Official Instant Messenger Thread (Where you fuck with people's lives for our fun)

[Titan]

UB, you have no idea of the magnitude of the tears of joy I just cried... wow... if you looked like a golden calf I may just be worshiping you right now.

Bless you, you Bastardly Bastard.

[Ugly Bastard]

Remember Steffeeeeee? I do, and she remembers me, God Bless.

Before you read this, read my last post in this thread, so you understand this one better.

Steffeeeeee: hey, remember me?
Steffeeeeee: i have a bone to pick with you
UB: go ahead
Steffeeeeee: well, when you told me that dean liked me, and i told you that i felt the same, i thought that he would actually say something to me about it
Steffeeeeee: i got impatient and asked him sunday night about what you told me
Steffeeeeee: he denied even knowing you
Steffeeeeee: what's going on/
UB: he told me a few nights ago that he changed his mind about liking you...that's why he denied knowing me, 'cause he didn't want to admit that he told me he liked you
Steffeeeeee: he changed his mind about me?
Steffeeeeee: what's that about?
UB: i dunno....you know how he is
Steffeeeeee: true
Steffeeeeee: well, i still feel like an ass about it
Steffeeeeee: this makes me see him in a whole different light though
UB: well i'm sorry to hear that.....
UB: yeah he's a real dick head i think.
Steffeeeeee: why are you friends with him if he's such a dick?
UB: he's my good friend and everything, but if i were you, i would stay away from him
Steffeeeeee: yeah
Steffeeeeee: well, i know that now
UB: 'cause all guys are dicks
Steffeeeeee: haha
Steffeeeeee: not that that's funny
UB: some guys even talk to girls they don't know and ruin their lives, and post their conversations on websites......dean has done that before
Steffeeeeee: are you serious?
Steffeeeeee: oh my god
UB: yeah
Steffeeeeee: i don't even know if i want to be his friend now.
UB: yeah, i wouldn't be his friend if i were you....he's hurt a lot of girls...he just uses them for their bodies, and then dumps them.
Steffeeeeee: i'm having a hard time believing all this
UB: there are two sides to dean
Steffeeeeee: the whole time i've known him, he's never been anything but nice to me or anyone else
UB: yeah....but when girls aren't around, he's a complete jackass about you guys
Steffeeeeee: why are you telling me all this now, when you were so gung ho about hooking us up before?
UB: because he actually seemed like he liked you...then come to find out, he was just leading you on like he does with everyone else
Steffeeeeee: that's fucking sick.
Steffeeeeee: i don't understand
Steffeeeeee: why are you friends with him?
UB: i dunno...he's a cool guy around me and stuff...he just treats girls like dicks.
UB: do you want my advice to you?
Steffeeeeee: sure
UB: masturbate

-Ugly Bastard

[This message has been edited by Ugly Bastard (edited February 17, 2003).]

[Titan]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Ugly Bastard:
some guys even talk to girls they don't know and ruin their lives, and post their conversations on websites......<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


AAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Eherm*. Sorry for the waste of space, just wanted to illustrate how fucking hilarious that was.

[This message has been edited by Orgazmo (edited February 12, 2003).]

So I'm sitting here doing nothing at all when I get added to the list of Kate Davis (ICQ #145889382), a Senior in college majoring in Marketing. She starts asking me questions for a college project regarding marketing bottled water in a foreign country. Of course, this makes no sense to me since because I live in Indiana...but I play along. Half way through...it dawns on me that it says I'm from Ethiopia in my profile. Hilarity ensues...

Kate: Hi, I am doing research for an international marketing college project... can I ask you a few questions? (please)

a Pirate: sure

Kate: thank you.... please don't think I'm being stereotypical when I ask them... we are having to introduce a product into a foreign country and we are focusing on bottled water.... Can you buy bottled water where you live?

a Pirate: I sure can, Kate, I sure can

Kate: Do you have to to obtain "clean" water?
Do you have filtration systems?

a Pirate: I'll be honest, I don't know what the first question is asking.
Not really sure about the second one either...
do you mean filtration systems inside of the house?

Kate: Yes, do you have to have filtration systems inside the house in order to drink your water?

a Pirate: yeah

Kate: What do you do there in Ethiopia?
Do you go to school? Work...?

a Pirate: I spend most of my day hunting for food. It normally depends...but I normally have to dedicate at least half of the day to getting enough food to keep my family alive. The rest of the day is spent peddling stolen goods.

