The Official MILF Thread 2005

The Official MILF Thread 2005

[Repugnant Abomination]

First of all you can't make a thread like this without starting it off with pictures. You should be ashamed. Second of all someone post Mr. Blondes Mom.

[Orgazmo]

Small story that fits in this thread.

So I'm headed down to Muncie yesterday around 6:30. I'm on packerton not too far out of warsaw in search of 13. Tailing an SUV up to this point, I come to a rest on its ass at a stop sign in the shittiest block of houses ever known to man. At this stop sign, the driver of the vehicle in front of me exits and approaches my vehicle. I look up to find an incredibly hot earlyish 30's woman standing at my window. She's stick thin with huge perky tits (obviously fake) and an incredible face. She asks me where some town that I've never heard is from where we are...and I tell her I have no idea. I ask what road she's looking for to which she replies "13." * I tell her that, coincidentally enough, this is the road which I'm currently seeking. I tell her to let me pass her and then to just tail me and, when we get to the stop sign right before 13, I'll honk my horn, signaling our arrival at her road of glory. She quickly thanks me and gets back into her vehicle.

At this point I pass her vehicle as stated and drive as I had planned anyway to 13, about 15 minutes down the road. When I get to the T where Packerton meets 13, I honk and she starts to pass me. Instead of going completely around, though, she pulls up to the side of my car and motions for me to roll down my window. I do just that and, immediately following, she again thanks me and asks if I was in a hurry to get to where I was going. I replied that I wasn't (which wasn't entirely true). She proceeded to ask if I'd mind following her to make sure she found her house alright...because she wasn't exactly sure where on 13 she currently was. Being the nice guy that I am (and because she's smoking hot), I reply that I'd love to and it would be no problem.

She passes me and takes a turn onto 13 north, going the opposite direction which I had planned. I tail her as promised and, as I sort of suspected, she drives straight to her house, a feat which takes no more than 3 minutes. When she gets there, I pull up to her drive horizontally (kinda like if I was trying to block her drive off or something) and roll down my window to make sure my duties are finished. After taking a minute to gather her possessions from her SUV, she walks down to my car and leans into my passenger window and again thanks me for my help. At this point, she asks if there's "anything she can do to show me how much she really appreciates it."

I'm fucking shocked right now...because this chick is smoking hot and, like every youngish guy in the universe, the prospect of hooking up with a milf is mind-blowing.

I'm not sure exactly what I replied (this part is kinda a blur), but it was something to the effect of, "I think you may already have something in mind."

She instructed me to go ahead and pull into her driveway and meet her inside...and then quickly walked toward the house and entered.

Honestly, picture yourself in this situation. Imagine how incredible I'm feeling at this point, right?

Okay, I don't want to write anymore. I started making shit up at the * up there. The truth is that I told her where 13 was...but, instead of heeding my instructions, she ended up turning one road too early (onto 14) and probably spent the entire night searching for her house. She really was smoking hot, though.

[ May 21, 2005, 09:03 PM: Message edited by: Orgazmo ]

Absolutely incredibly mindblowingly dissapointed.

My face was about an inch away from the screen, "There's no way this story is true," "wow," "what a fucking badass," these were but a few of the phrases running through my head.

Great storytelling.

[Scarlet]

You really had me going there for a moment orgasmo. Too, bad you had to make it up.

[MAGICLIT]

I love the part where you got lazy and admitted it was all a hoax at the climax of the story, best part i believe.

[Repugnant Abomination]

Originally posted by Repugnant Abomination:
First of all you can't make a thread like this without starting it off with pictures. You should be ashamed. Second of all someone post Mr. Blondes Mom.

+1

[MAGICLIT]

post some MILF's already you mid-west fags

[Ironic Mustache]

Have I told my MILF story here yet? Or was it just the terrible mercedes wrecking aftermath I talked about?

[Orgazmo]

The answer is no.

