Love

[Ugly Bastard]

Originally posted by Titan:
I can honestly say there are probably only... 3 people outside of my family that I can say I love.

Titan, I would rebute to this comment, but BDH said it better than I could dream to:

Originally posted by BDH:
Loving someone and being in love are two totally different worlds.

Amen.

If I'm not mistaken, we're discussing on what love is in the context of "being in love" not simply "loving someone".

That said, I doubt many of us truly know what it feels like to "be in love", yet so many of us are trying to explain what it is.

Now, Titan, you may be one of the few people I know who might be the exception to my "no teenager knows what it feels like to be in love" rule. All I was saying in my post was: "Several people are trying to explain what it feels like to be in love, when I would estimate that probably none of us really knows what it feels like to "be in love" (not simply "love someone").

I could explain what it's like to "love someone". Shit, I love a lot of people. "Loving someone" is simply caring about them, and wanting to see good come into their life. That's the way I define "loving someone", and under my definition, there are a helluva lot of people I love.

Now, I have no clue what it's like to "be in love" with a significant lady, so I'm not even going to try to define it like so many others before me have. And for those of you who have defined what it's like to be in love, ask yourself, are you really in love? Odds are, probably not.

-Ugly Bastard

[Titan]

And while you're on the subject of asking yourself things you don't know because you've never experienced, ask yourself a few more questions:

Does the action or event of being "in love" even exist at all? Or is it something that human beings have created in hopes (and dreams) of bettering their situation?

Does the idea that is God actually exist at all? Or is it something that human beings have created in hopes (and dreams) of bettering their situation?

No I'm not trying to steer the conversation. But isn't the parallel amusing? I think you're right UB, no one should be trying to define what being "in love" is, we don't even know that it exists, much less that we've experienced it.

The sad truth, my friends, is that it all always comes down to a difference of definition. You're trying to hard to grade this, to put it on a scale and say "this is A+ love, and this is B- love". You were onto something when you stated there is a difference betweening "loving someone" and being "in love". I could apply this chart to myself, but I use another means. I'm going to divulge here for a minute, you could apply this chart to yourself, but being as you are a different person than I, you may not need to. I know that if Pliedes ever graces us with his presence, he'll at least know what I'm talking about here.

I don't love my three best friends the same way "loving them" and then my 'wife' in another way "being in love". I love them all completely differently for completely different reasons. I'd probably take a bullet for all of them. But I love them all for different reasons. I could say that if I had to pick one of them to live, I'd pick my wife over any of them. It's not because of a difference of being "in love" with her and not the others, it's how I love her. It's not because she's a girl and I need that gap to fill my life, or because I'm in a bubble with her, or because society tells me I need a mate, or because I feel empty without her (though I probably would just because she's been well in my life for the past 4 years, anyone would feel empty from the loss of a close friend), it's not like I magically love her because someone sprinkled fairy dust on us, it's that I can't not love her. She was the first person I ever loved without trying. The only way you could arrive at me loving her "more" (which would be your "in love" equivalent) is because I love her on more levels for more reasons or love more things about her than other people or love more things about her than I don't like about her. It's fucking ridiculous to sit here and be like, "Hmmm... am I actually in love or do I just love, or do I just think I love..."

I think UB is correct in saying there will not be one person who gets on here and defines "in love" in the most correct way. Love (or being "in love" <--- it's still an emotion) is different for every person, just like all emotions; different causes, different effects. On the other hand, you can't stand on the other side and say I don't know what my definition of the idea that your phrase describes is. So far I've just been trying to toss away some of the typical stereotypes that people have about being in love. And I'd like to hear an explanation, UB, as to how you know there is a difference between "love" and "being in love", if you've never experienced it, go ahead. That's about as ridiculous as people arguing whether there is a difference between God and the Son Jesus that came out of him. I've never fucking met either of them, I don't fucking know, so I'm not going to act like I do.

