Secret Santa - Page 16 - Nubblies.net Forums

Orgazmo · 01-13-2009, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Blonde

curbed*

Not trying to be a dick, but don't blame it on the gift, that's shitty and ungrateful. You got more presents than like all of us combined for regular xmas (yes i'm jealous), and don't have access to anybody with a camera? Your CELL PHONE doesn't have a camera?

I read "CELL PHONE" in the voice of a fat, black woman.

Mr. Blonde · 01-13-2009, 10:00 PM

You've unmasked me!

Ugly Bastard · 01-13-2009, 10:21 PM

... and you want to host a camping trip.

BigDongedHoe · 01-13-2009, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ugly Bastard

... and you want to host a camping trip.

Not host, maybe "lead". I'll gladly defer to somebody else but given my experience I'm not sure there is a better qualified canidate.

DDTempest · 01-13-2009, 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigDongedHoe

Not host, maybe "lead". I'll gladly defer to somebody else but given my experience I'm not sure there is a better qualified canidate.

I think you are missing the point ... poor follow through with agreed upon plans. A.K.A. where are the pictures?

Dent · 01-14-2009, 08:52 AM

Orgazmo · 01-14-2009, 10:35 AM

Badass.

hfam95 · 01-14-2009, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orgazmo

Badass.

this

Mr. Blonde · 01-14-2009, 11:35 AM

What in the world is that language on the package?

Dent · 01-14-2009, 02:46 PM

Thai, I think.
ภาษาไทย

Repugnant Abomination · 01-14-2009, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orgazmo

There's no way you have less friends than Repug.

...Hey!

Dent, I would very much like to see a picture of you rocking your new, bad ass wolf shirt.

Orgazmo · 01-14-2009, 03:18 PM

Fail.

Wolf Shirts

Repugnant Abomination · 01-14-2009, 03:19 PM

/hangs head in shame

That cost me internetz!? ashgdashdga

Orgazmo · 01-15-2009, 08:26 PM

This.

This is a package addressed to DDTempest.

Well, part of the address was to DDTempest. The "name" part. The rest was my address. Which makes sense, since it ended up in my mailbox.

"Wow, so someone actually used your address as the return address...and it was returned to you!?"

Nope. Someone ordered an item from ebay or something...and had the item shipped to DDTemptest at my address.

It's really something.

Luckily, DD lives a few minutes from me instead of across the country. Hope is not lost. I've it on good word he'll be picking it up from my front porch tomorrow.

Nevertheless...this was an astounding fail.

Cocktooth · 01-15-2009, 09:42 PM

Jesus Christ I'm a complete and utter dumbass. Once again, apologies all around.

ninjaface · 01-15-2009, 10:02 PM

HAHA.

DDTempest · 01-16-2009, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orgazmo

This.

This is a package addressed to DDTempest.

Well, part of the address was to DDTempest. The "name" part. The rest was my address. Which makes sense, since it ended up in my mailbox.

"Wow, so someone actually used your address as the return address...and it was returned to you!?"

Nope. Someone ordered an item from ebay or something...and had the item shipped to DDTemptest at my address.

It's really something.

Luckily, DD lives a few minutes from me instead of across the country. Hope is not lost. I've it on good word he'll be picking it up from my front porch tomorrow.

Nevertheless...this was an astounding fail.

This package was picked up from Orgazmo's house. Unfortunately I am missing one of my instruments I need to open it so a write up will be delayed until later today / possibly tonight.

Orgazmo · 01-16-2009, 11:19 AM

Blondebear Elite: Your Santa has forwarded me yet another email from the place where your gift was ordered. Again, delays and bullshit are holding it up. Your santa feels awful.

Orgazmo · 01-16-2009, 04:47 PM

I just received another gift for DDTempest.

DDTempest · 01-16-2009, 11:55 PM

Here it goes:

It all began a mere forty three days ago with an assignment and a wish. A wish that would carry me with childlike anticipation to the mailbox every day with a feeling of anticipation. All of the other kids were receiving their presents; such treasures as pubes, ninjas, gay sex instructional books, or even paper machete bears with bottles of booze crammed into their ass. Each day felt like a could-be Christmas, a could-be Christmas that was ruined by your child molesting Uncle Carl showing up and vomiting all over the gifts before accidentally setting them on fire ultimately denying you any celebration in the name of Christ's Glory.