[Ironic Mustache]

Pretty much it went down as follows:

Ever since I was about 12, my entire group of friends wanted to make the fuck with one of my friend’s mom. We of course were all too chicken shit to do anything, until we turned 16-17. That’s when the little comments and mild flirtations started. She didn’t seem to mind what she assumed was innocent enough, and even would play back sometimes, but always keeping things in check. Around the time I turned 20, my friend joined the army. She threw him a going away party that was fucking CRAZY. There was a DJ, a local underground rapper, a stripper, 3 kegs, and like 50 people. It was fantastic and we all got fucking SMASHED. Ironic Mustache was notably drunker than most. As luck would have it, there was a meteor shower that night so about 10 of us (including my friend’s mom) went to the front yard on a blanket and watched it. I leaned against the MILF for stability. I think I was so incredibly drunk that I either forgot she was my friend’s mom or just no longer cared, as I drunkenly and clumsily began to try to grope he boobs. She slapped my hand away. Not one to back down after such a minor setback, Ironic Mustache tries again. This time fairly successfully. After another 5 minutes or so, we all go back inside and pass out. No luck on this occasion and I then lost complete contact with her.

Fast forward 4 years later, my friend comes back in on leave and stays with his mom. I go to visit him, and end up spending a great deal of time at the house. We were drinking so much that I was never able to drive home and stayed on the couch in the living room. One drunken night, I told my friend that I was going to go sleep with his mom in her bed because the couch sucked. He laughed and said, “I dare you. She’ll fucking murder you.”

Wrong move asshole. I proceeded to his mom’s closed door and opened it up.

“What time is it, what do you want?”

I then said nothing, shut the door, and got in bed.

“What are you doing in here?????”

“Sleeping. Go to bed.”

She then decided it would be easier to just go to sleep than argue, so that’s what she did. I wasn’t through with her yet, no sir. The groping began.

“Move that hand or you’ll lose it.”

“It’ll be worth it.”

She slapped my hand away at that point, so I just went to sleep (passed out). The next night, I decided to try my luck again. This time, successfully. I guess I never realized how close I was, I just needed to be more aggressive. I full out fucked the lining out of my friend’s mom. Actually, that’s not entirely accurate. She pretty much broke me off. The old broad could fuck, I’ll give her that much. I continued to root her up on a consistent basis long after my friend went back to the army. She even paid for me to go Puerto Vallarta for 5 days with her and her friends.

Several months later, I was house sitting for her (also car sitting). I decided to have some people over for a plethora of tequila shots. <span class="glowbear" style="color: #ffffff; font-weight: bold; position:relative;width:100%;filter:glow(Color=000 000,Strength=4)">I of course, didn’t do any. After we had played that out, we decided to head somewhere else. I took the Mercedes. At some point on the way home, someone said “I bet this thing can’t do 140.” I decided to test his theory. We will never know because somewhere around 100 I hit a median and destroyed the undercarriage of the car.

To make a long story not quite as long, we’ve since become enemies and hate each other. I got her a rental on my expense to try and compensate for some of the damage and inconvenience (her car was completely covered by insurance). She kept the car for 3 months (amassing a sum of over $4,000 on my credit card) before wrecking the care, probably on purpose. I took the car back from her without her knowing, and returned it the rental company. She then threatened me in every way possible, but to no avail. I haven’t heard anything about this in months, but I’m still paying off my card. And that, my friends, is my MILF story.

[Ironic Mustache]

Oh yeah, another neat fact was that her 16 year old daughter and catholic school girl friends were completely in love with me, making the situation that much more interesting. I ingeniously stayed away from that like the plague.

[Orgazmo]

Originally posted by Ironic Mustache:
Oh yeah, another neat fact was that her 16 year old daughter and catholic school girl friends were completely in love with me, making the situation that much more interesting. I ingeniously stayed away from that like the plague.

Is she 18 now? If so...it may be a nice way to get back at the bitch for being such a cunt about the car.

[MAGICLIT]

yeah, do a "Cruel Intentions" kinda thing and video tape you screwing her from the back and post it for the world to see, that would be sweet.

[Ironic Mustache]

Nope still 16.

[MAGICLIT]

where the MILF's at FC?