And you know what? Fuck all that. Some languages have well over 10 different words for "love". It doesn't fucking matter. When you get down to it, no matter what definitions or words you're using in whatever language you speak, or if language didn't exist any more at all, the idea we're discussing is still there because the feelings you experience are as well. "Love" or "being in love" or "prancing around naked in the summer breeze" whatever the fuck you want to call it, it's still the same fucking thing. If you have to sit here and and psycho-analyze yourself, "Is she my girlfriend... or am I just dating her... or are we just friends with benefits?" I fucking have never even asked a girl out in my entire fucking life. Why? Because it doesn't fucking matter, you don't need to sit there and be like, "Wanda, I want to go out with you because I am truly in love with you." Let your feelings speak for themselves; actions speak louder than words. Fuck. Sake. You can take the all mysterious definition of being in love and cram it up your hopeless ass.

God mother-fucking damnit people piss me off.

[ August 10, 2003, 12:11 AM: Message edited by: Titan ]

[Titan]

By the way, Pliedes says fuck you all.

[ August 08, 2003, 12:13 PM: Message edited by: Titan ]

[Ugly Bastard]

Decent points in the post above last.

It's been fun watching a bunch of 16 year old whores try to define love in this thread, I must say.

Titan, my respect level for you has grown, good work.

-Ugly Bastard

[ August 08, 2003, 12:18 PM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]

[the_butcher]

Whether or not you believe that a 17 year old male can be in love is your opinion. But if it is your opinion, then I say fuck you.

There certain types of people in this world. People that do things to try to please others, and then there are people who are just themselves but stil manage to change a person's life more than they could ever imagine. It is the latter type of person that is the kind that I feel are truly capable of loving. People who try to please everyone are obviously doing it for personal gratification, because they are doing it for themselves, not for the people. The other group of people, however, affect others without trying, and that is so much more significant.

What does all this have to do with love, you ask? On June 28th, I lost the one person in my life that I can truly say I was in love with. Even though I haven't known her for my whole life or even a good portion of it, she changed me in so many ways that I couldn't even list them all. Without even trying, she was the most influential person in my life, she has made the biggest mark in my life to this day. She and I always talked about the difference between the phrases "I love you" and "I'm in love with you". She and I always would always say "I love you" to each other, because we did love each other. Just like you love your friends and family. The difference is that we realized it was not the same as being in love. However, as time passed, we grew closer and closer and I can say that for the first time in my life, I was in love with someone.

Everyday I think about her. I would cut my own heart out and set it on fire if it meant I could see her one more time. I write her every night, but yet it doesn't do much to help cope. On the outside, I may seem alright, doing better. But I will tell you all with the most sincerity I can give, if you ever lose someone as special as she was, you will never heal. Life forever has been changed for me.

You think I can't experience love because I'm young? Fuck you. When you finally experience it, you will know that it's not something that comes with age. It's something that happens, and in that moment where you realize that, it will be the single greatest moment of your entire life.

I'll end with saying this. Tear my post apart. Break it into little sections and explain to me why you think I'm wrong. But nothing can change my past and nothing will change my emotions.

"You can change your mind but not your heart and if you try and fake it again I'll know."
-The June Spirit

[ August 08, 2003, 12:44 PM: Message edited by: the_butcher ]

[Fruitacious B]

Originally posted by BigDongedHoe:
The people that want to define the word are the ones who are searching for it.

I have just gained a lot more respect for you BDH. Brilliant statement that was, indeed.

I can't say that I've been in love. I question it everyday. The best I can say in relation to love is that it hurts the most when it's lost. I know that what I've felt lately will never be what the butcher does everyday, and I pray that I never have to handle anything like that. I can say that I lost the thing I wanted the most, and I'd do anything to get it back. I think about it every minute, about things she's said, and things we've done, and it feels as if the world is shrinking around me everytime I realize that there won't be more of those memories. I'm just a dumbass kid, and yes I have attempted to define love. It's one of the things that I'm the most curious about. It's a feeling that many experience, but no one can explain. When it is explained, it's subjective, and that's what's great about it. So yeah, maybe I'm young and I haven't experienced it, doesn't mean that I'm not trying to learn.

