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Unread 12-04-2009, 02:54 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Banana Tits View Post
GWB please reply to my message. Your santee is growing impatient.

Thank you
Replied.


The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them.
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Unread 12-09-2009, 12:17 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Though I am saddened, I bear the burden of responsibility. Though I am saddened, I bear the burden of responsibility. Though I am irritated, fuck you niggers.

Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.
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Unread 12-11-2009, 05:26 PM   #28 (permalink)
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To GWB, I have been asked to alert you that your secret santa gift has been sent in the direction of the United Kingdom. The santa said unfortunately you get an empty box, because the shipping was $20.

To the rest of you, you'd best get your asses in gear!
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Unread 12-13-2009, 02:54 AM   #29 (permalink)
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There better at least be a hand drawn penis in this box.


The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them.
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Unread 12-14-2009, 12:40 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by George W. Bush View Post
There better at least be a hand drawn penis in this box.
??


So a wrinkle dick turned up at my door, it's my only present this year so i'm waiting untill christmas to open it in front of the family.
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Unread 12-14-2009, 02:00 PM   #31 (permalink)
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OPEN IMMEDIATELY YOU MOTHERFUCKER!
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Unread 12-14-2009, 02:36 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dent View Post
??


So a wrinkle dick turned up at my door, it's my only present this year so i'm waiting untill christmas to open it in front of the family.

What's that supposed to be? An ejaculating pickle?

Quote:
You often seem to think that the lowest-hanging-fruit makes you some sort of comedy genius. You're just not a good person. You're spiteful, constantly negative, and bring others down to make yourself feel better. I just don't have room for that.
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Unread 12-16-2009, 09:47 AM   #33 (permalink)
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A message for Mr. Blonde from your secret santa:

Please tell mr. Blonde that his secret santa has not only sent an empty box as his gift but wants to be reimbursed for the $5 over the $20 limit just for shipping.
thanks
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Unread 12-17-2009, 09:56 PM   #34 (permalink)
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DDTempest: Your Santa's feelings have been hurt. I've been told your package was delivered to the front porch on 12/15 and you havent so much as mentioned it. Stop acting like a dumb bitch and get on it.
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Unread 12-17-2009, 10:12 PM   #35 (permalink)
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God damnit, guys. Can we get some fucking payoff in this thread?

Dent, stop being a pussy. Open the gift.

DD, stop being a twat. Get your god damned package, take it inside, and open the fucker.

Son of a bitch, guys. Get it together.
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Unread 12-17-2009, 11:05 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Gaz, I have a message from your santa:

Dear Orgazmo,

I haven't been able to even start on your gift yet because it requires for me to be outside for a significant amount of time and it's very cold where I am. I'll try today again, but no guarantees. It will probably come after Christmas.
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Unread 12-17-2009, 11:06 PM   #37 (permalink)
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The plus side for the rest of the participants is that they don't have the shittiest Santa.
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Unread 12-18-2009, 09:14 AM   #38 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Banana Tits View Post
DDTempest: Your Santa's feelings have been hurt. I've been told your package was delivered to the front porch on 12/15 and you havent so much as mentioned it. Stop acting like a dumb bitch and get on it.
Sorry Santa ... my porch is roughly 15 feet long and I expect all packages to be right outside my door ... UPS deposited it in some random nook at the very front of my porch where it has sat for approximately three days now ... opening now!

Quote:
You often seem to think that the lowest-hanging-fruit makes you some sort of comedy genius. You're just not a good person. You're spiteful, constantly negative, and bring others down to make yourself feel better. I just don't have room for that.
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Unread 12-18-2009, 11:14 AM   #39 (permalink)
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It has been 2 hours. Would it kill you to post some god damned pictures? Christ.
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Unread 12-18-2009, 11:22 AM   #40 (permalink)
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Message for UB from Santa:

Please acknowledge the first wave of your present.
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Unread 12-18-2009, 07:51 PM   #41 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Orgazmo View Post
It has been 2 hours. Would it kill you to post some god damned pictures? Christ.
Sorry sir, I had to charge batteries for my camera. Do you want me to do this proper?

