Official Nubblies Contest #5: Roadkilling - Page 2 - Nubblies.net Forums

BigDongedHoe · 02-24-2004, 02:01 AM

Amret and I's entry(s) will come shortly after spring break and believe me when I say they will be grade A roadkills.

Percipere'Chan · 02-26-2004, 12:50 AM

Damnit. Seems I won't be traveling this weekend afterall.

fizzuckism. I'm still keeping my camera in my car.

StDx · 02-26-2004, 04:20 AM

good stuff will come, I'm still looking for the perfect specimen... I think I'll hit my own.

Jewbie · 02-26-2004, 01:16 PM

Yeah...and after this contest is over. I have found a way we can put those animals to use. A nubblies cook off.

Orgazmo · 03-02-2004, 05:33 PM

Willis the Platypus

Willis was a gardener from South Dakota. He went to Indiana because he wanted to see some stuff. So he came here and got hit.

Willis laying peacefully in the road. He just didn't quite make it to see the stuff he wanted. Poor Willis.

Alright, fuckers. The first one has been submitted. Now let's see some more.

sim_flex_x · 03-02-2004, 06:08 PM

just be patient little one

Pliedes · 03-02-2004, 06:19 PM

Judging from the dimensions of the picture, that platypus is roughly the size of a small car... that's one fucking huge platypus.

Good find Orgazmo.

[ March 02, 2004, 03:21 PM: Message edited by: Pliedes ]

Orgazmo · 03-02-2004, 06:45 PM

Thanks. Saw him whilst driving around Australia the other day. Thought he was a bear at first. He wasn't, though. He was just a platypus (as you can see).

Pliedes · 03-02-2004, 07:13 PM

Thats funny, because I thought you said he went to Indiana from South Dakota, so how'd he end up in Australia?

Orgazmo · 03-02-2004, 07:23 PM

Yeah, I guess I should probably clarify that. It says "so he came here and got hit." Yes, he came here, then started looking for the stuff he wanted to see...but he couldn't find it. So he went to Australia to look. He didn't find it there, either. He did get hit and killed, though.

Mr. Blonde · 03-02-2004, 07:41 PM

I'll always remember Willis as a hopeless perfectionist.

Ugly Bastard · 03-04-2004, 08:57 PM

Nice entry pliedes....

-Ugly Bastard

Orgazmo · 03-04-2004, 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ugly Bastard:
Nice entry pliedes....

-Ugly Bastard

I saw that in the "active topics" shit and assumed he had an entry. I came here a-fucking-sap to see that such is not the case. Thanks for ruining my evening.

Pliedes · 03-04-2004, 10:06 PM

Sorry to ruin your evening.

Don't worry, my post will come soon enough... well, not soon, but right before the deadline probably

Mr. Blonde · 03-09-2004, 05:32 PM

Alright bitches, time to get this ball on the roll

This is Taylor the fawn. Taylor had just actually came out of the forest to work the streets. She grew up on the west side of the woods, and as all of you know, thats not the best place to be brought up. Her family life was filled with drug addiction, violence, and crime. Her Pops needed some money so he made her go out and get the family some crack funds. She has been a prostitute for about 5 years now, and has made quite the reputation for herself. She had planned on keeping some of her funds for herself, and going to community college to try to escape her apparent destiny as a crack whore. Unfortunately, there are some sick ass truckers out there, and after kidnapping and raping her stanky deer ass they took turns running over her. Here is the outcome

Terrible.

If you look at the bottom of her chin, you can see some red. When i took the picture i couldnt get too close because there was a fucking mudpit in the middle of the ditch, but i could see that the truckers apparently ripped open her lips...for some reason...

Note how the tail is in its upright position, and if you look closely you can see the anus has been stretched beyond its..."normal" capacity.