Kate: Do you have a computer in your home?

a Pirate: Oh no no no, a computer inside of the home is virtually unheard of over here. I have to travel to the local book depository to use the internet

Kate: Is bottled water considered a luxary item or expensive?

a Pirate: Yes, it is a luxury item...but, then again, most anything of any type of quality is a luxury item over here. Another thing to take into consideration is the fact that there are varying levels of bottled water. Some companies simply dip recycled bottles into the river and try to sell it off as "Bottled Water." This is what most Ethiopians purchase for special occasions and the such, but the really good bottled water, the stuff from the manufacturers based in America cost quite a bit. I would compare the value of a 12 pack of bottled water to a honey-glazed ham over here.

Kate: WOW.... I wish I could zap some water to you right now......
Has you or any one of your family members gotten sick from drinking contaminated water?

a Pirate: That's awfully kind of you, Kate, I really appreciate it.
I actually just had a bottle of Jima (what we called the "luxury water") the other day. I got it from the mayor of my city as a prize for helping catch a serial murderer. It was quite a spectacle. The entire town gathered in the center to witness me getting the bottle. It was a sight for sore eyes.

Kate: Are you being serious? Where exactly are you located at in Ethiopia?

a Pirate: Yes, I think all ethiopians (save those in high political positions) have been the victim of contaminated water. In fact, I think it's safe to say that upwards of 85% of an average ethiopian's life is spent feeling sick due to tainted water.

a Pirate: Yeah, I'm completely serious. I'm located in a small village outside of Addis Abada...about 35 miles outside

Kate: I am fascinated.... congratulations!

a Pirate: Thank you very much. It honestly was one of the greatest moments of my life. How are things over in the States in regards to bottled water? How does it rank as a luxury item?

Kate: Its like a can of soda...it costs $1.00....it really is nothing. But where I live in my apartment the water that comes out of my facuet tastes horrible so I filter it.

But it does not make me sick. It comes from a lake in my area that is filtered into the city.

a Pirate: What kind of filters do you get? We have "filters"...but they don't seem to do much at all...they're simply screens that filter out teh dead fish parts

Kate: Do you have any other interesting data concerning your water supply? I'm sorry if this is boring. It is important information that I will use to write a paper and debate in my class

The filters here in America purify the water, simply making it taste better. There is nothing wrong with tap water here. I believe some forget how unfornunate others are in the other parts of the world.

a Pirate: I don't really nkow...it's all just kinda common knowledge here...i don't know what you really know and don't know.

Kate: Do you have running water in your house?

What time is it there?

a Pirate: I have a small hand pump...I can pump it in from the outside, but it only goes to one basin. That one basin is used to wash clothes, ourselves, it's actually everything that uses water...

Another thing that may want to know is that the water actually changes colors here daily...depending on the weather...
Rainy weather pushes the nearby farm waste into the streams...making it more brown...clear weather keeps it it's normal greenish color

Kate: That is interesting...

If bottled water was affordable for you and your family would you buy it?

a Pirate: Oh yes, most certainly! Access to bottled water would help us tremendously

Kate: Do you have an e-mail address?

a Pirate: yes, Taintosaurus@hotmail.com

ahh, sorry, it's about 5:00 AM here

Kate: I might be e-mailing you. I really appreciate your time. You have no idea how much you've helped me. My college class has created a survey on the web. If you have a few more minutes to spare we would appreciate you filling it out
http://www.faculty.smsu.edu/c/cmh677f/ClassSurvey.htm

It is about american products

a Pirate: alright, i may look at that in a bit

Kate: You take care... I will pray for you and your family.

What is your name?

a Pirate: thank you
My given name is Adler Habsknikov

Kate: Thank you Adler... happy hunting

Good morning to you and good night for me!

a Pirate: good night

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Orgazmo:
We have "filters"...but they don't seem to do much at all...they're simply screens that filter out teh dead fish parts<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hahahahahhaahaha.

I also love how you make common english spelling errors, like spellings 'the' as 'teh'... This girl could not have been very smart and I hope she fails miserably on the project.

I also love how your last name sounds a lot like it is some Polish Jew.

Props on this beautiful post.

[victim]

Yes, the scary part is that she thinks that she's having this conversation with someone in a third world country, who does not access to clean water, BUT CAN USE THE INTERNET. Nobody thinks anymore.

[Ugly Bastard]

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard on a post in this thread. Nice work Orgazmo.

-Ugly Bastard

[Titan]

Godamnsumbitch.

That was fucking delightfully intelligent... or maybe it just seemed like it was because she was obviously so fucking stupid... I wish I could be there to watch her debate...

Kate's Opponent: Statistics show that bottles of clean water are sent over to third world countries through many programs in droves per month.

Kate: No! Even the clean bottled water is very, very, very rare! A friend of mine from Ethiopia, Adler, recently received just one bottle of clean water from the mayor of his city for capturing a serial murderer!

Kate's Opponent: Uh huh...

