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Unread 09-24-2003, 11:45 PM   #51 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by sim_flex_x:
slave: may my mistress allow me to put my dick in it
That was hilarious.

[ September 24, 2003, 09:45 PM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]
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Unread 01-14-2004, 04:30 AM   #52 (permalink)
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So this girl popped onto my MSN contact list out of nowhere one day, neither of us knew who the other was or how we got on each other's lists (this happens to me from time to time). We talked for a bit and soon I realized she was annoying as hell and really fucking stupid and probably 12. Needless to say I stopped talking to her. I've been ignoring her for like a month, haven't said a god-damned thing to her at all, she's not even on my list and yet every few days she'll pop up and say hi. I won't respond, yet she'll somehow continue the conversation. I've complained to Pliedes about this, and finally he helped me remedy the situation. Let it be noted that on MSN her name is "°Ë«·...‹ .·. ...•P o l k a d o t p ® i n c e s s• .·. › ... <RyAn 's ThE TeLeTuBBiE'S!> FiRe = dEaTh! ... .·. › ...·»°Ë" and you can reach her at "da_da_debbie@hotmail.com"

Her:
***hi

Me:
***fuck you bitch

Her:
***wats ur problem fuckface??

Me:
***I like to lick balls

Me:
***hairy hairy hairy hairy Harry

Me:
***I am the lord of the dance

Her:
***then go

Her:
***yep

Her:
***thats great

Me:
***nutshells and hayweed and elephant drug

Me:
***ask for my dick you can give it a tug

Her:
***sorri i don't give hand too freaks

Me:
***little cats please us

Me:
***I'm going to smoke jesus

Her:
***rite

Me:
***mice have sex in a group

Me:
***sometimes I like to eat poop.

Her:
***lol ok then have a nice life doin that

Me:
***tickle tickle cunts for lunh

Me:
***fair to the left, gay on the right, sit on a dick and you'll get in a fight

Me:
***cock horse cock horse, aren't they cool

Me:
***little bitches like you will get raped at school

Her:
***rite.......

Me:
***i fucked a goat, don't touch my spam, taka taka taka

Me:
***lindleford, speely dan, cocks for breakfast, narkendoofer flan

Me:

***fabblty knockkapoo, drakinenis the penis, lunch fuck

Me:
wazzle poo

Her:
***RITE!!

Me:
***did you hear me!!!!

Me:
***I SAID WAZZLEPOO YOU BITCH!!!!

Me:
***I'M GONNA FUCK YOUR GRANDMOTHER IN THE BELLY BUTTON!!!!

Her:
***DON'T CALL ME BITCH U FUCKNUT!1

Me:
***LAALALLALALLA

Me:
***COCKLEFORD BITCH!!! COCKLE-FUCKING-FORD!!!!

Her:
***is this a guy or a chick?

Me:
***DID YOU HEAR ME GODDAMMIT!!!! COCK-MOTHERGODDAMNFUCKINGASSBITCH-FORD!

Me:
***So, I met a frog today, he said his name was Sam.

Her:
***ur a fucktard

Me:
***I fucked Sam until he was dead!

Her:
***soo go kill urself

Her:
***ur a fucker

Me:
***are you dead?

Me:
***ur a fucker

Me:
***ur a fucker

Me:
***ur a fucker

Me:
***ur a fucker

Me:
***ur a fuckerfucktard

Me:
***fucktard

Her:
***wat have u been smokin tardface

Me:
***wat have u been smokin tardface

Her:
***^o)

Her:
***Rite!

Me:
***^o)

Me:
***Rite!

Her:
***GO FUCK UR SELF U FUCKER AND DIE ALREADY NO ONE WANTS U HERE ALRITE UR A FUCKUP PLZ DO THE WORLD A FAVOUR AND JUST KILL URSELF WE DON'T NEED NO LORD OF DANCE BULLSHIT SOO JUST DIE ALREADY FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me:
***(hint: stop talking to me)

Her:
***UR A RETARD

Her:
***KILL URSELF

Her:
***(HINT KILL URSELF ALREADY0

Me:
***One would have thought you'd have gotten the hint by now

And then she left. But lo and behold, while I was typing this post, her friend popped onto my list.

