Secret Santa 2k10 - Page 11 - Nubblies.net Forums

f3lix · 12-28-2010, 04:05 PM

What’s this? A package for me?!?! It’s from Santa at Christmas Lane, North Pole. The postage was even paid by reindeer! It says “4 F3lix <3 Secret Santa." On the side, it says, “Hail the Sexbear!”

Lots of packaging paper. Maybe the contents are fragile.

Even some bubble wrap! I’m starting to see some gifts on the right side of the box.

Well look at this group of hodgepodge gifts! Let’s take a closer look.

I don’t know what this is, but I like it. You hold it by a string and it moves around, providing a dazzling array of colors and mind-bending imagery.

Yes! A disguise. If only it wasn’t broken, I could have pulled off a few heists over the next month. I’ll just have to grow out my own thick stache.

A single York Peppermint patty. I hope it tastes good!

An Urban Myth quiz book! It’s a book of games for Team A (alphas) and Team B (bitches). It’s as if Shaw and I are already on different teams. I hope Repug doesn’t want to play, or I’ll be outnumbered. There are twenty different games to be played. A few examples are the need to identify whether or not Bluebeard was a real pirate and During the Vietnam War, more Americans were killed by guns in America than were killed overseas in combat. Below is an attempted photo of a page.

Next up…

Red Hook is a 2009 Horror film. Perhaps I’ll watch this while trying to swing some poon in Indy.

A Man’s place is behind the bar. It’s by Tucker Shaw, who is clearly the bastard child of Tucker Max and Shaw. The book is very colorful, as seen below…

Great photographs and explainations of different bar necessities including definitions, measurements converters, and is inside a smooth cover which is just slightly less enjoyable to touch than a fine male shaft.

…Twice Shy is a 1989 album by Great White. Interesting CD cover, with the two babes wearing red on a red tarp, with a shark fin nearby. The band plays a brand of rock in that confused late 80s rock genre.

A deck of “magic cards” which are just a deck of cards with a jutting edge that allows for a card to be found easily when it is returned to the deck, turned the opposite direction. I’ll use this on some innocent little children.

From 1975, we have a cassette tape of Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy. I need to find a cassette deck to give this one a listen. Itunes would justify ignoring a physical gift.

100 poker chips for taking kids money. This is better for me to use in stricter environments, where a normal chip set would be easily exploited.

My shih-tzu has enjoyed her new toy. It’s pretty cute in the small mouth of my doggy.

All together, a pretty impressive variety of gifts! Thanks Santa!

Ugly Bastard · 12-28-2010, 04:38 PM

[ ] well worth the wait

angry pancake · 12-28-2010, 04:54 PM

Ho to the muthafuckin ho ho. Steve has sent me a text stating that my gift has arrived. I will open and post pictures on January 5, 2011, assuming the package can still be located at that time. I am so relieved that my secret santer is not the insignificant failed puke ball that I had feared.

THEINCREDIBLEdork · 12-28-2010, 08:25 PM

Hopefully the pictures you post will be larger than f3lix's thumbnails.

Mr. Blonde · 12-28-2010, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Mistoffelees

Hopefully the pictures you post will be larger than f3lix's thumbnails.

Yeah how did this happen? And why aren't they uploaded to Nubblies, it goes to a facebook URL.

Admins?

Saint DH · 12-28-2010, 09:59 PM

You guys have some fucked up shit going on. The pictures are small, but they aren't thumbnails nor are they links to a facebook album...

f3lix · 12-29-2010, 01:49 AM

I had the worst time trying to get those pics off my phone and in to this page. I couldn't find the nubblies uploader (I now see it sitting right below this box I'm typing in) and hate uploading pictures. I just suck at it.

THEINCREDIBLEdork · 12-29-2010, 01:54 AM

^ typical Apple user ^

Orgazmo · 12-29-2010, 02:43 AM

Remember the time f3lix couldn't figure out how to resize a picture to be an avatar on his mac?

The guy is a true enigma. He has the mind of a very old man trapped in the body of a 40 year old.

DDTempest · 12-29-2010, 09:26 AM

I was to understand that Apple computers were easier to use and had superior performance in photo/video/music editing applications. Is this not true?

angry pancake · 12-29-2010, 10:08 AM

They are. Converted to Mac a couple years back and they just kick ass. That said, it does work differently and sometimes I find myself opening an instructional book on simple shit.

f3lix · 12-29-2010, 12:53 PM

I've never been good at pics to nubblies, especially with uploading from any device to any computer.