This is Rodney the skunk. It took us a really long time to get a positive ID on him, because his face, well, doesnt exist anymore. Rodney worked for "Forest Security", in the mace dept. Rodney had been having a rough time at work lately, the demand for mace has just been too high lately for him to keep up with the supply. From the evidence given, it looks like he was just trying to cross the road to look for some mammal pun, and seeing as how he was not far down the road from our friend Taylor, i bet i wouldnt be far from the truth by saying he was gonna hit that shit, before those goddamn truckers got to her. Unfortunately, he didnt quite make it.

On the right part of the picture, you can see what seems to be Rodneys jaw...or ribcage.

Closeup.

Note how his body is curled, showing his futile attempt to protect himself from the oncoming traffic.

[ March 09, 2004, 03:30 PM: Message edited by: Mr. Blonde ]

Ugly Bastard · 03-10-2004, 05:12 PM

Blonde, it looks to me that you're going to win this contest, because you're the only person who entered. Eh hell, even if other people do enter, you're still going to win, because this was a perfect entry.

-Ugly Bastard

StDx · 03-10-2004, 05:21 PM

don't be so quick to give up that trophy, slugger... there's still 10 days left.

Orgazmo · 03-14-2004, 11:03 PM

I've heard a lot of promises from a lot of people...but with less than a week left, I've only seen one entry. What's the problem?

StDx · 03-19-2004, 03:26 AM

The following pictures were gathered on a roadkilling journey with my good friend, StabMaster Arson... there was another person along for the ride who has chosen to remain anonymous.

another case of an unidentified soul drinking itself to death...

[ March 19, 2004, 01:55 AM: Message edited by: StDx ]

StDx · 03-19-2004, 03:31 AM

looks like this cat saw it coming...

StDx · 03-19-2004, 03:45 AM

Hey, what's that stain in the road?

Let's follow this cord of entrails and see what it leads to...

oh, shit... it looks like... oh fuck... is that? is that?

Shit, that's him... it's Chris... I just hung out with him last night... how could have this happened?

Here's the scene...

StDx · 03-19-2004, 04:09 AM

From what I gathered, it seems Chris and a couple of his friends, after a night of heavy drinking, thought it would be fun to play a game of 'Frogger' across 15 in the middle of the night.

As you can see, Chris was impacted by a large vehicle of some sort and propelled forward at enough velocity to leave a nasty skidmark... it looks as though just before dying he put his arms up in the "cold-chillin" pose he was so intently trying to bring back.

Alright, the next few pictures I saved for the end because they may be too violent for most people. Parents, please turn your children away from the monitor.

Upon impact, Chris actually expelled his craw through what is left of his rectum... as you can see, the craw is completely removed from the body.

first, the view from behind...

finally, the craw... unfortunately, I didn't get any pictures of the craw in direct relation to the body, but it was a good 7-12 feet away.

take note of the corn remaining of Chris' last meal.

god bless you, Chris, and may you rest in peace.

StabMaster Arson · 03-19-2004, 05:18 AM

It was a good time.

I was more of an aquaintance with Chris than a friend. I had met him through StDx and we hung out a couple times. He was a shady character that I didn't really want to get to know too well, he was kinda an asshole who never thought of anyone but himself. This isn't meant to take away from the tragedy of what happened to him, but to give more of an insight into who he really was.

Here are a few words I plan on using at the funeral:

Chris was a rebel, he also was a thief
He'd take your granny's pension and kick her false teeth
Stole his uncle's car, drove it into town
Chris was a hard man, they'd never take him down
Chris didn't care, didn't give a fuck
Steal your fucking pants when he was down on his luck
Prison was the place Chris needed to be
In with all the bad guys just like me
Chris was a drunk, liked whores and TV
Hooked up with a good girl, stole her corporate ID
Planned the biggest job the country's ever seen
A fuck off with a shotgun
Chris was really mean

sim_flex_x · 03-20-2004, 06:20 AM

While driving south along State Road 15 on a beautiful but chilly afternoon, Iggy and I spotted this fellow laying on the side of the road. We pulled over for further inspection, and to our dismay, we discovered it was none other than our old friend Antwon Rashaad a.k.a. "Sunshine". We reported his death to the police and they recently got a hold of us to tell us his story.

