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Unread 12-01-2003, 10:42 PM   #1 (permalink)
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If there is one thing I can't stand, it's people who think that I give two-shits about their "amazing" poker story. I play more poker than probably anyone I know, yet I never tell anyone a damn thing about it, 'cause I know that no one cares as much as I do. Unless it's a highly unusual, freakish hand that I know they won't mind hearing about (ie: the hand I posted in the Most Amazing Poker Hand Thread today), I never mention a damn word about poker to anyone.

There are some people who are relentless in their pursuit to tell me about their poker hand(s) too. It's not even a good story, or one that I'd normally care about. The thing everyone needs to realize, is that poker is very conducive to putting people's emotions in control of their actions. It is a game of luck and odds, such types of games lead people to be either really happy or really frusterated. I realize I'm going to offend some people by making this rant, but I don't give a damn...STOP TELLING ME YOUR FUCKING POKER STORIES...I DON'T GIVE A SHIT.

Right now, as I speak, my Instant Messenger has been bleeping over and over and over again with countless messages coming in from another Nubblite, who is telling me all about his pokering today. I am making this rant as not only a message to him, but everyone else who constantly tells me about their poker stories. I am just letting everyone know that I don't give one flying fuck about your poker playing. You know who you are, and I'm talking to you right now...if you want to tell me what your bankroll is like every couple of days, or share a highly unusual freakish, amazing royal-flushesque story with me...go ahead, just don't bore me with the pages of other shit that you send me...I don't even read your messages anymore.

This is the shit I have to put up with folks, you would think that after countless "that's neat" and "uh-huh" and "oh" and "keep going" that the person would catch on that I honestly don't give a rats' ass:

