| Beebs |
10-24-2011 05:31 PM |
Mario Balotelli, living legend
If you are not acquainted with Mario Balotelli, you need to be.
Let's go over his past week:
Saturday - set off fireworks inside rented mansion, burn entire floor. Run back in for large pile of money and suitcase.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2...fire-fireworks
Sunday - Score 2 goals for Manchester City against Manchester United in a record breaking 6-1 win. Reveal t-shirt that says "Why always me?"
http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/...otelli-007.jpg
Monday - become spokesman for firework safety campaign. http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2...reworks-safety
http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/...otelli-007.jpg
Previous exploits include:
Answering a cop who asked why he had £5,000 in his pocket with "Because I'm rich"
Throwing darts at youth team players.
Solving some random kids bullying problem.
Being fucking amazing:
Losing a fight to a bib.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/b...ario-balotelli
Quote:
Oh Balotelli he's a striker…
He's good at darts(1)/
He's allergic to grass (2) but when he plays/ He's fucking class.
Drives round Moss Side/ with a wallet full of cash(3)/
Can't put on his vest (4)/ But when he does he is the best
Goes into schools (5)/ Tells teachers all the rules
Sets fire to his gaff (6)/ With rockets from his bath
Doesn't give a fuck/ Cos he did it for a laugh
Runs back to his house (7)/ For a suitcase full of cash
Oh Balotelli …
1) In March 2011, Balotelli threw at least one dart in the direction of youth-team players at the club's Carrington training academy. Nobody was hurt. It was a prank.
2) In March 2011, a busy month in Balotelli's blossoming career, it was alleged, probably untruthfully, that he was allergic to grass after suffering such a severe reaction against Dynamo Kyiv that he had to be substituted with a swollen face.
3) In September 2010 police revealed that Balotelli was found with £5,000 in his pocket after smashing his car. He has been known to hand wads of money to homeless people.
4) In March 2011 Balotelli had an astonishing fight with his vest. The vest won.
5) In May 2011 it was revealed that Balotelli took a truanting boy back to school to give bullies and teachers a ticking off.
6) Last week's fireworks were not attempted arson, just a premature bonfire-lnight practice gone wrong.
7) Reports suggested that the striker ran back to save both cash and the suitcase but the suitcase full of cash sounds more Balotelli.
|
|