[Ugly Bastard]

I wish I could claim this convo as my own, but I took it from albinoblacksheep.com. It's fucking hilarious. Laugh out loud funny shit right here. "Wellhung" got this cybersex girl to talk to him...just read, and laugh:

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK.

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Can I help?

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately - our naked bodies pressing each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?

Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray,picture frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

Sweetheart: { [logged off]

Gold

-Ugly Bastard

[Fruitacious B]

Great stuff, that was hilarious. Just some advice for some of you victim hunters out there, don't use MTv chat rooms, you can't copy and paste, i got three hilarious ones there, but to no prevail as i can't paste them here. Keep it up guys.

[malibu]

I went into a chat room on aol and all i had to say was any guys wanna chat with a wild girl? Of course this dumbass sends me a message asking a/s/l... so I respond as follows.....
Me: [2:49 AM]: i'm 15/f/In
PhatPorsche05 [2:49 AM]: im 16 m oh
PhatPorsche05 [2:49 AM]: gotta pic
Munchkin13906 [2:50 AM]: nah... do you?
PhatPorsche05 [2:50 AM]: no sry
Me: [2:50 AM]: ok... so what are you into?
PhatPorsche05 [2:50 AM]: cyber
PhatPorsche05 [2:50 AM]: u
PhatPorsche05 [2:50 AM]: ?
Me: [2:51 AM]: whips, belts, handcuffs, and such
PhatPorsche05 [2:51 AM]: nice
PhatPorsche05 [2:51 AM]: do u like to b spankd
PhatPorsche05 [2:52 AM]: hard
Me: [2:52 AM]: no i like to be patted like a baby
Me: [2:52 AM]: nice and gentle
PhatPorsche05 [2:52 AM]: mmm
PhatPorsche05 [2:52 AM]: wat else
PhatPorsche05 [2:52 AM]: wat do u look like to babe
Me: [2:53 AM]: i am short, skinny, have blonde hair, and green eyes
PhatPorsche05 [2:53 AM]: nice
PhatPorsche05 [2:53 AM]: bra size/
Me:[2:53 AM]: what do you mean?
PhatPorsche05 [2:54 AM]: wats ur bra size?
Me: [2:54 AM]: do you wanna borrow one or something
PhatPorsche05 [2:54 AM]: no i wanna no how big ur boobs r
PhatPorsche05 [2:54 AM]: r they big
Me: [2:54 AM]: oh ya massive sometimes i walk through a door and get stuck because they are so big
PhatPorsche05 [2:54 AM]: no
Me: [2:55 AM]: no? are you saying that you don't belive me
Me: [2:55 AM]: what the fuck
PhatPorsche05 [2:56 AM]: im jokin jeez babe
PhatPorsche05 [2:56 AM]: r u skinny?
Me: [2:57 AM]: ya haha ok well i may have lied a little bit but they aren't small
PhatPorsche05 [2:57 AM]: so u were messin wit me
PhatPorsche05 [2:57 AM]: ok thats cool
PhatPorsche05 [2:57 AM]: so do they bounce
Me: [2:58 AM]: of course
PhatPorsche05 [2:58 AM]: do u like doggy style
Me: [2:59 AM]: i dont understand what you mean...
Me: [2:59 AM]: what's doggy style?
PhatPorsche05 [2:59 AM]: sex... guy standing behind u while ur bent over
Me:I prefer humans but i'm open to ideas
PhatPorsche05 [3:00 AM]: u no wat i mean
Me: [3:00 AM]: how would that work... you can't reach a dick that far unless it's pretty long
Me: [3:00 AM]: are you calling me a liar?
Me: [3:01 AM]: have you ever fucked a dog?
PhatPorsche05 [3:01 AM]: no u?
Me: [3:01 AM]: well only this one time...
Me: [3:02 AM]: he had this huge schlong... and man that dog knew how to work it
Me: [3:02 AM]: he was goin to town
Me: [3:03 AM]: What about a tree have you ever fucked a tree?
PhatPorsche05 [3:03 AM]: no
Me: [3:03 AM]: are you getting mad at me? because your tone is really starting to piss me off
Me: [3:04 AM]: have you ever been to jail
PhatPorsche05 [3:04 AM]: im not pist
PhatPorsche05 [3:04 AM]: no i havent
PhatPorsche05 [3:04 AM]: u?
Me: [3:05 AM]: ok... do you think i'm weird..
well one time i got picked up for underage prostitution but you know
PhatPorsche05 [3:05 AM]: really
Me: [3:05 AM]: really they took all of my whips and toys away from me and so i had to buy new ones
Me: [3:06 AM]: I kinda liked being handcuffed by the cop though
PhatPorsche05 [3:06 AM]: awsum
Me: [3:06 AM]: It made me feel dominated
PhatPorsche05 [3:06 AM]: ill handcuff u
Me:[3:06 AM]: why? are you a cop?
PhatPorsche05 [3:06 AM]: no but ill get a pair of cuffs
Me: [3:07 AM]: like shirt cuffs?
PhatPorsche05 [3:07 AM]: handcuffs
Me: [3:07 AM]: oh ya
Me: [3:07 AM]: I have chinese handcuffs
PhatPorsche05 [3:08 AM]: ok...
PhatPorsche05 [3:09 AM]: i have a boner
Me: [3:09 AM]: ya well i hope you think of fat old ladies and then lets see if you have a boner
Me: [3:10 AM]: fat old ladies fat old ladies
no better yet fat old bald men fat old bald men
Me: [3:10 AM]: tires
Me: [3:10 AM]: kindergarteners
Me: [3:10 AM]: nubblies
Me: [3:10 AM]: i love nubblies
PhatPorsche05 [3:11 AM]: pussy boobs sex ass
Me: [3:11 AM]: you pedantic piece of shit why aren't you answering me
PhatPorsche05 [3:12 AM]: bc ur abusive
Me: [3:14 AM]: You couldn't cyber with or fuck me no matter how hard you tried... it was nice fucking with your head... i'm normal and your a fucking wierdo... you'll cuff me my ass... i hope you choke yourself to death on rat poison... you're probably an ugly fuck who can't get any from anyone so why don't you go ask mommy if she'll suck your dick for you?! abusive? you ain't seen nothing yet, bitch! As of now, i declare you the ugliest fucker this side of the equator...
Me: [3:17 AM]: i bet that made you damn boner go away! thought you were gonna get some sweet talkin from some random little internet slut well guess what you can take that idea and shove it up your ass if there's any room you probably have too many cocks stuck up your ass to fit it up there
[PhatPorsche05 is no longer signed on]