Nubblite cory I have a story
Nubblite it's a bit long but I need to vent my frustrations with Party Poker at this moment in time
UB: alright nubblite...go ahead.
Nubblite well first of all i couldn't resist the urge to cash-in again, so I succumbed to my emotions and did so
UB: keep going
Nubblite upon cashing in I get second in my first tournament, not a bad way to begin
Nubblite cory I just had another swing just as we were speaking, I will add that in at the end of the story, I plan on making a post about the up and downs of party poker on this very day
Nubblite any who I cashed in and took second in a tournament, so I'm up to 70 or so
Nubblite not to bad
Nubblite I enter another tournament and get third
Nubblite so I'm up to 80...at this point I'm on the happy side I won't deny it
UB: man that sucks.
Nubblite it gets better
Nubblite so I'm up 80 and decide to play a NL 25 table, just for shits in giggles, I play for a half an hour endure some swings and end up winning 10 form that
Nubblite so at this point I'm at 90
Nubblite I take a 25 min. break and then decide to play a tournament and win it, I'm up to 130
UB: well good
Nubblite at this point I feel great, life is good, the world is round, the grass is green, fuck they sky is even still blue
Nubblite I play two more tournament in which I placed 4th and 5th
Nubblite so I'm down to 110 give or take a few bucks
Nubblite I take a 30 min. break and play again, i sit down at another no limit 25 table
Nubblite I get up to 35 feeling good when I call and all-in pre-flop
Nubblite somebody before me goes all in with 8's
Nubblite I see the pocket Kowboys looking at me and call
Nubblite the flop comes 4 8 8
Nubblite I was fucked
UB: ouch
Nubblite and lost my 25 so now I'm down to 85
Nubblite I look at things and still see it as a good day so I eat dinner and quit, I mean fuck any man would be happy making 35 for entertainment
Nubblite but as I'm watching TV with nothing on the "PartyPoker" icon on my desktop looks at me and says "play you fucking pussy".....I hear what it says and instantly click and get into a 25 NL table
Nubblite I have a few swings when I decide to go all in and win, I don't recollect what it was but I was up to 61 on the table, putting me back up to 120
UB: atta boy
Nubblite I'm feeling good talking with Nieter when all of a sudden I get delt some 4's....I bet 3 pre-flop as everyone folded except behind the big blind behind me
Nubblite he calls, so I'm putting him with a high pair
Nubblite or high cards in general
Nubblite the flop comes 4 3 3 and instantly my penis becomes errect
UB: yes...
Nubblite I just flopped a full house.....the high one at that....so I bet 5 and he calls, which was to my pleasure but also to my puzzlement, he had to of been holding K's or A's I told myself....the next card comes a 3
Nubblite so there is 4 3 3 3 on the board and I'm holding 4's
Nubblite at that point I thought well shit that rules the possibility of him holding a 3
Nubblite out
UB: keep going
Nubblite so I bet 10 and the fucker calls, the next card is a 2 and I bet 5 and he re-raises to 10...this sets me back I wait little time though and call to find that what did the son of a bitch do? he called me on a 3 5 offsuit...yes the big blind calls a 3 dollar raise pre-flop with 3 5 offsuit and miraculously hits 4 3's to beat my 4's full over 3's
Nubblite so at this point I just lost a huge fucking pot, somewhere around $50 dollars
Nubblite my bankroll drops 23 or so
Nubblite 4 or 5 hands later I'm delt an A J of diamonds
Nubblite I raise 5 pre-flop to make sure only people with very good hands will stay
UB: yes yes.
Nubblite the same fucker that screwed me with the 3 / 5 offsuit calls me
Nubblite the flop comes 3 A 3 and yet again my penis is hard
Nubblite I bet 5 again and he calls, I'm thinking there's no way in fuck he's holding a 3 again so I put him with an A however he's a dipshit and I highly doubted he would have me outkicked with something higher than a J
Nubblite the turn comes 8
Nubblite I bet 5 and he calls again, the river comes a J so I have two high pair on the board and the 3's do not even matter
Nubblite so I go all in for my 13 or whatever is there and he calls to my astonishment and pleasure as I figured I had him beat without a doubt, it reveals the bitch was holding pocket 8's, despite the raises pre-flop and the betting after 3 A 3 he stayed with 8's making me believe he had to of been with party poker
UB: i'm sorry to hear that Nubblite
Nubblite I'm super pissed, beyond pissed, i take 10 min. to catch my breath
Nubblite: I lost all 60 of it and was back down to $60 because some son of a bitch catches shit on the turn he has no business even being in the hand for
Nubblite: so out of shear frustration I cash another 25 into the table
Nubblite: I'm bound to beat this guy somehand I tell myself
Nubblite: the same hand I cash that 25 I'm delt pocket A's....betting goes around and that same mother fucker goes all in before me
UB: yes
Nubblite: now I have A's there's no way in fuck I can fold my hand....so I call the flop comes K J of diamonds and an A
Nubblite: I just flopped a nut at that point
Nubblite: I think "this piece of shit is dead
UB: qt is the nut
Nubblite: yes your correct...well fuck me I was wrong...anywhoo I felt good the next card is an 8 of diamonds and the river is the 5 of clubs
Nubblite: we reveal our cards and he is holding miraculously the other A as well as the Q of diamonds....
Nubblite: at this point I'm about ready to notify party poker because it was getting ridiculous...no matter what I did this guy fucked me in the ass, if I had A's and he had 2 7 offsuit he would of hit 3 4 5 6 on the flop and turn
Nubblite: I'm down to 35 now, I was in tears nearly, getting ready to break the screen, cussing, kicking shit and I broke a lamp in my room
UB: yes...
Nubblite: I was in a rage but I'm bound to beat this table, that's all I told myself so I cash in 25 more
Nubblite: i play some hands while I'm typing this story to you when I'm delt J 10 suited, somebody raises 5 pre-flop and I'm so pissed to think I call
Nubblite: the flop comes K J 5
UB: yes...
Nubblite: somebody goes all in, and the mother fucker that hosed me everytime calls as well
Nubblite: I call, simply because I'mr eady to just lose all of my money, no amount of words can describe what I was feeling
Nubblite: so a $75 + pot is sitting there
UB: yes...
Nubblite: the next three turn and river come J J I hit 4 jacks
Nubblite: mother fucker
Nubblite: that's while I was just talking to you and said "another swing just happened cory"
Nubblite: the fucker that hosed me all those times ahd K K and the guy that went all in originally had A K
UB: oh yeah?
Nubblite: cory I left the table, up to 115 in my account
Nubblite: up 65 for the day...and so fucking amazed at the swing of things that just happened I can't even see straight
UB: neat
Nubblite: what do you think of that story
Nubblite: I had an amazing hand in poker over and over again
UB: it's quite the story.
Nubblite: like I'm still sitting here in shock
UB: oh me too...me too....

