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#327 (permalink) |
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Jelqing for Jesus
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Charlotte's spare bedroom
Posts: 3,079
Internets: 194538
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Here it is my bad assed secret santa package.
![]() Hells yah. an abundance of goodies awaits. ![]() There's a note. Santa's penman ship is like this to hide his identity, or dyslexia, but either way. My santer knows it's a bad ass gift. ![]() Sweet mutha fucking jesiz. Night vision goggles. that kicks a gun's ass any day. the possibilities are endless!!!!!!!!!!!! ![]() The goggles do need something to power their bad ass super powers. Enriched uranium. Nope better MAXXXXX energizers. Need to keep these out the hands of Tehran and pyong-pingpong. ![]() What goes good with night vision goggles? Glad you asked. Another stealthy and versatile weapon. A bag. Similar to that video game ManHunter, now I can use the goggle to stalk my prey undetected, sneak up behind them, place the plastic bag over their head and suffocate the victim while strangling them. All while being undetected. ![]() other uses for the bad as well. ![]() Appears to be a video of a hot bitch. Maybe I can use the night vision goggles for stealth sex? ![]() Already rubbed one out just looking at the cover. Didn't need the goggle for the task. ![]() All this stealthiness and danciness can work up an appetite. And Santa is so baller, he understands. ![]() ![]() Can't expect forget something to wash down the xmas goodies. What goes better than booze? Nothing, but booze flavored coffee is the next best thing. Santa knows you must be alert to use the night vision goggle. He's never send me something like four loko. ![]() How would santer know that I took up indoor gardening a couple months ago? ![]() You know, santer could have quit then and there as well. And it would have been awesome. But NOOOOOO. Santa knows I need to one up the other nubblites. Did somebody get a book on dinosaurs? Yeah, well my santcha love me more. Feast you eyes on this. ![]() Not just any dinosaur, but the baddest one off all time. Don't believe me check The best dinosaur was... for proof. another view of the sexosaurus. ![]() with a great saurus come responsibility. I love that santa think I'm responsible enough to clean up after him and provided me with tools to do so. My santa would never expect me to use the bullseye bad for this task. Nope I got a scoop and a bucket to clean up dinoshit. ![]() another view of the designer bucket. ![]() Since santa knows I'm in the warmer part of the world, and he is in the north pole, I think these got left behind by mistake. I never know such thing existed. ![]() My Sntaa kicked every other santas ass out there. I fucking win! I also believe that this is the last gift to be opened and posted. |
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Last edited by angry pancake; 01-05-2011 at 05:12 PM. |
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#334 (permalink) |
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Ahoy Fuckbag
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: In a pineapple under the sea
Posts: 3,540
Internets: 187030
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Quote:
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#335 (permalink) |
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Jelqing for Jesus
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Charlotte's spare bedroom
Posts: 3,079
Internets: 194538
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I have to give mad props to IM and ninjaface for really coming through. I'll take an honorable mention for setting the bar and setting it early. I will kick everyone's ass next year.
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#336 (permalink) |
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Ahoy Fuckbag
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: In a pineapple under the sea
Posts: 3,540
Internets: 187030
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Apparently I received the secret santa gift that keeps on giving ... received a mysterious envelope in the mail today ... thanks to my Playboy subscription I am now on porn junkmail mailing lists!
Thanks Santa! |
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#337 (permalink) |
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Bokononist
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Indianapolis
Posts: 2,595
Internets: 11801
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Oh yeah...HEY F3LIX, I WAS YOUR SECRET FUCKING SANTA.
Since as it's March and all, I figured I should mention that. Sorry my gifts weren't as cool as everyone else's. I'll do better next year, but you probably won't be my Santee. By the way, your neighborhood made me feel really poor (I am). |
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"Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand." |vonnegut
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#339 (permalink) |
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Bokononist
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Indianapolis
Posts: 2,595
Internets: 11801
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I assume you're referring to the Great White album. There was no meaning behind it other than that I happened to have gotten it in my possession and felt like passing it on. However, let's consider Great White for a moment...
Great White is a type of shark, and sharks kill people. Great White (band) also kills people. That was enough reason for me while I drunkenly assembled parts of your gift on multiple nights. |
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"Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand." |vonnegut
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