[ June 21, 2003, 03:44 AM: Message edited by: malibu ]

[Ugly Bastard]

Damn Malibu!!

How about me liking you a lot more after reading that hilarious shit!

Jesus...didn't think you had that in ya. Good Good Good Work

Worth the read...

-Ugly Bastard

[malibu]

Much appreciated UB. I was hoping someone would get a laugh out of it. I certainly did.

[malibu]

haha more good stuff... read away... I almost got my ass in trouble for this and may have I don't really know... but anything for nubblies... enjoy
MrPrez1776 [12:00 AM]: Hi.
Me: [12:00 AM]: asl
MrPrez1776 [12:00 AM]: 15/M/CA. 16 in Sept.
Me: [12:01 AM]: oic... I'm 17 f KY
is this really the president/
MrPrez1776 [12:01 AM]: No. I'm not George Bush. If I was, I wouldn't be here.
MrPrez1776 [12:01 AM]: I wouldn't waste my time in chatrooms.
MrPrez1776 [12:02 AM]: I'd be off working with Congress, meeting with representatives with foriegn governments, and so on.
Me: [12:03 AM]: Ya well if you were George Bush, I'd probably have to find you and saw your legs off
MrPrez1776 [12:03 AM]: I see.
Me: [12:03 AM]: I do that to people who make me angry... my nickname is saw dust
MrPrez1776 [12:04 AM]: How's he mad you mad?
Me:[12:05 AM]: you mean make me mad... damn i thought i was the one from kentucky here... he's a piece of shit... much like you are
MrPrez1776 [12:05 AM]: What have I done?
Me: [12:05 AM]: sorry my temper took over
Me: [12:05 AM]: that was my angry side i like to call her betsy the bitch
Me: [12:07 AM]: fucking cunt whore take it bitch fucking die burn in hell, i'll saw your legs off, fucking shit, cunt, bitch.... ahhhhhhhh
MrPrez1776 [12:08 AM]: Please learn to control your temper.
Me: [12:08 AM]: god contain yourself now ruth your fine
Me: [12:08 AM]: Are you getting mouthy
MrPrez1776 [12:09 AM]: No, I'm just giving you a suggestion.
Me: [12:09 AM]: oh i understand... so would it be a problem for you if i was missing my two front teeth?
MrPrez1776 [12:10 AM]: Ummm... I don't think so.
Me: [12:10 AM]: my momma punched me and knocked them out one night when we were havin a scrap
MrPrez1776 [12:10 AM]: I'm sorry.
Me:[12:11 AM]: now im angry again...
Me:[12:11 AM]: it got me thinkin
Me: [12:11 AM]: ahhhh
Me: [12:11 AM]: shit gutter slut cum guzzling piece of shit you don't deserve to be alive... mr. prez? prez of what taking it up the ass?! most likely I hope you drown in the steaming pile of cow shit that you came from... I hope you learn to loosen up you dumb cunt whore otherwise you'll never get any pussy in your entire life... god damnit...
Me: [12:12 AM]: im terribly sory
Me: [12:12 AM]: i need to take some anger management
MrPrez1776 [12:12 AM]: Yes.
MrPrez1776 [12:12 AM]: I am quite good at containing anger.
Me: [12:12 AM]: its just i have always had this other personality that sometimes takes over
Me: [12:12 AM]: how old are you again?
MrPrez1776 [12:12 AM]: Almost 16.
Me: [12:15 AM]: cause you sound like you're 45 you piece of shit.... you try and act all mature... i bet you're a queerish little fag who reads the dictionary for fun... Loosen the fuck up.... I bet you don't know what a pussy is do you. Right after we finish this conversation, you're going to go cry to mommy that you got in a fight with some hillbilly girl in Kentucky... Do you like men MrPrez?! Do you like to take it up the ass? I bet you do! Daddy probably spanks you everynight and i dont mean discipline
MrPrez1776 [12:15 AM]: Please stop, or I will Notify AOL about you.