To the Nubblite, I kept you anonymous to prevent any embarrassment. I respect you, so doing such a thing comes naturally. I'm just asking for a little respect in return; I'm not a mannequin, stop treating me as one. And don't get too mad or anything, you are one of many people who tell me their stories, it just so happened that you were telling me a story when I decided to make this rant, so I picked on you...it could've been anyone...this is nothing personal at all.

-Ugly Bastard

Update: Just got this message from the Nubblite about five minutes after posting the rant

Nubblite: like I want to make a nubblies post about it but it's so long it's almost like a rant
UB: i already made the rant for you


[ December 01, 2003, 08:05 PM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]
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Unread 12-01-2003, 11:05 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Wow, I really tried to read all that but I just couldn't... I have a good guess who this nubblite is...
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Unread 12-01-2003, 11:20 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Origianlly sent to me from Nubblite on IM: I just don't really feel like it's necessary to post that story, when it's the only one I've told you
After briefly searching through our AIM Log:

Nubblite: what was it on, yeah last night I got pocket Ace's on pacific poker three hands in a row
Nubblite: and lost all three
Nubblite: I fucking hate that fucking piece of shit
-----
Nubblite: I hate pacific poker
UB:: i'm leaving. goodbye.
-----
Nubblite: corey I wish you could see this tournament I'm playing
Nubblite: the luckiest tournament in the history of tournaments
Nubblite: I was down to 75 chips
Nubblite: am now the chip leader at 2340
UB:: nice work
------
Nubblite: 6th tournament out of 9
Nubblite: i'm down to the final 3
UB:: good work
------
Nubblite: I'm quite excited, this sunday starts the tournament at Noa Noa
Nubblite: with first place possibilities being $500

Nubblite, I told you in the first post of this thread, and I'm going to tell you again, don't make this a personal thing. I've got enough ammo on you, you don't have a leg to stand on. I never said who you were in real life, or on Nubblies, and I plan to keep it that way...so don't make it easy on me to turn this into a personal thing, and tell everyone who you are. I kept it very anonymous. I really fail to see where you are coming from with the bitching.

I get quite a few real-life stories told to me from you too, Orgazmo could probably atest to this. I even get calls on my phone to hear a poker story. I don't mind listening to your really good stories, and I can name off people who are far worse than you are about going on about themself and about their poker stories, so don't get so bent out of shape about this. In fact, as I'm typing this, a Non-Nubblite aquaintence started sending me messages all about this poker tournament he was in. I just used you as an example, you've used me as an example about things in the past before, and I took it, and moved on...doing the same is in your best interest.

-Ugly Bastard

Pliedes-Please do not mention who you think the Nubblite is...thanks

[ December 01, 2003, 08:23 PM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]
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Unread 12-01-2003, 11:26 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ugly Bastard:
Pliedes-Please do not mention who you think the Nubblite is...thanks
Fair enough.
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Unread 12-02-2003, 12:35 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I think that I might be at a loss to who this Nubblite is, but I already hate their habits on AIM. I read around 4 lines of that AIM conversation and bile was flying....that fucker is responsible for cleaning up my dorm room and face.
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Unread 12-02-2003, 01:21 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ugly Bastard:
I've got enough ammo on you, you don't have a leg to stand on.
I apologize for starting conversations with a friend about a subject? I mean shit UB how many times have you IM'd me about skydiving this summer? 50? I could name 10 simply off of the top of my head. I enjoy talking about skydiving though so I entertained the conversation. Much like skydiving, poker is also something we have in common, I mean fuck me for talking about poker to somebody who's a good friend. Yeah maybe my first story was a little long and boring and I realized that but I was so fucking shocked at what happen the keys were flying from my fingers, it was impulse as much as anything. I don't usually talk a million words a minute on AOL but I was telling a story I was fresh off of and excited about, I do talk a lot, that's who I am.

Quote:
Originally posted by Ugly Bastard:
I play more poker than probably anyone I know
I'm sorry Phil Helmuth for bringing something up to the poker God. I mean Jesus Christ don't give me this ammo bullshit, I've had 2 or 3 nubblites come to me and talk to me about how funny it is everytime you lose a hand or get out of a tournament it's never "good hand you outplayed me" it's always "how in the fuck did you go all in with K 8 when I had A Q and you hit a K on the river." We can bring out the infamous line "I have no respect for you as a poker player insert real name." Don't take it personal though UB I'm just using you as an example as we've had other people do that as well myself included. I mean you didn't expect me to take what you said personally so I definitely expect that what I said you won't take personally either. I say that with sarcasm though because I know you'll take that personally I wouldn't expect you not too, and I wouldn't really expect me to not take what you said earlier personally.

