God Exists! (DJ FC experiences a miracle) - Nubblies.net Forums

06-17-2005, 05:27 PM

Today I was the beneficiary of a miracle. Not just a one-step miracle either, but a multi-pronged miracle, let me explain:

Time: 11:00 AM
I wake up, today is my Marketing Mid-Term exam (part of the ICORE course) at 3:00 PM. I am going to get a couple of solid hours of studdying in at the library.

Time: 12:01 PM
I decide that instead of studdying in the Main Library (now known as the Herman B. Wells Library), I will study at the Law Library instead, which is closer to my exam room and a bit quieter. I do not know why I made this choice, it was just a spur of the moment thing.

Time: 12:45 PM
I am very tired as I haven't had any caffeine today, and I'm also really wanting some Chinese food from Chow Bar (which kicks ass... BTowners get to Chow Bar on Indiana Ave). But I decide that I should just keep studdying, eat after the exam.

Time: 1:00 PM
I really need caffeine, so I decide if I'm going to leave I might as well just go to Chow Bar as well. Chow Bar is right across from the Law Library, so I hop accross the road, get my eat on (much faster than normal, I wasn't sure why I had such a sense of urgency), and head back to the Law Library.

Time: 1:45 PM
Well now the Chinese is working it's magic and I suppose I better take a shit before the exam, so I search for a bathroom inside the Law School, but don't find one quickly. I make my way over to Swain Hall West, walk through the main floor - no bathroom. Same for Swain Hall East, no bathroom in sight. I know I was probably just passing them over, but I knew where one bathroom was for sure, and that was Rawles Hall. Rawles Hall is coincidentally the same place as my exam later at 3:00 PM.

Time: 2:00 PM
I make my way into Rawles Hall, to the main lobby (which is empty, people havn't began ariving for the exam yet) and I begin to head to the bathroom when someone opens the door to the room my exam is to be in... and it's PACKED. My heart skips a beat, this is like one of those bad dreams. My God what have I done!? I walk into the room and sure enough there is my Marketing Prof.

"I thought the exam was at 3"
"No... the exam is at 2"
"My God! I am so lucky!"
"Yes... you are lucky, here is your exam."

It was a miracle.

Had I gone to regular library instead of the law library I would not have made it.

Had I not been tired from not drinking coffee in the morning, I wouldn't have eaten at Chow Bar.

Had I not eaten at Chow Bar I wouldn't have had to shit.

Had I been able to find a restroom in either the law library, Swain Hall West, or Swain Hall West, I would not have made it.

It made my day.

Repugnant Abomination · 06-17-2005, 05:35 PM

But wait...Did you still end up taking your shit!?!?!?

06-17-2005, 05:36 PM

No, I just took it.

Repugnant Abomination · 06-17-2005, 05:37 PM

How can you take an important exam when having to take a dump? Chinese food isn't very forgiving. I wouldn't have been able to concentrate.

06-17-2005, 05:38 PM

Well I didn't have to take a dump per se.

It was a pre-emptive dump, because I knew it was comming.

Holding it wasn't too hard to do.

Edit: which makes the story even more amazing, because I didn't really have to dump, something just told me that I should try to dump before the exam.

[ June 17, 2005, 03:38 PM: Message edited by: DJ FC ]

Repugnant Abomination · 06-17-2005, 05:40 PM

So you were going to force yourself to take a dump? How the hell can you force something like that? You either have to go or you don't. Wtf is your deal dude?

Beebs · 06-17-2005, 05:44 PM

caffeine can make you have to empty the tanks pretty quickly

bloodyfart · 06-17-2005, 05:48 PM

i take preemptive dumps all the time. you just sit there and out it comes.

lol @ you missing a final.

Repugnant Abomination · 06-17-2005, 05:50 PM

A pre-emptive dump would be taking a dump before you have to take a dump! It's impossible!!! If you sit there and shit comes out then it isn't pre-emptive! Wtf is the matter with you people!!!

06-17-2005, 05:51 PM

Yeah I don't know how that happened.

This whole week I just knew the exam was at 3, so I never even bothered to look.

The other 3 exams were all at 6... but for Friday they decided to be nice and give it at 2.

Ironic Mustache · 06-17-2005, 06:04 PM

Preemptive dumps are possible. I've taken them to make weight at tournaments. It's a last ditch effort to poop out a couple of ounces.

bloodyfart · 06-17-2005, 06:08 PM

they are completely possible. you go when you dont feel you have to. youd be surprised at how much you can get out if you need to.

Ironic Mustache · 06-17-2005, 06:10 PM

Flex them bowles!!!!!

Repugnant Abomination · 06-17-2005, 06:12 PM

You guys are full of shit.

Nyuk nyuk nyuk.

No but seriously, I just sat on the crapper for 5 minutes and nothing happened. Thus pre-emptive shit is impossible you fucking liars.

bloodyfart · 06-17-2005, 06:14 PM

its a skill

Ironic Mustache · 06-17-2005, 06:16 PM

Yeah it's skill you talentless non-shitter.

bloodyfart · 06-17-2005, 06:41 PM

why do we even waste our time talking to nonshitters?

