Ayatollah

[THEINCREDIBLEdork]

Post picture of a person from this picture who looks like they are mentally handicapped:

How I Made a 1,474-Megapixel Photo During President Obama's Inaugural Address | David Bergman -- ALL ACCESS -- sports, concert, and music photographer

The picture most resembling a tard posted by 10pm EST Wednesday recieves internets.

[ninjaface]

Can I post the most retarded one I just found while I search for more?

[THEINCREDIBLEdork]

of course

[ninjaface]

and can I post as many as I want?

[THEINCREDIBLEdork]

Do the rules say you can't you fuckwit?

[Orgazmo]

[THEINCREDIBLEdork]

I knew someone would post that one and I vowed to take away internets from who ever the predictable bastard would be...

[ninjaface]

Originally Posted by THEINCREDIBLEdork

Do the rules say you can't you fuckwit?

I asked because I'd rather know for sure now than be surprised later.

[Orgazmo]

Obligatory

[f3lix]

I see two million equally retarded people.

[Cocktooth]

Then those 2 milllion retarded people will bring you more money in your right pocket. Give it a bit of time, but afterwards, what propoganda are you going to throw our way??? I can't wait!!

[f3lix]

Dear American Liberals, Leftists, Social Progressives, Socialists, Marxists, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile, slate it up to irreconcilable differences, and go our own ways.

Here is a model dissolution agreement: Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure
our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes. We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell (you are however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan Hockey Moms, greedy CEO's, and Rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood. You can make nice with Iran, Palestine ,France, and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protestors. When our allies or way of life are under assault, we'll provide them job security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian Values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Toyota Prius you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare, if you can find any practicing Doctors (that is practicing, Howard Dean) who will follow to your turf (sic). We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and The National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach The World To Sing", "Kumbaya", or "We Are the World". We'll practice trickle-down economics, and you can give trickle-up poverty its best shot.

Since it often so offends you we'll keep our History, our Name, and our Flag.

Would you agree to this?

In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you anything on who will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
Stephen Stickler
Small Business Owner
American

P.S. Please take Barbara Streisand.

[Repugnant Abomination]

Boo fuckin' hoo.

[TwoBlackEyes]

Originally Posted by f3lix

Dear American Liberals, Leftists, Social Progressives, Socialists, Marxists, et al:

Dear Red States...

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have
kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and
hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of
America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and
condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,
Blue States

[f3lix]

Notice a standard liberal interpretation. They can't defend their politics, so they decide to take the argument by states instead of ideology. They try to create material out of an immaterial argument. So standard, it's expected.

[f3lix]

I can't help but also note that in my post, there are numerous tongue-in-cheek references to our own kind and we are generous in giving you exactly what you want.

TBE's post is full of selfish look what we'll take and leave with you thoughts and can't provide any self-humiliation. To follow all this up, TBE's argument is so goofy at the end.

"Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties."

What do morals have to do with the previous argument. It is then followed by By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

I mean... wow...

[TwoBlackEyes]

Originally Posted by f3lix

What do morals have to do with the previous argument. It is then followed by By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

I mean... wow...

Dude, you cut and paste a stupid chain email into this thread. I did the same. It's equally lame on both sides. Pull up your panties and stop crying. Jesus.

[Repugnant Abomination]

I love it. I love it so, so very much.

[TwoBlackEyes]

Dear American Liberals, Leftists, Social Progressives, Socialists, Marxists, et al:

I love how you lump all these groups together. I get the feeling that you have no idea what half of them even believe or stand for.

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce.

Where did you get that idea? When have communists ever been willing to "stick together" with right-wing conservatives?

I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.

Of course you haven't "tolerated" anything. Conservatives have tried to push all dissidents into second-class status for as long as they have been around. "Tolerating" someone else does NOT include passing legislation to criminalize the lifestyles of others.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile, slate it up to irreconcilable differences, and go our own ways.

Or, you know, you guys can secede so that you can have slavery and work around that pesky bothersome constitution. That worked so well for you last time.

Here is a model dissolution agreement: Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sureour two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes. We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

Should be interesting to see how your country functions without taxation. I'm sure everyone will be more than happy to go out on the weekends and maintain your infrastructure. And when people lose their jobs, I'm sure you won't mind when they rob you just so they can put food on the table. When your house is burning, you can feel free to negotiate with whatever private firefighting business is in town to see if you can reach a deal on putting out the fire. I'm sure they'll be willing to negotiate a low fee with you.

As for the ACLU, I do like my civil liberties so I think we'd all be glad to keep them around.

Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.

How do you intend to pay for those cops and military since you've gotten rid of taxes? We'll go ahead and keep a national guard to protect ourselves from direct aggression. Enjoy funding your foreign wars without the tax income of 2/3 of the country's taxpayers, as the majority of those with higher education voted blue this year, as did the celebrities you malign.

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street

.

Enjoy that. They'll still sell to us when we want them, but we won't have to keep subsidizing them with tax cuts while still paying for their products. Thanks.

You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens

.

We'll also keep the majority of educated Americans, thanks.

We'll keep the hot Alaskan Hockey Moms, greedy CEO's, and Rednecks.

I fail to see why you'd want these people, but you seem thrilled to have them, so that's fine. Since red states take more from the government than they pay into it, I'm sure you'll be happy to keep subsidizing them. Blue states cost less than we pay in taxes, so maybe our bleeding hearts will be willing to send you something when you come knocking. Also, Alaska is the #1 biggest tax draining state in the union. Enjoy your maverick.

We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

We clearly win there.

You can make nice with Iran, Palestine ,France, and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protestors.