I have a lot of respect for you as well UB, but I didn't feel like you should point me out for wanting to start a conversation with a friend about something we had in common, and if I'm wrong then shit everyone else chime in and let me know right away and I'll gladly see the flaw.

I'm just sick of being the brunt of the joke for all this shit, yeah I put my foot in my mouth a lot and yeah I act like an idiot at times but that's because I like making people laugh and smile. It makes me feel good to see people having a good time even if it's a my expense, I just don't want to be the one to be the brunt of this joke when I feel like what I did really wasn't all that bad.

[ December 01, 2003, 10:22 PM: Message edited by: BigDongedHoe ]

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Unread 12-02-2003, 01:28 AM   #7 (permalink)
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seriously...what is all this with poker? damn, shit, fuck.

i guess i just don't get it.
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Unread 12-02-2003, 01:33 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by BigDongedHoe:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ugly Bastard:
I play more poker than probably anyone I know
I'm sorry Phil Helmuth for bringing something up to the poker God. </font>[/quote]You can stop making those comments now BDH. Saying I play more poker than anyone I know does not mean that I think I'm better than anyone. The only person who seems to think I'm the "poker God" is you. I wholeheartedly think that Orgazmo, Trout, and yes...even you are better at poker than I am. Sure, I get mad when someone gets lucky and draws against me...who doesn't? You even just said that you broke a lamp in your room after you got outdrawn. You've been playing this card a lot lately, like I act like I'm better than everyone else. I never say a damn word about how I play poker, but I will now since you opened the can of worms: I have made more than 5x what you, or anyone else in our little group have made while playing poker, but I never tell a damn soul about it. Some of my best friends (Brass, tonguegina, etc) have no clue what I have made. Unlike you, I don't see the need to go around telling everyone how much money I've made playing poker. I told you about it a few weeks ago, but only because you really wanted to know, so I decided to tell you since we enjoy discussing poker together. I then told you not to tell anyone. I don't go around flaunting how much I've made in poker like you do...such as the time you reminded us all 18 times (I counted) that you won a $340 poker tournament the other day. Oh also, thanks for calling my cell phone after that tournament to tell me that you won.

I am nothing but modest when it comes to poker, you are the one who is constantly bragging about themself, take a look in the mirror before you try to open your mouth next time.

Now that we've got all that out of the way, let us both understand that when it comes to poker, there are two things that piss each other off. I get pissed off when you go on and on about your poker playing, and you get pissed off when I cast the aura of being superior to you in poker. I'll make efforts to not act superior, so long as you promise to not drown me in messages and comments about your playing, deal...friend?

-Ugly Bastard

[ December 01, 2003, 10:49 PM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]
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Unread 12-02-2003, 01:50 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ugly Bastard:

I am nothing but modest when it comes to poker, you are the one who is constantly bragging about themself, take a look in the mirror before you try to open your mouth next time, asshole.
Oh really? So lets take a look at these situations and look at the truth:
A) I was excited about winning a rather large poker tournament not so much because of the money but just because of the fact I felt like I had no chance to win it, never in telling you guys did I say "Damn I'm good, I'm awesome, I'm the best poker player alive."

B) I will agree that you are modest when it comes to talking about yourself but it's the constant snide remarks everytime we play. "How could call him on that Boonley?" "Niiiieeettterrr, what were you thinking?" "Wow you just called $2.00 on middle pair after the flop?" Let people make there own fucking choice when they play, we don't always play like you and not all of us are statistical genius's like Gaz'. Not all of us are funny guys at the table like Brass. Not all of us are conservative players like Tongue. Not all of us go off of feel like Amret and I either. We all have different poker personalities and just because you cashed out "5x more" on online poker doesn't mean your any better than the next person. I don't profess to be a great poker player but I don't really believe anyone of us who has played can say they are. Just cut out the snide remarks, sure if someone makes a ludacris call that's one thing but if somebody makes a call you wouldn't that's their choice leave it at that. I have had 2 other nubblites who have mentioned it to me that it not only bothered them but made them feel like you were really belittling them, nobody wants to feel that way UB.

