Hot-Shotting

[Ugly Bastard]

It occurred to me recently that I'm way too stuck up when it comes to standard of living. I realized this when thinking to myself that if poker goes really well in the next few months, I might upgrade to some type of a $2k/month beachfront condo or something.

Then I was like... wait a minute... what the fuck... why would I spend that much money on a place to live?

I took this further and realized that the only reason spending that kind of money would ever even really occur to me in the first place is to try to attract women. I do way to much of this "hot-shotting" behavior to attract women. This is a great tactic for, say, professional wrestlers. Hot-shot to get the crowd's attention so they'll buy tickets and come through the doors. But applying same logic to women just gets you stuck in a miserable hellhole of a relationship like the one I just got out of where you over-advertise yourself to attract her in the first place then have all sorts of problems when reverting back to your core product.

It's just so senseless. Why hot-shot? Why over-advertise yourself? Why do I even pay $900/month for a place when I'd be perfectly happy in a $600/month place? Does anyone really feel like they deserve and belong in some uber-nice dwelling? Or is it all just a form of over-advertising yourself?

If and when I come back to the U.S., I'm going to be way more of a tomato-loving bum. I'm still ambitious. I'll still work. I'll still keep my eye out for big-money making opportunities. But in the meantime, I'll stop giving a shit about trying to impress anyone. This relationship ruined me in this way; I could pretty much give a shit less about trying to attract some woman right now. I know, I know, eventually that will change. But when it does, I'm going to be sure to do it with more of an honest approach for my overall situation. "Hi, here's my $400/month apartment, here's the sports-jacket I wear to the dive bar where I only bring $10 cash because that's all my budget allows. I recommend you go for the $1 special if you want more than one drink."

Why give a shit about impressing anyone? All of those false-reality things you do to impress people just end up coming back to bite you in the ass anyway. Fuck nice things. If I ever buy them, it'll be because I want them, not because I give a shit what anyone else thinks.

tl;dr: Fuck the materialistic, $40k millionaire culture. I'm embracing the "live below your means and be proud of it and not give a shit about anyone who would judge you for it" approach.

[Ugly Bastard]

I just realized that I can be a bum making pennies and I'll be fine. I won't care. This is such a great realization. Life is a total freeroll. Nothing to lose.

[Saint DH]

Pretty solid truths here. A couple comments on it all: first, the type of women that are attracted to the hot-shots (or hot-dogs as I like to call it) probably aren't the kind you want to be with (assuming that you're not just interested in sex). Second, the only way to acquire actual wealth is by living below your means. Most people who live the high-life are in debt up to their assholes. You don't have to make a lot of money to have a lot of money. You just have to invest what you do earn wisely. Of course, it does take time.

[SittinOnDubsWGW]

I don't live anywhere near above my means, but in the past, I was horrible at saving.

House hunting has changed my attitude toward saving quite a bit, and I've done pretty well on changing my spending habits over the past 6 months or so and throwing the extra in savings.

[Mr. Blonde]

Don't forget that a big part of this isn't just attracting women, but also basically having a dick-measuring contest with other dudes. I've never really understood this facet of human behavior, but it's a pretty common trope. Think: bragging about jobs/incomes, comparing lawns/toys, etc. Generally, it revolves around the delusion of having more money makes you superior. (but it clearly makes your life a lot easier and gives you more power, but only in the right kind of situations) The only way you can really combat this is by having more wit and social prowess than most rich people, which, isn't really that hard in most cases.

American Psycho: Business Card Scene - YouTube

American Psycho: Business Card Scene - YouTube

[Ugly Bastard]

That's one of my favorite movie scenes. God that movie is awesome.

[tonguegina]

I'm in a very similar situation right now UB. I'm just kind of scraping by paycheck to paycheck right now and am realizing why the fuck was I paying so much to do this or that on a regular basis? I can go out to some dive bar and pay $30 to get a buzz or I can split a $10 bottle of vodka with a friend, get trashed, and have way more fun.

And yes, American Psycho is a bad ass movie and it does the book quite a bit of justice. Have you read any Bret Easton Ellis? I really think you guys would enjoy him. His first book, Less than Zero, is definitely my favorite.

[angry pancake]

Haven't thought about shit like this in years. It's not worth getting worked up over. Used to get pissed off at the IRL bloody fart types (don't really know enough about bloody to tell if he was trolling) that I knew from a distance. Oddly enough, the folks I've met who are/were stupid wealthy my age have generally been pretty cool going back from my late teens through today. I've run across more than my share of middle class who think they're wealthy and are assholes such as UB references.

