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01-26-2003, 10:21 PM
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#10 (permalink) |
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Roscoe P. Coldchain
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Stabbin Cabin
Posts: 2,759
Internets: 1425
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you can feed a child in a third world country for 45 cents a day. women can get paid $3.95 a minute to talk dirty on the phone... why not teach these starving little fuxxors to talk dirty?
was that correct usage of fuxxors? [This message has been edited by StabMaster Arson (edited January 26, 2003).] |
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01-27-2003, 02:22 PM
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#13 (permalink) |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 13,643
Internets: 247330
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Random Thought of the Day 1.27.03
Girlfriends are like cars. Yeah, you might have one.....but that doesn't mean you can't be shopping around for a new one. © Ugly Bastardia Industries -Ugly Bastard [This message has been edited by Ugly Bastard (edited January 27, 2003).] |
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01-28-2003, 03:38 PM
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#17 (permalink) |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 3,698
Internets: 10
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Random Thought of the Day 01.28.03
Someone needs to invent some dry-erase markers that come laced with poison that is deadly to the touch so that I can use them and the next time some retarded fucker decides to make fingered erasure marks on my whiteboard on my door he will die a slow horrible death and choke on his own vomit. |
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01-28-2003, 04:19 PM
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#18 (permalink) |
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Member
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 73
Internets: 10
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Random Thought of the Day
Salesmen are a lot like rapists. They won't take no for an answer and they leave you stuck with something that you'll either throw in the trash, flush down the toilet, or sell on Ebay. [This message has been edited by Mister Bater (edited January 28, 2003).] |
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01-28-2003, 06:04 PM
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#19 (permalink) |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: right behind you
Posts: 931
Internets: 306
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random thoughts of the day
-it makes little kids giggle when you stick your tongue out at them... it doesn't always work with old people unless you flick it up and down really fast. -I used to know a guy we all called 'the hammer', I don't really remember how he got that nickname, but, boy, he could really put away that ham. -the best way I can think of to pick up a leper is to have them crawl into a brrlap sack first, that way things don't get messy. -if, for any reason, your penis accidently pops out of your pants whilst dancing, just ignore it and keep on dancing... nothing can stop the dance. -sometimes, on a nice warm summer day, it's fun to go out into a big open field, lay on your back and just practice being dead. -sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have big claws and lots of fur and sharp teeth and a ferrari. -I wonder if there were any indians named 'Herb'. -it would be a funny joke to sneak into someone's house while they're sleeping and take all of their valuables... after they woke up, they'd probably think they were robbed. -if I had a dollar for every time I had a dolllar, I'd have all my money back. -I hope hell gets full before I die, so I can get bumped to heaven. -lunch is the least important meal of the day. -an adult body has enough blood in it to completely soak through a couch and leave a nasty stain on my carpet. -two out of four dentists agree that they would rather be gynecologists. -do you ever wonder about the walrus? neither do I -I think that, someday, it would be fun to get a big motorcycle and lots of tattoos and a hell's angels jacket and a long beard and a chocolate milkshake. -I used to think that the best job in the world would be to sit on a comfortable couch and watch tv all day while beautiful women rubbed my feet and trained monkeys brought me anything I wanted. -if you get bored anytime while reading this, just think of unicorns... then you'll feel pretty damn lucky that you can read. -I'll bet that if someone REALLY was the son of God and they went into the food court of the mall and tried to tell people, no one would believe him... probably because I had been drinking. -man, I wish that I had Jessie's girl. -when dealing with angry people in tense situations, the best thing to do is stay calm, listen carefully to everything they have to say, then laugh. -have you ever peered into the dark, cold, heartless eyes of a lop-eared bunny? -if I had 3 wishes, I'd probably use the third one for world peace, just so I didn't feel bad about the money, robots, and women... wait... nevermind about world peace. -wouldn't it be nice if our government would show a little initiative and tell us exactly what we are supposed to do. -if you ever get lost in the woods and get really scared, don't worry. the easiest way to find your way back to civilization is to look up and follow the phone lines until you find a phone, then call a cab. -every rose has it's thorn, just like every night has it's dawn, except the night you die. -the best advice I've ever gotten is 'don't pet that part of the dog' -people rarely say what they mean, or even know what they mean, but don't try to tell them what they said. -if you ever vomit while you're talking on a payphone, forget it... it's not YOUR phone. -if I had a dollar for every time... ummm... I mean, can I have a dollar. -it makes me sad when I think of all the poor starving people that live in somalia and ethiopia and stuff, but it makes me wonder if they ever feel sorry for me, like when my car broke down and I had to wait almost an hour at McDonald's for someone to come get me... I'll bet they didn't even think of me... those selfish, uncaring bastards! -I wish I had learned to rollerskate and skateboard and ride a bike and read. -call me old fashioned, but I still think that the gods will only be appeased by virgin sacrifice. -other people's shortcomings are funny as long as yours are cleverly disguised. -last year, I took a job as an operator, I quit after six months because I hadn't even seen an operation, much less performed one. -the whole idea of beating a man relentlessly about the face and chest with a tire iron to the point where you can hear bone cracking with every blow and see his skull beinning to cave in, then wrapping his lifeless body in a 10x7 poly tarp bought at ace hardware and kept in the trunk of your 1989 buick skylark before dumping the body off the pier behind the fairgrounds into winona lake, is completely new to me. -writing all of this was like trying to squeeze blood from a sponge soaked in blood. |
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01-28-2003, 07:55 PM
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#22 (permalink) |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Random Thought of the Day 1.28.03
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is because they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then when they get up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?" [This message has been edited by Orgazmo (edited February 22, 2003).] |
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01-29-2003, 03:44 AM
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#23 (permalink) |
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Roscoe P. Coldchain
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Stabbin Cabin
Posts: 2,759
Internets: 1425
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Random thought?
StDx told me that a good part of that was composed just over a year ago while he worked as an operator for Aon Innovative Solutions. the rest were 'deep thoughts' he remembered while writing them... I wonder if anyone does just copy shit from another site to post here? |
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