a.) You have a girlfriend. She is a bitch. She is a supreme cockerly of a bitch. She complains about anything and everything you do, the size of your wang, the fact that you don't have a good job, the fact all of your friends are losers, she never gives you a moment of peace. She expects everything from you, and it's still not good enough. You can't kill her, she's invincible. You can't kill yourself, although she makes you want to at least 16 hours per day. Of course, she'll still have sex with you, and let me tell you, she's damn good.
2.) You have no girlfriend. You never will. You are so unlucky that you won't ever be able to even get a girl to have sex with you. Ever. No sexual intercourse, and no oral sex. Never. Anything else you can manage to pull off with girls you meet at some parties or what-not. But at least you don't have Satan as a girlfriend.
d.) choose between a.) and 2.)
me - ouch, i have not yet made up my mind
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