Secret Santa - Page 7 - Nubblies.net Forums

Orgazmo · 12-22-2008, 05:52 PM

Our first Santa-provided tracking number goes to Ironic Mustache. I'm not sure if this will give away identities or not with location...but Santas get what they want, and your Santa would like for you to have this:

843455910001505

Orgazmo · 12-22-2008, 05:54 PM

Blonde, your gift is en route. Though your Santa isn't sure of the exact delivery date, the 29th or 30th is the estimate.

Repugnant Abomination · 12-22-2008, 06:15 PM

Mine has just arrived.

Ugly Bastard · 12-22-2008, 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Repugnant Abomination

Mine has just arrived.

DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING!!!!!

Orgazmo · 12-22-2008, 06:19 PM

OMGPICTURESPLZ

Ironic Mustache · 12-22-2008, 06:28 PM

Yeah wtf?!?!?!? COME ON!

Repugnant Abomination · 12-22-2008, 06:32 PM

Hold on dammit I want to enjoy this!!

Fuck!!

asdjasdsajsdfs!

Pliedes · 12-22-2008, 06:33 PM

A Christmas Story, Part II.

- - - - - - -

[Our local skatepark, totally covered in snow.]

- - - - - - -

Snow has been piling up in the great Northwest. Lots of it.

"Worst I've seen in 20 years" the salty old man told me at the bar. He's right too. Lots of rain out here, but winter doesn't really exist- only the rainy season and the dry season. This year, though, the precipitation turned to snow- lots and lots of fucking snow.

"By the way," he asked young Pliedes- "did you really come into town like that?"

He nodded his head- "yup"- and asked the barkeep for another glass of beer. No PBR today for this brave soul, today he needed the strength of Guinness.

[But I'm getting ahead of myself...]

When we last left our fair hero, he was standing outside the post office, giving the finger to the one man who could save Christmas... Disgruntled, Pliedes went back to his car and put the gift on the drivers seat. "Fuck, what now" he thought. Noticing the snow that was still coming down, he decided it was best to stock up. One giant sack of potatoes and a handle of Old Crow later, Pliedes drove towards home. A difficult journey, yes, but like nothing that was to come.

That was Friday- its now Monday.

Cabin fever is beginning to set in. Pliedes wakes up, shivering, and goes over to the fireplace to warm himself. Usually he'd be chatting with his Aunt over coffee, their normal routine, but she was able to escape to Florida before the storms set in.... A venerable, though aging, woman- who prides herself on being the first woman in Washington to work below decks on the Ferry System, she's not your normal prissy gal, she's fucking tough as nails. Pliedes sighs, wishing she was here to recollect another memory of protests for the sixties.... its been 5 days since he took her to the airport, one of the last flights out of Seattle before the airport was shut down. It's been 3 days since he left the house...he thanks the gods for that bottle of Old Crow.

But today is different- he has to leave the house. That gift isn't going to deliver itself.

Pliedes bundles up for the weather, goes out and to warms up the car. "Fuck the Miata" he thinks, now wishing he had his big old pickup back in Indiana. He starts the engine on his Aunt's Toyota Highlander instead. All-wheel drive, decent tires, a traction-control system...this thing should do alright!

It didn't. Sure there's only a slight slope up the driveway, but add a foot of snow and layers of ice everywhere...well, it was impossible. "Now what?" he thinks. Hailing a ride from someone else was an option, but he hadn't seen any vehicles go past since that F350 dually this morning... "fuck fuck fuck" he thinks. "I'm gonna get so much shit from the guys on the board for this..."

Maybe it was the weight of peer pressure, maybe the spark of ingenuity- maybe even a christmas miracle! Or maybe it was just all the damn snow on the ground, but an idea dawned on him. He remembered seeing something out in the tool shed a few weeks prior, something primitive, yet timeless...a pair of cross country skis.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," he thought as he strapped the purpose-made boots into the long, slender skis. He slung his trusty camo pack over his shoulder- the precious gift nestled inside like a little baby jesus. If jesus was wrapped in newspaper and stuffed in a box...ok, maybe it was more like an aborted fetus in a dumpster, the point is that gift was getting to the post office even if it killed him. And it nearly did.

