"What Do You Do?" - Nubblies.net Forums

Ugly Bastard · 01-13-2009, 02:16 AM

I hate when people ask me this question. Well, not always I suppose. When I can tell the intent of their tone makes the question more synonymous with, "what have you been up to lately?" or "what are some things that have been occupying your time?" it strikes me as a standard nicety that is all good and well.

However, sometimes when people ask "what do you do?" I sense that whatever I answer will serve as a summary in that person's mind of who I am as a person. Like I'm always worried if I say "poker player" that they'll somehow subconsciously equate my existence on this Earth with someone who plays a game of cards and nothing more. I trust some of you can see how frustratingly small-minded that is and those of you who can't are probably the same dickwads asking me this question.

I remember my Grandma said to me recently that she, "always thought I should have been a writer." It's like...;s adfpoifadbpoias. A.) I'm 24, what's to say I couldn't "become a writer", but to address the frustration more appropriately B.) it seems to convey some subconscious belief of the speaker that I am only one thing, a "poker player", and nothing more. This coming from my own Grandmother, no less! It's like Jesus, people... did it ever occur to you that there's more to the guy who puts envelops in a box outside your door every day than "mailman".

Sorry, this got kind of rantish. I just don't like the free pass to be a small-minded twerp that some people seem to think accompanies a job title.

More to the point of why I started this thread: I need you guys' help.

When people ask me "what do you do?" in a manner where I can tell they're about to summarize my existence on this planet to a mere rudimentary task based on my answer, I want to respond with something to "snap them out of it", so to speak.

A couple somewhat cliche but plausible answers I've come up with would be to respond "porn star" or "drug mule". I want to be careful not to come across as a dick, so obviously it will be important to know the audience. Maybe I could say, along with a laugh, something like, "I take people's money!"

I dunno... if anyone else is feeling the vibe I'm trying to convey in this post, lemme know if you have any suggestions for me.

Mr. Blonde · 01-13-2009, 02:19 AM

Unfortunately, it seems to be just a human condition. We tend to be defined on what we spend most of our time doing, which, for most of us, most of our time spent "doing" any one thing is spent 40+ hrs a week at our job. The rest is sleep, leisure, or for a very few dedicated others, spent doing other work. One of the main reasons why i'm as frustrated as I am with where I am right now, as you well know.

Just make up shit. Fuck 'em.

"Yeah, i'm a professional shark-wrestler."

DJ FC · 01-13-2009, 02:44 AM

Playboy.

THEINCREDIBLEdork · 01-13-2009, 02:45 AM

I do this all the time. Then if it they don't have a job or they don't do anything that sounds like an exciting job to me I feel like an asshole for asking almost a second later even though I don't really care what they do in the first place. I don't want them to think I'm judging them so then I end up saying something that makes me even feel like more of an asshole.

But what the fuck can you say to a person you just met? Questions like those just pop out when you first meet someone.

When I go to like the dentist or a haircut lady where they feel they have to make small talk I just make stuff up to these sorts of questions. Like what are you doing for summer vacation? Oh, I'm going to travel Europe by bicycle with a couple of friends. (not!)

Ugly Bastard · 01-13-2009, 03:15 AM

Yea I can't stand that empty chit-chat you're referring to, ID. One thing, to kind of get off the beaten path a little, that I've noticed works well with women: not talking about that BS. I actually make it a point not to talk about any of that mindless day-to-day crap when approaching a girl, and instead just ask for her opinion on if it's true that people who wear polka-dots are smarter than those who don't (or whatever).

f3lix · 01-13-2009, 03:54 AM

When playing poker, I answer "Student." When at school, I answer "Play poker." It intrigues both crowds.

DJ FC · 01-13-2009, 04:27 AM

I also do not like the "What do you do?" question, and I equally dislike "Where are you from?"

Ugly Bastard · 01-13-2009, 05:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by George W. Bush

"Where are you from?"

