Life's Mysteries

[DDTempest]

As I often do, I was pondering the universe through the rectangular portal of glass located on the side of my house and another of life's mysteries walked through my plane of view. A mail carrier burdened by the bulk of life's recorded frivolity walked carefully along he sidewalk.

I noticed two things that seem to essentially be true of all mail carriers: she was talking on her phone (via blue tooth) and she was also fat. But how can that be? How can someone who spends the entirety of their day walking whilst carrying countless pounds of mail.

I reflected back on the entirety of my life and realized I have never seen a female postal worker in decent shape. What do they feed them? How must they feel at the end of the day when they realize no amount of walking will appease their body's inner seething fatness? Do they hail from a long line of postal carrying descendants cursed with perpetual fatness and a genetic subconscious urge to carry things? How do these genetic inequities translate into a career carrying mail? What happens when they stop walking? If they are fat now, how big will they get when they stop walking ten miles a day? And who is going to go out to the mailbox to get their mail?

Sometimes life's little mysteries are just too much for me to comprehend.