Mr. Blonde has a dilemma.

[Mr. Blonde]

Alright, so. For those of you who don't know, after I graduated college and my lease ran up this summer in Muncie, I moved to Indy's northside with a buddy of mine, and next month on the 17th we are going to Sydney, Australia to live and work for 4 months. Can't start my career yet, because i'm leaving so soon, so in the meantime until I leave, I'm a Camel field rep most nights, which means i go out to bars and pass out free cigarettes, and I work days and some nights at the Cheeseburger in Paradise restaurant in Fishers.

Cheeseburger in Paradise is where this little story kinda begins; I started working there a few weeks ago. There is this girl there who I thought was cute, yada yada, we hung out a bit, and now we could kind of be considered pseudo-"dating". I've spent the night over there like probably 7 or 8 nights at least out of the past 2 weeks; maybe more. I don't keep count.

However, we have really done pretty much nothing besides make out and cuddle, which is fucking lame, because i'm putting lots of time and effort into this. She's refused my advances quite a few times, and I don't know why, because she really, really, really likes me, as is apparent from her texts, calls, and just general demeanor when i'm hanging out with her.

Now, when I first met her, one of the main things I liked about her was that she acted like she didn't give a shit about me. It was like a cat and mouse game; everyone loves the chase. At least I love it; unfortunately, that dropped pretty much after the second night we spent together. So last night at when I was doing some work, i was just thinking to myself; "Blonde, what the fuck are you doing with this chick? You're 22 years old, pretty much at the height of your sexual prime, wasting your time on some chick that you don't even REALLY like anymore, who isn't giving ANYTHING up? Not even like, genital to hand contact?" This is bullshit. I think if she would have played her cards right and given me SOMETHING like a week or so ago when I was still all about her, things would be different, but right now, I kinda resent her for all this rejection bullshit, because there's really no reason for it, except for (at least this is what i think) her plan is to hold out on me forever, because she likes me a lot, and doesn't want to give anything up/playing some bullshit game where she's going to sleep with me or whatever right before I leave for Australia, and try to put a mind-fuck on me to keep me loyal to her or whatever during my 4 month excursion. That sounds exactly like the manipulative bullshit some ho would pull.

Let me tell you this: All I really wanted out of this is sex, so if that is indeed her plan, it's not going to work.

That's not all of my little pickle, however. See this other girl from the restaurant, who has been on vacation for the past 2 weeks, so I haven't met/worked with her yet, just got back and worked for the first time yesterday. This chick looks a LOT like Jamie Lynn Discala:



...and has a great body. The first girl, who we will refer to as "Girl A", has a ...decent body, but it could be taken care of better, and there's nothing that pisses me off more than a girl not taking care of her body, especially if she has potential to have a great one.

So, I worked with Girl B last night, and there is definitely chemistry there. We were eye-fucking the shit out of each other all night, and flirting all night as well. I texted her after work and the flirting continued. I have some hardcore sexual repression right now and this chick is definitely who i want to take it out on.

Here comes another problem; Not only do all 3 of us work together, and half of the staff already thinks me and Girl A are somewhat of an Item, but apparently these two girls used to live together, went through some drama, and now like....Girl A hates girl B but girl B still wishes Girl A would be the best friend that she used to be.

Whew.

So, today, I told Girl B that during her vacation, i was kinda hanging out with Girl A, but it's really not working out, and although at first she pulled the "well i don't want to hurt her she's my friend blah blah.....it only took a bit of convincing to bring her back into being interested.


So that's basically where I stand. Girl A is blindly attracted to me and kind of thinks she has me, although with no sexual contact whatsoever she couldn't be further from the truth, but it just sucks because she's a really nice girl and while i don't want to hurt her feelings, if I don't get laid soon i'm probably going to kill an elderly woman. Girl B would be a FREAK and I'm pretty sure I could pull it off somewhat soon because of the chemistry, and I've never cheated on anyone in my life, and even though girl A and I aren't officially antyhing, i'm not going to lie, the taboo of this situation is kind of a turn-on.



So, I have a month left to do with what i please with these girls. I don't even think I want to have anything to do with Girl A anymore, aside from getting drunk with her and fucking around, but besides that, I think i'd be fine if I never talked to her again. Except she kinda has a movie that I rented from Blockbuster at her Apt.

I haven't known girl B that long at all, but I already know i want to hit that shit till next sunday. I really think i'm going to pursue it. It's just gonna be hard to pull off and i'm probaby going to hurt someone's feelings and make some enemies.




For anyone that actually read through all of this, first of all thanks, second of all, any thoughts?

[Beebs]

So you have two girls who had a falling out who you can get with...that will take care of itself obviously.