There's nothing wrong with living in a nice and expensive place if you can afford it. I think the problem is from those who crash the neighborhood and can't afford it. Those who are in the high rent area and have been for a while probably don't even think of the topic like this one. I'd bet the overwhelming majority of the "1%" are oblivious to this concept.

Most of the guys I've known who were crazy rich grew up with hot girls and are used to them being around. I seriously doubt AP would be impressing any bitches at The Petroleum Club for example, everybody there knows I'm not a member. Unless they were impressed (and easily amused) that I got by security. If I ever saw the types from the clip at a place like The Flying Saucer, I'd have wondered years ago "what the fuck are these guys doing here? Armando over there is probably going to knife him in the parking lot." I'm sure if Mark Cuban wanted to go to the Flying Saucer for a few beers (and wasn't whoring himself out for basketball publicity), the place would just be "closed for private party."

tl;dr
AP has no idea what he's talking about.

[Mr. Blonde]

Originally Posted by angry pancake

There's nothing wrong with living in a nice and expensive place if you can afford it..

Agreed. I tend to think people generally have a problem with how wealthy (or ostensibly wealthy) people act rather than just a have/have-not situation. I guess it's just the age-old problem of money changing people -- if they were brought up with money with fairly dickhead parents, they are likely to be dickheads. If they come into money and have some sort of mental complex, as most of us do, they are probably going to be dickheads.

I imagine it's hard for the non-introspective person to manage the ego that comes with money wisely and not end up being a douche -- male or female.

[vaga1220 *]

You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

[DJ FC]

Your Mercedes wasn't enough. Your gold chains weren't enough.

[ProfessorNumber]

I think the old adage of "all good things in moderation," is probably appropriate here. Like most things in life, a healthy balance tends to be the best approach. Obviously excessive materialism is not healthy. It's hard to deny that. Nonetheless, is the opposite approach any better?

I wholeheartedly agree that people who live above their means are both remarkably stupid and, in many cases, wastes of life. At the same time, a small amount of 'financial envy' is a good thing. Think about it. You're at the office -- it's 7:00pm -- and you are debating whether to invest another hour in the presentation you have to give to the CFO tomorrow. What motivates you to keep going? Job security? Maybe. Personal Pride? Perhaps. Future success, and your prospects of upward mobility in the company? Probably. On a similar note, when you're thinking about buying a new car do you really want a Honda Civic sedan? Sure, it gets great mileage, has a solid warranty, and will be fairly reliably in the long run. But... it's a fucking Honda Civic sedan! That BMW 335i across the street is just so much more appealing! I believe that thought process is what allows us to justify the extra efforts we may otherwise forgo. It's that thought process that allows us to push ourselves toward greater financial gain. Sure, I don't need a BMW 335i, but I'd really rather be driving the 335i than a Civic. To that extent, a certain amount of financial envy and drive is healthy.

We all know at least a couple people in our lives who have are unmotivated in most respects -- they wear the same clothes they did 6 years ago, haven't taken a new job or promotion in the last 3 years, and are content watching the same Seinfeld reruns that were funny back in the late 90's. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being frugal, getting the most out of your clothes, or finding Seinfeld funny. However, I don't believe I would be content living a complacent life. I would not be content settling for a girlfriend I could objectively consider a 7. I would not be content accepting a job with no prospects of future advancement. I would not be content buying a Civic, knowing that I will never own a 335i. For those reasons, a certain amount of financial envy and drive is healthy.

All that being said, I'm not trying to rationalize the thought process behind the "30k-millionaires" we all know. I'm simply saying that there's nothing wrong with thinking about what could be if I reached a higher level of financial means. Trust me, I'm most comfortable in bars where I can hold an intelligent conversation without trying to shout over house music. I still own and wear polo shirts I bought in high school. I would also never enter a relationship with a woman -- regardless of how hot she was -- where the strength of our relationship was predicated upon my wealth. Nonetheless, I'd be a liar if I said I didn't care what other people thought about me. Call it vanity if you want, but I do want to be perceived as successful, and as long as the image I portray is not grossly out of line with the reality of my pay-checks, I don't think I'm living wrong.

[DJ FC]

I think a lot of the time the perception of success creates success.

[Fruitacious B]

[THEINCREDIBLEdork]

I thought this thread was going to be about a new unique way of ejaculating or ejaculating on someone.

The title should probably be edited to warn people its not.