Antwon was a good man, but like everyone, he struggled with some parts of his life. As a young lad, while other boys were chasing girls on the playground and tugging on their pigtails during class, Antwon found himself secluded from others, daydreaming of a day he would be a professional dancer. Yes, Antwon loved to dance, the applause of the audience, the feel of the breeze through his fur as he leapt and pirouetted across the stage. As time went on, Antwon's dream came close to a reality; however, no male dancers were needed. After surgically removing his antlers, choosing his dance name "Sunshine", and hiding his "male parts" in his leotard, he was welcomed with open arms to a prestigious ballet school where he was given the chance of a lifetime. He, of course, took this without hesitation.

After a few months, fellow dancers began to question Sunshine's sexuality since "she" never joined in the girly conversations behind the curtain, nor was "she" ever seen walking with a man. Sunshine desperately wanted to dance, so "she" decided to get a boyfriend so as to stop the rumors. The only man that was constantly around the theater was the owner's son. He was not only in charge of overseeing the ongoings in his father's theater, but was also engaged to Sunshine's instructor, Lorlynn. Wanting desperately to fit in, Sunshine did the unthinkable and began pursuing a relationship with this man, Blaire. Blaire, the bastard that he was, took Sunshine up on "her" offer and they began having a somewhat sexual relationship.

However, one night after rehearsal, Sunshine's teacher caught "her" and Blaire kissing behind the curtain. Lorlynn was furious and demanded an explanation. Now, Antwon was a hopeless romantic and felt awful for causing problems for Lorlynn and Blaire, but he wanted so badly to dance. To the dismay of his fellow dancers, he confessed to his lies and explained he was really a man. Lorlynn was furious and told him to leave at once; he was no longer welcome to dance in any studio where she taught.

Antwon left the theater, his dreams crushed. He headed to a local liquor store and purchased a 6 pack of Budweiser. Being dedicated to dance all his life, Antwon rarely drank. After a couple of cans he was stumbling around along the side of the road when a car pulled over, it was Blaire. Apparently this man had a secret of his own; he was more into Antwon than people thought. He tried to put the moves on Antwon who was too intoxicated to stop the man, when another car pulled up, it was Lorlynn. She followed Blaire. Mad with furry she drove toward the two who were struggling in the middle of the road. Blaire saw her coming and leapt out of the way, but Antwon wasn't so lucky. She struck him with her car and quickly sped away. Not wanting to leave the body in the middle of the road, Blaire dragged the lifeless body to the side of the road, where we found it.

This was how we found Antwon. He died in his favorite ballet position.

Here you can see some of his wounds from being hit by Lorlynn's car.

Notice the flap of skin that appears above the curve of Antwon's back. This also happened when he was hit by the car and skidded across the ground. Out of respect for the dead, we decided not to move the body, but we can only assume what his other side looks like with this skin missing.

sim_flex_x · 03-20-2004, 06:22 AM

Not too far away from Antwon's body we found part of Lorlynn's bumper and headlight, and also the last beer Antwon consumed.

Here you can see the blood stain left in the road after Blaire dragged Antwon's lifeless body to the side of the road.

As Iggy and I returned to my car, we turned back for one last look on our friend.

Rest in peace Antwon, you will forever be missed.

02-24-2004, 02:01 AM	#26 (permalink)
BigDongedHoe Sex Kitten Milf fuuucck Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 3,704 Internets: 55974	Amret and I's entry(s) will come shortly after spring break and believe me when I say they will be grade A roadkills.
	There's life and then there is Cubs baseball, it's a chore to seperate the two.

