Dear, Ironic Mustache... - Nubblies.net Forums

Ironic Mustache · 02-08-2005, 05:12 PM

In my short time here on earth, I’ve been able to amass a cache of knowledge that would make Confucius look like a babbling retard. I feel it’s my duty to bestow my wisdom upon all nubblites, in an attempt to make this forum a little bit more of a superpower. I’ll now open up the thread to a little Q and A, where you can ask me anything you’ve been wondering about. Why is the sky blue? What’s the meaning of life? How can you solve world hunger? Those were just a few examples of questions I will answer in great detail. I leave this thread for now and await replies.

Orgazmo · 02-08-2005, 05:23 PM

Is it possible to spread herpes via oral sex if the giver has a cold sore in their mouth?

moving to advice line...

[ February 08, 2005, 02:24 PM: Message edited by: Orgazmo ]

Ironic Mustache · 02-08-2005, 06:04 PM

The answer is a resounding yes! I know from experience.

Orgazmo · 02-08-2005, 07:22 PM

Wow! Who knew?

Ironic Mustache · 02-08-2005, 08:24 PM

"Herpes" actually come from the greek god, "Hermes" who was a messenger. He delivered information, much like who whores deliver blistering lesions. They changed the "m" to a "p" because of the puss that usually accompanies most herpes outbreaks.

02-08-2005, 08:49 PM

Ironic Mustache,

How can I best sell my car?

I want to get a good price for it (so trade in is immediately out of the question), but I also would wish this process to be easy and timely.

[ February 08, 2005, 05:50 PM: Message edited by: DJ FC ]

Ironic Mustache · 02-08-2005, 09:12 PM

The answer you seek, is simple. Offer free oral pleasure with every test drive. This will quadruple the amount of interest taken in your vehicle. Off a special “road head” option in case that’s what they desire. I predict your car will be sold within a fortnight.

THEINCREDIBLEdork · 02-08-2005, 09:30 PM

So what is the meaning of life?

02-08-2005, 09:39 PM

Dear, Ironic Mustache...

How did I do on my exam today?

Ironic Mustache · 02-08-2005, 09:43 PM

The meaning of life is quite simple actually. Acquire as much possible money as you can, and then waste it before your children and/or greedy ass wife get their hands on it. Blow it all on hookers and cocaine in some third world country where it will last a lot longer. I hear costa rica is nice this time of year.

DJ FC, you got a 85% on your test. Not bad, but get your shit together if you want to bring your overall grade up to an A.

Niger Angelus · 02-08-2005, 11:22 PM

Why is my poo sometimes green?

George Sherman · 02-09-2005, 12:01 AM

Why can't we have a Poo box?

THEINCREDIBLEdork · 02-14-2005, 11:23 PM

Dear Ironic,

Should I go with pastels, or primary colors for this spring?

silver and cold · 02-15-2005, 01:01 AM

Why does the earth spin, and not..say..bounce?

02-15-2005, 01:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ironic Mustache:
DJ FC, you got a 85% on your test. Not bad, but get your shit together if you want to bring your overall grade up to an A.

You were wrong.

Ironic Mustache is a quack!

George Sherman · 02-15-2005, 02:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by George Sherman:
Why can't we have a Poo box?

Ironic Mustache · 02-15-2005, 03:04 PM

Sorry, I forgot about this thread. Looks like I have a lot of catching up to do here…. Let me just open up a soder and get to work.

SPKSHHHHH! (that’s my e-impression of a pepsi being opened)

Now then, lets begin.

Niger asked why his poo is often green. Poo turns green on account of too much protein and sodium in your diet. Lowering your intake of materials high in protein and sodium will bring your poo back to a healthy brown hue. One thing you’ll definitely want to avoid, is semen. It may be hard at first, but after the first few days I’m sure it gets easier. You’ll have to decide what you treasure more… Brown poo, or white spoo…

George Sherman asked why we cannot have a poo box. It’s because we already have a sex box, and sex is better than poo. You should have posed the question, why not a “cure for aids box” or a “neverending supply of alcohol box.” You’ve got to set more lofty ambitions George… Poo is not the answer to everything. Although this morning it does seem to be in every question.

THEINCREDIBLEdork asked whether he should go with pastels or primary colors this spring. Primary colors will be out, so definitely pastels. Cooler tones will give off a suave and sophisticated aura. Primary colors will be far too abrasive for any noteworthy fashion critic to take seriously. You strike me as a pastel green guy. Go with that.

Silver and Cold asked why the earth spun instead of bounced. The answer is very tricky… The earth actually DOES bounce. The reason you don’t feel it is because the entire universe also bounces simultaneously. This is also the same reason for why the earth spins. Here’s a fun and educational experiment you can try. Take a basketball and hold it straight out in front of you. Then try to drop it without the ball spinning at all… It’s virtually impossible right? Now imagine someone dribbling that ball… It spins even more, correct? The universe spins and bounces because god is playing a never ending game of two on two basketball with Vishnu, Buddha and Thor.

DJ FC said that Ironic Mustache was wrong and is a quack but I never claimed to be a prophet yet, only a genius. Foretelling the future is for a future thread I predict. If that premonition comes true, THEN i will take responsibility for all wrong predictions.

George Sherman asked AGAIN about the poo box. This is STILL my answer:

Quote:

George Sherman asked why we cannot have a poo box. It’s because we already have a sex box, and sex is better than poo. You should have posed the question, why not a “cure for aids box” or a “neverending supply of alcohol box.” You’ve got to set more lofty ambitions George… Poo is not the answer to everything. Although this morning it does seem to be in every question.

[ February 15, 2005, 12:05 PM: Message edited by: Ironic Mustache ]

02-15-2005, 04:54 PM

Ironic Mustache,

Why does beer taste good?

