Secret Santa 2k9 - Page 4 - Nubblies.net Forums

Secret Fucking Santa · 12-30-2009, 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ugly Bastard

I believe that is supposed to be Jesus Christ chained up in a padlock. I presume the key I received in one my cards earlier will free Jesus. I'm still debating on whether or not I will let him go. Now let's open that package.

You better follow the clues I left you on the cards to receive the rest of your gift(s).

I believe one of them read "you must look into baby Jesus's heart to find salvation"

Ho Ho Ho MERRY CHRISTMAS UGLY BASTARD ! ! !

Secret Fucking Santa · 12-30-2009, 09:18 AM

P.S. take pictures

DDTempest · 12-30-2009, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Blonde

ftr why hasnt dick masterson updated in like a year?

Because he is like Maddox ... a fucking one trick pony that cashed out and moved on with his life.

Ugly Bastard · 12-30-2009, 12:53 PM

I unchained Jesus this morning to find the only thing keeping him from being gutted open were a few mere Band-Aids.

Let's gut this motherfucker open and see what's inside, shall we?

Why... it's a miniature Santa Claus, a coin featuring a woman's face and tits on one side (heads) and her ass on the other side (tails), a pretty nice looking pen that vibrates when you click on it rather than dispense ink, some weird ornament featuring an unidenfiable cartoon character, and three poker chips with small holes cut through the middle.

Above and beyond the call of duty, Santa. My gift came with seemingly endless wonders.

Orgazmo · 12-30-2009, 01:06 PM

I really like that Santa's expression. It's perfect for being found inside of baby jesus.

Secret Fucking Santa · 12-30-2009, 03:54 PM

There is an actual pen included in the pen as well, you just have to twist the tip and it comes out! I stole it from James Bond so you can use it on the ladies.

And place me in water and I grow to eight times my normal size!!!

DDTempest · 12-30-2009, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ugly Bastard

HAHAHAHAHAA look at all the Jesus guts all over the place

Orgazmo · 01-04-2010, 06:41 PM

Has received their gift and posted the contents. Good job to you and your Santa:
UB
DD
Ninja

Has received gift and NOT posted the contents. You are fucking worthless. Your Santa is reliable, though.
Blonde (even though you said you would do it "tonight, or at least by tomorrow" over a week ago)
Dent

Has not received gift. Or...isn't in the country to which the gift was sent, so hasn't acknowledged receiving gift.
GWB
Gaz

In short, there are at least 4 worthless people participating this year. I was under the impression that we cut the fat with Shaw being eliminated. What's going on, gentlemen?

Orgazmo · 01-04-2010, 06:55 PM

Also, based on the information in this thread and how much I perceive each of your worth, this is how I think this year ended up:

DDTempest · 01-04-2010, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orgazmo

Also, based on the information in this thread and how much I perceive each of your worth, this is how I think this year ended up:

Way to spoil the secrets of Christmas by making it clear you are not UB's secret santa ... Merry HOHOHO UB.

Orgazmo · 01-04-2010, 11:36 PM

I would never go to the effort of buying a baby doll, coloring it to be like jesus, and stuffing it with red streamers. I'm pretty sure UB realizes that.

f3lix · 01-05-2010, 12:40 AM

Honestly, the failures in both years make me continue to be happy I haven't participated in this unreliable fag-fest.

Orgazmo · 01-05-2010, 01:48 AM

Thanks for being honest.

DDTempest · 01-07-2010, 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orgazmo

Has received gift and NOT posted the contents. You are fucking worthless. Your Santa is reliable, though.
Blonde (even though you said you would do it "tonight, or at least by tomorrow" over a week ago)
Dent

Has not received gift. Or...isn't in the country to which the gift was sent, so hasn't acknowledged receiving gift.
GWB
Gaz

What the fuck is this shit you assholes?

DJ FC · 01-07-2010, 02:19 AM

I just received my gift.

It was epic.

Pictures to follow.

DJ FC · 01-07-2010, 02:32 AM

Ugly Bastard · 01-07-2010, 11:10 AM

Someone went way above and beyond.

DDTempest · 01-07-2010, 11:10 AM

I find myself extremely jealous of the autographed Al Roker pictures.

