Review this paper for me! - Nubblies.net Forums

Mr. Blonde · 05-22-2004, 02:03 PM

This is an actual paper written by a Northridge High School student last year, when she was sophomore. THIS IS NOT A JOKE. THIS IS AN ACTUAL PAPER, TURNED IN, FOR A TEACHER. His comments are on the side in red pen.

Wow.

[ May 22, 2004, 12:08 PM: Message edited by: Mr. Blonde ]

underwater · 05-22-2004, 02:19 PM

holy fucking hell. where did you find this?? is it really legit?? if it is.. this brittany girl must've been on drugs, or something was wrong with her in the head.... seriously, why would you.... wow. mind boggling.

Lucifer · 05-22-2004, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by underwater:
holy fucking hell. where did you find this?? is it really legit?? if it is.. this brittany girl must've been on drugs, or something was wrong with her in the head.... seriously, why would you.... wow. mind boggling.

You are a dumb bitch.
I'm surprised you didn't write this paper.

PS. You are going to burn in hell, where I will torture your soul for all eternity, fucker.

Mr. Blonde · 05-22-2004, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by underwater:
where did you find this?? is it really legit??

I graduated from NR, therefore i know people that attended the school at the time, who sent it to me. Is it legit? I mentioned several times that it was an actual paper, turned in. I know the girl who wrote it, as well as the teacher who graded it.

[ May 22, 2004, 12:34 PM: Message edited by: Mr. Blonde ]

BarryJive · 05-22-2004, 02:39 PM

Whoever the teacher was who critiqued this monstrosity, I have full respect for them. I loved all the "under-the-breath" sort of backhanded comments they made. Although the fact that this got a "D" and not an "F" is beyond me.

underwater · 05-22-2004, 02:42 PM

fucking hell

[ May 22, 2004, 12:45 PM: Message edited by: underwater ]

underwater · 05-22-2004, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BarryJive:
the fact that this got a "D" and not an "F" is beyond me.

yeah i was wondering about that too

i honestly can't believe someone wrote that and turned it in.

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr. Blonde:
I know the girl who wrote it

is she all there??

Mr. Blonde · 05-22-2004, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by underwater:
is she all there??

Unfortunately, yes.

Cocktooth · 05-23-2004, 04:17 AM

Sounds like a great girl to me!!!!

onto morning stars · 05-23-2004, 10:12 PM

this girl has to be a complete dumbass, she definitely should have failed

Saint DH · 05-24-2004, 02:01 PM

Yeah, the teacher's comments made me chuckle...

Quote:

Not to sound mean, but this is quite possibly one of the most ill-advised statements I've ever read.

--in response to the statement about pornography being benefical to society and that it educates everyone in the world. Haha, wow.

[ May 24, 2004, 12:02 PM: Message edited by: Dirty Harry ]

Mr. Blonde · 09-13-2004, 01:36 PM

Well now I'm just turning this into a thread for us to either:

A. Post actual papers on here for us to edit for you as a serious critique
B. Post papers meant to be made fun of, such as the one above, and the one i'm about to post.

The following "paper" is a story I just found that I wrote for my senior year english class dated April 19th 2002. I don't remember what the assignment was (I think it was supposed to be a parody on a fairy tale), and I hope I didnt turn it in, and if I did, I can't believe I didn't get suspended. This is unaltered from the original copy. Enjoy.

Little Red Riding Ho’

One day Little Red Riding Ho’ came home from a hard day on the streets, only to find her mother waiting for her. “Remember Little Red Riding Ho’, today is when you take the percentage of your earnings to your boss, Mr. Johnson.” “ Fo sho Mama, I’ll go over there right away!” So Little Red Riding Ho’ put on her bright red feather boa, and set out across town to report to her pimp when she passed an undercover cop on the corner, disguised as a hobo. “Hello Little Red Riding Ho’, where are you headed today?” he asked. “Well hello mister hobo, I was just headed over to my workplace”, she replied. “Where do you work?” inquired the masquerading hobo. “I work for Mr. Johnson, you know, the local pimp? I was just headed over there to give him his percentage of my earnings.” She said. “Oh”, said the hobo, who then bolted off across the alley and jumped a fence. “Well that was awfully strange,” thought Little Red Riding Ho’ “He probably just went looking for some food or something.”

