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Old 04-17-2009, 11:19 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Life's Mysteries

As I often do, I was pondering the universe through the rectangular portal of glass located on the side of my house and another of life's mysteries walked through my plane of view. A mail carrier burdened by the bulk of life's recorded frivolity walked carefully along he sidewalk.

I noticed two things that seem to essentially be true of all mail carriers: she was talking on her phone (via blue tooth) and she was also fat. But how can that be? How can someone who spends the entirety of their day walking whilst carrying countless pounds of mail.

I reflected back on the entirety of my life and realized I have never seen a female postal worker in decent shape. What do they feed them? How must they feel at the end of the day when they realize no amount of walking will appease their body's inner seething fatness? Do they hail from a long line of postal carrying descendants cursed with perpetual fatness and a genetic subconscious urge to carry things? How do these genetic inequities translate into a career carrying mail? What happens when they stop walking? If they are fat now, how big will they get when they stop walking ten miles a day? And who is going to go out to the mailbox to get their mail?

Sometimes life's little mysteries are just too much for me to comprehend.

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You often seem to think that the lowest-hanging-fruit makes you some sort of comedy genius. You're just not a good person. You're spiteful, constantly negative, and bring others down to make yourself feel better. I just don't have room for that.
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Old 04-17-2009, 11:46 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Here's one for you: I have not seen a postal worker in Houston who isn't black since I moved here.
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Old 04-17-2009, 12:50 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Indiana is fat. Lots of people are overweight regardless of their occupation.





fattest states in 2008 - CalorieLab

Last edited by Pliedes; 04-17-2009 at 12:51 PM.
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Old 04-17-2009, 01:48 PM   #4 (permalink)
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that link is full of fail.
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Old 04-17-2009, 02:54 PM   #5 (permalink)
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27.5%? Better than I would have thought. I guess the meth addicts are bringing the number down a bit.
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Old 04-17-2009, 03:25 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Will I lose weight if I move to Massachusetts?

#YOLO
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Old 04-18-2009, 01:17 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by THEINCREDIBLEdork View Post
Will I lose weight if I move to Massachusetts?
I think your kind would find more happiness in Vermont.

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You often seem to think that the lowest-hanging-fruit makes you some sort of comedy genius. You're just not a good person. You're spiteful, constantly negative, and bring others down to make yourself feel better. I just don't have room for that.
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Old 04-18-2009, 09:55 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I call bullshit on that map.

There is no state fatter than Texas.
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Old 04-18-2009, 10:11 AM   #9 (permalink)
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