Sounds good to us. While you're pissing off the world and making enemies, we can go about our business unnoticed. Sounds awesome.

When our allies or way of life are under assault, we'll provide them job security.

You're going to give job security to your way of life? What?

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian Values.

YAY theocracy. Sounds like Judeo-Christian hell.

You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain.

No thank you. We'll take rational atheism though. Islam and Scientology are both right-wing, thanks.

You can have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

Don't worry. You aren't paying the bill. You're a drain on the tax system.

We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Toyota Prius you can find.

Great. I'll actually be able to find a parking space and our gas will be far cheaper.

You can give everyone healthcare, if you can find any practicing Doctors (that is practicing, Howard Dean) who will follow to your turf (sic). We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

So while half your population is dying from treatable illness, we'll just have to "settle" for the standard of healthcare that third world countries like Canada (and the rest of Europe) enjoy. Oh darn.

We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and The National Anthem.

We'll keep almost all of the decent music created in the last 100 years. Damn all those stupid lefty musicians!

We'll practice trickle-down economics, and you can give trickle-up poverty its best shot.

You can practice a proven failure of an economic system, and we'll actually use taxes to help the people.

Since it often so offends you we'll keep our History, our Name, and our Flag.

Of course those things don't offend us. What offends us is what YOU are trying to turn them into. If you'd stop embarrassing us, we'd be more proud of those things.

Would you agree to this?

In general, yes. But the world doesn't need another Iran, so it's probably a bad idea.

In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you anything on who will need whose help in 15 years.

Ha, I would take that bet in a heartbeat

[f3lix]

Thank you TBE. Thank you. While I'm secretly upset that you divulged to everybody that I posted a chain email (I thought it being signed by another person at the bottom might not give it away, therefore I could claim it as my own), I gotta give you credit. You caught me red handed.

Since you're such a great explorer, I think it's about time you reach into your shit and feel for lumps. Once you've determined your status on breast cancer (thank God for breast cancer, btw, men needed an equalizer to remove stupid women from the world) you can then take out your camera and

Show us your God Damned TITZ

[Repugnant Abomination]

Don't get angry because she fucking owned your retarded ass.

[TwoBlackEyes]

Originally Posted by f3lix

Thank you TBE. Thank you. While I'm secretly upset that you divulged to everybody that I posted a chain email

What you should really be upset about it having such a failure of an argument that you had to retreat to your sad little standby of ignoring the topic to talk about the fact that I'm a woman.

Use some preparation H - I hear it soothes the butt-hurt.

[vaga1220 *]

[f3lix]

Originally Posted by TwoBlackEyes

I love how you lump all these groups together. I get the feeling that you have no idea what half of them even believe or stand for.



Where did you get that idea? When have communists ever been willing to "stick together" with right-wing conservatives?



Of course you haven't "tolerated" anything. Conservatives have tried to push all dissidents into second-class status for as long as they have been around. "Tolerating" someone else does NOT include passing legislation to criminalize the lifestyles of others.



Or, you know, you guys can secede so that you can have slavery and work around that pesky bothersome constitution. That worked so well for you last time.



Should be interesting to see how your country functions without taxation. I'm sure everyone will be more than happy to go out on the weekends and maintain your infrastructure. And when people lose their jobs, I'm sure you won't mind when they rob you just so they can put food on the table. When your house is burning, you can feel free to negotiate with whatever private firefighting business is in town to see if you can reach a deal on putting out the fire. I'm sure they'll be willing to negotiate a low fee with you.

As for the ACLU, I do like my civil liberties so I think we'd all be glad to keep them around.



How do you intend to pay for those cops and military since you've gotten rid of taxes? We'll go ahead and keep a national guard to protect ourselves from direct aggression. Enjoy funding your foreign wars without the tax income of 2/3 of the country's taxpayers, as the majority of those with higher education voted blue this year, as did the celebrities you malign.

.

Enjoy that. They'll still sell to us when we want them, but we won't have to keep subsidizing them with tax cuts while still paying for their products. Thanks.

.

We'll also keep the majority of educated Americans, thanks.



I fail to see why you'd want these people, but you seem thrilled to have them, so that's fine. Since red states take more from the government than they pay into it, I'm sure you'll be happy to keep subsidizing them. Blue states cost less than we pay in taxes, so maybe our bleeding hearts will be willing to send you something when you come knocking. Also, Alaska is the #1 biggest tax draining state in the union. Enjoy your maverick.


We clearly win there.



Sounds good to us. While you're pissing off the world and making enemies, we can go about our business unnoticed. Sounds awesome.



You're going to give job security to your way of life? What?



YAY theocracy. Sounds like Judeo-Christian hell.



No thank you. We'll take rational atheism though. Islam and Scientology are both right-wing, thanks.



Don't worry. You aren't paying the bill. You're a drain on the tax system.



Great. I'll actually be able to find a parking space and our gas will be far cheaper.



So while half your population is dying from treatable illness, we'll just have to "settle" for the standard of healthcare that third world countries like Canada (and the rest of Europe) enjoy. Oh darn.



We'll keep almost all of the decent music created in the last 100 years. Damn all those stupid lefty musicians!



You can practice a proven failure of an economic system, and we'll actually use taxes to help the people.



Of course those things don't offend us. What offends us is what YOU are trying to turn them into. If you'd stop embarrassing us, we'd be more proud of those things.



In general, yes. But the world doesn't need another Iran, so it's probably a bad idea.



Ha, I would take that bet in a heartbeat

TL;DR

[Ugly Bastard]

Ditto. All I could think as I scrolled past that message was, "wow... this is super long. I'd probably at least peruse it if I had seen some titties by now, oh well."