Apartment #1034 Weekly Din-Din Thread

[Ironic Mustache]

Excellent. Now that I have roommates, I'm contemplating something simlar to this thread, though most likely without the posting.

You should take pictures of the courses so we can see what the presentation was like.

[tonguegina]

I personally enjoy cooking. I'm not nearly as competetive as the rest of these guys.

I always grew up putting a mixture of melted margarine, lemon juice, and red pepper on asparagus. I may have to do that next time.

Tonguegina - you grew up being a faggot who enjoyed anal sex (with men), oral sex (from men), and child porn (male of course).

[Ugly Bastard]

Orgazmo prepared our Week #24 meal for us last night.

Beverage: Harp Lager and Stewart's Black Cherry

Harp is something I had been wanting to try for a little while now. In general, I was a bit disappointed with it. It was a little too rich and full-tasting for my preferences. None of that is being reflected in your score, just stating my feelings towards Harp. Nice thought on the Stewart's for tonguegina.

Appetizer: Bacon Wrapped Water Chestnuts

These were pretty quality. Before the meal was served, you told me that these had the serious potential to be the best appetizer we've had all year. I'm not going to go that far. I liked tonguegina's proscuitto-wrapped breadsticks and my homemade salsa with chips a lot more (and that's just off the top of my head). But all that being said, this was a very good Top 5 or 6 appetizer. You served a large enough portion of it, but there did seem to be some logistical concerns expressed by f3lix about some of us having more than others due to the pot-luck way in which this was served. Next time, with such an appetizer, I think serving equal portions on plates would cut down on a lot of tension.

Main Course: Meatloaf with Green Bean Casserole and Corn

The main course ended up being better than I thought it was going to be. The meatloaf, which I had figured I was going to have a distaste for, ended up being pretty delicious. I liked the recipie, and you seemed to do a good job executing it.

The green bean casserole was stellar. Maybe the best I've ever had. This was a great part of the meal.

The weakest part of the entire meal was the corn as a side dish. Your score would be a few tenths higher if we had some startch (like a potato variant, or rice, or even M&C) instead of canned corn (which is shitty, btw). The main course would have been much better balanced had the corn been replaced in this way.

Dessert: Dirt Pudding

This was pretty quality. You continue to lead the way as the best dessert preparer this year. I might go rob some more of this out of the fridge after I finish up this post. Very delicious. Plus there was effort involved, which is pretty rare for most of the desserts we have (what with them being storebought cakes or whatever).

Conclusion:

The other night when f3lix told you that you had a tough act to follow, and you replied saying "well I don't think I'll even come close, 'cause we're having meatloaf", I thought to myself, "damnit this meal is going to blow". I ended up being wrong for the most part. I was pleased with this. It was a pretty white-trashy meal, but there's nothing wrong with that - at least it had a theme.

Not your best work, but far from your worst. 8.6

[Ironic Mustache]

I've pretty much decided to shit can the idea for my version of this idea. One of my roommates has "cooked" twice so far, with fairly disastrous overall results. First was spaghetti and "cheese bread." The sause was bland as all hell. It almost seemed as if she just boiled some noodles, opened a can of tomato sauce, and called it a day. The cheese bread turned out to be nothing more than slices of rainbow bread thrown in the oven with american cheese on the top. This meal actually turned out better than last nights, which consisted of tuna fish sandwiches and fritos. I half expected her to serve them in brown paper bags with our names written on the outside in black marker. In addition, she managed to fuck up the tuna by adding tobasco to it. Tobasco. Tobasco, and not enough mayonaise. Dry, spicy, tuna fish and fritos has got to be the worst idea EVER. She's officially fired.

[Orgazmo]

Why do you let a bitch that can't cook live with you?

Also, I like tabasco with tuna...but in conjunction with the mayo.

[f3lix]

Beverage: Harp Lager and Stewart's Black Cherry

The beer didn't drive me nuts, and didn't seem to fit with the meal very well, but I appreciate the ability to try new beers.

Appetizer: Bacon Wrapped Water Chestnuts

I hate the texture of water chestnuts, but the bacon and BBQ sauce made up for that. I really ended up liking the appetizer.