And, there are no more late fees at blockbuster, youre in the clear.

[f3lix]

Perhaps you could PM me their names, as I very likely went to school with them if they are between 20-24 and live in Fishers. :-) We'll proceed from there.

[ninjaface]

Ask her nicely to return the movie for you, then fuck Girl B. You are worried about hurting her feelings and making enemies? In a month you're gonna be strangling kangaroos in Australia, so who gives a fuck?

[Ugly Bastard]

All of the above posts are horrible, disregard any advice. I'll say a few things:

First, I'm proud of you that you're like balling it up and shit. I mean, you clearly don't have your shit down all-the-way yet, but you're young and ahead of the game. Guys like you should blaze their own trail, and you appear to be doing that.

Alright, so you're staying over at this girl's place where it seems apparent that you're struggling to get past first base. On some level, I can respect the girl for that. Here's why; maybe she really likes you and is actually smart enough to realize that letting you fuck her right away kills any chance she has of keeping you in her life past a couple'a weeks. But, she is female, so chances are her brain isn't capable of processing such thoughts.

You want to know what I think? I think that you're fucking up your game, Blonde. People want what they can't have. You started this thread because it is starting to seem apparent to you that you can't have this girl, and you want to know what you can do to get her. In the sense that you care about her that much, she has done a great job. You should flip things on her. Start qualifying her. Be the man. Take back the power. Making it clear to her that you guys aren't having sex because you don't want to sleep with her is going to do nothing but make her want to fuck your brains out. While you and I know that you want nothing other than to fuck her crazy, you have to play ball with her and make her think that she can't have you. That will make her want you, blah blah blah... you'll have her riding you and moaning like the dumb whore that she is.

I'm happy to see you're out there playing the game. You're good looking. You dress well. You really should be a pioneer of our generation by fucking girls all over the place. It's nice to see you heading down that direction. If I had your set of skills, I would be fucking unstoppable. Unfortunately I wasn't blessed with the skill set that gives girls a phenomenal fucking first impression. I have to work for my punani. Appreciate the fact that you don't have to; and capitalize on it...

[THEINCREDIBLEdork]

I don't understand this at all, why not just stay at home and masturbate?

[Mr. Blonde]

Not really...i'm not pissed because I can't have her, i'm pissed because i'm spending all this time on an okay girl when i'm leaving in a goddamn month and i'll be damned if i'm going to enter some bullshit lovey dovey relationship, ESPECIALLY when i'm not even getting sex.

UPDATE: I spent the night at Girl B's house last night. Things got pretty extreme; unfortunately the crimson tide was in and she didn't want to go through with it. I know what you're thinking, girls always have that as a backup excuse, but you're just going to have to trust me on this one, it was definitely the only thing holding us back.


I don't know what i'm going to do about Girl A. Wouldn't be so complicated if I didn't work with her. Right now my best option though is just not calling or going over anymore.

[theMerciless1]

i think you're handling it well. you were honest. you're doing what you wanna do.

they both know you're leaving in a month so they are not really expecting to have you forever.

be respectful to both but get some stink on your hanglow.

[ProfessorNumber]

Originally Posted by Mr. Blonde

Not really...i'm not pissed because I can't have her, i'm pissed because i'm spending all this time on an okay girl when i'm leaving in a goddamn month and i'll be damned if i'm going to enter some bullshit lovey dovey relationship, ESPECIALLY when i'm not even getting sex.

UPDATE: I spent the night at Girl B's house last night. Things got pretty extreme; unfortunately the crimson tide was in and she didn't want to go through with it. I know what you're thinking, girls always have that as a backup excuse, but you're just going to have to trust me on this one, it was definitely the only thing holding us back.


I don't know what i'm going to do about Girl A. Wouldn't be so complicated if I didn't work with her. Right now my best option though is just not calling or going over anymore.

Crimson tide only stops females because they think that guys are extremely uncomfortable with it. As gross as it sounds I personally don't give a shit whether a girl has blood coming out of her vag (assuming I'm horny enough). If you tell a girl that you honestly don't care one bit, then there is definitely a chance she won't care -- although this often only works with girls that are very comfortable with you to begin with (such as a long term girlfriend).


I would personally follow UB's advice regarding girl A. Realistically she's not going to put out, and if girl B is just as good looking and more willing to whore it up, then she is the clear choice. Nonetheless, I would continue to string along girl A, just so that when she does find out you were going "behind her back" in your pseudo-relationship, she will feel SUPER annoyed and betrayed.

[Beebs]

Originally Posted by ProfessorNumber

Crimson tide only stops females because they think that guys are extremely uncomfortable with it. As gross as it sounds I personally don't give a shit whether a girl has blood coming out of her vag (assuming I'm horny enough).