[malibu]

I've been meaning to post on this thread for quite the time... but I didn't know what to say... I'm not going to attempt to define what love is, because there's really nothing to define. Love can't defined by just one person. Love's what you make it and that's what it ammounts to. It's different for everyone. But I have to say that I found myself speechless when I read the_butcher's posts. Especially his first one in this thread. It amazed me. His most recent post also left me in awe. Everyone can continue to argue about how old they think people should be before they "truly know what love is," or "what love truly is." But in all reality you're all pretty much right. You defined what love was to you. Exactly what love is can't be defined and agreed on. Simple as that.

[Alpha]

While at first I gave this message very little attention it has turned into one of the best threads I've read since my time here on this board. I didn't really like the idea of putting an actual definention to the word love. It's a silly and fruitless goal. There are some words that will never be defined. Such as; hate, fear, depression, happiness, and blue (along with everyother color).
I looked the word Love up in the dictionary at my house and found this definition attached next to the word.

Love - 1. An intense affection for another person based on familial or personal tied. 2. an expression of one's afftection 3. Intense sexual passion. 4. An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object 6. A strong entusiasm 7. The feeling of benevolence, kindness, or brotherhood towards another.

7 different definitions (actual 16 but I didn't want to type stupid ones) for the same word. It's obvious it cannot be defined by words. Love can only be defined (or proven) through thought and comprehension. Words can't cut it, neither can actions. Every bit of love is internal. Two people might love eachother but it doesn't mean the same thing for either. That's why everyones' posts were so different. Just as my close friend the_butcher understands and knows sorrow "more" than I will ever know (god-willing).

Basically the point I'm getting to is that love is something discovered through experience. As UB posted earlier that your grandparents would know "true love" it's because they have had years of lessons about what love is. While I believe is very easy to comprehend what love roughly is, i know that no one hear will ever fully understand it enough to write it down. I could understand more and more about love than anyone else here if I lived to be one thousand years old, but could never grasp what it can be and is. Love's meaning is untangible and undefinable.

I do want to add that every person that replied is right, love is everything said by each and everyone of you (those who attempted to define it). But love is also so much more.

[ August 14, 2003, 12:25 AM: Message edited by: Alpha ]

[Titan]

Yawn.
Dressing anyone?

[tonguegina]

I found it! I found it!

That's right kids, the meaning of love. Here it is:

"Love isn't just a feeling, it's shaving your balls." - Michelle Flahreday (Alysson Hannigan) American Wedding

[sim_flex_x]

love's good

[Titan]

Originally posted by sim_flex_x:
love's good

Somebody got laid tonight...

(You can blame that one on Pliedes).

[ August 18, 2003, 02:36 AM: Message edited by: Titan ]

[VOL]

Love is something unexplainable that most people only think they feel. You really never know love until you're in it. However "love at first sight" is real... it really probably is just an instant obsession.

[silver and cold]

Okay, after reading everyones posts, I'm gonna say it..
LOVE is not a word, it cannot be defined, its a feeling. You may think your in love, but everyone knows if your in love you'll know it...
Okay, now I'm done with my sensitive side.

[Fruitacious B]

Just FYI, but somebody has already said what you've said. At least you understand that Love is undefineable and that yes, it indeed is a feeling.

[tonguegina]

Just a thought from my dark, depressing side...

What if true and pure love doesn't exist? Could it not just be something that optomistic idealists came up with to give them hope for something more in their miserable and pathetic lives? The divorce rate is around 50%, ladies and gentlemen. I wonder if ANYONE can explain love...if it exists. Can anyone prove that love exists? Can they show me evidence that what is perceived as love is indeed love and not just a longing, a deep connection, a friendship that went too far, or, as stated earlier, an obsession? I realize this may seem unimaginable for me to be describing such a thought, to some people, but it is a possibility, is it not? I think it should be explored.

[sim_flex_x]

tonguegina, no one can define love, they can try to explain how they feel about it, but there's really not a definition for the feeling.

