Wow! I take back all the things I said about Secret Santa. I love Christmas now!
I got a package!
The first present is CuPonk. It's basically a Mattel version of beer pong. The instructions don't explicitly say to incorporate drinking, but I know it's implied.
Next is lots of bird treats! How did you know I had a bird?!?!? Yoshi is gonna love this shit!
Next is about the best board game ever:
Here's the card. I'm not sure if the card is FROM Jesus or FOR Jesus. I hope I didn't open up the wrong present.
Secret Santa, whoever you are, I thank you.