Ironic Mustache · 06-17-2005, 07:02 PM

Yeah I hope god takes a preemptive shit in his dinner tonight.

Carnivorous Flavor · 06-17-2005, 07:07 PM

i shit all the time...today..the bosses 20 YO son crapped himself and had to go home.

VOICEMAIL MESSAGE...
Bosses son : " yo this is Justin, leave a message...."

Carni Flav: " whats wrong poopie pants..had a shitty day? BWAHAHAHHAHAAAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHHHAHHAHHAHAHHHAHH"

Ironic Mustache · 06-17-2005, 07:11 PM

I hate crapping myself. The last time I crapped myself in public I was like 17 but was able to hide it long enough to get away with it undetected and change. I can't imagine shitting and then going public with it.

bloodyfart · 06-17-2005, 07:13 PM

lol.

i almost shit myself at abu dhabi. doors were supposed to open at 9. they didnt open until 11. at 9, i already had to go. by 10:15, the turtle was surfacing from the ocean floor. i pleaded with the people at the front door to let me in to use the bathroom. i even tried to bribe them, but they wouldnt let me in. finally, i got joe to use his celeb status to get me in. he saved my life.

Carnivorous Flavor · 06-17-2005, 07:16 PM

no,,he saved your panties from a shit smearing...

Ironic Mustache · 06-17-2005, 07:16 PM

Prairy Doggin' it is the worst.

bloodyfart · 06-17-2005, 07:17 PM

explain that term

Ironic Mustache · 06-17-2005, 07:20 PM

You know, like when I prairy dog sticks its head out of the hole and then goes back in.

06-17-2005, 05:27 PM	#1 (permalink)
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a	Today I was the beneficiary of a miracle. Not just a one-step miracle either, but a multi-pronged miracle, let me explain: Time: 11:00 AM I wake up, today is my Marketing Mid-Term exam (part of the ICORE course) at 3:00 PM. I am going to get a couple of solid hours of studdying in at the library. Time: 12:01 PM I decide that instead of studdying in the Main Library (now known as the Herman B. Wells Library), I will study at the Law Library instead, which is closer to my exam room and a bit quieter. I do not know why I made this choice, it was just a spur of the moment thing. Time: 12:45 PM I am very tired as I haven't had any caffeine today, and I'm also really wanting some Chinese food from Chow Bar (which kicks ass... BTowners get to Chow Bar on Indiana Ave). But I decide that I should just keep studdying, eat after the exam. Time: 1:00 PM I really need caffeine, so I decide if I'm going to leave I might as well just go to Chow Bar as well. Chow Bar is right across from the Law Library, so I hop accross the road, get my eat on (much faster than normal, I wasn't sure why I had such a sense of urgency), and head back to the Law Library. Time: 1:45 PM Well now the Chinese is working it's magic and I suppose I better take a shit before the exam, so I search for a bathroom inside the Law School, but don't find one quickly. I make my way over to Swain Hall West, walk through the main floor - no bathroom. Same for Swain Hall East, no bathroom in sight. I know I was probably just passing them over, but I knew where one bathroom was for sure, and that was Rawles Hall. Rawles Hall is coincidentally the same place as my exam later at 3:00 PM. Time: 2:00 PM I make my way into Rawles Hall, to the main lobby (which is empty, people havn't began ariving for the exam yet) and I begin to head to the bathroom when someone opens the door to the room my exam is to be in... and it's PACKED. My heart skips a beat, this is like one of those bad dreams. My God what have I done!? I walk into the room and sure enough there is my Marketing Prof. "I thought the exam was at 3" "No... the exam is at 2" "My God! I am so lucky!" "Yes... you are lucky, here is your exam." It was a miracle. Had I gone to regular library instead of the law library I would not have made it. Had I not been tired from not drinking coffee in the morning, I wouldn't have eaten at Chow Bar. Had I not eaten at Chow Bar I wouldn't have had to shit. Had I been able to find a restroom in either the law library, Swain Hall West, or Swain Hall West, I would not have made it. It made my day.
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a

06-17-2005, 05:36 PM	#3 (permalink)
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a	No, I just took it.
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a

06-17-2005, 05:38 PM	#5 (permalink)
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a	Well I didn't have to take a dump per se. It was a pre-emptive dump, because I knew it was comming. Holding it wasn't too hard to do. Edit: which makes the story even more amazing, because I didn't really have to dump, something just told me that I should try to dump before the exam. [ June 17, 2005, 03:38 PM: Message edited by: DJ FC ]
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a

06-17-2005, 05:48 PM	#8 (permalink)
bloodyfart Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: side control Posts: 2,044 Internets: 203	i take preemptive dumps all the time. you just sit there and out it comes. lol @ you missing a final.
	<b>We're here, and we're queer, so get used to it</b>

06-17-2005, 05:51 PM	#10 (permalink)
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a	Yeah I don't know how that happened. This whole week I just knew the exam was at 3, so I never even bothered to look. The other 3 exams were all at 6... but for Friday they decided to be nice and give it at 2.
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a

06-17-2005, 05:35 PM	#2 (permalink)
Repugnant Abomination Almost there... Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,979 Internets: 161638	But wait...Did you still end up taking your shit!?!?!?