Main Course: Meatloaf with Green Bean Casserole and Corn

The meatloaf was good, I was I had more than I did. The green bean casserole was my least favorite of all time, and that had all to do with you putting water chestnuts in it. I simply did not like this addition, but did like the rest of it. The corn was above average and a nice side item.

Dessert: Dirt Pudding

I like your originality with the desserts, this fell right in line with all the others that you have made.

Conclusion:

For introducing me to some new foods, your score is slightly higher than what the meal did for me. I really did not have many opinions about your meal other than the water chestnut explosion.

8.1

[Ironic Mustache]

I didn't know she couldn't cook until she had signed the lease.

[tonguegina]

Beverage: The Stewarts was good, but it's about the third or so time I've had it. I know that's my own fault for not liking beer. This does not hurt your score.

Appetizer: I love bacon and have begun to enjoy bbq sauce in the last year. I like maybe one or two water chestnuts in chineese food. They were alright here and as f3lix clearly pointed out numerous times, I ate a few more than anyone else. This was mostly due to the bacon.

Entree: I'm not a big meatloaf fan. Never really have been. I liked the use of bbq sauce, but I think maybe the oven was turned on too high. It was almost crispy on the outside and kind of mushy on the inside. It tasted alright enough for me to get seconds, but I only picked at it.

Sides: The corn seemed kind of like an after thought, but it was alright I guess. It's corn. How can you go wrong. Green bean casserole is delicious, but every bite had more water chestnuts. Like I said, I'm not a huge fan of them to begin with, but I pressed on.

Dessert: Never been a huge dirt pudding fan, either. This was pretty good for dirt pudding, though. Some of the better that I've had. About half way through I'd had enough pudding and picked out the Oreos. Still Oreos for dessert is good enough for me.

In the End: It was an alright meal. Nothing spectacular...8.0

[Ugly Bastard]

f3lix's cumulative rating totals after 6 meals: 143.4

tonguegina's cumulative rating totals after 6 meals: 150.2

Ugly Bastard's cumulative rating totals after 6 meals: 152.7

Orgazmo's cumulative rating totals after 6 meals: 154.9

[Ugly Bastard]

Dave (aka: f3lix the cat) prepared our Week #25 meal tonight. The following are my thoughts:

Beverage: Yellow Tail Chardonnay

Didn't someone else serve this earlier in the year? I think tonguegina did. It's a nice wine, but a little variation would have been appreciated. Maybe some Pinot Grigio would have been nice.

Appetizer: Bruschetta

Quality fuckin' appetizer. This was a Top 6 or 7 appetizer on the year so far. You burnt the garlic bread a little bit, but it didn't really hinder the taste. I liked it. Well done, 'nuff said.

Main Course: Salmon and Asparagus

This was... well... honestly... boring. It was a disappointment in my eyes. The aspargus was undercooked and way too crunchy IMO. The salmon was also undercooked. It was cold, and even worse, bland. You put no seasoning of any sort on this. Some type of a white wine or cream sauce poured over the salmon would have gone a long way in making this meal more restaurant-esque.

Also, my biggest complaint about the main course was the lack of startch. Just as I complained about Orgazmo's meal last week, some type of a potato/rice/noodle dish would have gone a long way in making this meal more enjoyalbe in my eyes.

I mean, I prepare main courses like this all the time for myself. Bake some fish, steam some veggies, bam, meal. It takes about 20 minutes and 0 effort. I was disappointed with this main course, f3lix. I'm sorry, but I was.

Dessert: Strawberry Pie

This... wow... funniest part of this year. EVERYONE READ THIS: f3lix made us "homemade" strawberry pie, which was great, only he forgot to cook the crust. I start eating this thing, and I'm like... "f3lix, is it possible that this crust was meant to be cooked?" Yes folks, you understand me correctly. He used a store-bought pie crust. You know, one of the ones that you're supposed to fill with toppings and put in the oven, ONLY HE DIDN'T HEAT IT AT ALL. The crust on this pie was dough. It was hilarious. I wasn't even mad. I was just laughing about it. Obviously it's going to effect your score, but I'll go easy on you, since, honestly, it tasted pretty decent uncooked.

