DJ FC's Amazon.com (.co.uk) Games

[DJ FC]

As I posted here, I have decided to play a little game with Amazon.co.uk.

I subscribe to Amazon Prime, which is a fixed fee for an entire year for free next-day shipping on a large number of items on Amazon, many of which are under $1. I will order one small item every day for my personal amusement and post the items which I have purchased. Every time I order an item, somebody has to box it up, and give it to a delivery man who has to hand deliver it to my office receptionist. Many times he has no other reason for being in my building. It brings me great joy to command so much labor for such a low price.

I find my bargains here.

Day 1:

Crayola Coloured Crayons ( 8 Pack ): Amazon.co.uk: Toys & Games

Day 2:

T-Mobile Pre-Pay SIM Card: Amazon.co.uk: Electronics & Photo

Day 3:

Topps Match Attax Football 09/10 Season Booster Pack: Amazon.co.uk: Toys & Games

[DJ FC]

Day 4:

ProStroke Golf: World Tour 2007 (PS2): Amazon.co.uk: PC & Video Games

[DJ FC]

Day 5: Venom Console Stand (Wii): Amazon.co.uk: PC & Video Games

[Mr. Mistoffelees]

There seems to be a major design flaw in the fact that there is no hole in the bottom of the stand to allow the air vent on the underneath on the console to breathe. I would be worried with the console over heating if I used this.

I'd drill some holes in that thing before u use it

[DJ FC]

I saw that before I bought it. Have no intention of actually using it.

[Mr. Mistoffelees]

You're a badass.

[DJ FC]

Day 6:

Mozart - Piano Concertos Nos 9 & 21: Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Lawrence Foster, North German Radio Symphony Orchestra, Yu Kosuge: Amazon.co.uk: Music

[DJ FC]

Day 7:

40w Bc Opal Gls Pearl Bulb: Amazon.co.uk: Lighting

[DJ FC]

I don't know if you guys realize how much excitement I get everyday when the package arrives.

Day 8:

Project Fashion (PC DVD): Amazon.co.uk: PC & Video Games

[DDTempest]

Can you up this to a $2 a day investment so that everything you get isn't so faggy?

[Mr. Blonde]

Originally Posted by DJ FC

I don't know if you guys realize how much excitement I get everyday when the package arrives.

I really don't think I do. I don't understand the point of spending money on something you're not going to use, even if it's only a little bit of it. I get that you're super rich and everything, so maybe it's little things like this that you get off on after experiencing what I can only guess are some of the best restaurants, clubs, and hotels in the world. I, a layman in a relatively low socioeconomic status, can't seem to share this excitement with you.

[DDTempest]

Originally Posted by Mr. Blonde

I really don't think I do. I don't understand the point of spending money on something you're not going to use, even if it's only a little bit of it. I get that you're super rich and everything, so maybe it's little things like this that you get off on after experiencing what I can only guess are some of the best restaurants, clubs, and hotels in the world. I, a layman in a relatively low socioeconomic status, can't seem to share this excitement with you.

He buys something for $1 that costs them roughly $3 to process and ship, on the low end. He's sticking it to the man

[Mr. Blonde]

I get it...except isn't he kind of The Man?

[DDTempest]

Not if he does this! He's more like Robin Hood now

[DDTempest]

Or Batman.

[Orgazmo]

I understand the excitement and all of that, but I don't like having shit that I don't use. It bothers me. Like a lot of the stuff Blonde sent me. It's fun to have because it's new...but then, 2 days later, it's just shit sitting on my desk with no purpose.

On the flipside, since this is all new stuff that has a purpose, I couldn't bring myself to just throw it away.

That's why I would never do this.

But I understand your enthusiasm.

[DJ FC]

Originally Posted by Mr. Blonde

I really don't think I do. I don't understand the point of spending money on something you're not going to use, even if it's only a little bit of it. I get that you're super rich and everything, so maybe it's little things like this that you get off on after experiencing what I can only guess are some of the best restaurants, clubs, and hotels in the world. I, a layman in a relatively low socioeconomic status, can't seem to share this excitement with you.

Blonde are you really going to be that emo fuck. Really? Really?

It's $1/day and it provides 10+ people (plus nubblies) great amusement. It's a shitty free thing that the UPS guy brings every day!

And to Orgasmo - We don't treat these things as gargabe... we use them in creative ways. So far we have used the crayons to color on every item... we also destroyed the Wii stand in a very cool fashion (jumping on it).

[Mr. Mistoffelees]

lol blonde you are so strange

[Mr. Blonde]

Both of you, tell me how i'm being emo and strange. Go ahead.

EDIT: Is it the same UPS guy every day?

[Mr. Mistoffelees]

Originally Posted by Mr. Blonde

Is it the same UPS guy every day?

Strangest question someone could possibly ask in this context. Only a mild autistic would ask such a question.

Also do you think DJFC is sitting in a rocking chair next to the window ready to greet the UPS guy everyday? I'll bet your imagination ran wild w that one. The UPS guy delivers to the goddamn receptionist. Hayseed.

[Mr. Blonde]

You act as if i've ever worked with a receptionist before, or had something shipped to me at work.

Regardless, if the answer is "no" to the UPS question, then it's even less amusing than before.

[Mr. Mistoffelees]

No Blonde, you have it backwards. YOU act as if i've ever worked with a receptionist before, or had something shipped to you at work.

You silly motherfucker.

[Mr. Blonde]

Calling me a strange hayseedy motherfucker won't help your argument.

EDIT: Which, by the way, I don't know what it consists of.

[Fruitacious B]

Just a thought, but perhaps this Amazon deal could be combined with the Business Reply By Mail gimmick to stick it to The Man (The Men?) even more.

[Mr. Mistoffelees]

Originally Posted by Mr. Blonde

Calling me a strange hayseedy motherfucker won't help your argument.

EDIT: Which, by the way, I don't know what it consists of.

Blonde has become very effective at deflecting criticism. He seems to have developed a heuristic to optimally play an I have feelings or I'm an intellectual card and several slight variations where appropriate. He usually does this by adding fancy prefixes to words like psuedo, neo, and other morphemes we know a barnrat like him couldn't possibly comprehend, but mimic from internet intellectuals he sees on youtube videos.

I'm not going to let it slide anymore. I know I can train him to be better than he is now with more sophisticated positive and negative reinforcement techniques than I have tried to use previously. I will start by not addressing Blonde directly until he displays behavior that is desirable, and not bitchy and emo (positive reinforcement).