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12-07-2011, 11:12 AM
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#51 (permalink) |
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Ahoy Fuckbag
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: In a pineapple under the sea
Posts: 3,540
Internets: 187030
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Guys, Christmas is over. My gift was a box layered with awesomeness
 layer after layer of gifts that each would have been magnificent on their own. I feel sorry for everyone else getting gifts that are not these from their secret santa. Pics / writeup coming within the hour. |
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12-07-2011, 11:40 AM
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#52 (permalink) |
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Ahoy Fuckbag
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: In a pineapple under the sea
Posts: 3,540
Internets: 187030
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I frankly don't know whether to transcript the letter first or let the pictures do the talking ... so I'll spoiler the letter here, you can read before or after checking out the AMAZING FUCKING HAUL Santa gave me this year.
DEAREST DDTEMPEST IT HAS COME TO MRS CLAUSES AND MY ATTENTION THAT MANY ARE CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR PUSILANIMOUS TENDENCIES THIS YEAR WE NOTICED THAT YOU IS AFFLIATED AS A NINJA ON THE SEXBEAR INTERNET WEBNUBBLIES ENCLOSED PLEASE FIND THE FOLLOWING ITEMSNOW GET OUT THERE AND LEARN SOME KICK SOME ASS AND EXIT THE WORLD OF PUSILANIMITY ONCE AND FOR ALL AS THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT KICKING ASS AND BEING STEALTHY ABOUT IT. YOU CAN CHOOSE TO PARTICIPATE IN THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS AFTER YOU GAIN EXPERIENCE SEMPER FI GRASSHOPPER SANTA All mispellings, capitalizations, and punctuation is accurate to the original hand-written letter. Now the pics ... The opening: the chucks: "Warning Use and misuse of martial arts weapons involve serious risks, including injury, disability, and death. Weapons are sold only for training only under expert supervision, for demonstration of forms collection or display. Inspect weapon before each use to ensure they are in proper condition: do not use weapons for sparring or contact. User assumes all risks of injury. liquid courage: anonymity: bloodletting of foes: the language: the films: gently used ninja manual: the letter: This is simply a wonderful bounty of gifts. I am refilled with the true spirit of Nubblies Christmas. |
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12-07-2011, 11:49 AM
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#53 (permalink) |
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Ahoy Fuckbag
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: In a pineapple under the sea
Posts: 3,540
Internets: 187030
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Almost forgot:
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12-07-2011, 01:54 PM
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#57 (permalink) |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 13,643
Internets: 247330
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Just a friendly reminder to my Santa: if you could please be sure my gift arrives at destination address (Gaz's house) by the 22nd to ensure that I have a gift to open this year, I would appreciate it. Lest I be thought of as a hypocrite, I can promise that my Santee's gift will be going in the mail by Monday the 19th at the latest.
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12-07-2011, 07:25 PM
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#61 (permalink) | |
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Ahoy Fuckbag
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: In a pineapple under the sea
Posts: 3,540
Internets: 187030
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12-07-2011, 08:55 PM
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#63 (permalink) | |
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Ho Ho Ho, Hoes
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: North Pole
Posts: 62
Internets: 3709
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Ho, Ho, Ho motherfuckers.
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12-14-2011, 08:52 PM
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#66 (permalink) |
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Ho Ho Ho, Hoes
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: North Pole
Posts: 62
Internets: 3709
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To Fruit's Secret Santa: If you haven't yet sent the package, message Tits for a new address. If you have, that's fine, it will find it's way to him.
HO HO HO HO HO |
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Ho, Ho, Ho motherfuckers.
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12-15-2011, 07:51 PM
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#71 (permalink) | |||||||||||
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Level 20 Holothetan
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Space
Posts: 5,245
Internets: 210144
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Sorry Santa. Worked late. I KNEW I FUCKING SHOULD HAVE QUIT.
Oh well. Water under the bridge. OH MY GOD A HUGE BOX!
Details to come as I investigate.  I OPENED THE FUCKING BOX! WHATS INSIDE?!
A FUCKING BAG!
Wait a minute... there's a card.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Looks to be quite the bounty. But just what the hell are those 2 wrapped up things in the back?
DOUBLE J.
HOLY HELL! Framed badassery!
That long package in the middle?
A FUCKING BLOW DART GUN.
PEW PEW PEW PEW!
I've always wanted a blow dart gun. THAAAAAAAANK YOUUUUUU SANTA!!!!! Summary of haul: - Badass framed picture - BLOW DART GUN - BEER (La Fin Du Monde, Franziskaner, and 3 others I have never had before) - Porno mag - Hooker trading cards - Autographed photo of Judge Judy - honey mustard and onion nibblers SHIT YEAH. | |||||||||||
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Last edited by ninjaface; 12-15-2011 at 08:55 PM. |
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12-15-2011, 09:08 PM
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#72 (permalink) |
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Ho Ho Ho, Hoes
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: North Pole
Posts: 62
Internets: 3709
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That is 100% NOT the packaging the items were originally sent in. Interesting...
I notice that a few beers are missing. This makes me think that maybe some broke (even though the god damned things were individually bubble wrapped) and they repackaged the whole thing? If so, that's both sad and impressive on their part. It seems you're missing 1 Franziskaner and the Gulden Draak, probably the best beer of the bunch  God damn. |
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Ho, Ho, Ho motherfuckers.
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12-15-2011, 09:20 PM
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#73 (permalink) | |
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Level 20 Holothetan
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Space
Posts: 5,245
Internets: 210144
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