Quote:
Originally posted by Ugly Bastard:
thanks for calling my cell phone the other day to tell me that you won.
Once again I apologize for calling a friend because I was excited, the one other person besides you I called was excited for me and excited to hear about the tournament. If it would of been reverse situations and you would of called my cell phone to tell me you would of won the tournament I would of been extatic for you and happy that you did well. I can honestly say that too. If any of you on here would of entered, had you won I think it would of been awesome and I would of been really happy for you.

I'm not trying to open up some personal floodgate, I'm simply stating how I feel in reply to your first posts.

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Unread 12-02-2003, 02:05 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by BigDongedHoe:
Just because you cashed out "5x more" on online poker doesn't mean your any better than the next person.
Well, luckily for me, I've never professed to be any better than the next person. I have however professed to be worse than people, yourself included.

Now that we've got all that out of the way, let us both understand that when it comes to poker, there are two things that piss each other off. I get pissed off when you go on and on about your poker playing, and you get pissed off when I cast the aura of being superior to you in poker. I'll make efforts to not act superior, so long as you promise to not drown me in messages and comments about your playing, deal...friend?

-Ugly Bastard
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Unread 12-02-2003, 02:08 AM   #11 (permalink)
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So (*looks around) who was the mystery nubblite?
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Unread 12-02-2003, 02:11 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ugly Bastard:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by BigDongedHoe:
Just because you cashed out "5x more" on online poker doesn't mean your any better than the next person.
Well, luckily for me, I've never professed to be any better than the next person. I have however professed to be worse than people, yourself included.
</font>[/quote]I didn't catch you professing that while typing because the edit came after I read the message [img]smile.gif[/img] . However I like I told you earlier I don't feel like any of us are better than others. Somebody on any given night can come out a big winner just as somebody can come out a big loser (I wrote my fair share of checks this summer I'm sure all of you can remember). Poker nights are fun no matter what and we should of never gotten into it but since we did yes I will not drown you with messages about poker anymore, especially a giant rant such as the one earlier. You don't have to work on that aura, it's your personality at the table, just don't put somebody down if they make a bad call that is all. Unless it's one that is so ridiculous all of us chime in about it.

There's life and then there is Cubs baseball, it's a chore to seperate the two.
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Unread 12-02-2003, 02:13 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pliedes:
So (*looks around) who was the mystery nubblite?
Alright, I'll come forward. Sorry UB.
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Unread 12-02-2003, 02:15 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Thank god, I was really wondering.
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Unread 12-02-2003, 02:18 AM   #15 (permalink)
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How about you two settle this like real men instead of bitching at each other through Nubblies for all to see.

Perhaps through a game of poker?

No?

How about A quick roll in craps?

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Unread 12-02-2003, 02:21 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Alpha:
How about A quick roll in craps?
How about not?

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Unread 12-02-2003, 02:25 AM   #17 (permalink)
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How about you ro-sham-bo for the victory? Who goes first?
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Unread 12-02-2003, 02:26 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Let's make our way to the chat room for online ro-sham-bo!
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Unread 12-02-2003, 02:30 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Why that's impossible.
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Unread 12-02-2003, 02:33 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Brass is the funny fuck? is that what you guys think of me? Am I nothing more than some korean that you can laugh at?

...Oh well. I think I'm comfortable with that stigma. It is with great pleasure to throw my 10 dollars away to spend an evening of merryment with you all. hmm...is that why UB bought me a pretzle the other night?? cuz he feels bad about taking hundreds of dollars from me? hmm oh well, cheers guys [img]graemlins/chinaman.gif[/img]

neither here nor there...
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Unread 12-02-2003, 04:12 AM   #21 (permalink)
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DO I FEEL A NUBBLIES BOXING MATCH???? BDH vs. UB......wow....a define skinny lightweight match up.....

Nubblies: If we put up with Felix, we will put up with you too.
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Unread 12-02-2003, 04:28 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Haha...he'd kill me. I'll pass.

-Ugly Bastard
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Unread 12-02-2003, 05:04 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Ug, you've got the reach... I think you could take him.
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Unread 12-02-2003, 04:30 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by StDx:
Ug, you've got the reach... I think you could take him.
I do too....that's why I'll pass

There's life and then there is Cubs baseball, it's a chore to seperate the two.
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Unread 12-02-2003, 08:30 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Well, if you both think you'd lose, then what's to lose? Obviously one of you is wrong.
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