Then came the message:

So I wake up early today to drive to Orgazmo's house and retrieve my gift, it's probably a book. Forty three almost-Christmas's have come and gone and I have to go pick it up. The temperature is a blood stopping 11 degrees below zero, but I have heated leather seats and the heater set to about 75. Package is obtained and I return home. I have been waiting for this moment for so long I don't even know what to do with myself.

I first consult my calendar, with which I have marked the passing of the days by crossing off each almost-Christmas.

It's the 16th of January according to the calendar, the day after Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday and a friday by the looks of it. I didn't have the tools necessary to properly open the package, I would pick them up at work and continue the festivities when I returned home in the evening.

As I returned home I gleefully anticipated the coming moments. I had purchased a lighter to help in the proper opening of such a timely gift and staged the package in the stone top of a bird bath and soaked it with the appropriate amounts (a lot) of gasoline.

I took a couple moments to reflect upon what I was doing. First I pondered whether or not this would backfire by me singing off my eyebrows. I pondered, what would Jesus do if one of the wise men showed up forty three days after his birthday with only a book to offer him. I pondered the truth of all things concerning Secret Santa and knew the truth: I was doing it because I cared the most. While someone else introduced the idea of Secret Santa, I grew from laughing at it to loving it like a child. I realized the only way to show how much I cared was with tough love.

At this point it was no longer a Secret Santa gift, at this point why even bother? Christmas was gone like so much gasoline would be mere moments from now. Nothing that I pulled out of this orange yellow envelope would heal the damage that was already done so I instead chose the cathartic therapy of fire and the whimsical dreamings of my imagination. I very well could have burned the cure for AIDS, the burial shroud of a Caesar, or even the greatest writings that had ever been scribed throughout the ages. Yes, the mystery was better than the probable disappointing truth.

I choose to let this Secret Christmas live in my heart and the heavens for all time.

The packaging quickly burned away to reveal my pyroscopic tome.

Aahhhh fan open those pages and let the knowledge of the ages return to the ashy skies above ...

It really IS the thought that counts.

DDTempest · 01-16-2009, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orgazmo

I just received another gift for DDTempest.

I'll bring you guys part two tomorrow after I pick this one up.

Mr. Blonde · 01-16-2009, 11:59 PM

L O FUCKING L

Repugnant Abomination · 01-17-2009, 12:12 AM

LOL! Wow. That's epic. Although I really want to know what book it was now.

THEINCREDIBLEdork · 01-17-2009, 12:58 AM

epic post

Ugly Bastard · 01-17-2009, 01:36 AM

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLL

(I held down the L on the keyboard for as long as I laughed).

Post of the year without question. That jumped into "best post on this message board of all-time" caliber in my book.

There is not enough pos-rep for thee, sir.

Well played.

View Poll Results: Should we have a Nubblies secret Santa?
Yes, that's an awesome idea!	8	44.44%
No, stop being gay, Repug.	10	55.56%
Voters: 18. You may not vote on this poll

01-13-2009, 10:00 PM	#377 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 284106	You've unmasked me!
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

01-14-2009, 11:35 AM	#384 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 284106	What in the world is that language on the package?
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

01-15-2009, 09:42 PM	#390 (permalink)
Cocktooth Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Warsaw Posts: 4,220 Internets: 124047	Jesus Christ I'm a complete and utter dumbass. Once again, apologies all around.
	Nubblies: If we put up with Felix, we will put up with you too.

01-16-2009, 11:59 PM	#397 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 284106	L O FUCKING L
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

01-13-2009, 10:21 PM	#378 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	... and you want to host a camping trip.

01-14-2009, 08:52 AM	#381 (permalink)
Dent Lost in Hilbert Spice Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Surrounded by knaves and fools Posts: 3,528 Internets: 183146

01-14-2009, 10:35 AM	#382 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,733 Internets: 311447	Badass.

01-14-2009, 02:46 PM	#385 (permalink)
Dent Lost in Hilbert Spice Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Surrounded by knaves and fools Posts: 3,528 Internets: 183146	Thai, I think. ภาษาไทย

01-14-2009, 03:18 PM	#387 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,733 Internets: 311447	Fail. Wolf Shirts

01-14-2009, 03:19 PM	#388 (permalink)
Repugnant Abomination Almost there... Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,979 Internets: 164547	/hangs head in shame That cost me internetz!? ashgdashdga

01-15-2009, 08:26 PM	#389 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,733 Internets: 311447	This. This is a package addressed to DDTempest. Well, part of the address was to DDTempest. The "name" part. The rest was my address. Which makes sense, since it ended up in my mailbox. "Wow, so someone actually used your address as the return address...and it was returned to you!?" Nope. Someone ordered an item from ebay or something...and had the item shipped to DDTemptest at my address. It's really something. Luckily, DD lives a few minutes from me instead of across the country. Hope is not lost. I've it on good word he'll be picking it up from my front porch tomorrow. Nevertheless...this was an astounding fail.