Can anyone prove love exists? I dunno. I can tell people I'm in love, my feelings are enough proof to myself that true love exists, however the person i'm talking to may not be convinced.

however all this has been stated before and we just keep going in circles with this :]

and titan- ...I got no reply ;]

[StDx]

what is love?
baby don't hurt me
don't hurt me
no more

[tonguegina]

But, even with that, you did not prove that a)love exists or b)that what you've felt is actually love...real and true love.

The question I am now posing is not 'What is love?', but rather 'Does love exist?' and if so, 'How do you know it's love?'. You may know that you have a certain feeling, but how do you know it's love? 50% of the people that got married last year thought it was love, and they were wrong.

[sim_flex_x]

A.) i wasn't trying to prove love exists, i was saying that i don't know that it's possible to do so.
B.) love is a feeling. When you're a little kid and your pet fish dies, you feel sad. you may not know that this feeling is "sadness" but you know how you feel, and it's real to you. When your parents surprise you with a new goldfish for your birthday, you feel happy. You may not know what the feeling is called, but you know how you feel and it's real to you. Likewise, when you meet someone and something happens to provoke a certain feeling inside of you, you feel "love", even if there wasn't a four letter combination to put a name to it, you know what you feel, and the feeling is real to you.

does love exist? I think so
how do you know its love? i don't really know how to answer that because that's the same type of question as "what is love?" Everyone's going to try to explain it they're own way and I really don't think there's a "right" answer.
if someone had a gun to my head and told me i had to tell them how i know i'm in love, i think the best answer i could give would be 'i just do'

they might think it's a shitty answer, but to me that's all there is to it. love isn't complex, it's a feeling, simple as that.

[Orgazmo]

Originally posted by Titan:
Does the action or event of being "in love" even exist at all? Or is it something that human beings have created in hopes (and dreams) of bettering their situation?

Your point, Mr. Gina, which was originally proposed by Titan 11 days ago, is just as he initially described it. We all seem to agree that it can't be defined...so how in the holy sexmonster could anyone prove that it exists? It'd be like me telling you to prove that jinjofucks exist...but not telling you (or even knowing myself) what a jinjofuck really is.

Of course, you could forget about my jinjofuck theory and simply read Titan's post on the subject...which uses religion in place of my precious, precious fucks. The choice is for you to make.

[Titan]

Well jinjofuck me sideways. Thanks for that.

"Alright kids, now we're going to work on animal sounds. What sound does a cow make? Billy?"

"Cow says MOO!"

"That's very good Billy, thank you. Now Clarisse, what sound does a goose make?"

"Umm... they say... honk! honk! Like my dad when he goes to work... only gooses don't say bad words."

"Uh... right... thanks Clarisse. Now let's see what else? Oh, Mark, what sound does a Titan make?"

"Mommy says Titans don't make sounds. They type on computers and just write stuff. Sometimes they write something that could very well be insightful but it gets ignored because it looks long so people don't read it and then they have a revelation later on which which just so happens to coincide very well with what he had previously stated, so they end up wasting their time shooting a dead dog in the jaw over and over and over."

"That's very good Mark. Remember to have your mom call me, I'd like to see about getting you into the accelerated class."

[ August 19, 2003, 12:53 AM: Message edited by: Titan ]

[silver and cold]

Haha...

Sorry, Fruit, I just wasnt paying very good attention.

[tonguegina]

Titan, I read it, but it was 10 days before my post, and what I was thinking doesn't sound the same when I explain my version to myself. I have trouble putting these types of things into words. I'm sorry if it was in any way similar to your thoughts...although mine did get responses.

I'm sorry. I've now reread your post a few times, and it still is not the same as what I'm thinking in my head. Either way, they both are interesting views and insights.

[Constance]

Love is just a word we use to label feelings we can't describe and say they are good. If we are to love, I suppose it'll just come to us. I suffer from hopeless romantic syndrome and well, I just keep my eyes and heart peeled for 'love'.