Me: [12:16 AM]: sorry
Me: [12:16 AM]: it's just you hurt my feelings
Me: [12:16 AM]: You made me feel dumb like daddy always used to do
MrPrez1776 [12:16 AM]: How?
MrPrez1776 [12:16 AM]: I don't try to.
Me: [12:16 AM]: I am not stupid
Me: [12:17 AM]: Just cause I only got a IQ of 80 don't make me dumb
MrPrez1776 [12:18 AM]: I don't think that's dumb.
Me: [12:18 AM]: you promise
Me: [12:18 AM]: oh darn i just hit the wrong key i meant to type 60
MrPrez1776 [12:18 AM]: Don't beat yourself up.
Me: [12:18 AM]: how would i do that?
MrPrez1776 [12:19 AM]: Work hard, try to make yourself better than you are.
Me: [12:19 AM]: That's why I like Betsy, my other personality she's more intelligent
Me: [12:19 AM]: are you a therapist?
MrPrez1776 [12:19 AM]: No. I'm just pretty sensitive.
Me: [12:19 AM]: are you gonna tell AOL on me
MrPrez1776 [12:20 AM]: Since you are containing yourself, I will not. However, another outburst, and I will.
Me: [12:20 AM]: how do you tell aol on people
Me: [12:20 AM]: and why
MrPrez1776 [12:20 AM]: Click the Notify AOL button if someone's being extremely offensive.
Me: [12:20 AM]: I'm sorry...
if I tell you something will you be angry
Me: [12:21 AM]: what do they do if you notify them because i have had some bad ones
MrPrez1776 [12:21 AM]: A sample of the conversation is forwarded to them so they know what happened.
Me: [12:21 AM]: well what do they do?
MrPrez1776 [12:22 AM]: I don't know. I've never had to notify AOL.
Me: [12:22 AM]: oh no i am getting angered again... run MrPrez run...
Me: [12:22 AM]: to http://www.nubblies.net/ubb/ultimate...1;t=000130;p=2 where our fabricated conversation will be!
[MrPrez1776 is no longer signed on]

[ June 21, 2003, 12:30 AM: Message edited by: malibu ]

[Fruitacious B]

nice, very nice.

[Orgazmo]

I'll be the first to admit that I've done much better work...but I haven't submitted one for awhile, so here's me fucking with an anonymous person via ICQ.

--------------------------------------
ICQ History Log For:
85520230 Odd
Started on Thu Jun 26 01:37:36 2003
--------------------------------------
Odd 6/25/200 11:58 PM hello!!!

a Pirate 6/25/200 11:59 PM hey!

Odd 6/25/200 11:59 PM what time is there?

a Pirate 6/25/200 11:59 PM 6 am

Odd 6/26/200 12:00 AM its really early, aren´t you sleepy?

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:00 AM no odd, i'm ethiopian...

Odd 6/26/200 12:00 AM so?

Odd 6/26/200 12:02 AM how old are you?

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:02 AM 12

Odd 6/26/200 12:03 AM 12??? you are young, what languaje do u speak
there?

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:03 AM adjazerbian

Odd 6/26/200 12:04 AM ok, your english is good

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:04 AM thanks, odd

Odd 6/26/200 12:04 AM how is there? is it cool?

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:04 AM very hot
i cook my breakfast on the sidewalk

Odd 6/26/200 12:05 AM hahaha, are u on vacations now? or you are in
school?

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:06 AM vacation, odd, vacation

Odd 6/26/200 12:07 AM ok, well i am from mexico

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:07 AM alright, odd

Odd 6/26/200 12:08 AM do you know something about mexico?

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:08 AM i know everything about mexico, odd

Odd 6/26/200 12:09 AM like what?