Yes!! 'Cause it always requires gulping and saying, "umm... Indiana."

Haha... I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being from Indiana. I just don't think the midwest is always viewed in particularly lofty terms in most people's minds who aren't from there.

Actually how I usually answer that question is, "northern Indiana, outside of Chicago." If you can anchor their minds to Chicago, usually they don't think too poorly of things.

Ugly Bastard · 01-13-2009, 05:24 AM

Oooh a good answer to the "what do you do?" question, especially if a girl is the one asking you: "It's confidential".

Can kind of transition that into flirting with them and shit, you know, "I'd tell you, but I don't think we know each other well enough yet."

DJ FC · 01-13-2009, 05:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ugly Bastard

Yes!! 'Cause it always requires gulping and saying, "umm... Indiana."

Haha... I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being from Indiana. I just don't think the midwest is always viewed in particularly lofty terms in most people's minds who aren't from there.

Actually how I usually answer that question is, "northern Indiana, outside of Chicago." If you can anchor their minds to Chicago, usually they don't think too poorly of things.

I usually say Chicago anyways. I figure if I lived there for a year, still have keys to my old flat and can stay there whenever I wish, and I know more people there than in Indiana then I'm free to say I'm from Chicago.

But even then, people judge you being from the midwest and it's not warrented.

DDTempest · 01-13-2009, 06:53 AM

First, I don't see why you care ... anyone that asks "what do you do?" outside of you mentioning work, is probably not that interesting of a person anyways. Sometimes I just wink or say "wouldn't you like to know" and walk away or something along the lines of "international man of mystery" or "I work with retards ... doing ____."

For example:

So DDTempest, what do you do?
I work with retards, at Walgreens.

So Ugly Bastard, what do you do?
I work with retards, playing poker.

Its also great for testing the waters to see if they are easily offended.

Pro tip: People who work with retards often refer to them as 'tards, but people who are related to retards often refer to them as mentally challenged. If they are a child, they are "special needs."

I have been called out a few times for not asking what a girl does for a living, I simply point out "Well I figured I would just try to enjoy the moment because if I don't ever see you again, it won't really matter what you do." This shows them that you don't really give a shit, and apparently girls like that, if they really do give a shit then they are the type that feels what they do defines them and are probably not interesting people anyways.

In the end I am much more interested in talking to someone that can talk about nothing at all. Weather, my job, and my height are not interesting topics of discussion for me.

TwoBlackEyes · 01-13-2009, 09:52 AM

Tell them you're a bank teller.

Always tell women you work in finance

THEINCREDIBLEdork · 01-13-2009, 10:10 AM

I didn't know this was about girls. Nevermind, I never do that to chicks I just immediately pull out the mane.

Mr. Blonde · 01-13-2009, 10:13 AM

If this is about girls, in my experience girls really don't give a shit what you do unless A. they're looking for a serious mate in which case they can fuck off anyways, but even then they usually aren't concerned until they really start to like you or B. If they're a dumb slut who wants to brag to their friends what this new guy they've been hanging out with does, which is immature as shit. Now that I think about it, this questions really doesn't come up much out here.

DJ FC · 01-13-2009, 10:20 AM

Or C) Regardless of their intentions for you, chicks dig guys with money.

TwoBlackEyes · 01-13-2009, 10:28 AM

Aaaaaand that reference was totally lost on you guys, wasn't it?

Philistines....

THEINCREDIBLEdork · 01-13-2009, 10:44 AM

Iam a bohemian. but what the hell are you talking about? explain it in words i can understand.

DJ FC · 01-13-2009, 10:47 AM

Tits please.

tonguegina · 01-13-2009, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TwoBlackEyes

Tell them you're a bank teller.

Always tell women you work in finance

Quote:

Originally Posted by TwoBlackEyes

Aaaaaand that reference was totally lost on you guys, wasn't it?

I got it. The Office, when Michael and Dwight go to New York to hang out with Ryan. Good work.