HAHA! BONUS GIFT: I also received a pharmacy brochure on erectile dysfunction (from Osco, which is no longer in business) tucked inside my book, truly a Christmas miracle

THEINCREDIBLEdork · 01-07-2010, 07:44 PM

Bucky badger? who else lives in WI?

Mr. Blonde · 01-08-2010, 08:06 AM

Sorry for the delay niggers. I received this on the night i lost use of my right hand. I'm timing the post time, left handed only.

this was hard as fuck to cut through.

contents include: a recycled card, a book on economics in britain, two types of tea tree shower gel, a used (badass) watchmen mug, 'a confession' by leo tolstoy (a religious reference to me), a rain meter?, two miniature fantasy figurines, a jar of marmite (disgusting btw, nice black out korea reference though), and a broken Thing figure (what is that, pewter?)

Clearly Dent.

in the tolstoy book, i found this little fucker:

what should i do tonight.....

Did you get a bitch to write this?

Can i get her email?

Pretty kickass Secret Santa gift. Thanks dude.

By now it should be clear I am Orgazmos Secret Santa. On top of kind of forgetting about it till late December, my hand really threw a wrench in being able to not only tape up a box by myself, also do what is required because of the nature of his gift and get it to the post office or even write an address. You will get it, I just need a little longer. Sorry.

This took 29 minutes

Repugnant Abomination · 01-08-2010, 11:54 AM

I really liked A Confession - if anything it's interesting.

Dent · 01-08-2010, 11:58 AM

The thing broke? he fucking cost £5 to send alone, the 'rain meter' thing is actually for keeping your spliffs in shape if you pre roll a joint, there's a baggy in there too.

ps the shower gel is for your bacne, I planned on making a little fake bacne case with some instructions for faggots.

Orgazmo · 01-08-2010, 02:17 PM

I forgive you for your tardiness, Blonde.

Orgazmo · 01-16-2010, 10:39 PM

It was one year ago today that DDTempest fake burned his gift from Shaw because it was so late.

I'm celebrating that anniversary sans a Secret Santa gift.

In other words, on a Secret Santa shittiness scale of 1 to Shaw...Blonde is soon to be off the charts.

Sure, he has excuses and actually does seem to care...but, like a wise man once said, excuses are like assholes. Everyone has one, and they all feel weird when licked.

The good news is that I won't have to wait quite as long between Secret Santa gifts as the rest of you. Unless, of course, I get Blonde again next year. I'd still have to wait a long time then. Because he's a bad person.

Mr. Blonde · 01-17-2010, 06:16 AM

didnt i fake burn my gift from HCW/Dent and spoil DD's plan?

12-30-2009, 09:18 AM	#77 (permalink)
Secret Fucking Santa Ho Ho Ho, Hoes Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: North Pole Posts: 62 Internets: 3709	P.S. take pictures
	Ho, Ho, Ho motherfuckers.

12-30-2009, 12:53 PM	#79 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	I unchained Jesus this morning to find the only thing keeping him from being gutted open were a few mere Band-Aids. Let's gut this motherfucker open and see what's inside, shall we? Why... it's a miniature Santa Claus, a coin featuring a woman's face and tits on one side (heads) and her ass on the other side (tails), a pretty nice looking pen that vibrates when you click on it rather than dispense ink, some weird ornament featuring an unidenfiable cartoon character, and three poker chips with small holes cut through the middle. Above and beyond the call of duty, Santa. My gift came with seemingly endless wonders.
	Last edited by Ugly Bastard; 12-30-2009 at 12:54 PM.

12-30-2009, 03:54 PM	#81 (permalink)
Secret Fucking Santa Ho Ho Ho, Hoes Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: North Pole Posts: 62 Internets: 3709	There is an actual pen included in the pen as well, you just have to twist the tip and it comes out! I stole it from James Bond so you can use it on the ladies. And place me in water and I grow to eight times my normal size!!!
	Ho, Ho, Ho motherfuckers.

01-07-2010, 02:19 AM	#90 (permalink)
DJ FC MURICAN Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Virginia Posts: 5,136 Internets: 253094	I just received my gift. It was epic. Pictures to follow.
	The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them.

01-07-2010, 02:32 AM	#91 (permalink)
DJ FC MURICAN Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Virginia Posts: 5,136 Internets: 253094
	The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them.

12-30-2009, 01:06 PM	#80 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,728 Internets: 311447	I really like that Santa's expression. It's perfect for being found inside of baby jesus.