So she continued along her errand, not thinking anything else of the situation. Meanwhile, the undercover cop was halfway across town in his car, and soon arrived at Mr. Johnson’s house. He didn’t have a warrant, but he didn’t have time to stop by the station for fear that Mr. Jackson would steal his case. That would make it the fifth time this month. He just couldn’t let that happen. So when he got to the pimp’s private residence, he busted in the place, and started shooting everybody. Not only was there a prostitution ring going on, but there were also poor foreign children making drugs for Mr. Johnson. The undercover cop began to ponder on why it was necessary to kill those kids too. But he didn’t think about it too much, he had to wait for Little Red Riding Ho’ to arrive so he could arrest her.

But little did he know that Little Red Riding Ho’ was outside and heard all the gunshots, and had gathered a small army of prostitutes armed with 9’s. They came in the back and took the cop by surprise, and after a short gunfight the cop was soon dead. Turns out not all of the drug lab was ruined, and Little Red Riding Ho’ took over the prostitute operation, and everybody lived happily in the ghetto forever after.

The End

Wow.

[ September 13, 2004, 11:42 AM: Message edited by: Mr. Blonde ]

Beebs · 09-13-2004, 03:06 PM

I sent a recomendation to http://nobelprize.org/literature/laureates/ for you Mr. Blonde

01-28-2005, 01:16 AM

Real or not (I actually suspect this could be real and that is scary) this paper is much better.

Mr. Blonde · 01-28-2005, 01:21 AM

I've seen this before...i'm sure it's not legit...but then again look at our Northridge friend above's paper.

DJ FC · 04-13-2010, 12:55 PM

Bump.

I just showed some friends at work that paper.

That was epic.

f3lix · 04-13-2010, 03:05 PM

Blank page 3 has teaching using incorrect usage of "to." Humpf

DJ FC · 04-14-2010, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by f3lix

Blank page 3 has teaching using incorrect usage of "to." Humpf

I was referring to the real paper.

05-22-2004, 02:03 PM	#1 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 284106	This is an actual paper written by a Northridge High School student last year, when she was sophomore. THIS IS NOT A JOKE. THIS IS AN ACTUAL PAPER, TURNED IN, FOR A TEACHER. His comments are on the side in red pen. Wow. [ May 22, 2004, 12:08 PM: Message edited by: Mr. Blonde ]
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

05-22-2004, 02:19 PM	#2 (permalink)
underwater Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: indiana Posts: 1,453 Internets: 10	holy fucking hell. where did you find this?? is it really legit?? if it is.. this brittany girl must've been on drugs, or something was wrong with her in the head.... seriously, why would you.... wow. mind boggling.
	We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind, because your friends don't dance and if they don't dance then they're no friends of mine.

05-22-2004, 02:39 PM	#5 (permalink)
BarryJive Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Bloomington Posts: 358 Internets: 44	Whoever the teacher was who critiqued this monstrosity, I have full respect for them. I loved all the "under-the-breath" sort of backhanded comments they made. Although the fact that this got a "D" and not an "F" is beyond me.
	I don't mean to brag, I don't mean to boast, but I'm intercontinental when I eat french toast.

05-22-2004, 02:42 PM	#6 (permalink)
underwater Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: indiana Posts: 1,453 Internets: 10	fucking hell [ May 22, 2004, 12:45 PM: Message edited by: underwater ]
	We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind, because your friends don't dance and if they don't dance then they're no friends of mine.

05-23-2004, 04:17 AM	#9 (permalink)
Cocktooth Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Warsaw Posts: 4,220 Internets: 124047	Sounds like a great girl to me!!!!
	Nubblies: If we put up with Felix, we will put up with you too.