I hate this situation too, though. Especially for the last few months. I usually just start listing off shit that I have recently done. I like the idea of "Drug Mule", though. I may need to try that one.

Orgazmo · 01-13-2009, 11:58 AM

Inventor. I'm an inventor.

hfam95 · 01-13-2009, 12:07 PM

I just tell them and downplay it. I don't know why, but what usually follows is some mundane bullshit about their important dairy equipment sales job.

Repugnant Abomination · 01-13-2009, 01:21 PM

I get what you're saying UB, but there's nothing you can do about it, other than to just mess with people, as everyone has already suggested.

It's like you said - people like to be able to label you as one thing, and then judge you based on what that one thing is. Saying you're a poker player has both positive and negative connotations, and I think you just need to live with them. Until you get to know someone on a more intimate level these kind of snap judgments are hard to avoid. I think it's because people want to rate each other, form a hierarchy, and see where they rank. It's superficial. I mean think just think about the rhetoric of appearance, and how we judge people on it. Everything from body weight to hair style to clothing. It's deep seeded. Studies have shown that on average tall people make more than short people. Why? Because people associate height with confidence and power.

I think a better question people should ask when first meeting is "what would you like to be doing if you could, and how are you planning to get there?"

What someone wants to do with their life is more telling than what they are doing with it, at least at our age. Right now we're all in the process of trying to get somewhere, but lacking in some areas which prevents us from being there.

Ironic Mustache · 01-13-2009, 03:39 PM

As of tomorrow when people ask me, I'll have to tell them I'm unemployed. I really doubt the view they'll have of me is that of an indepentantly wealthy young upstanding citizen who simply doesn't have to work. I'd say I'll be viewed much more often as someone who either can't get, or can't hold a job. I'd much rather be seen as a poker player.

vaga1220 * · 01-14-2009, 06:21 AM

you can crash at my place, Ironic. It's got a fire place that you can burn evidence in.

As for the question I always tell people that I'm a semi pro mixed martial artiest. usually they're like "Wut!?"

Ironic Mustache · 01-14-2009, 10:57 AM

If you didn't live in Utah I might take you up on that.

01-13-2009, 02:16 AM	#1 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	"What Do You Do?" I hate when people ask me this question. Well, not always I suppose. When I can tell the intent of their tone makes the question more synonymous with, "what have you been up to lately?" or "what are some things that have been occupying your time?" it strikes me as a standard nicety that is all good and well. However, sometimes when people ask "what do you do?" I sense that whatever I answer will serve as a summary in that person's mind of who I am as a person. Like I'm always worried if I say "poker player" that they'll somehow subconsciously equate my existence on this Earth with someone who plays a game of cards and nothing more. I trust some of you can see how frustratingly small-minded that is and those of you who can't are probably the same dickwads asking me this question. I remember my Grandma said to me recently that she, "always thought I should have been a writer." It's like...;s adfpoifadbpoias. A.) I'm 24, what's to say I couldn't "become a writer", but to address the frustration more appropriately B.) it seems to convey some subconscious belief of the speaker that I am only one thing, a "poker player", and nothing more. This coming from my own Grandmother, no less! It's like Jesus, people... did it ever occur to you that there's more to the guy who puts envelops in a box outside your door every day than "mailman". Sorry, this got kind of rantish. I just don't like the free pass to be a small-minded twerp that some people seem to think accompanies a job title. More to the point of why I started this thread: I need you guys' help. When people ask me "what do you do?" in a manner where I can tell they're about to summarize my existence on this planet to a mere rudimentary task based on my answer, I want to respond with something to "snap them out of it", so to speak. A couple somewhat cliche but plausible answers I've come up with would be to respond "porn star" or "drug mule". I want to be careful not to come across as a dick, so obviously it will be important to know the audience. Maybe I could say, along with a laugh, something like, "I take people's money!" I dunno... if anyone else is feeling the vibe I'm trying to convey in this post, lemme know if you have any suggestions for me.