02-26-2004, 12:50 AM	#27 (permalink)
Percipere'Chan Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: My Machine Posts: 460 Internets: -238	Damnit. Seems I won't be traveling this weekend afterall. fizzuckism. I'm still keeping my camera in my car.
	Dead, death, grim on a pale horse, empty, hollow, inanimate, fataled, black curtained, annihilated.

02-26-2004, 01:16 PM	#29 (permalink)
Jewbie Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Tel Aviv Posts: 74 Internets: 10	Yeah...and after this contest is over. I have found a way we can put those animals to use. A nubblies cook off.
	Shalom my brothers

03-02-2004, 07:41 PM	#36 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 284106	I'll always remember Willis as a hopeless perfectionist.
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

03-09-2004, 05:32 PM	#40 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 284106	Alright bitches, time to get this ball on the roll This is Taylor the fawn. Taylor had just actually came out of the forest to work the streets. She grew up on the west side of the woods, and as all of you know, thats not the best place to be brought up. Her family life was filled with drug addiction, violence, and crime. Her Pops needed some money so he made her go out and get the family some crack funds. She has been a prostitute for about 5 years now, and has made quite the reputation for herself. She had planned on keeping some of her funds for herself, and going to community college to try to escape her apparent destiny as a crack whore. Unfortunately, there are some sick ass truckers out there, and after kidnapping and raping her stanky deer ass they took turns running over her. Here is the outcome Terrible. If you look at the bottom of her chin, you can see some red. When i took the picture i couldnt get too close because there was a fucking mudpit in the middle of the ditch, but i could see that the truckers apparently ripped open her lips...for some reason... Note how the tail is in its upright position, and if you look closely you can see the anus has been stretched beyond its..."normal" capacity. This is Rodney the skunk. It took us a really long time to get a positive ID on him, because his face, well, doesnt exist anymore. Rodney worked for "Forest Security", in the mace dept. Rodney had been having a rough time at work lately, the demand for mace has just been too high lately for him to keep up with the supply. From the evidence given, it looks like he was just trying to cross the road to look for some mammal pun, and seeing as how he was not far down the road from our friend Taylor, i bet i wouldnt be far from the truth by saying he was gonna hit that shit, before those goddamn truckers got to her. Unfortunately, he didnt quite make it. On the right part of the picture, you can see what seems to be Rodneys jaw...or ribcage. Closeup. Note how his body is curled, showing his futile attempt to protect himself from the oncoming traffic. [ March 09, 2004, 03:30 PM: Message edited by: Mr. Blonde ]
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

02-26-2004, 04:20 AM	#28 (permalink)
StDx Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: right behind you Posts: 931 Internets: 306	good stuff will come, I'm still looking for the perfect specimen... I think I'll hit my own.

03-02-2004, 05:33 PM	#30 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,728 Internets: 311447	Willis the Platypus Willis was a gardener from South Dakota. He went to Indiana because he wanted to see some stuff. So he came here and got hit. Willis laying peacefully in the road. He just didn't quite make it to see the stuff he wanted. Poor Willis. Alright, fuckers. The first one has been submitted. Now let's see some more.

03-02-2004, 06:08 PM	#31 (permalink)
sim_flex_x Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: St. Pete Posts: 690 Internets: 10	just be patient little one

03-02-2004, 06:19 PM	#32 (permalink)
Pliedes Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Puget Sound Posts: 4,594 Internets: 1608	Judging from the dimensions of the picture, that platypus is roughly the size of a small car... that's one fucking huge platypus. Good find Orgazmo. [ March 02, 2004, 03:21 PM: Message edited by: Pliedes ]

03-02-2004, 06:45 PM	#33 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,728 Internets: 311447	Thanks. Saw him whilst driving around Australia the other day. Thought he was a bear at first. He wasn't, though. He was just a platypus (as you can see).

03-02-2004, 07:13 PM	#34 (permalink)
Pliedes Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Puget Sound Posts: 4,594 Internets: 1608	Thats funny, because I thought you said he went to Indiana from South Dakota, so how'd he end up in Australia?