Its really more them being uncomfortable with it in my experience, or in some cases just physically unapealling to them. But yea, part of it is probably because they think we will be turned off, plus girls are just headcases about self image.

[THEINCREDIBLEdork]

Im actually am turned on by blood during sexual experiences.

[Mr. Blonde]

UPDATE: Girl A and I are pretty much done. She got super defensive and self righteous about the situation...some actual quotes via text from her:


"k, well i never said i wanted anything serious. I just liked hanging out with you. it's ok tho, just forget it. i've been through worse."

"whats the point in handling it at all. sam, i'm not mad, i already knew what was going to happen"

suuuurree ya did.


"so i was avoided? it's not worth it to me if i get avoiced. i'm better than that. sorry."

after i told her that i didn't mean for this to turn into a hostile situation.....

"i'm not hostile. i'm actually not that mad just cause i'm stronger and smarter than 90% of girls in this type of situation"





I hung out with Girl B again last night. We kinda talked about her period thing, i wasnt going to push it because i don't really feel like having sex with a girl for the first time on her period; i worked in a story about a girl who i work with who tells me she has sex with her boyfriend on her period all the time...and that it feels great and relieves the cramps and all this shit...and she was like yeah....basically reiterated what Professor # said.

From the innuendos we've been exchanging, pretty much as soon as this passes over, i'm in.


OH. Get this shit...she wants to keep it a secret. from like, everybody. Mostly because of all the drama it would cause at work, but also because i'm leaving in a month and it's pretty obvious she doesn't want anything serious

This girl has an awesome body, is hot, is a smartass (which, if you know me, is a definite turn on when a girl can match my wit), and a huge flirt. And she's cool as hell to hang out with. And she's probably a freak too. AND she doesnt mind keeping this whole thing under wraps.



fuckin' jackpot.

[theMerciless1]

well that wrked itself out nicely, didnt it.

[Heaven Can Wait]

more info on period sex please.

[Ironic Mustache]

Well shit I guess I'm a day late and a dollar short on this thread.

[Ugly Bastard]

Blonde,

I gotta be honest, I read that last post and had "he could be handling this better" vibes going off in my head like crazy.

Saying things to her like: "after i told her that i didn't mean for this to turn into a hostile situation....." is basically apologizing for yourself. That's something you shouldn't ever do for a girl. Never say "excuse me" or anything else that gives them the impression that you feel sorry for something you did.

You see a jackpot, I see a situation that could be a jackpot if it were being handled as such, but instead is just a decent little score. Don't mean to sound like a dick or some fucking expert to ya, but that's honestly the vibes I'm getting from this.

[Mr. Blonde]

well apparently tonight she was asking my roommate (who also works with me) "what happened? I usually only like guys for one week and i really liked him...i hate him...wait i don't really...but whhyyyy"

Apparently she doesnt hate me. I'm at work acting like nothing happened, and she's all about pouting and such. Oh, and I guess she put in her two weeks.

So how should i be handling the situation?

[Beebs]

Put on the big boy pants and demand a threesome.

[Mr. Blonde]

Edit:

Also, I think you're wrong, UB. While I do appreciate this recent step you're taking for men everywhere by learning how to demean women while simultaneously attract them, that's not what i'm trying to accomplish in this case.

I work with her, and yes, i'm only here for another month, but I still value my reputation. By handling this in a civil manner instead of taking an "I can get WAY better than you!" attitude, and in turn her being the irrational, upset one here, is making me look better, to everyone. I wasn't the one pouting and being upset the past two nights at work, i'm not the one who's bugging someone's friend and whining about why they don't want to hang out with me anymore. Ya know?

It's a jackpot in the sense of what i said about girl B; girl A is kinda in a purgatory with me right now. I'm not really looking to never talk to her again, but I definitely needed to act quick to cut off the ties that were beginning to form.

[Ugly Bastard]

It's your party. I wish you luck.

[StabMaster Arson]

as for period sex, I'm all for it as long as it's not when it's the heaviest. a slight hint, or even a modest amount of blood is forgiveable. When it looks like a crime scene by the time you're through, perhaps you should've opted for something else for a day or so.

[StabMaster Arson]

Ugly,
wow, I'm proud. you've come a long way. that's all I've got to say. good work.

[DJ FC]

Free Dog the Bounty Hunter!

[Cocktooth]

God this post is better then a repeat of Dawson's Creek....THANK YOU...THANK YOU!!!

[THEINCREDIBLEdork]

hahahahahaha. no, thank YOU!

[no offense to to blonde and his plight but that was funny]