The roads were impassable for most cars, but the ones could left compacted snow tracks that were perfect for skiing. Pliedes had done some downhill skiing in the past, but he sucked at it, and this was totally different. His calves were already killing him and the sweat poured down his face...and this was still the road he lived on.

"Keep it up, there'll will be a downhill soon," he told himself. Two thoughts raced through his mind- one, I know understand all those old folk stories about walking to school ten miles in the snow, uphill both ways... but two, who the fuck skis UP the hills? Stupid fucking sport. Yet he trudged on.

Two hours later he finally reaches civilization- a little port town called Kingston. He desperately wants to take refuge at the little tavern by the docks, but business first. Some of roads in town had been cleared, so Pliedes abandoned the skis, slung 'em over his shoulder, and walked the rest of the way to the post office. Walking inside, he scanned with angry eyes for that false-santa that had fucked him over. Nowhere to be found. What he did find was a postal worker of a different caliber. She was short, younger, happy, and helpful- basically the opposite of that fat old fucker in every way. She made smalltalk about Christmas, asking me the usual array of questions about the packages...of course, knowing the contents of the box, he had to lie. I'd love to tell you what fair Pliedes tucked into that box (aborted fetus?! pipe bomb?!), but all will be revealed in due time.

Finally, finally,the gift was on its way.

"So you really ski'd all the way into town?" the old man remarked, laughing as he said it.

"And I still have to go all the way back..." Pliedes dejectedly replied.

They bitched a while more about the weather, drinking a whole array of delicious beers- Pliedes felt he had earned. First some Guinness, then Fat Tire Amber...that old man even bought me a Black Butte Porter, one of my favorite regional brews. Pliedes thought that was pretty awesome, until he got the bill...not cause it was expensive- their happy hour prices are phenomenal- but because of what the middle-aged barkeep said next, "Honey, you want me to give you a ride? I'm sorta going that way." Christmas Miracle #3!

The lady was a redneck, no doubt about it- lifted mid-80's chevy with 35's. Pliedes felt like he was back in Indiana. She may have said something about her kids and christmas, but Pliedes wasn't listening, he was sticking his head out the window like a senseless canine- loving every second of not being on those skis.

Unfortunately, she lived north, and Pliedes lived south. She didn't take him as far as he'd have liked, but it gave him a good head start.

A harrowing followed. If the way there was bad, the way back was worse. More uphills, plus conditions had worsened. He also may or may not have taken some hills that a more sober person would have avoided. Ouch. But Pliedes ignored the pain, focusing instead on the second package he now carried- the one from his secret santa!!!

- - - - - - -

Post-script: I took my camera along to document the entire journey. Unfortunately, these are the only two photos I snapped before the batteries died. Don't worry, I recharged them once I was home... Part III is next- "the opening".

Ironic Mustache · 12-22-2008, 06:50 PM

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! There's too much awesome happening right now!!!

Orgazmo · 12-22-2008, 07:03 PM

I went and took a shower expecting reveal posts from both Pliedes & Repug.

Now I'm back...and there's nothing here.

FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Repugnant Abomination · 12-22-2008, 07:04 PM

All right, the following is my photo documentation:

Repugnant Abomination · 12-22-2008, 07:06 PM

ninjaface · 12-22-2008, 07:06 PM

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ugly Bastard · 12-22-2008, 07:06 PM

Oh you!

Repugnant Abomination · 12-22-2008, 07:07 PM

And then this catastrophe happened...

My fucking camera broke! It will only take these fucked up pictures now. Goddammit. Epic failure.

Anyway, I got some matches with naked ladies on them, and a dildo that I can strap to my head.

Too bad my SS didn't send me a new digital camera.