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:09 AM everything
ask me anything

Odd 6/26/200 12:10 AM well, i dont know, tell me the name of some
ancient culture

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:10 AM aztec, odd, aztec
ask me something else


Odd 6/26/200 12:11 AM well... the name of one president

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:11 AM santa anna, odd, santa anna

Odd 6/26/200 12:12 AM why you know about mexico?

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:12 AM odd, i know about everything
ask me anything about anything

Odd 6/26/200 12:13 AM but why you know, you learn in school or what?

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:14 AM no odd, I have a disease where I collect
knowledge while I sleep
I just keep my tv on and I remember everything
while I sleep
it's very rare, only 1:100,000 people have
it...
because of it, i just leave the tv on
educational channels all night

Odd 6/26/200 12:16 AM is it difficult to have that disease?

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:17 AM not at all...because it doesn't change the way
I sleep, it just makes me very smart
honestly, ask me any question, odd

Odd 6/26/200 12:17 AM the capital of mongolia

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:18 AM Ulaanbaatar

Odd 6/26/200 12:20 AM ok, well, what do you want to talk about?,
where didi you learn english?

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:21 AM I learned english by listened to a tape while
I slept
my parents used to play it for me when I was
3, i learned all the english that I know now
in 2 months worth of sleeping...6 hours a
night each night

Odd 6/26/200 12:21 AM do you know spanish?

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:23 AM I'm learning now, actually
I've listened to the "teach yourself spanish"
tape for 3 nights now...
I almost know enough to speak it
normally...not quite though
i could try if you wanted to, but it'd be very
broken

Odd 6/26/200 12:26 AM do u still there?

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:26 AM what?

Odd 6/26/200 12:26 AM well, tell me about your life

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:27 AM I normally just spend my days sitting
around...and my nights sleeping & listening to
tapes and television
I get money by being on the Ethiopian
Question-Answering Team
we're a group of 5 people who travel around
and answer trivia questions against other
national Question-Answering teams
my team is ranked 2nd overall, behind those
damned Russians

Odd 6/26/200 12:28 AM what do you like to do?

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:29 AM I like to bake pies

Odd 6/26/200 12:45 AM tellme about something

a Pirate 6/26/200 12:46 AM Female rattlesnakes have a small "penis" that
grows near their vagina. Right now, the penis
is not functional; however, scientists believe
that it's the product of a slow evolution of
the rattlesnake becoming a
hermaphrodite...and, eventually, being able to
spread itself around the world very easily

At this point in the game, they stopped responding.

[gbc]

That is fucked up.

[Ugly Bastard]

Wow...that was really ingenius. Nice work.

-Ugly Bastard

[Ugly Bastard]

sweetsinfulplesures6902: hhi... anyone there?
sweetsinfulplesures6902: oh your thete [img]smile.gif[/img] hi...
sweetsinfulplesures6902: a/s/l (agesex location)?
sweetsinfulplesures6902: im 27/f/USA. was lookin at your profile. thought yoou might like to chat.
sweetsinfulplesures6902: so what have yyou been up to coryalbertson?
coryalbertson: not much sweetsinfulpleasures6902. what have you been up to?
sweetsinfulplesures6902: cool. i was just hangin out watching tv. i was getting kinda horny [img]smile.gif[/img] (*blushrs)
sweetsinfulplesures6902: feel like a little cyber fun with me ?? please please...
coryalbertson: oh really? you too? 'cause i'm really really horny right now! oh wait! no i'm not! yeah! guess what sweetsinfulpleasures6902, you're a hack, anyone can see that. honestly, who thinks you're a real person? i certainly don't. how about this: if the next message you send to me, doesn't contain the word "Nubblies" i'm going to cut the throats of every horny asshole running this little bot out of some porn-shop basement.
sweetsinfulplesures6902: [img]smile.gif[/img] )
coryalbertson: that's exactly what i thought, scab. my blade will be wet tonight. in the meantime, i wanna see what you'll say before you send me a link to your website, so go ahead and reply with your bullshit.
sweetsinfulplesures6902: cyberfunggirls dot com. look for me on that page
coryalbertson: that was fast.

-Ugly Bastard

[Fruitacious B]

The force is strong in this one.

Ugly, you're good, damn good.

[Fruitacious B]

At last, I have one of my own. Gogo is the victim, I am fixed. Gogo lives in Lebanon. Enjoy.

Gogo:
i am anew friend would you like to chat with me

fixed:
i guess so

fixed:
what's new in egypt?

Gogo:
what mainly?

fixed:
huh?

fixed:
so what do you do for fun?

Gogo:
go out with my friends

fixed:
cool, do you go to bars, or strip clubs, or coffee houses or something like that?