03-02-2004, 07:23 PM	#35 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,728 Internets: 311447	Yeah, I guess I should probably clarify that. It says "so he came here and got hit." Yes, he came here, then started looking for the stuff he wanted to see...but he couldn't find it. So he went to Australia to look. He didn't find it there, either. He did get hit and killed, though.

03-04-2004, 08:57 PM	#37 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	Nice entry pliedes.... -Ugly Bastard

03-04-2004, 10:06 PM	#39 (permalink)
Pliedes Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Puget Sound Posts: 4,594 Internets: 1608	Sorry to ruin your evening. Don't worry, my post will come soon enough... well, not soon, but right before the deadline probably

03-10-2004, 05:12 PM	#41 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	Blonde, it looks to me that you're going to win this contest, because you're the only person who entered. Eh hell, even if other people do enter, you're still going to win, because this was a perfect entry. -Ugly Bastard

03-10-2004, 05:21 PM	#42 (permalink)
StDx Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: right behind you Posts: 931 Internets: 306	don't be so quick to give up that trophy, slugger... there's still 10 days left.

03-14-2004, 11:03 PM	#43 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,728 Internets: 311447	I've heard a lot of promises from a lot of people...but with less than a week left, I've only seen one entry. What's the problem?

03-19-2004, 03:26 AM	#44 (permalink)
StDx Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: right behind you Posts: 931 Internets: 306	The following pictures were gathered on a roadkilling journey with my good friend, StabMaster Arson... there was another person along for the ride who has chosen to remain anonymous. another case of an unidentified soul drinking itself to death... [ March 19, 2004, 01:55 AM: Message edited by: StDx ]

03-19-2004, 03:31 AM	#45 (permalink)
StDx Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: right behind you Posts: 931 Internets: 306	looks like this cat saw it coming...

03-19-2004, 03:45 AM	#46 (permalink)
StDx Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: right behind you Posts: 931 Internets: 306	Hey, what's that stain in the road? Let's follow this cord of entrails and see what it leads to... oh, shit... it looks like... oh fuck... is that? is that? Shit, that's him... it's Chris... I just hung out with him last night... how could have this happened? Here's the scene...

03-19-2004, 04:09 AM	#47 (permalink)
StDx Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: right behind you Posts: 931 Internets: 306	From what I gathered, it seems Chris and a couple of his friends, after a night of heavy drinking, thought it would be fun to play a game of 'Frogger' across 15 in the middle of the night. As you can see, Chris was impacted by a large vehicle of some sort and propelled forward at enough velocity to leave a nasty skidmark... it looks as though just before dying he put his arms up in the "cold-chillin" pose he was so intently trying to bring back. Alright, the next few pictures I saved for the end because they may be too violent for most people. Parents, please turn your children away from the monitor. Upon impact, Chris actually expelled his craw through what is left of his rectum... as you can see, the craw is completely removed from the body. first, the view from behind... finally, the craw... unfortunately, I didn't get any pictures of the craw in direct relation to the body, but it was a good 7-12 feet away. take note of the corn remaining of Chris' last meal. god bless you, Chris, and may you rest in peace.

03-19-2004, 05:18 AM	#48 (permalink)
StabMaster Arson Roscoe P. Coldchain Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Stabbin Cabin Posts: 2,759 Internets: 1425	It was a good time. I was more of an aquaintance with Chris than a friend. I had met him through StDx and we hung out a couple times. He was a shady character that I didn't really want to get to know too well, he was kinda an asshole who never thought of anyone but himself. This isn't meant to take away from the tragedy of what happened to him, but to give more of an insight into who he really was. Here are a few words I plan on using at the funeral: Chris was a rebel, he also was a thief He'd take your granny's pension and kick her false teeth Stole his uncle's car, drove it into town Chris was a hard man, they'd never take him down Chris didn't care, didn't give a fuck Steal your fucking pants when he was down on his luck Prison was the place Chris needed to be In with all the bad guys just like me Chris was a drunk, liked whores and TV Hooked up with a good girl, stole her corporate ID Planned the biggest job the country's ever seen A fuck off with a shotgun Chris was really mean
	LEGALIZE CRIME!