Her name is ">º°‘¨[®¢ å T h Ï ñ G z Ù ®¢ ø]¨‘°º<" you can reach her at
"filo_chink_girl19@hotmail.com"

Me:
***hello?

Friend:
***hey

Friend:
***huz dis

Me:
***let me guess, neither of us know how we got on each other's lists

Friend:
***nah ma friend told me 2 add u and ask hu u were

Me:
***right, because I won't tell her, but I'll obviously tell you

Me:
***I would tell you anything, I love you so much

Friend:
***lol alrighty then

Friend:
***well it waz nice talkin 2 u...i'll juz leave u alone now

Me:
***K [img]smile.gif[/img]

Me:
***tell your friend to go to nubblies.net

Her:
***shez not online rite now

Me:
***then just give her the message when you see her next

Me:
***o ok..

Me:
***thanks, you're a doll

Her:
***lol..uh itz alrite..uh thanx...

Her:
***hey r u a guy or a gurl?

Me:
***yes

Her:
***which 1?..

Me:
***I'm a golfball, penis-breath

Her:
***ohhh kool..thanx

Must have been looking to hook-up with me. The End.

[ January 14, 2004, 01:36 AM: Message edited by: Titan ]

I do what the fuck I want.
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Unread 01-14-2004, 01:28 PM   #53 (permalink)
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God that was hilarious. I don't know how you can come up with that Jibberish rhyme shit on the fly so well. Touche.

-Ugly Bastard
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Unread 01-14-2004, 02:24 PM   #54 (permalink)
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Yeah, I liked it a lot. I really like what you did with cockleford. It was quite impressive.
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Unread 01-14-2004, 04:14 PM   #55 (permalink)
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Yeah, it was even funnier that all of this happened in a span of about 3 minutes. I just spat out retarded shit while Titan typed, and at one point fell out of his chair laughing... Fun times, I think we'll do this more often.
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Unread 01-14-2004, 06:47 PM   #56 (permalink)
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It sure as hell made me laugh! I was reading it with a non member, and I think that convinced her to join! Good work guys!

the killer in me is the killer in you.
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Unread 06-28-2005, 03:18 AM   #57 (permalink)
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Here's a conversation I had with a young man I was asked to fuck with.