06-17-2005, 05:37 PM	#4 (permalink)
Repugnant Abomination Almost there... Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,979 Internets: 161638	How can you take an important exam when having to take a dump? Chinese food isn't very forgiving. I wouldn't have been able to concentrate.

06-17-2005, 05:40 PM	#6 (permalink)
Repugnant Abomination Almost there... Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,979 Internets: 161638	So you were going to force yourself to take a dump? How the hell can you force something like that? You either have to go or you don't. Wtf is your deal dude?

06-17-2005, 05:44 PM	#7 (permalink)
Beebs Poor Sport Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Indianapolis / Middlebury / Long Lake Posts: 5,306 Internets: 127341	caffeine can make you have to empty the tanks pretty quickly

06-17-2005, 05:50 PM	#9 (permalink)
Repugnant Abomination Almost there... Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,979 Internets: 161638	A pre-emptive dump would be taking a dump before you have to take a dump! It's impossible!!! If you sit there and shit comes out then it isn't pre-emptive! Wtf is the matter with you people!!!

06-17-2005, 06:04 PM	#11 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	Preemptive dumps are possible. I've taken them to make weight at tournaments. It's a last ditch effort to poop out a couple of ounces.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

06-17-2005, 06:08 PM	#12 (permalink)
bloodyfart Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: side control Posts: 2,044 Internets: 203	they are completely possible. you go when you dont feel you have to. youd be surprised at how much you can get out if you need to.
	<b>We're here, and we're queer, so get used to it</b>

06-17-2005, 06:10 PM	#13 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	Flex them bowles!!!!!
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

06-17-2005, 06:12 PM	#14 (permalink)
Repugnant Abomination Almost there... Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,979 Internets: 161638	You guys are full of shit. Nyuk nyuk nyuk. No but seriously, I just sat on the crapper for 5 minutes and nothing happened. Thus pre-emptive shit is impossible you fucking liars.

06-17-2005, 06:14 PM	#15 (permalink)
bloodyfart Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: side control Posts: 2,044 Internets: 203	its a skill
	<b>We're here, and we're queer, so get used to it</b>

06-17-2005, 06:16 PM	#16 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	Yeah it's skill you talentless non-shitter.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

06-17-2005, 06:41 PM	#17 (permalink)
bloodyfart Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: side control Posts: 2,044 Internets: 203	why do we even waste our time talking to nonshitters?
	<b>We're here, and we're queer, so get used to it</b>

06-17-2005, 07:02 PM	#18 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	Yeah I hope god takes a preemptive shit in his dinner tonight.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

06-17-2005, 07:07 PM	#19 (permalink)
Carnivorous Flavor Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: tracking schroeder Posts: 703 Internets: 10	i shit all the time...today..the bosses 20 YO son crapped himself and had to go home. VOICEMAIL MESSAGE... Bosses son : " yo this is Justin, leave a message...." Carni Flav: " whats wrong poopie pants..had a shitty day? BWAHAHAHHAHAAAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHHHAHHAHHAHAHHHAHH"
	i'm the sinful stench that wafts through nostrils of the righteous....

06-17-2005, 07:11 PM	#20 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	I hate crapping myself. The last time I crapped myself in public I was like 17 but was able to hide it long enough to get away with it undetected and change. I can't imagine shitting and then going public with it.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

06-17-2005, 07:13 PM	#21 (permalink)
bloodyfart Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: side control Posts: 2,044 Internets: 203	lol. i almost shit myself at abu dhabi. doors were supposed to open at 9. they didnt open until 11. at 9, i already had to go. by 10:15, the turtle was surfacing from the ocean floor. i pleaded with the people at the front door to let me in to use the bathroom. i even tried to bribe them, but they wouldnt let me in. finally, i got joe to use his celeb status to get me in. he saved my life.
	<b>We're here, and we're queer, so get used to it</b>

06-17-2005, 07:16 PM	#22 (permalink)
Carnivorous Flavor Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: tracking schroeder Posts: 703 Internets: 10	no,,he saved your panties from a shit smearing...
	i'm the sinful stench that wafts through nostrils of the righteous....

06-17-2005, 07:16 PM	#23 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	Prairy Doggin' it is the worst.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

06-17-2005, 07:17 PM	#24 (permalink)
bloodyfart Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: side control Posts: 2,044 Internets: 203	explain that term
	<b>We're here, and we're queer, so get used to it</b>

06-17-2005, 07:20 PM	#25 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	You know, like when I prairy dog sticks its head out of the hole and then goes back in.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

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