Orgazmo · 12-22-2008, 07:08 PM

NO. STOP. FIX IT.

ninjaface · 12-22-2008, 07:09 PM

YOU BROKE THE CAMERA WITH YOUR STINK! DRAW A PICTURE OF IT AT LEAST. SHIT

Repugnant Abomination · 12-22-2008, 07:11 PM

The camera is officially dead

It's really old though, so I guess it was time. But damn! What horrible timing!

Thank you to my SS though, whoever you are.

<3

Orgazmo · 12-22-2008, 07:11 PM

Find a way, you motherfucker. I want to see the entire gift!

Mr. Blonde · 12-22-2008, 07:12 PM

HAHAHHAHAHAHAH

Mr. Blonde · 12-22-2008, 07:12 PM

And to think I thought this was a gay idea when Repug introduced it. Well done, sir.

Pliedes · 12-22-2008, 07:13 PM

A dildo for you head?!?!?!?

Call a friend, say "will you take a picture of me with a dildo on my head"- and they'll run over as fast as humanly possible.

BigDongedHoe · 12-22-2008, 07:15 PM

We must see the aforementioned dildo head.

Orgazmo · 12-22-2008, 07:16 PM

Show dildo head plz.

Repugnant Abomination · 12-22-2008, 07:19 PM

Very well, sirs! Later tonight when I am with the lady I shall use her camera to capture the rest of the gift.

View Poll Results: Should we have a Nubblies secret Santa?
Yes, that's an awesome idea!	8	44.44%
No, stop being gay, Repug.	10	55.56%
Voters: 18. You may not vote on this poll

12-22-2008, 06:28 PM	#156 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	Yeah wtf?!?!?!? COME ON!
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