01-04-2010, 06:41 PM	#83 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,728 Internets: 311447	Has received their gift and posted the contents. Good job to you and your Santa: UB DD Ninja Has received gift and NOT posted the contents. You are fucking worthless. Your Santa is reliable, though. Blonde (even though you said you would do it "tonight, or at least by tomorrow" over a week ago) Dent Has not received gift. Or...isn't in the country to which the gift was sent, so hasn't acknowledged receiving gift. GWB Gaz In short, there are at least 4 worthless people participating this year. I was under the impression that we cut the fat with Shaw being eliminated. What's going on, gentlemen?

01-04-2010, 06:55 PM	#84 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,728 Internets: 311447	Also, based on the information in this thread and how much I perceive each of your worth, this is how I think this year ended up:

01-04-2010, 11:36 PM	#86 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,728 Internets: 311447	I would never go to the effort of buying a baby doll, coloring it to be like jesus, and stuffing it with red streamers. I'm pretty sure UB realizes that.

01-05-2010, 12:40 AM	#87 (permalink)
f3lix Gangnam Style Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: DH's Massage Parlor Posts: 6,383 Internets: 213510	Honestly, the failures in both years make me continue to be happy I haven't participated in this unreliable fag-fest.

01-05-2010, 01:48 AM	#88 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,728 Internets: 311447	Thanks for being honest.

01-07-2010, 11:10 AM	#92 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	Someone went way above and beyond.

01-07-2010, 07:44 PM	#94 (permalink)
THEINCREDIBLEdork Emperor Meow Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 9,350 Internets: 290966	Bucky badger? who else lives in WI?
	#YOLO

01-08-2010, 08:06 AM	#95 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 284106	Sorry for the delay niggers. I received this on the night i lost use of my right hand. I'm timing the post time, left handed only. this was hard as fuck to cut through. contents include: a recycled card, a book on economics in britain, two types of tea tree shower gel, a used (badass) watchmen mug, 'a confession' by leo tolstoy (a religious reference to me), a rain meter?, two miniature fantasy figurines, a jar of marmite (disgusting btw, nice black out korea reference though), and a broken Thing figure (what is that, pewter?) Clearly Dent. in the tolstoy book, i found this little fucker: what should i do tonight..... Did you get a bitch to write this? Can i get her email? Pretty kickass Secret Santa gift. Thanks dude. By now it should be clear I am Orgazmos Secret Santa. On top of kind of forgetting about it till late December, my hand really threw a wrench in being able to not only tape up a box by myself, also do what is required because of the nature of his gift and get it to the post office or even write an address. You will get it, I just need a little longer. Sorry. This took 29 minutes
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna Last edited by Mr. Blonde; 01-08-2010 at 08:09 AM.

01-08-2010, 11:54 AM	#96 (permalink)
Repugnant Abomination Almost there... Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,979 Internets: 164547	I really liked A Confession - if anything it's interesting.

01-08-2010, 11:58 AM	#97 (permalink)
Dent Lost in Hilbert Spice Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Surrounded by knaves and fools Posts: 3,523 Internets: 183146	The thing broke? he fucking cost £5 to send alone, the 'rain meter' thing is actually for keeping your spliffs in shape if you pre roll a joint, there's a baggy in there too. ps the shower gel is for your bacne, I planned on making a little fake bacne case with some instructions for faggots.

01-08-2010, 02:17 PM	#98 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,728 Internets: 311447	I forgive you for your tardiness, Blonde.

01-16-2010, 10:39 PM	#99 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,728 Internets: 311447	It was one year ago today that DDTempest fake burned his gift from Shaw because it was so late. I'm celebrating that anniversary sans a Secret Santa gift. In other words, on a Secret Santa shittiness scale of 1 to Shaw...Blonde is soon to be off the charts. Sure, he has excuses and actually does seem to care...but, like a wise man once said, excuses are like assholes. Everyone has one, and they all feel weird when licked. The good news is that I won't have to wait quite as long between Secret Santa gifts as the rest of you. Unless, of course, I get Blonde again next year. I'd still have to wait a long time then. Because he's a bad person.

01-17-2010, 06:16 AM	#100 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 284106	didnt i fake burn my gift from HCW/Dent and spoil DD's plan?
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

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