Conclusion:

f3lix, your whole meal can best be summed up by the picture I attached to this post. I mean, don't take this the wrong way buddy, 'cause I fully and truly appreciate the effort and enthusiasm, but I'm starting to think that maybe cooking isn't really your bag of dice. I mean, you even had to ask Orgazmo to set the table for you. I think you could probably agree with me that my lamb masala meal required more effort/planning/time than your meal tonight did, yet I set my own table. You seem to have some difficulties with time management. This meal was served a half hour late. The appetizer and dessert seemed to require a fair amount of work, but the main course is like a fuckin' auto-pilot dinner. You didn't have to do anything!

I love you to pieces for your effort. I enjoyed myself tonight, drank some wine, had some laughs. The meal was a relatively healthy one, which was nice I suppose. I really hate to sound the way I do in this post, like I'm "going hard on you", because that's not my intent. You did a nice job. I mean it. I just think that it's possible that this whole thing isn't really something that you naturally excel at.

A nice meal. Certainly an unusual one. It had it's flaws. But you tried your damndest, which I appreciate. Nothing was un-edible IMO, but it was far from "amazing". Thank you very much f3lix. You have made this meal-a-week system very very enjoyable for me, regardless of the somewhat lackluster scores I have been giving you. 7.9

[Orgazmo]

Let's get to business, Dave.

The beverage was solid...but we already knew this from having it in the past. Having it in the past doesn't mean that it can't be in the future, though. Good work.

Also, the appetizer that you served was pretty god damned nice. I liked it. I liked it a lot. It was my first bruschetta experience...probably my last too (we'll get to that later), but, nevertheless, I enjoyed it quite a bit.

On to the main course. Bastard has already made public the main flaws of the bulkiest portion of your dinner. Yes, you served us a large portion of salmon...but, as he said, it was cold and tasteless. I had to drown mine in spice to enjoy the experience. Also, as mentioned, the asparagus was definitely undercooked. It was more raw than anything else. I liked the butter touch...it tasted good...but the undercookedness kinda made it tough to enjoy. Sure, it didn't stop me from eating a metric ton...but it wasn't as enjoyable as it could have been, that's for tittyfucking sure.

Now let's talk about your dessert. I liked it quite a bit...well, except for the uncooked crust, of course. It was probably the part of the meal that you put the most effort into...and it showed in the form of a delicious pie filling. Nice work.

Unfortunately, my dealings with your meal continued well after being finished. I awoke at 5:15 this morning feeling shitty...and then puked a lot. The shitfeelingness continues now, well into the day, though in a form much lessened. There is, of course, a real question to be answered here...that being, Was this caused by your meal? I'm sure arguments could be made either way; however, given my history with puking (I don't do it very often and, save an incident earlier this year when I chased vodka with ketchup, it's been a long time since I've done it at all), I'm inclined to say that, yes, your meal is to blame. What part of the meal specifically? Initial analysis points to the uncooked pie crust...but, after conferring with Ugly Cocksucker (who ate all of his uncooked pie crust as opposed to me eating about half yet seemed to feel fine), I'm left with only more questions about the cause of the ill feelings. Nevertheless, the incident has left me bitter toward salmon and, even moreso, bruschetta, the two flavors that haunt my violated throat and nose. In fact, sitting here right now, simply thinking about either of the two make me regain pukey sentiments. It really is the damndest thing.

So, to wrap this up, you delivered a fairly solid but slightly lackluster meal that probably (but maybe not) led to me having one of my worst nights in recent history. I award thee 7.4 points.

[tonguegina]

Beverage: Not big on wine, but I haven't counted off for it in the past and that will continue today.

Appetizer: Delicious. The best homemade bruschetta I've had.

Entree: The salmon was good. I'm not really one for fish, but this was pretty tasty. I too noticed that it was cold, as I noticed the asparagus was undercooked. I know this was your second time making asparagus (you made it earlier for your girlfriend) and it kind of makes me wonder if you knew that it was undercooked or not.

Dessert: Pretty solid, aside from the uncooked pie crust. I personally also would have enjoyed a larger whip cream to cream cheese ratio, but that's just me.