01-13-2009, 02:19 AM	#2 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 284106	Unfortunately, it seems to be just a human condition. We tend to be defined on what we spend most of our time doing, which, for most of us, most of our time spent "doing" any one thing is spent 40+ hrs a week at our job. The rest is sleep, leisure, or for a very few dedicated others, spent doing other work. One of the main reasons why i'm as frustrated as I am with where I am right now, as you well know. Just make up shit. Fuck 'em. "Yeah, i'm a professional shark-wrestler."
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

01-13-2009, 02:44 AM	#3 (permalink)
DJ FC MURICAN Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Virginia Posts: 5,136 Internets: 253094	Playboy.
	The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them.

01-13-2009, 02:45 AM	#4 (permalink)
THEINCREDIBLEdork Emperor Meow Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 9,350 Internets: 290966	I do this all the time. Then if it they don't have a job or they don't do anything that sounds like an exciting job to me I feel like an asshole for asking almost a second later even though I don't really care what they do in the first place. I don't want them to think I'm judging them so then I end up saying something that makes me even feel like more of an asshole. But what the fuck can you say to a person you just met? Questions like those just pop out when you first meet someone. When I go to like the dentist or a haircut lady where they feel they have to make small talk I just make stuff up to these sorts of questions. Like what are you doing for summer vacation? Oh, I'm going to travel Europe by bicycle with a couple of friends. (not!)
	#YOLO

01-13-2009, 04:27 AM	#7 (permalink)
DJ FC MURICAN Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Virginia Posts: 5,136 Internets: 253094	I also do not like the "What do you do?" question, and I equally dislike "Where are you from?"
	The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them.

01-13-2009, 03:15 AM	#5 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	Yea I can't stand that empty chit-chat you're referring to, ID. One thing, to kind of get off the beaten path a little, that I've noticed works well with women: not talking about that BS. I actually make it a point not to talk about any of that mindless day-to-day crap when approaching a girl, and instead just ask for her opinion on if it's true that people who wear polka-dots are smarter than those who don't (or whatever).

01-13-2009, 03:54 AM	#6 (permalink)
f3lix Gangnam Style Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: DH's Massage Parlor Posts: 6,383 Internets: 213510	When playing poker, I answer "Student." When at school, I answer "Play poker." It intrigues both crowds.

01-13-2009, 05:24 AM	#9 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	Oooh a good answer to the "what do you do?" question, especially if a girl is the one asking you: "It's confidential". Can kind of transition that into flirting with them and shit, you know, "I'd tell you, but I don't think we know each other well enough yet."

01-13-2009, 06:53 AM	#11 (permalink)
DDTempest Ahoy Fuckbag Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: In a pineapple under the sea Posts: 3,540 Internets: 187030	First, I don't see why you care ... anyone that asks "what do you do?" outside of you mentioning work, is probably not that interesting of a person anyways. Sometimes I just wink or say "wouldn't you like to know" and walk away or something along the lines of "international man of mystery" or "I work with retards ... doing ____." For example: So DDTempest, what do you do? I work with retards, at Walgreens. So Ugly Bastard, what do you do? I work with retards, playing poker. Its also great for testing the waters to see if they are easily offended. Pro tip: People who work with retards often refer to them as 'tards, but people who are related to retards often refer to them as mentally challenged. If they are a child, they are "special needs." I have been called out a few times for not asking what a girl does for a living, I simply point out "Well I figured I would just try to enjoy the moment because if I don't ever see you again, it won't really matter what you do." This shows them that you don't really give a shit, and apparently girls like that, if they really do give a shit then they are the type that feels what they do defines them and are probably not interesting people anyways. In the end I am much more interested in talking to someone that can talk about nothing at all. Weather, my job, and my height are not interesting topics of discussion for me.

