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Old 01-10-2007, 04:50 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Excuses.

I need you guys to give me some plausible excuses for being late/not turning up. Mainly for college and meeting girls, and i'm running low on reasons for being late!

Sorry i'm late/wasn't here I..

Had a flat tyre

Had diarrhea
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Old 01-10-2007, 06:52 AM   #2 (permalink)
*Dislikes ham
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Just stop apologizing for being late.

Putting the sensual in non-consensual.
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Old 01-10-2007, 12:28 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Stuck in traffic
Set the alarm incorrectly
forgot about dailight savings time
had "family matters" to take care of
"personal issues"
had to take my dog to the vet
didnt feel like comming
won the lottery
got aids


The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them.
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Old 01-10-2007, 03:00 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Family matters is a good one.

Women can always pull the period shit out.

there is little I wouldn't do for a dolphin.
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Old 01-10-2007, 03:03 PM   #5 (permalink)
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"Had to battle a werewolf" normally works.
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Old 01-10-2007, 03:16 PM   #6 (permalink)
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"You aren't important to me."
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Old 01-10-2007, 04:55 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beebs
"You aren't important to me."
I would love to see my cunt of a business teacher's reaction.
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Old 01-10-2007, 09:25 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I'm a big fan of "I was on my way when I realized that I had forgotten my keys, I had to turn around and go all the way home to get them"

LEGALIZE CRIME!
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Old 01-10-2007, 11:35 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Food poisoning is decent.

My dad used "explosive diarrhea" to take a final exam after he slept in.
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Old 01-10-2007, 11:52 PM   #10 (permalink)
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"I had crippling morning wood"

#YOLO
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Old 01-11-2007, 01:28 AM   #11 (permalink)
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The trick to a good lie is to make it so grand, so outrageous and so complex that the person doesn't believe you could make something like that up. The more detail the better.
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Old 01-11-2007, 01:31 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I cut my penis off while masturbating... works like a charm.


The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them.
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Old 01-12-2007, 07:08 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StabMaster Arson
I'm a big fan of "I was on my way when I realized that I had forgotten my keys, I had to turn around and go all the way home to get them"
Used this today, worked like a charm.
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Old 01-30-2007, 12:18 PM   #14 (permalink)
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After killing off several grandmothers, and most of my extended family, in various excuses, I've become a frequent user of "I started my car to let it warm up and I locked my keys in the car. I had to wait for AAA to come unlock them for me."

The sad part is, I've used the excuse many times, and 95% of the time it was true.

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Old 01-30-2007, 03:29 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Who the hell are you?
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Old 01-30-2007, 03:31 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Besides just some fag, that is.
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Old 01-30-2007, 03:32 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Oh you know. Just a run of the mill fag.

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Old 01-30-2007, 06:51 PM   #18 (permalink)
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oh hey, sup fag?

#YOLO
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Old 01-30-2007, 10:10 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by George W. Bush
Stuck in traffic
Set the alarm incorrectly
forgot about dailight savings time
had "family matters" to take care of
"personal issues"
had to take my dog to the vet
didnt feel like comming
won the lottery
got aids


Spoken like the True GW!!!!!!!!!!!!! Clinton 2008!!!!!

Nubblies: If we put up with Felix, we will put up with you too.
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Old 01-31-2007, 12:06 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Just a matter of formality, I suppose, but I have to ask, since I'm a girl, can I necessarily be a fag? Or is "fag" regardless of gender?

Just curious, before we progress....

In the meantime, oh, not much, just doing the usual fag things.

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Old 01-31-2007, 02:06 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Dyke or Butch not fag


The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them.
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Old 01-31-2007, 03:28 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Girls don't survive on nubblies for a reason.
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Old 01-31-2007, 03:40 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Are there some pictures of you that you can post? I don't get to talk to girls much.

#YOLO

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Old 01-31-2007, 04:29 PM   #24 (permalink)
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You can't go around claiming you're a split tail without proof.
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Old 01-31-2007, 05:10 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Usually saved for MSN, but.
Get your tits out?

This is not just aimed at the girl, so as not to be sexist.

there is little I wouldn't do for a dolphin.
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