01-15-2009, 10:02 PM	#391 (permalink)
ninjaface Level 20 Holothetan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Space Posts: 5,245 Internets: 210144	HAHA.

01-16-2009, 11:19 AM	#393 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,733 Internets: 311447	Blondebear Elite: Your Santa has forwarded me yet another email from the place where your gift was ordered. Again, delays and bullshit are holding it up. Your santa feels awful.

01-16-2009, 04:47 PM	#394 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,733 Internets: 311447	I just received another gift for DDTempest.

01-16-2009, 11:55 PM	#395 (permalink)
DDTempest Ahoy Fuckbag Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: In a pineapple under the sea Posts: 3,540 Internets: 187030	Here it goes: It all began a mere forty three days ago with an assignment and a wish. A wish that would carry me with childlike anticipation to the mailbox every day with a feeling of anticipation. All of the other kids were receiving their presents; such treasures as pubes, ninjas, gay sex instructional books, or even paper machete bears with bottles of booze crammed into their ass. Each day felt like a could-be Christmas, a could-be Christmas that was ruined by your child molesting Uncle Carl showing up and vomiting all over the gifts before accidentally setting them on fire ultimately denying you any celebration in the name of Christ's Glory. Then came the message: So I wake up early today to drive to Orgazmo's house and retrieve my gift, it's probably a book. Forty three almost-Christmas's have come and gone and I have to go pick it up. The temperature is a blood stopping 11 degrees below zero, but I have heated leather seats and the heater set to about 75. Package is obtained and I return home. I have been waiting for this moment for so long I don't even know what to do with myself. I first consult my calendar, with which I have marked the passing of the days by crossing off each almost-Christmas. It's the 16th of January according to the calendar, the day after Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday and a friday by the looks of it. I didn't have the tools necessary to properly open the package, I would pick them up at work and continue the festivities when I returned home in the evening. As I returned home I gleefully anticipated the coming moments. I had purchased a lighter to help in the proper opening of such a timely gift and staged the package in the stone top of a bird bath and soaked it with the appropriate amounts (a lot) of gasoline. I took a couple moments to reflect upon what I was doing. First I pondered whether or not this would backfire by me singing off my eyebrows. I pondered, what would Jesus do if one of the wise men showed up forty three days after his birthday with only a book to offer him. I pondered the truth of all things concerning Secret Santa and knew the truth: I was doing it because I cared the most. While someone else introduced the idea of Secret Santa, I grew from laughing at it to loving it like a child. I realized the only way to show how much I cared was with tough love. At this point it was no longer a Secret Santa gift, at this point why even bother? Christmas was gone like so much gasoline would be mere moments from now. Nothing that I pulled out of this orange yellow envelope would heal the damage that was already done so I instead chose the cathartic therapy of fire and the whimsical dreamings of my imagination. I very well could have burned the cure for AIDS, the burial shroud of a Caesar, or even the greatest writings that had ever been scribed throughout the ages. Yes, the mystery was better than the probable disappointing truth. I choose to let this Secret Christmas live in my heart and the heavens for all time. The packaging quickly burned away to reveal my pyroscopic tome. Aahhhh fan open those pages and let the knowledge of the ages return to the ashy skies above ... It really IS the thought that counts.

01-17-2009, 12:12 AM	#398 (permalink)
Repugnant Abomination Almost there... Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,979 Internets: 164547	LOL! Wow. That's epic. Although I really want to know what book it was now.

01-17-2009, 12:58 AM	#399 (permalink)
THEINCREDIBLEdork Emperor Meow Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 9,353 Internets: 290966	epic post
	#YOLO

01-17-2009, 01:36 AM	#400 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLL (I held down the L on the keyboard for as long as I laughed). Post of the year without question. That jumped into "best post on this message board of all-time" caliber in my book. There is not enough pos-rep for thee, sir. Well played.

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