Orgazmo · 02-15-2005, 05:37 PM

If a rat were the same size as a human...and then human/rat fights were held...which species would normally win?

Ironic Mustache · 02-15-2005, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DJ FC:
Ironic Mustache,

Why does beer taste good?

You'll have to be more specific as some beer tastes like boiled horse urine.

Ironic Mustache · 02-15-2005, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Orgazmo:
If a rat were the same size as a human...and then human/rat fights were held...which species would normally win?

It would go on a fight to fight basis... Are we talking about trained human fighters or jerks off the street? Trained rats that know jiu jitsu, or bullshit rats that scurry around in sewers.

Actually, Splinter from the teenage mutant ninja turtles would fuck up just about anyone. I'll go with that.

Orgazmo · 02-15-2005, 05:54 PM

No, that's a shitty answer.

We're talking about a big black guy (no training, just a badass) vs an average rat (not a lab rat...like a sewer rat).

02-15-2005, 06:04 PM

How many sleeping pills can I take before I die?

George Sherman · 02-15-2005, 06:10 PM

How come when I jack off, post ejaculation my dick hurts and is very red, and a tad swollen?

Ironic Mustache · 02-15-2005, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DJ FC:
How many sleeping pills can I take before I die?

I'm not sure about this actually... I keep falling asleep every time I try to conduct this experiment.

02-08-2005, 05:12 PM	#1 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	In my short time here on earth, I’ve been able to amass a cache of knowledge that would make Confucius look like a babbling retard. I feel it’s my duty to bestow my wisdom upon all nubblites, in an attempt to make this forum a little bit more of a superpower. I’ll now open up the thread to a little Q and A, where you can ask me anything you’ve been wondering about. Why is the sky blue? What’s the meaning of life? How can you solve world hunger? Those were just a few examples of questions I will answer in great detail. I leave this thread for now and await replies.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

02-08-2005, 06:04 PM	#3 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	The answer is a resounding yes! I know from experience.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

02-08-2005, 08:24 PM	#5 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	"Herpes" actually come from the greek god, "Hermes" who was a messenger. He delivered information, much like who whores deliver blistering lesions. They changed the "m" to a "p" because of the puss that usually accompanies most herpes outbreaks.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

02-08-2005, 08:49 PM	#6 (permalink)
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a	Ironic Mustache, How can I best sell my car? I want to get a good price for it (so trade in is immediately out of the question), but I also would wish this process to be easy and timely. [ February 08, 2005, 05:50 PM: Message edited by: DJ FC ]
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a

02-08-2005, 09:12 PM	#7 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	The answer you seek, is simple. Offer free oral pleasure with every test drive. This will quadruple the amount of interest taken in your vehicle. Off a special “road head” option in case that’s what they desire. I predict your car will be sold within a fortnight.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

02-08-2005, 05:23 PM	#2 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,733 Internets: 311447	Is it possible to spread herpes via oral sex if the giver has a cold sore in their mouth? moving to advice line... [ February 08, 2005, 02:24 PM: Message edited by: Orgazmo ]

02-08-2005, 07:22 PM	#4 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,733 Internets: 311447	Wow! Who knew?

02-08-2005, 09:30 PM	#8 (permalink)
THEINCREDIBLEdork Emperor Meow Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 9,353 Internets: 290966	So what is the meaning of life?
	#YOLO

02-08-2005, 09:39 PM	#9 (permalink)
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a	Dear, Ironic Mustache... How did I do on my exam today?
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a

02-08-2005, 09:43 PM	#10 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	The meaning of life is quite simple actually. Acquire as much possible money as you can, and then waste it before your children and/or greedy ass wife get their hands on it. Blow it all on hookers and cocaine in some third world country where it will last a lot longer. I hear costa rica is nice this time of year. DJ FC, you got a 85% on your test. Not bad, but get your shit together if you want to bring your overall grade up to an A.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

02-08-2005, 11:22 PM	#11 (permalink)
Niger Angelus We still believe. Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 4,697 Internets: 216	Why is my poo sometimes green?
	I enjoy knives and fire.

02-09-2005, 12:01 AM	#12 (permalink)
George Sherman Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Fullerton & Damen Posts: 1,109 Internets: 14	Why can't we have a Poo box?
	...to abuse the testicles of the establishment.

02-14-2005, 11:23 PM	#13 (permalink)
THEINCREDIBLEdork Emperor Meow Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 9,353 Internets: 290966	Dear Ironic, Should I go with pastels, or primary colors for this spring?
	#YOLO

02-15-2005, 01:01 AM	#14 (permalink)
silver and cold Ish... Join Date: May 2003 Location: this nowhere Posts: 1,680 Internets: 10	Why does the earth spin, and not..say..bounce?
	the killer in me is the killer in you.

02-15-2005, 04:54 PM	#18 (permalink)
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a	Ironic Mustache, Why does beer taste good?
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a

02-15-2005, 05:37 PM	#19 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,733 Internets: 311447	If a rat were the same size as a human...and then human/rat fights were held...which species would normally win?

02-15-2005, 05:54 PM	#22 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,733 Internets: 311447	No, that's a shitty answer. We're talking about a big black guy (no training, just a badass) vs an average rat (not a lab rat...like a sewer rat).

02-15-2005, 06:04 PM	#23 (permalink)
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a	How many sleeping pills can I take before I die?
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a

02-15-2005, 06:10 PM	#24 (permalink)
George Sherman Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Fullerton & Damen Posts: 1,109 Internets: 14	How come when I jack off, post ejaculation my dick hurts and is very red, and a tad swollen?
	...to abuse the testicles of the establishment.