12-22-2008, 06:33 PM	#158 (permalink)
Pliedes Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Puget Sound Posts: 4,594 Internets: 1608	A Christmas Story, Part II. - - - - - - - [Our local skatepark, totally covered in snow.] - - - - - - - Snow has been piling up in the great Northwest. Lots of it. "Worst I've seen in 20 years" the salty old man told me at the bar. He's right too. Lots of rain out here, but winter doesn't really exist- only the rainy season and the dry season. This year, though, the precipitation turned to snow- lots and lots of fucking snow. "By the way," he asked young Pliedes- "did you really come into town like that?" He nodded his head- "yup"- and asked the barkeep for another glass of beer. No PBR today for this brave soul, today he needed the strength of Guinness. [But I'm getting ahead of myself...] When we last left our fair hero, he was standing outside the post office, giving the finger to the one man who could save Christmas... Disgruntled, Pliedes went back to his car and put the gift on the drivers seat. "Fuck, what now" he thought. Noticing the snow that was still coming down, he decided it was best to stock up. One giant sack of potatoes and a handle of Old Crow later, Pliedes drove towards home. A difficult journey, yes, but like nothing that was to come. That was Friday- its now Monday. Cabin fever is beginning to set in. Pliedes wakes up, shivering, and goes over to the fireplace to warm himself. Usually he'd be chatting with his Aunt over coffee, their normal routine, but she was able to escape to Florida before the storms set in.... A venerable, though aging, woman- who prides herself on being the first woman in Washington to work below decks on the Ferry System, she's not your normal prissy gal, she's fucking tough as nails. Pliedes sighs, wishing she was here to recollect another memory of protests for the sixties.... its been 5 days since he took her to the airport, one of the last flights out of Seattle before the airport was shut down. It's been 3 days since he left the house...he thanks the gods for that bottle of Old Crow. But today is different- he has to leave the house. That gift isn't going to deliver itself. Pliedes bundles up for the weather, goes out and to warms up the car. "Fuck the Miata" he thinks, now wishing he had his big old pickup back in Indiana. He starts the engine on his Aunt's Toyota Highlander instead. All-wheel drive, decent tires, a traction-control system...this thing should do alright! It didn't. Sure there's only a slight slope up the driveway, but add a foot of snow and layers of ice everywhere...well, it was impossible. "Now what?" he thinks. Hailing a ride from someone else was an option, but he hadn't seen any vehicles go past since that F350 dually this morning... "fuck fuck fuck" he thinks. "I'm gonna get so much shit from the guys on the board for this..." Maybe it was the weight of peer pressure, maybe the spark of ingenuity- maybe even a christmas miracle! Or maybe it was just all the damn snow on the ground, but an idea dawned on him. He remembered seeing something out in the tool shed a few weeks prior, something primitive, yet timeless...a pair of cross country skis. "I can't believe I'm doing this," he thought as he strapped the purpose-made boots into the long, slender skis. He slung his trusty camo pack over his shoulder- the precious gift nestled inside like a little baby jesus. If jesus was wrapped in newspaper and stuffed in a box...ok, maybe it was more like an aborted fetus in a dumpster, the point is that gift was getting to the post office even if it killed him. And it nearly did. The roads were impassable for most cars, but the ones could left compacted snow tracks that were perfect for skiing. Pliedes had done some downhill skiing in the past, but he sucked at it, and this was totally different. His calves were already killing him and the sweat poured down his face...and this was still the road he lived on. "Keep it up, there'll will be a downhill soon," he told himself. Two thoughts raced through his mind- one, I know understand all those old folk stories about walking to school ten miles in the snow, uphill both ways... but two, who the fuck skis UP the hills? Stupid fucking sport. Yet he trudged on. Two hours later he finally reaches civilization- a little port town called Kingston. He desperately wants to take refuge at the little tavern by the docks, but business first. Some of roads in town had been cleared, so Pliedes abandoned the skis, slung 'em over his shoulder, and walked the rest of the way to the post office. Walking inside, he scanned with angry eyes for that false-santa that had fucked him over. Nowhere to be found. What he did find was a postal worker of a different caliber. She was short, younger, happy, and helpful- basically the opposite of that fat old fucker in every way. She made smalltalk about Christmas, asking me the usual array of questions about the packages...of course, knowing the contents of the box, he had to lie. I'd love to tell you what fair Pliedes tucked into that box (aborted fetus?! pipe bomb?!), but all will be revealed in due time. Finally, finally,the gift was on its way. "So you really ski'd all the way into town?" the old man remarked, laughing as he said it. "And I still have to go all the way back..." Pliedes dejectedly replied. They bitched a while more about the weather, drinking a whole array of delicious beers- Pliedes felt he had earned. First some Guinness, then Fat Tire Amber...that old man even bought me a Black Butte Porter, one of my favorite regional brews. Pliedes thought that was pretty awesome, until he got the bill...not cause it was expensive- their happy hour prices are phenomenal- but because of what the middle-aged barkeep said next, "Honey, you want me to give you a ride? I'm sorta going that way." Christmas Miracle #3! The lady was a redneck, no doubt about it- lifted mid-80's chevy with 35's. Pliedes felt like he was back in Indiana. She may have said something about her kids and christmas, but Pliedes wasn't listening, he was sticking his head out the window like a senseless canine- loving every second of not being on those skis. Unfortunately, she lived north, and Pliedes lived south. She didn't take him as far as he'd have liked, but it gave him a good head start. A harrowing followed. If the way there was bad, the way back was worse. More uphills, plus conditions had worsened. He also may or may not have taken some hills that a more sober person would have avoided. Ouch. But Pliedes ignored the pain, focusing instead on the second package he now carried- the one from his secret santa!!! - - - - - - - Post-script: I took my camera along to document the entire journey. Unfortunately, these are the only two photos I snapped before the batteries died. Don't worry, I recharged them once I was home... Part III is next- "the opening".
	Last edited by Pliedes; 12-22-2008 at 06:34 PM.

