Good King Dork

[THEINCREDIBLEdork]

http://wilstar.com/xmas/wenceslas.htm

Good King Dork is a badass
He has a long eee-peen
King of Nubblies land he is
bitch get off his nutz plz.

I have fuck n' seven high scores
That is more than you have
If you'd like to suck my cock
I would understand, my friend.

[f3lix]

i almost want to dethrone you just to find out what you'd have to say

[THEINCREDIBLEdork]

I'm thinking of changing my title to "Lord" of the arcade, how do we feel about that?

Orgazmo, how do you feel about that?

[StabMaster Arson]

Christ of the arcade has a nice ring to it

[vaga1220 *]

You fucking hacker!

[THEINCREDIBLEdork]

There must be something wrong with this thread, orgazmo can't read it.
Maybe i should make another one.

[vaga1220 *]

You goddamn cheater. When I think of how hard it was for me to get 57,590 points on Asteroids I know with certainty that for you to get 94,500... you had to have hacked.

[THEINCREDIBLEdork]

The good lord does not distribute his gifts among us equally. He truely works in mysterious ways.

[THEINCREDIBLEdork]

Biological Bases on Why I am King of the Arcade
by THEINCREDIBLEdork

First of all, let me point out that "bases" is the plural form of the word "basis." It is pronounced ˈbā-sēz, most of you probably didn't know that.

It has been brought to my attention that many cannot understand why many of my highscores are so much higher, if you will, than the 2nd place finishers. In fact, some have gone as far as to accuse me of cheating or attaining my high scores in a dishonest fashion. You should know that there are sound biological factors that influence these high scores, and they are the result of my ability, and my ability alone.

Myelin Sheaths

A myelinated axon is illustrated in orange in the above image. A myelin sheath insulates nearly all of the neurons in our brain and nervous sytem. The main consequence of a myelin layer (or sheath) is an increase in the speed at which impulses propagate along the myelinated fiber. The thicker the myelin layer, the greater the overall neuroconductance, and the lower the latency for reflexive actions.

Intelligence

Intelligence is extremely dependent on genetic factors and genetics completely determine the full potential of your intelligence. Intelligence is important because it allows to choose which is the most successful strategy. Intelligence and quick reflexes make a powerful combination. Poor Decision Making and fast reflexes makes many mistakes. Success requires making the right decision in prudent time.

Anxiety

What do you do when you see 30 meteors coming after you in Asteroids? Do you freak out and lose your cool, completely forgetting your strategy and frantically make random decisions? Or do you grow stronger with the increased pressure and implement your winning strategy with greater resolve and precision? Neural circuitry involving the amygdala and hippocampus is thought to underlie anxiety. If these essential components inside your dome piece are hypersensitive or not as evolved as mine, your reflexes and intelligence will be negated by excessive anxiety. Perhaps you have seen this graph before?



The more of a pussy you are the more your anxiety curve moves to the left on the x-axis. Imagine your breaking point, you are unable to cope, your thinking is disorganized, you've lost all hope. This this point where you are at is where I shine, my heroic nature allows me to surpass all odds.

Basically, I won the genetic lottery, and many factors go into how talented I am. You really shouldn't feel as though it is unfair or be jealous of my abilities. Instead, you should think of people like me as gifts, gifts to you and the entire the human race. The succes of the human race stands on the shoulders of great men such as myself. Without people like me you wouldn't have cars to drive around in or computers that allow to read my virtuous words.

This whole situation reminds me of the song "On Eagles Wings." Whether or not I am him, the Rock, or the Eagle upon whose wings you are riding upon is open to interpretation. Whatever I am, I am certainly not the Snare of the Fowler. However, I'm kind of partial to the Eagle. Squaaaaaaaaaaaww! Squaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!

On Eagles Wings

You who dwell in the shelter of the Lord,
Who abide in His shadow for life,
Say to the Lord, "My Refuge,
My Rock in Whom I trust."

Refrain
And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
The snare of the fowler will never capture you,
And famine will bring you no fear;
Under His Wings your refuge,
His faithfulness your shield.

Refrain
And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.

-His Lordship

[THEINCREDIBLEdork]

This last weekend I built a time machine and went 1000 years into the future. There I witnessed an interview between a Historian, Dr. Sherbertcock, who specializes in early 21rst century arts and culture and some great great grandson of Charlie Rose who also does interviews for a living. It was all pretty surreal hearing about myself in the past tense after I had died so long ago. Here is an excerpt from the interview.

Dr. Sherbertcock, you are a very respected individual in your field. What makes you so interested in studying this man known as King Dork?

Well, great men such as he are few and far between. He was a sort of Philosopher King in that he was very active in poetry, music, philosophical writings, and teachings that influence popular culture even today. Take for instance his accredited work Good King Dork.

Here is you can see a kind of dichotomous relationship between how Dork rules his people and what is expected of a man such as he. In the first verse, it is written with a 3rd person voice that seems to say "Just who do you think you are, wasting His Majesty's time. Get off his nuts!" But then the following verse is written in the first person. Dork acknowledges his greatness, but allows himself to give time to those who admire him, albeit somewhat reluctantly. Allowing his people to hungrily gulp down his man juice. Very striking.

aaaah yes, very striking indeed.

[THEINCREDIBLEdork]

I AM KING. I AM KING. I AM KING.

[Ironic Mustache]

You are a turd.