01-13-2009, 09:52 AM	#12 (permalink)
TwoBlackEyes Been told twice Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 312 Internets: 1299	Tell them you're a bank teller. Always tell women you work in finance

01-13-2009, 10:10 AM	#13 (permalink)
THEINCREDIBLEdork Emperor Meow Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 9,350 Internets: 290966	I didn't know this was about girls. Nevermind, I never do that to chicks I just immediately pull out the mane.
	#YOLO

01-13-2009, 10:13 AM	#14 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 284106	If this is about girls, in my experience girls really don't give a shit what you do unless A. they're looking for a serious mate in which case they can fuck off anyways, but even then they usually aren't concerned until they really start to like you or B. If they're a dumb slut who wants to brag to their friends what this new guy they've been hanging out with does, which is immature as shit. Now that I think about it, this questions really doesn't come up much out here.
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

01-13-2009, 10:20 AM	#15 (permalink)
DJ FC MURICAN Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Virginia Posts: 5,136 Internets: 253094	Or C) Regardless of their intentions for you, chicks dig guys with money.
	The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them.

01-13-2009, 10:28 AM	#16 (permalink)
TwoBlackEyes Been told twice Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 312 Internets: 1299	Aaaaaand that reference was totally lost on you guys, wasn't it? Philistines....

01-13-2009, 10:44 AM	#17 (permalink)
THEINCREDIBLEdork Emperor Meow Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 9,350 Internets: 290966	Iam a bohemian. but what the hell are you talking about? explain it in words i can understand.
	#YOLO

01-14-2009, 10:57 AM	#25 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	If you didn't live in Utah I might take you up on that.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

01-13-2009, 10:47 AM	#18 (permalink)
DJ FC MURICAN Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Virginia Posts: 5,136 Internets: 253094	Tits please.
	The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them.

01-13-2009, 11:58 AM	#20 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,725 Internets: 311447	Inventor. I'm an inventor.

01-13-2009, 12:07 PM	#21 (permalink)
hfam95 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: VA Posts: 207 Internets: 1129	I just tell them and downplay it. I don't know why, but what usually follows is some mundane bullshit about their important dairy equipment sales job.

01-13-2009, 01:21 PM	#22 (permalink)
Repugnant Abomination Almost there... Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,979 Internets: 164547	I get what you're saying UB, but there's nothing you can do about it, other than to just mess with people, as everyone has already suggested. It's like you said - people like to be able to label you as one thing, and then judge you based on what that one thing is. Saying you're a poker player has both positive and negative connotations, and I think you just need to live with them. Until you get to know someone on a more intimate level these kind of snap judgments are hard to avoid. I think it's because people want to rate each other, form a hierarchy, and see where they rank. It's superficial. I mean think just think about the rhetoric of appearance, and how we judge people on it. Everything from body weight to hair style to clothing. It's deep seeded. Studies have shown that on average tall people make more than short people. Why? Because people associate height with confidence and power. I think a better question people should ask when first meeting is "what would you like to be doing if you could, and how are you planning to get there?" What someone wants to do with their life is more telling than what they are doing with it, at least at our age. Right now we're all in the process of trying to get somewhere, but lacking in some areas which prevents us from being there.
	Last edited by Repugnant Abomination; 01-13-2009 at 01:22 PM.

01-13-2009, 03:39 PM	#23 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	As of tomorrow when people ask me, I'll have to tell them I'm unemployed. I really doubt the view they'll have of me is that of an indepentantly wealthy young upstanding citizen who simply doesn't have to work. I'd say I'll be viewed much more often as someone who either can't get, or can't hold a job. I'd much rather be seen as a poker player.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

01-14-2009, 06:21 AM	#24 (permalink)
vaga1220 * *Dislikes ham Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: HELL 666 Posts: 1,518 Internets: 60790	you can crash at my place, Ironic. It's got a fire place that you can burn evidence in. As for the question I always tell people that I'm a semi pro mixed martial artiest. usually they're like "Wut!?"
	Putting the sensual in non-consensual.

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