12-22-2008, 06:50 PM	#159 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! There's too much awesome happening right now!!!
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

12-22-2008, 07:04 PM	#161 (permalink)
Repugnant Abomination Almost there... Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,979 Internets: 161638	All right, the following is my photo documentation:
	Last edited by Repugnant Abomination; 12-22-2008 at 07:15 PM.

12-22-2008, 05:52 PM	#151 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,699 Internets: 305662	Our first Santa-provided tracking number goes to Ironic Mustache. I'm not sure if this will give away identities or not with location...but Santas get what they want, and your Santa would like for you to have this: 843455910001505

12-22-2008, 05:54 PM	#152 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,699 Internets: 305662	Blonde, your gift is en route. Though your Santa isn't sure of the exact delivery date, the 29th or 30th is the estimate.

12-22-2008, 06:15 PM	#153 (permalink)
Repugnant Abomination Almost there... Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,979 Internets: 161638	Mine has just arrived.

12-22-2008, 06:19 PM	#155 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,699 Internets: 305662	OMGPICTURESPLZ

12-22-2008, 06:32 PM	#157 (permalink)
Repugnant Abomination Almost there... Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,979 Internets: 161638	Hold on dammit I want to enjoy this!! Fuck!! asdjasdsajsdfs!

12-22-2008, 07:03 PM	#160 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,699 Internets: 305662	I went and took a shower expecting reveal posts from both Pliedes & Repug. Now I'm back...and there's nothing here. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

12-22-2008, 07:06 PM	#162 (permalink)
Repugnant Abomination Almost there... Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,979 Internets: 161638

12-22-2008, 07:06 PM	#163 (permalink)
ninjaface Level 20 Holothetan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Space Posts: 5,245 Internets: 210144	GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

12-22-2008, 07:06 PM	#164 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	Oh you!

12-22-2008, 07:07 PM	#165 (permalink)
Repugnant Abomination Almost there... Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,979 Internets: 161638	And then this catastrophe happened... My fucking camera broke! It will only take these fucked up pictures now. Goddammit. Epic failure. Anyway, I got some matches with naked ladies on them, and a dildo that I can strap to my head. Too bad my SS didn't send me a new digital camera.

12-22-2008, 07:12 PM	#170 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 278288	HAHAHHAHAHAHAH
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

12-22-2008, 07:08 PM	#166 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,699 Internets: 305662	NO. STOP. FIX IT.

12-22-2008, 07:09 PM	#167 (permalink)
ninjaface Level 20 Holothetan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Space Posts: 5,245 Internets: 210144	YOU BROKE THE CAMERA WITH YOUR STINK! DRAW A PICTURE OF IT AT LEAST. SHIT

12-22-2008, 07:11 PM	#168 (permalink)
Repugnant Abomination Almost there... Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,979 Internets: 161638	The camera is officially dead It's really old though, so I guess it was time. But damn! What horrible timing! Thank you to my SS though, whoever you are. <3

12-22-2008, 07:11 PM	#169 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,699 Internets: 305662	Find a way, you motherfucker. I want to see the entire gift!

12-22-2008, 07:12 PM	#171 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 278288	And to think I thought this was a gay idea when Repug introduced it. Well done, sir.
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

12-22-2008, 07:13 PM	#172 (permalink)
Pliedes Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Puget Sound Posts: 4,594 Internets: 1608	A dildo for you head?!?!?!? Call a friend, say "will you take a picture of me with a dildo on my head"- and they'll run over as fast as humanly possible.

12-22-2008, 07:15 PM	#173 (permalink)
BigDongedHoe Sex Kitten Milf fuuucck Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 3,704 Internets: 55974	We must see the aforementioned dildo head.
	There's life and then there is Cubs baseball, it's a chore to seperate the two.

12-22-2008, 07:16 PM	#174 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,699 Internets: 305662	Show dildo head plz.

12-22-2008, 07:19 PM	#175 (permalink)
Repugnant Abomination Almost there... Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,979 Internets: 161638	Very well, sirs! Later tonight when I am with the lady I shall use her camera to capture the rest of the gift.

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