Gogo:
i go to coffee shop and disco sometimes

fixed :
disco, no shit? like saturday night fever?

Gogo:
i cant understand

fixed:
my bad, it's an older movie that's about disco

Gogo:
why

fixed:
because disco was cool back in the day

Gogo:
yes&lt;and you where do you go?

fixed:
well, i go lots of places, coffe shops occasionally, but i usually hang out at the local middle school and look for innocent boys

Gogo:
so how old are you?

fixed:
well, the way that i see it, age is only a number, so i don't find that important

fixed:
i like to maintain a mysterious persona, it makes things a lot more "interesting", as michael jackson would say

Gogo:
i want to know your age coz its imp. for me

fixed:
well, right now i'm 18

fixed:
but, my birth age is a bit older

fixed:
my closest of friends know that im 24

Gogo:
never mind

fixed:
what? nevermind, why?

fixed:
i don't want to scare you away or anything, im just very shy

Gogo:
and i also but really i want to know everything about you

fixed:
okay, just ask me anything, I'm an open book. I'll try not to be very shy, I promise

Gogo:
ok lets begin, whats your nationality

fixed:
american

fixed:
anything else?

Gogo:
do you have a girl friend love her

fixed:
not at the moment, I recently lost my lover. Also, I prefer men and women, I don't want to be close minded

fixed:
that doesn't offend you does it?

fixed:
I don't want you to be uncomfortable

Gogo:
of course not i want to hear you tell me every thing why you are so sad

fixed:
Well, I'm not so sad anymore, I was last week though, I was a wreck, I had a nasty separation from my partner, James, who decided he wanted to go off to the war and leave me alone. That broke my heart so bad. Until recently I met someone new by the name of Vitruvio, he's fantastic, I could have never asked for more.

fixed:
I have a cute nickname for him, it's nubblie, i think he likes it

Gogo:
dont be sad i am sure that james love you, so tell me more about your self

fixed:
Well, I'm pretty sure that Nubblies loves me more, I don't know where'd I'd be without that sexbear in my life. As for myself, I like to work out at my local gym, I'm an aspiring poet, but I work at a clothing store called Express to make ends meet, that's how I met Nubblies.

fixed:
Is that good?

Gogo:
so i am sure that when i see your picture i will love you

fixed:
well, I can only dream. I need to find my most recent one though

Gogo:
ok i want to talk to myself i am very sad coz i love someone so much and i hope to be his wife but i cant coz he didnt love me

fixed:
I'm so sorry to hear that, men are so hard to handle sometimes, trust me, being a raging homosexual like me, i would know

Gogo:
i cant live without him my heart is broken

fixed:
i wish i could tell you how to mend your broken heart. If only there were a special adhesive I could offer you to mend your heart, I'd offer it to you, but I can't. In my case, I found Nubblies and I leaned on that for support. You need to find those close to you for comfort

fixed:
I found my pic, shall I send it to you now?

Gogo:
of course i am wait your picture

fixed:
im sending it, it says you haven't accepted it

Gogo:
why

fixed:
actually it says you haven't responded

Gogo:
i'll open the mail again

fixed:
i clicked on the send file form, im so bad at this stuff, nubblies usually helps me with this kind of stuff, but he's sleeping

fixed:
im trying to send it through icq

Gogo:
send it at my e-mail and i want to know your name at mail

fixed:
okay, what's your email?

Gogo:
******************

fixed:
okay, ill get right on sending it to you, do want to see a picture of Nubblies too?

Gogo:
yes

fixed:
okay, I'll send a photo of him also

Gogo:
i am waiting

fixed:
don't worry, im logging into my email right now

Gogo:
ok

fixed:
I will be right back, I forgot our password, I'm going to go ask nubblies what it is, im so forgetful, im sorry

fixed:
ahh, i got it, im so silly

Gogo:
i want to tell u that you are so beatiful

fixed:
I appreciate that to the very core of myself, for you too are a beautiful person

Gogo:
i want to see your friend picture

fixed:
i'm loading his right now

Gogo:
i am waiting

fixed:
I'm very sorry, I'm new to e-mail, nubblie just taught me how the other day, this is the first real time i've tried using it, I'm truly sorry

Gogo:
i am wait for your picture also

fixed:
okay, it's sending right now

Gogo:
thanks a lot i will open it now

fixed:
not a problem

Gogo:
ok

fixed:
did you get them?

This is "me"


And this is "Nubblies"


Gogo:
i want to say that u are really so beauty and i love your picture so much

fixed:
thank you, i need to work out more, i'm kind of fat, but not for long, I'm on a diet of Manjuice and Horsekock herbs to stop any fat.

