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#1 (permalink) |
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Emperor Meow
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I'm a loser. I don't go out much, I don't really care for the bar scene. And I'm extremely awkward around the opposite sex or any sex for that matter if I don't know them well. My game usually consists of getting really drunk at a party, at which time I feel like Casanova, and then creep out as many girls as possible.
The last time I dated someone was probably about 2 years ago. It was a really weird and embarrassing experience that started in the summer and quickly ended in the fall semester. I think the most reason I was attracted to this girl is that she was psycho. When she'd leave messages on my voice box she used some kind of feature that would let her know exactly when I listened to it. If, I didn't call back right away her behavior would be very erratic and weird. I invited her over to my house where my roommates were grilling out, she didn't say a fucking word the entire time, very awkward. I began to just think she wasn't interested. But if I didn't call her for a few days she'd send me a text message or voice mail telling me to call her. Sometimes, she would call my number and hang up right away so it looked like she called me and i missed it. I'd call her and she'd act all rosy and nice on the phone. Then when I would go see her she would be totally aloof and seem completely obligated. But she'd be all dolled up. Other mixed signals up the yin yang. I figured she had some major issues, I had to keep seeing her just to figure her out. But every time I tried to pry some answers I'd get cryptic bullshit. After an angry ending, in which I called her out for all her weird shit, I found out she got engaged to some dude, then broke up as soon a the wedding came up. The next summer she called me, and we had some chit chat, small talk. It was strange, I struggled as hard as i could to end the phone conversation and finally said "alrighty then! take care." After that I got i think 3 facebook messages from her telling me to call her. I ignored them. Since lately, no amount of porn is helping me curb my overdriven sexual urges. I've tried milfs, geriatric porn, furries, hentai, gay porn, bestiality, BDSM, mutilation, feet, gangbangs, interracial, she-male, monstercock, peeing, Squirting, spanking, hairy, asian, and pregnant to no avail, I will be searching for a real sexual partner this year. Monday night I went to a small gathering and tried to play the creep down. It payed off and me and a girl potentially hit it off. Tomorrow I'm seeing her for lunch. So tonight ill make over my ass and pluck my shaft pubes and come up with some pre-made clever things to say. In this thread I will chronicle any blunders, smooth moves, or neurotic behavior (myself or her). enjoy! |
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#YOLO
Last edited by THEINCREDIBLEdork; 08-27-2008 at 06:26 PM. |
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#5 (permalink) |
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Spice Master
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 17,969
Internets: 284106
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lunch dude? not even dinner? hate to say it but you're going to lunch with a girl on a thursday. unless lunch turns into daydrinking and going out tomorrow night, your odds are slim.
don't get me wrong, i wish the best of luck to all nubblites in their sexual endeavors (except f3lix cause he pry beds sea donkeys on the regular and i wish that upon no man), but i'm just saying. If neither of you have anything going on tomorrow afternoon, i highly suggest you turn it into daydrinking. This is also coming from a guy who hasn't had sex without being under some kind of alcoholic influence in about 2 years though, so take it with a grain of salt. MARGARITA SALT AMIRITE |
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#6 (permalink) |
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Emperor Meow
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hellz no tomorrow won't lead to sex, although it would be a nice dessert if it did... its an opportunity to see her without beer goggles. if its awkward as fuck i got an easy way out. Please feel free to correct me if i'm wrong and your opinions are appreciated.
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#YOLO
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#7 (permalink) |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 13,643
Internets: 247330
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Dude dinner as a first date is an awful idea.
Drinks are fine. Lunch is probably fine, though not very personal. Pick up this book called "The Game", it can be of some help. Oh... and I too have no clue what sober sex feels like. |
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#9 (permalink) |
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Spice Master
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 17,969
Internets: 284106
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Dinner for a first date is horrible if you are a douchebag, which the guy who wrote "the game" is, as he is full of shit and a COMPLETE douchebag. He is always out in the nightlife here and he's probably the biggest douche i've ever met.
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#10 (permalink) |
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English.
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I too am on a first date this lunchtime.
Was also thinking lunch.. It can't really be that bad an idea? She's meeting me outside the gym (hotel with gym inside) and I figured nothing gets juices flowing more than a rare fillet steak. Dork, does is your finding of this related? http://nubblies.net/forums/showpost....postcount=1504 |
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there is little I wouldn't do for a dolphin.
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#11 (permalink) |
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Emperor Meow
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Does the journey end before it even starts?
About 20 minutes ago I received a text message split into two parts: First message: "Hey sorry i didnt want to wake you up.. But do you think i could get a raincheck on lunch today? I just woke up to like 25 messages to my dad sayin that he is" 2nd message about a minute later: "coming to btowntoday to see my apartment and take me to dinner.. So hopefully we can go sometime this week! "Thats a long fucking text message. Have I ever ranted about how much I hate text messaging? Getting them is ok but I hate replying with them. Its a pain in the scrotum typing them out on a number keypad. Sometime my mom will send me text messages with like 10 questions in them. You know what I do? I fucking ignore them. What, you won't me to write a fucking novel on a 1Xhalf inch screen and a touch pad that makes me push "7" 8 times and wait not less than 3 seconds in between the 4th and 5th press (or it will go all the way back to inputting a "q") just so I can type a word with a double 's??? FUCK YOU MOM. So anyways I decided to explicitly leave the ball in her court and replied: "Hey no prob, gimme a call sometime!" I debated at length whether or not to use an exclamation point at the end. I decided to go with my gut and look jubilantly enthusiastic. I think I made a huge mistake. |
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#YOLO
Last edited by THEINCREDIBLEdork; 08-28-2008 at 10:07 AM. |
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#15 (permalink) |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 13,643
Internets: 247330
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She won't call you. It's not personal or anything... just stating a fact.
If you want to get with this flakey bitch (calling a bitch "flakey" is becoming more and more redundant as that seems to be the norm nowadays) you'll have to be the one leading the charge. |
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#19 (permalink) |
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Spice Master
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 17,969
Internets: 284106
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order a round of margaritas (usually works best in summer) and keep 'em coming. this works best in an area where you don't have to drive much, so you can wander around from bar to bar, and maybe stop at a few stops. works good where there are random oddity shops, so big cities usually work the best.
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#22 (permalink) |
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Emperor Meow
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So I saw the same girl at the same place saturday night. It was awkward, but not that awkward, pry because i was hammered. This female is kind of a bold creature. There was a game to be played but seemed more trouble than it was worth. I'm calling her play style tight-aggressive. So I concentrated my study on another female mentioned below. For now I am closing this case. It may be a little out of my league. I'm so heartbroken I may never play the piano ever again.
I met another love interest earlier in the day as well, we went on a special walk to the gas station together. I had her won, and thinking about how was going to unwrap my prize, but I made some critical errors, mainly due to drinking too much alcohol. These mating rituals of you humans are hard to understand. I have much to learn. Further study and analysis is needed. |
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#YOLO
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