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Unread 04-25-2005, 11:06 AM   #1 (permalink)
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The question: How many 8 year-olds could you take on at once?

The specifics:

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
- The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

Well, discuss.

[ April 25, 2005, 11:31 AM: Message edited by: Repugnant Abomination ]
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Unread 04-25-2005, 11:17 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I think you should increase the age. 5 really isn't a challenge at all. I'm pretty sure I could take on any number of 5 year olds you throw at me. Yah they'll have the training, but they'll forget it by the next day. It'd be easy as cake.

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Unread 04-25-2005, 11:28 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I dont know dude. If you're surrounded, and there's just thousands of them rushing at you you can only hit so many at a time. They would swarm you, plain and simple. they'd latch onto your legs, grab your arms, jump on your back. I think eventually you would get taken down and dog piled on. I'm talking an endless ammount of 5 year olds until you get overwhelmed.

[ April 25, 2005, 09:28 AM: Message edited by: Repugnant Abomination ]
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Unread 04-25-2005, 11:33 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Well when you said "how many" i didn't expect you to be insinuating THOUSANDS of these little fuckers. I don't know, i don't hang around 5 year olds often but i think i could at least take out 20 or 30 at a time.

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Unread 04-25-2005, 11:38 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I'm thinking I could smash a good 100 of the little shits before I was over run.
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Unread 04-25-2005, 11:42 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Room: Huge

If I Have a big enough room, I could always evade them, swing around, and attack them head on (which is in your favor).

I think I could take 500, once you get into the swing of things, punching them in the nose, or kicking them in the temple will become easy, 1 hit kills.

Edit: I could also employ the following strategies:

1) Throwing them at each other.

2) Kicking them in the ribcage.

3) Taking one by the leggs and swinging.

4) Diving into a pile, with arms spread, effectively knocking a good 5-6 down. Then jump on them.

5) Jump kicks to the head.

[ April 25, 2005, 09:45 AM: Message edited by: DJ FC ]
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Unread 04-25-2005, 11:51 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Well if you two are claiming that many then I could definitely take out at least 700, depending on how pissed off the little fuckers make me.

Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing.

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Unread 04-25-2005, 11:53 AM   #8 (permalink)
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If you claim 700, then I'll take 1000.
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Unread 04-25-2005, 11:54 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I CLAIM A HUNDRED MILLION INFINITY FOREVER PERIOD!

Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing.

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Unread 04-25-2005, 12:07 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Times 2
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Unread 04-25-2005, 12:43 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I claim a grimpchillion.

A grimpchillion is the highest number ever. Higher than infinity.

Fire melts at a grimpchillion degrees.

EDIT: I started a thread like this about 8 inch tall cloned UFC fighters that you keep in cages and fight against each other to the death. Then the idea was brought up that they'd most likely hate you and eventually escape while plotting your demise. In my scenario, it would be possible for them to get weapons and such and possible attack you in your sleep.

[ April 25, 2005, 10:44 AM: Message edited by: Ironic Mustache ]

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Unread 04-25-2005, 01:00 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Dude you couldn't handle more then a dozen.
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Unread 04-25-2005, 01:00 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Impossible, you couldn't even take 500. By the time anyone got to 100 they'd be so tired they'd collapse. Then again, the ingrained primordial pleasure of beating the shit out of 5 year olds would probably propel anyone to sum up more energy than usually possible. I could take 101 5year olds.

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Unread 04-25-2005, 01:14 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Repugnant Abomination:
Dude you couldn't handle more then a dozen.
That's not true. I have prvious 5 year old fighting training.

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Unread 04-25-2005, 01:22 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Yea, I agree with Blonde. If this was like 8 or 9 year olds, I'd have a decision on my hands; but 5 year olds? Shit. Throw a few hundred of them at me. They're not going to knock me unconscious. As long as I can keep up the energy to keep killing them before getting too fatigued, I don't see why I couldn't take out a thousand of them.

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Unread 04-25-2005, 01:26 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Ok ok fine, you bastards. Let's make it 8 year olds.
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Unread 04-25-2005, 01:28 PM   #17 (permalink)
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as many as i could beat up for twenty minutes. after that, i would be too tired to fight, like that video where the cat gets eaten by all those rats.

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Unread 04-25-2005, 01:29 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Nice analogy.
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Unread 04-25-2005, 02:21 PM   #19 (permalink)
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where can i find this intriguing video?

#YOLO
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Unread 04-25-2005, 02:24 PM   #20 (permalink)
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alright in a basketball court, I could take 63 for sure.

...to abuse the testicles of the establishment.
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Unread 04-25-2005, 03:12 PM   #21 (permalink)
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The main thing I'm worries about are the fallen soldiers. Are the bodies removed from the facility after they've been destroyed? If not, I'd surely eventually trip over them...throwing myself to the ground and leaving myself wide open to attack.

Then again, I have the endurance of a fruit fly (a fruit fly with no endurance)...so I'd probably tire before the littering of bodies even became an issue.

Either way, I'd just pray that this didn't show up:

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Unread 04-25-2005, 03:36 PM   #22 (permalink)
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her fat has fat. thats gross.

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Unread 04-25-2005, 03:42 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Her body looks like the Michelin tire mascot.

especially her arm.

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Unread 04-25-2005, 04:08 PM   #24 (permalink)
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The caretaker of that child should be shot. Fucking... drug out to the street, and shot. I'm dead serious.

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Unread 04-25-2005, 04:11 PM   #25 (permalink)
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How many 8-year olds could you fuck at once?

#YOLO
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