Quote:
You often seem to think that the lowest-hanging-fruit makes you some sort of comedy genius. You're just not a good person. You're spiteful, constantly negative, and bring others down to make yourself feel better. I just don't have room for that.
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Unread 12-18-2009, 08:29 PM   #42 (permalink)
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Quote:
Dearest DDTempest,
I hope this letter finds you in good spirits. This package contains what could be called Christmas gifts, but they are truly much more. Individually, each item is just a great gift. Howerver, when assembled into a kid and used properly, the contents of the box you received are the tools you need to become the SUPERSTAR everyone knows you can be!

Now get out there and be somebody!

Sincerely,

?????

P.S. XOXOXOXO

HOLY SHIT 3D PUZZLES!!



An assortment of gel clings to decorate my windows / mirrors / shower doors.


A $5 gift card to CVS ... Oh you!



I could stop right there and this would be a far better Christmas than last year (the one that Shaw ruined), but there is more!

I am not sure which of the following is cooler ....

PREHISTORIC FUCKING CREATURE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently these tiny little eggs turn into three eye shrimps!


Last but not least, what is surely to be a literary classic ...

Make Love* *The Bruce Campbell Way


THANKS SANTA!!!

Quote:
You often seem to think that the lowest-hanging-fruit makes you some sort of comedy genius. You're just not a good person. You're spiteful, constantly negative, and bring others down to make yourself feel better. I just don't have room for that.
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Unread 12-18-2009, 08:40 PM   #43 (permalink)
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wow, your santa was fucking awesome.

kind of makes me wish i would have participated this year just for the 1 in 10 chance.

#YOLO
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Unread 12-19-2009, 01:17 AM   #44 (permalink)
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Kudos to your Santa for being solid.
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Unread 12-19-2009, 09:29 AM   #45 (permalink)
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Those Triops are really fucking cool, I used to have one that lived for a year, he ate algae like it's going outta style.
Pretty amazing how long they remain as dried up shit for too.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Orgazmo View Post
People that are in
Gaz
Blondebear
UB
DDSexfist
GWB
Dent
Ninjer

As you sign up, go ahead and PM Tits with your address.

is this the final list? If so DDTempests was Ninja.

Last edited by Dent; 12-19-2009 at 09:34 AM.
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Unread 12-19-2009, 10:39 AM   #46 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dent View Post
Those Triops are really fucking cool, I used to have one that lived for a year, he ate algae like it's going outta style.
Pretty amazing how long they remain as dried up shit for too.





is this the final list? If so DDTempests was Ninja.
I am DDSexfist apparently ... I tell Gaz not to bring our personal life out in the open on the boards but he slips once in a while.

Quote:
You often seem to think that the lowest-hanging-fruit makes you some sort of comedy genius. You're just not a good person. You're spiteful, constantly negative, and bring others down to make yourself feel better. I just don't have room for that.
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Unread 12-20-2009, 06:08 AM   #47 (permalink)
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All I wanted was to know how many people were in this years secret santa, your personal life scares me

I just found out that I forgot to mail half of my secret santa shit, someone missed out on this

anyone want it? its a joke because its meant to be have a great day but its always bad here lololol
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Unread 12-20-2009, 11:18 AM   #48 (permalink)
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I don't like your thumb.

#YOLO
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Unread 12-20-2009, 04:58 PM   #49 (permalink)
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it's almost a toe thumb.
I hope your secret santa gets you gloves.

LEGALIZE CRIME!

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Unread 12-20-2009, 09:02 PM   #50 (permalink)
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Hello there Ugly Bastard,
Santa is up here in his workshop working really hard on getting all you kids the gifts you deserve. Santa just wants to know if you received the cards he sent. Santa need to know if you found the key that will open the rest of your present before he spends money to mail out the bulk of your gift.

Love,
Secret Fucking Santa - ho ho ho

Ho, Ho, Ho motherfuckers.
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