In the End: It was an alright meal, but we've had better. I can't decide if I like this or the meatloaf better, so I'll give them the same score...8.0

[Ugly Bastard]

Mr. tonguegina prepared our twenty-sixth meal of the year last week. Due to some forgetfulness, procrastination, and Nubblies availability problems; I am reviewing this a week later, and for that, I apologize.

Beverage: Michalob Honey Laber

Wasn't really a fan to be honest. I'm not docking points for this, 'cause the fact that you bought us beer is great, but I've never liked honey-based beers.

Appetizer: Roasted Asparagus wrapped in Panchetta with Lemon Butter

Pretty god damn delicious. In general, I'm starting to get burnt out on the asparagus every week, but this made a great appetizer what with it being wrapped in panchetta and all.

Main Course: Seared Ribeye Steak with Lemon Spaghetti and Asparagus

Finally we popped the steak cherry on our meals. This was a great main course. However, it should be noted that I didn't really find the steak to be anything special. It was a good flavorful cut. I mean, it tasted good enough to me that I could tell you didn't buy the cheap shit, but beyond that it was pretty boring. It was basically steak put in a skillet, and then on my plate. Some various seasonings or au-jus or even some steak sauce would have done wonders for me on the steak.

The lemon spaghetti was out of this world. Send me the recipie for that sometime. I think I might have eaten half of everything you made. I hope that didn't offend anyone else, but I just couldn't stop going up for more. It was unreal-good. Possibly the best startch portion of a main course we've had all year.

The asparagus was fine, but I certainly wasn't elbowing my way up for seconds. Basically the same thing we had as an appetizer, only w/o the panchetta.

Dessert: Oreo Cream Pie

Absolutely phenomenal. This was the same thing you served for your last meal, only you fixed our lone complaint by giving us a bigger portion. Fucking badass dessert. Loved it. No complaints at all.

Conclusion

tonguegina, in your last meal of the year, you provided your best effort. It wasn't quite perfect IMO, but it was knocking on perfect's door. You did a helluva job this year and win my award for most consistent improvement. 9.5

[f3lix]

tonguegina, my lord you made a fantastic meal!

While I didn't totally understand the meat-wrapped asparagus, it was quite delicious.

The steak was your only faulter of the meal, as it was slightly overcooked at some points. Other than that it was terrific. The spaghetti was easily a top 5 choice for menu item of the year. The Asparagus and dipping sauce was also quite phenominal.

while you continued the tradition of serving something similar to the previous week, I wasn't sad to see it being the dessert.

The entire meal was excellent, and aside from the overcooked steak, this meal was lacking nothing.

9.9

[Orgazmo]

The beverage was good. Not make-me-cum good, but good nonetheless. Thanks for introducing me to it.

The appetizer was even better. Combine that delicious meat with that delicious veggie...and add a delicious dip...? Christ. That did make me cum. Twice.

The main dish didn't break this trend. Though I too found the steak boring...and, on top of this, I didn't like the searing results at all (and, believe it or not, found it to be the meal's weak link), it was still pretty damned good. The wonderful aparagus and out of this world (but maybe a bit too lemony for me) spaghetti that was found at its sides more than made up for any small shortcomings that it presented.

The dessert? Christ. It was a sequel that fixed all of the errs of that which came before. Kudos for that.

All in all, my only regret with the meal is that I feel I had too much alcohol in my system to appreciate it as it deserved. Even still, it was god damned amazing and I thank you for your efforts.

I give you 9.4 points.

[Repugnant Abomination]

Originally Posted by Ugly Bastard

f3lix's cumulative rating totals after 7 meals: 166.7

tonguegina's cumulative rating totals after 7 meals: 179.0

Ugly Bastard's cumulative rating totals after 6 meals: 152.7

Orgazmo's cumulative rating totals after 6 meals: 154.9

-Ugly Bastard

So basically, you lost.

[Ironic Mustache]

Bump?

[Repugnant Abomination]

What? It's only been 2 1/2 years.

[Orgazmo]

Guys...why'd I beat all of your asses so handily?

[f3lix]

I still can't cook for shit.