StbMasterArson: Have you ever thought about entering the new era of messageboard technology?
baselukeball: no
StbMasterArson: Nubblies.net has everything you've been looking for.
baselukeball: cool
baselukeball: who are u?
StbMasterArson: At Nubblies.net various groups chat about common interests in a frank manner.
StbMasterArson: Nubblies.net refuses to pull punches for anyone.
baselukeball: great
StbMasterArson: We at Nubblies.net invite you to join us in or mission to cleanse the world of jews.
baselukeball: awesome
StbMasterArson: Join us mighty white soldiers... NUBBLIES.NET.
baselukeball: ye
baselukeball: s
baselukeball: why tho?
baselukeball: ???
baselukeball: who are u?
StbMasterArson: Have you ever thought about entering the new era of messageboard technology?
StbMasterArson: Nubblies.net has everything you've been looking for.
baselukeball: nope
baselukeball: u suck ass bitch
baselukeball: dont u?
StbMasterArson: Nubblies.net refuses to pull punches for anyone.
baselukeball: good for u cock
StbMasterArson: We at Nubblies.net invite you to join us in or mission to cleanse the world of the white man.
baselukeball: im white bitch so i dont want to do fucker
baselukeball: bitch
StbMasterArson: Join us strong black soldiers... NUBBLIES.NET.
baselukeball: fuck u
StbMasterArson: Have you 3v3r thought about entering the new era of messageboard technology?
baselukeball: fuck u
StbMasterArson: And you kiss your mother with that mouth?
baselukeball: yes
baselukeball: bitch
StbMasterArson: Nubblies.net approves of shit-talking in all forms.
StbMasterArson: Come to Nubblies.net
StbMasterArson: Join Nubblies.net
StbMasterArson: Fellate Nubblies.net
baselukeball: im at ur site it looks like a bunch of fags who buttfuck eachother?
StbMasterArson: You will no longer be needed. A simple visit to our humble site is all that we need from you. Thank you for helping us drive our Benz's whilst you continue to cruise your Ford.
baselukeball: ur welcome fuck nut and i didnt visit ur site ass hahaha
StbMasterArson: You, my friend, are lying.
baselukeball: no my friend im not
StbMasterArson: Your IP address has been logged through BetaTraxxer on here and matched to the last IP address who last visited Nubblies.net. Expect further contact from us.
baselukeball: nope srry
baselukeball: what did the ip address say?
StbMasterArson: One Moment
baselukeball: while im young
baselukeball: ?
baselukeball: w/e
StbMasterArson: You would be amazed at what you information you can get from a simple IP address.
StbMasterArson: For instance, did you know that this quickly I could get your physical address?
StbMasterArson: Mr. Harness of
464 West Hill St
Wabash, IN 46992
baselukeball: yea
baselukeball: whats my address
StbMasterArson: Mr. Harness, let's be reasonable here.
baselukeball: ?
StbMasterArson: Did you know that three unique debit/credit cards have been used on your cpu within the last 3 months?
baselukeball signed off at 12:45:08 AM.
baselukeball signed on at 12:45:15 AM.
baselukeball: ?
baselukeball: hello?
StbMasterArson: Did you know that three unique debit/credit cards have been used on your cpu within the last 3 months?
baselukeball: whats my address
StbMasterArson: Did you not see where I posted above?
StbMasterArson: 464 West Hill St
Wabash, IN 46992
baselukeball: awesome
baselukeball: where u from?
StbMasterArson: Mr. Harness, I don't think it would be in our best interest for you to have that information
baselukeball: whats my first name?
StbMasterArson: Well let's see, you're are definitely showing female tendencies, so I would be inclined to guess that you are either Dawn, Lacy, or Lindsey
baselukeball: guess again
StbMasterArson: Oddly enough I have a credit card issued to Dawn and a Debit card issued to Lacy.
baselukeball: whats MY name
StbMasterArson: Ahhh... so you're just effeminate, you're either Rick or Lucas.
StbMasterArson: Nice to meet you, sir.
baselukeball: u got all this info jus by me visiting ur website?
StbMasterArson: Rick, I have a card issued to you as well... unfortunately, Luke is a little young to be fleeced by us.
baselukeball: well this is luke
StbMasterArson: Rick, Luke?
What should I call you?
StbMasterArson: ah, thank you luke
StbMasterArson: now we need to talk a price.
baselukeball: im luke the one who is to young for ur website
StbMasterArson: what is it worth to you to keep this quaint?
baselukeball: quaint?
StbMasterArson: for a small donation, we at Nubblies.net will simply lose all information requested.
baselukeball: do u know the numbers on our credit cards
StbMasterArson: Quaint: (n)
Humble
Old Fashioned
Simple
StbMasterArson: Luke, you are the only one that is safe out of your whole family.
StbMasterArson: Everything you have is at risk.
baselukeball: safe from what?
StbMasterArson: You have until 1am to decide if you want to strike a deal with us or if you want to risk everything you have.
baselukeball: what kind of a deal?
StbMasterArson: Can you put a price on piece of mind, Luke?
baselukeball: what kind of price?
StbMasterArson: what would one charge for keeping the ones you love financially stable?
baselukeball: i dont know im not rich
StbMasterArson: One could easily charge up thousands of dollars in minutes.
baselukeball: i dont have that kind of money
StbMasterArson: Well, I know that you don't have that money, Luke, but we show your father working for a large insurance company.
StbMasterArson: Oh, and it looks like someone recently purchased a 2002 Mustang.
baselukeball: what color?
StbMasterArson: According your your insurance records, it's a convertible.
StbMasterArson: One moment, I'm not sure if I can find color.
StbMasterArson: hang on, trying to get into BMV records...
StbMasterArson: Candy Apple?
StbMasterArson: I'm guessing it's red.
baselukeball: u want a thousand dollars and u wont do all this stuff
StbMasterArson: No Luke, I'm not threatening you in any manner. I'm not saying that anything will or won't be done with the information we have stumbled across.
baselukeball: what did i do to u to make u do all this?
StbMasterArson: And we don't want one thousand dollars, we want many thousands of dollars.
baselukeball: what did i do to u to make u do all of this?
StbMasterArson: Luke, I heard you were asking for my name earlier.
baselukeball: yea
StbMasterArson: I'm just messing with you.
StbMasterArson: how was arizona?
baselukeball: fuck u
baselukeball: holy shit
StbMasterArson: and she said that you were gonna fuck with me???

