytime Chan, I often find we talk about the same things, therefore understand the same things. I'm telling you, the girl's not worth it.

[St. Anky]

Next time use something smooth like, "i'll leave after you're done fuckin me."

They love that straight forward shit.

If she really pisses you off though, say something like:

"Damn, sorry, I didn't notice the string hangin out."

[Combat Chuck]

Whoa. Shit Stanky, that was a blunt 'un.

Anyway, Percipere, don't know if this is going to do any good, but I've been in these situations too. But the girl has never gotten that mad, I've just done things that were a little bit over the top, that I regret doing the second I do it.

But damn, your friend really needs to get a life too. That quote fucking blew me away.

It was good for you to leave. These two are douches.

[Fruitacious B]

Originally posted by St. Anky:
They love that straight forward shit....."Damn, sorry, I didn't notice the string hangin out."

Wow, props on that one.