05-23-2004, 10:12 PM	#10 (permalink)
onto morning stars Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: warsaw Posts: 70 Internets: 10	this girl has to be a complete dumbass, she definitely should have failed
	seeing further into the past everything in my life has been masked, a sheet of illusion transparent like my thoughts, love came and went, everything i was is slowly lost

09-13-2004, 01:36 PM	#12 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 284106	Well now I'm just turning this into a thread for us to either: A. Post actual papers on here for us to edit for you as a serious critique B. Post papers meant to be made fun of, such as the one above, and the one i'm about to post. The following "paper" is a story I just found that I wrote for my senior year english class dated April 19th 2002. I don't remember what the assignment was (I think it was supposed to be a parody on a fairy tale), and I hope I didnt turn it in, and if I did, I can't believe I didn't get suspended. This is unaltered from the original copy. Enjoy. Little Red Riding Ho’ One day Little Red Riding Ho’ came home from a hard day on the streets, only to find her mother waiting for her. “Remember Little Red Riding Ho’, today is when you take the percentage of your earnings to your boss, Mr. Johnson.” “ Fo sho Mama, I’ll go over there right away!” So Little Red Riding Ho’ put on her bright red feather boa, and set out across town to report to her pimp when she passed an undercover cop on the corner, disguised as a hobo. “Hello Little Red Riding Ho’, where are you headed today?” he asked. “Well hello mister hobo, I was just headed over to my workplace”, she replied. “Where do you work?” inquired the masquerading hobo. “I work for Mr. Johnson, you know, the local pimp? I was just headed over there to give him his percentage of my earnings.” She said. “Oh”, said the hobo, who then bolted off across the alley and jumped a fence. “Well that was awfully strange,” thought Little Red Riding Ho’ “He probably just went looking for some food or something.” So she continued along her errand, not thinking anything else of the situation. Meanwhile, the undercover cop was halfway across town in his car, and soon arrived at Mr. Johnson’s house. He didn’t have a warrant, but he didn’t have time to stop by the station for fear that Mr. Jackson would steal his case. That would make it the fifth time this month. He just couldn’t let that happen. So when he got to the pimp’s private residence, he busted in the place, and started shooting everybody. Not only was there a prostitution ring going on, but there were also poor foreign children making drugs for Mr. Johnson. The undercover cop began to ponder on why it was necessary to kill those kids too. But he didn’t think about it too much, he had to wait for Little Red Riding Ho’ to arrive so he could arrest her. But little did he know that Little Red Riding Ho’ was outside and heard all the gunshots, and had gathered a small army of prostitutes armed with 9’s. They came in the back and took the cop by surprise, and after a short gunfight the cop was soon dead. Turns out not all of the drug lab was ruined, and Little Red Riding Ho’ took over the prostitute operation, and everybody lived happily in the ghetto forever after. The End Wow. [ September 13, 2004, 11:42 AM: Message edited by: Mr. Blonde ]
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

09-13-2004, 03:06 PM	#13 (permalink)
Beebs Poor Sport Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Indianapolis / Middlebury / Long Lake Posts: 5,306 Internets: 127341	I sent a recomendation to http://nobelprize.org/literature/laureates/ for you Mr. Blonde

01-28-2005, 01:16 AM	#14 (permalink)
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a	Real or not (I actually suspect this could be real and that is scary) this paper is much better.
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a

01-28-2005, 01:21 AM	#15 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 284106	I've seen this before...i'm sure it's not legit...but then again look at our Northridge friend above's paper.
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

04-13-2010, 12:55 PM	#16 (permalink)
DJ FC MURICAN Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Virginia Posts: 5,136 Internets: 253094	Bump. I just showed some friends at work that paper. That was epic.
	The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them.

04-13-2010, 03:05 PM	#17 (permalink)
f3lix Gangnam Style Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: DH's Massage Parlor Posts: 6,383 Internets: 213510	Blank page 3 has teaching using incorrect usage of "to." Humpf