03-20-2004, 06:20 AM	#49 (permalink)
sim_flex_x Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: St. Pete Posts: 690 Internets: 10	While driving south along State Road 15 on a beautiful but chilly afternoon, Iggy and I spotted this fellow laying on the side of the road. We pulled over for further inspection, and to our dismay, we discovered it was none other than our old friend Antwon Rashaad a.k.a. "Sunshine". We reported his death to the police and they recently got a hold of us to tell us his story. Antwon was a good man, but like everyone, he struggled with some parts of his life. As a young lad, while other boys were chasing girls on the playground and tugging on their pigtails during class, Antwon found himself secluded from others, daydreaming of a day he would be a professional dancer. Yes, Antwon loved to dance, the applause of the audience, the feel of the breeze through his fur as he leapt and pirouetted across the stage. As time went on, Antwon's dream came close to a reality; however, no male dancers were needed. After surgically removing his antlers, choosing his dance name "Sunshine", and hiding his "male parts" in his leotard, he was welcomed with open arms to a prestigious ballet school where he was given the chance of a lifetime. He, of course, took this without hesitation. After a few months, fellow dancers began to question Sunshine's sexuality since "she" never joined in the girly conversations behind the curtain, nor was "she" ever seen walking with a man. Sunshine desperately wanted to dance, so "she" decided to get a boyfriend so as to stop the rumors. The only man that was constantly around the theater was the owner's son. He was not only in charge of overseeing the ongoings in his father's theater, but was also engaged to Sunshine's instructor, Lorlynn. Wanting desperately to fit in, Sunshine did the unthinkable and began pursuing a relationship with this man, Blaire. Blaire, the bastard that he was, took Sunshine up on "her" offer and they began having a somewhat sexual relationship. However, one night after rehearsal, Sunshine's teacher caught "her" and Blaire kissing behind the curtain. Lorlynn was furious and demanded an explanation. Now, Antwon was a hopeless romantic and felt awful for causing problems for Lorlynn and Blaire, but he wanted so badly to dance. To the dismay of his fellow dancers, he confessed to his lies and explained he was really a man. Lorlynn was furious and told him to leave at once; he was no longer welcome to dance in any studio where she taught. Antwon left the theater, his dreams crushed. He headed to a local liquor store and purchased a 6 pack of Budweiser. Being dedicated to dance all his life, Antwon rarely drank. After a couple of cans he was stumbling around along the side of the road when a car pulled over, it was Blaire. Apparently this man had a secret of his own; he was more into Antwon than people thought. He tried to put the moves on Antwon who was too intoxicated to stop the man, when another car pulled up, it was Lorlynn. She followed Blaire. Mad with furry she drove toward the two who were struggling in the middle of the road. Blaire saw her coming and leapt out of the way, but Antwon wasn't so lucky. She struck him with her car and quickly sped away. Not wanting to leave the body in the middle of the road, Blaire dragged the lifeless body to the side of the road, where we found it. This was how we found Antwon. He died in his favorite ballet position. Here you can see some of his wounds from being hit by Lorlynn's car. Notice the flap of skin that appears above the curve of Antwon's back. This also happened when he was hit by the car and skidded across the ground. Out of respect for the dead, we decided not to move the body, but we can only assume what his other side looks like with this skin missing.

03-20-2004, 06:22 AM	#50 (permalink)
sim_flex_x Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: St. Pete Posts: 690 Internets: 10	Not too far away from Antwon's body we found part of Lorlynn's bumper and headlight, and also the last beer Antwon consumed. Here you can see the blood stain left in the road after Blaire dragged Antwon's lifeless body to the side of the road. As Iggy and I returned to my car, we turned back for one last look on our friend. Rest in peace Antwon, you will forever be missed.