In Which Nubblies Helps Raise Cocktooth's Child

[Mr. Blonde]

The Secret Santa thread made me realize you probably need some help parenting. Being the good person, I decided to make this thread for Cocktooth.

First and foremost, do you intend on indoctrinating your child with religion? Have you already mutilated his genitals because of this? Please respond in kind.

[Johnny Richter]

C'mon man, it's fucking circumcision which isn't exactly mutalation.

[Mr. Blonde]

I'd say it's certainly up for debate. I have many friends abroad and some in the States who aren't circumsized. Don't ask me how I know, it's irrelevant. IT'S IRRELEVANT I SAY!



Hard to find too many people who are uncircumsized arguing for the benefits of circumcision; it's usually those who have already been snipped.

[DJ FC]

Easier to clean.

[Dent]

You have experience with both?

[Johnny Richter]

Licensed medical doctors frequently perform circumcision. Pretty sure most doctors aren't in the business of genital mutalation.

[Mr. Blonde]

Originally Posted by Dirty Harry

Licensed medical doctors frequently perform circumcision. Pretty sure most doctors aren't in the business of genital mutalation.

Mutilate | Define Mutilate at Dictionary.com

Just because you don't want to call it what it is, doesn't mean it isn't.

[Mr. Blonde]

Originally Posted by DJ FC

Easier to clean.

Another common response to this discussion. AFAIK, it takes mere seconds to wipe the inside of your foreskin with your finger while in the shower. Done.

People who support circumcision usually can't process the idea that something ridiculously unnecessary and rather cruel to a child (even though none of us have memories of it, for obvious reasons) was done to them by their parents about at a very young age, for almost uniformly religious decisions. Homo Sapiens lived without circumcision for at least 100,000 years, very likely more. We've been cutting a part of our dicks off for 2000-ish years, and there are virtually no good scientific reasons for it, other than:

- It's easier to clean (supposedly)
- It is less easier to get AIDS (so is wearing a condom)
- We want little Billy to be just like Daddy, it would be hard to explain otherwise...

What Is Lost During Circumcision?

Should we start suppressing women's breast growth during puberty so they won't get breast cancer? Chew on that for a bit.

[ninjaface]

Yawn.

[Johnny Richter]

ITT Blonde talks about how he loves uncircumcised cocks.

[vaga1220 *]

If a person cut off his ear because god told him to, society would assume, rightfully so, that he suffers from some sort of mental disorder. But if it's the tip of a penis then it's all good?

[Mr. Blonde]

Some of you have some real work on your egos to do.

[Ugly Bastard]

Blonde has entered into Poe's Law territory.

[THEINCREDIBLEdork]

I went to washington DC when I was a young fox in 8th grade. There was a homeless man with a sign on the capital steps protesting circumcision. He was probably an enlightened atheist with a PHD in Atheism Sciences.

[Mr. Blonde]

I'm sorry guys.

I'm sorry for CARING TOO MUCH!

[ninjaface]

If that's what you want to call it.

[DJ FC]

Cocktooth's child's foreskin won't stand a chance IF EARTH GETS HIT BY A FUCKING ASTEROID

[Cocktooth]

First question: If he chooses to follow religion, that's on him and his mother. If I wanted to follow a make believe character, I'd follow Rocky.

2nd Question: Yes he has been circumsized. Sorry, but I don't give 2 shits what happens to my sons penis. If his mom wanted it cut, she wanted it cut. He was 2 days old and slept for 5 hours afterwards, so to be honest, it allowed me to get some sleep. I can't say I'm upset about that.

I would love some fatherly advice from you Blonde. You really strike me as someone who has more knowledge then they know what to do with. Please, don't stop at foreskin, tell me more. Tell me how I should raise my son. His well being is dependent upon it.

[Mr. Blonde]

Originally Posted by Cocktooth

I would love some fatherly advice from you Blonde. You really strike me as someone who has more knowledge then they know what to do with. Please, don't stop at foreskin, tell me more. Tell me how I should raise my son. His well being is dependent upon it.

Good call. I know it was hard for you to swallow your pride on this one, but being that I've spent much more time around young children than you and given my observational expertise of passively viewing terrible parents (adult children in almost all cases) throughout my entire life, I assure you it's the right move.

But it's not just me you'll be taking advice from; it's the entirety of Nubblies. Let's face it. You need the help.

[Johnny Richter]

My advice is to make the little guy study and learn a lot. He'll probably hate it, but his brain is in a key developmental state and should be strengthened as much as possible. Don't let him vegetate in front of the tv too much.

You can make flash cards of basic arithmetic and vocabulary words and do it with him. Like make a little father son game out of it.

Of course, you can do whatever you want. I'm not trying to tell you how to raise your kid. Just offering a friendly suggestion.

[Mr. Blonde]

All religion bullshit/circumcision (although i'm still not a fan, it is your child after all) and snarkiness aside, I really think opening your mind to advice from others will help. It is simply advice, after all -- it doesn't mean we're right, you're ultimately the final call on that front, Cocktooth. But it takes an entire child to raise a village etc. That being said:


Be wary with pushing your child into things as parents often do with sports/hobbies etc. It would be much more wise to pay attention to your kid and find out what things he is interested in, rather than making the mistake that most parents do by pushing their children into things they want to them to be interested in. If your kid is dreading going to soccer/basketball/football/art/bedazzling classes, then that's probably not their cup of tea. They're much more likely to have a lifelong hobby (or possibly career) in fields they are interested in from a young age that you support.

[Johnny Richter]

We're talking about Cocktooth's son. The kid is going to play D1 college baseball.

[Cocktooth]

Okay, so let my 2 1/2 year old show me his interest. Sounds easy enough. He seems to be interested in penis. He plays with his all the time. He's also interested in flushing the toliet, and playing Temple Run. I'm unsure of the careers that those will lead to, but I'll make sure I support him.

DH, flash cards, and vocabulary has already been handled. We read every evening, in between our individual basketball workouts. We are to the bombs bursting in air on memerazation of the national anthem. For his age, his memory is pretty solid. I'm not going to sit here and say how great my kid is compared to all the other kids, but he definately, at least to this point, didn't take after me with intelligence. I was pretty sharp in my younger days though, so maybe he's just waiting til 14 to not care about learning.

[vaga1220 *]

I'd recommend grinding him into a fine paste and feeding him to zoo animals. That way we all win.

[Ugly Bastard]

Tooth do you have the national anthem memorized? I'd actually like to see you prove that you do. Call me sometime and I'll buy you a beer if you can recite it.