StbMasterArson: hahahahaha
baselukeball: omg that was scary
StbMasterArson: I do what I can... glad I can add a little excitement.
baselukeball: i thought i was gonna get raped or sumthin
StbMasterArson: you can read the full transcript of our conversation on Nubblies.net
baselukeball: where at?
StbMasterArson: I'll be posting it under General Chat later.
baselukeball: ok

and just like that, we have a potential new member.

LEGALIZE CRIME!
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Unread 06-28-2005, 12:20 PM   #58 (permalink)
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Not bad not bad.

Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.
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Unread 06-28-2005, 01:49 PM   #59 (permalink)
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Quote:
StbMasterArson: And we don't want one thousand dollars, we want many thousands of dollars.
Thats where I lost it. It didn't help that I was reading this in class either.

What was going on here? Friend of a girl you know who fed you info about Luke in advance? Do tell.

-Ugly Bastard

[ June 28, 2005, 11:50 AM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]
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Unread 06-28-2005, 02:19 PM   #60 (permalink)
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He's a younger brother of someone I'm seeing.
She was texting me throughout the conversation.

[ June 28, 2005, 12:23 PM: Message edited by: StabMaster Arson ]

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Unread 06-28-2005, 06:36 PM   #61 (permalink)
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Oh I like that a lot.
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Unread 07-30-2005, 05:30 AM   #62 (permalink)
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this rules

#YOLO
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Unread 05-02-2009, 11:50 AM   #63 (permalink)
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Mr. Blonde: who's the english teacher here?
Mr. Blonde: and who's unemployed
ariel: i'm not really unemplolyed
ariel: to be unemployed
ariel: you technically have to be looking for work
Mr. Blonde: no
ariel: yes
ariel: that is the definitiion
Mr. Blonde: actually
Mr. Blonde: you have to be not employed
ariel: no
ariel: look it up
Mr. Blonde: lol maybe for welfare?
ariel: english teacher
Mr. Blonde: unemployed definition | Dictionary.com
Mr. Blonde: i win
Mr. Blonde: jesus
Mr. Blonde: stop, please
ariel: look up unemployment
ariel: fuck
Mr. Blonde: thats not the word
Mr. Blonde: douche
ariel: i mean to be on unemployment
ariel: god damnit
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Unread 05-02-2009, 12:00 PM   #64 (permalink)
I make bad decisions.
 
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hahahha, awesome.
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Unread 05-02-2009, 12:57 PM   #65 (permalink)
*Dislikes ham
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Fucking women.

Putting the sensual in non-consensual.
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Unread 07-30-2009, 11:15 AM   #66 (permalink)
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I'm broadening this thread to include email and status message fuckery. Message from my Head Instructor (kind of my boss, but more like a team leader. I don't think he could fire me.)





the link goes here, fyi: Flying Spaghetti Monster - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Unread 07-30-2009, 02:03 PM   #67 (permalink)
I make bad decisions.
 
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thats awesome.

Any response?
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Unread 07-30-2009, 09:07 PM   #68 (permalink)
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Mr. Blonde has a reputation beyond repute Mr. Blonde has a reputation beyond repute Mr. Blonde has a reputation beyond repute Mr. Blonde has a reputation beyond repute Mr. Blonde has a reputation beyond repute Mr. Blonde has a reputation beyond repute Mr. Blonde has a reputation beyond repute Mr. Blonde has a reputation beyond repute Mr. Blonde has a reputation beyond repute Mr. Blonde has a reputation beyond repute Mr. Blonde has a reputation beyond repute
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