Gogo:
i want to explain myself: i am 168 cm, my skin is white and i have brown hair,brown eyes,not very fat and i am from lebanon.

fixed:
You seem like a fantastic person.

fixed:
it is too bad that you live so far away, Nubblies and I would both love to meet you

Gogo:
thanks i want to tell u that really i am very romantic and i love the love and the one thing i need it to love a men love me so much and take care of me,and to be everything in his life because he will be everything in my life but i know well that i will never find him

fixed:
I will keep you in my hopes that you will someday find your man. I'm sure you will find a man like my Nubblies to keep you warm at night and love you for the rest of your days.

Gogo:
i hope that coz i am really want this ,i feel alone without love ,love is the life

fixed:
yes, love is the life, love is the love of my life and i love the life as much as i love my life, I really hope that you will never quit your search for the man of your deepest dreams.

Gogo:
your talk is very exciting

fixed:
thank you, I am a poet. I dictate to Nubblies in the evenings on the beach. He loves it very much. It is all he can do to not make love with me right then, I live a passionate life. I thrive on love, passion, sex, and desire. Nubblies fulfills all of my needs and desires, in and out of the bedroom. You too will someday experience this.

Gogo:
i also love seeing the beach,i talk to the sea and tell everything to the sea

fixed:
the sea bares witness
to me
i talk to it, my darling sea
it watches my love unfold
like a table cloth in the cold
it watches me on bended knee
i would not live if not for the sea
my life is long, as is my shlong
and it is this that is my song

fixed:
that is an older poem of mine that you reminded me of

fixed:
I would like you to know, that I appreciate you. As much as it pains me I must leave now, Nubblies is excited, as am I, passion is overtaking me right now, and I must leave you to go fulfill Nubblies' desires in our bed. I hope that you will someday experience such excitement. I hope that your life improves and I pray that your planes will forever fly straighter. Goodbye, in my most fond of farewells to you.

fixed:
this is what Nubblies means to me.


THE END

Yes that is all, it is lengthy, but i hope you all enjoy. If all goes as expected, there may be more of Gogo in the future.

[Alpha]

I love this thread and think it's about time that i fuck with someone, nice job fruit.

[sim_flex_x]

Ok, this is my first attempt at this, some random guy from "egypt" send me a message so i decided to run with it. by the way, here's his icq info:
i'm a slave looking for a mistress to dominate me,do whatever she desires with me,i will totally submit to her,if you are a sadistic and dominant female message me please i realy need to worship you

i had to cut the conversation short because I was meeting a friend for dinner, but it was fun while it lasted :]

slave: are you tough enough to make me your slave?
rah: i believe i just might be
slave: cool
rah: worship me
slave: yes mistress,what do you want me to do?
rah: i want you to catch a goat
slave: what?
rah: i want you to catch a goat and then have sex with it while i watch
it turns me on
slave: a goat?
rah: yes, a goat
or a pig, but i would prefer the goat
slave: ok,but that is gross
rah: you want to make me happy don't you?
slave: yes mistress
rah: then go get a goat
slave: yes mistress.............i got it
rah: commence
slave: may my mistress allow me to put my dick in it
rah: i command you to
slave: yes mistress.....aaaaah oooooh
rah: inform me when you have finished
slave: oooh mistress,i couldn't imagine it would be that good
rah: are you done?
slave: yes mistress
rah: now kill it
slave: with what?
rah: a plastic fork
rah: did you do it?
slave: yes i did
rah: good, now, i need you to cut it open with this stick, and remove its kidneys
slave: man,i'm begging to be scared
rah: did you remove them?
slave: yes mistress i did
rah: eat them
slave: but ...... mistress.......
rah: did i stutter? eat them!
slave: yes mistress.eating them
rah: good
slave: i think i'm gonna throw up
rah: if you throw up I'm walking away
slave: no no i'll hold it,please mistress don't leave
rah: i want you to drink the juices from its intestines
slave: yes mistress,i am drinking it now
rah: when you finish i want you to dance for me
slave: yes mistress.i'm finished,what kind of dancing?
rah: erotic
slave: yes mistress,i stand up and start taking my shirt off slowly
rah: i saw you without a shirt and i changed my mind. you repulse me, i'm leaving
slave: why mistress,what is wrong?
rah: you disgust me
having intercourse with animals and eating their body parts
good day sir
slave: you asked me to do so
rah: i said i am through with you
slave: please mistress i beg you

like i said, I had to leave to eat, but it was fun. people are dumb :]

[tonguegina]

Hahaha...good work sim. Good work.

[Titan]

Originally posted by sim_flex_x:
like i said, I had to leave to eat, but it was fun. people are dumb :]

A-a-a-a-a-a-and sick.

Like this girl I knew that made a guy fuck a goat, what a freak.

[ September 24, 2003, 09:16 PM: Message edited by: Titan ]