Classic Porn Review Thread

[angry pancake]

This thread might serve some use as a place for old time porn film review. The movies were much different back then from today's offerings and quite frankly, a lot more lacking in action. That said AP hopes to keep has worth more from a historical perspective than anything else. AP's contributions to this thread will be safe for work.

Back in the early days of public showing in theaters, the sex to non-sex ration was astronomically low. One theory for this factor was that obscenity had not really been defined yet. So there was some attempt to make a main stream movie that just happened to have some fucking going on.

Probably one of the best adult films from this time in the opinion of AP is "The Opening of Misty Beethoven." http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075018/ Starring Constance Money who only made two films, retired, then un-retired for one more. An objectively hot 19 year old bitch for her time. She was considered by many to be one of the best looking models of her day. The film was shot partially in Paris, Rome and San Francisco and had a fairly big budget. Many of the actors could actually, act. After listening to the director's cuts from several of these from this era. The claim is that a lot of the male actors started out as stage formally trained actors or actors who were struggling and needed a little extra cash. Jamie Gillis is completely competent in his lead role.

The story is one of a shitload based on roughly on George Bernard Shaw's play "Pygmalion." Gillis is a magazine publisher who is trying to find the next big thing for his adult magazine. So confident in his abilities to mold anyone into the role, he bets his friend that he can make the most unappealing into the "Goldenrod Girl." The selection is Misty Beethoven played by Money and the bulk of the film goes over transforming her from what Gillis claimed to be the most unerotic thing on the planet "a sexual civil service worker" into the complete opposite.

The movie contains great camera work. Most of the technical workers, such as lighting and sound, moonlighted from the big studios and worked under a pseudonym. It's mentioned elsewhere that the camera guys who shot the film also shot Barry Lyndon --which won the 1975 Academy Award for cinematography for John Alcott. Superior acting for a porn. Some of the sex scenes are short. And a few of the characters are fucking ugly --but that seemed to be the intent. They even seemed to pay attention to detail to the sound. Quality all around.

An exceptional Classic Porn. Not too many better than this one. Probably not the best one to rub one out to. But a very very well made adult film. One of the greatest of all time.

AP gives this a 5 out of 5. Recommended for those who want to see a well made porn.