Secret Fucking Santa · 12-29-2010, 02:38 PM

HO HO HO! ORGAZMO, YOUR SECRET SANTA HAS SUCCESSFULLY SENT ALL PARTS OF YOUR GIFT AS OF YESTERDAY, DESPITE BEING BUTTFUCKED BY UPS & USPS!

Orgazmo · 12-29-2010, 02:47 PM

Oh sweet! It should get here just in time to be late!

Unless the gift arrives in the next 33.25 hours, you've failed me and everyone else that participated in this glorious event. I hope you're proud.

Ugly Bastard · 12-29-2010, 02:48 PM

I got home last night. This afternoon, my roommate informed me there were a couple of packages in the garage with my name on them. That's right, "a couple". My SS sent me two packages, not just one. My SS rules. He's different. He's not like the peasant SS's that you guys have.

Pics forthcoming.

BigDongedHoe · 12-29-2010, 03:06 PM

I converted to a Mac 3 months ago and hate it. I'm trying to sell this POS as soon as possible to go back to a PC.

Don't buy into the marketing, Mac's blow.

Ugly Bastard · 12-29-2010, 04:17 PM

Oh boy! Two presents from Santa!

Let's start with the thing that feels like a picture frame first.

Gift wrapped, nice! The back of it reads "Do not throw away. This painting is cursed."

Hmm... I wonder what's on the front of it? Let's build some suspense and set it to the side for later.

Now onto the box. I wonder what's inside?

Oh boy! Gift wrapped presents and lots of them! This is very exciting!

There are nine presents and they are numbered.

I think Santa wants me to open them in order. Let's start with number one.

Batteries. Hmm... I wonder what these could be for?

Onto number two...

Oh my! A wind-up toy cock that hops! It's almost an exact-scale model of my own!

Let's try number three. It feels like a flask. I've never owned a flask before. Please be a flask!

It is! It is a flask! Thanks Santa!

Number four...

Oh wow! This just keeps getting better and better! A homemade pepper blend with a warning that it is very, very spicy. Santa must know that I love spicy foods. I will try it soon, but only a little at first, of course.

Let's see what package #5 has to offer...

Ramen! The best Ramen ever, apparently. What a perfect thing to try my newfound spices with!

Six feels like a can of some type of liquid. Perhaps alcoholic liquid? Surely Santa does not love me that much...

Oh but wait he does!!! A can of Four Loko! Sweet day!! I have been wanting to try this stuff for a while now! I will save it for a special occasion. New Years Eve sounds fitting for now.

Christmas could stop now and have been a wonderful success, but since my Santa rules so fucking hard, I still have three more gifts to open plus a painting to flip over.

#7...

Oh my!! Cherry flavored blowjob lubricant!! How did Santa know my girlfriend loves cherry flavored things? Hmm... seriously, how did he know that? Santa wouldn't... no. Impossible. A mere coincidence is all. Thanks Santa!!

#8...

BBs! But is what's advertised on the outside actually what's on the inside?

Indeed it is! 2,500 BBs all for me. That's 2500 days I can ruin at my choosing. I'll be sure to pick up a gun in the near future. Thanks Santa!!

And now for the final package. #9...

HOLY FUCKING BALLSACK. SANTA GOT ME A BB GUN.

MY VERY OWN BB GUN.

WITH A FUCKING SCOPE!!! A MOTHERFUCKING SCOPE!!!

YEE-HAW!!!! WEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HAVE THE BEST SANTA EVER!!!!

KEER-POW, KEER-POW!!!!

HEY GUYS, GUESS WHAT?

MY SANTA BOUGHT ME A MOTHERFUCKING GUN!!!!

A GUN!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT?

MY SANTA BOUGHT ME A MOTHERFUCKING WEAPON!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my this day will never be topped.

Never.

Let's flip that painting over...

Clowns! Good god, clowns!! Hahahaha... oh fuck me I hate clowns. But alas, I cannot throw this painting away because Santa has informed me it is cursed. Indeed, will carry this with me and hide it in closets and garages for the remainder of my life. I must. I have no choice. I want not to be cursed.

The total haul:

THANKS SANTA!!!!
THANKS FOR BEING THE BEST SANTA EVER!!!

*My best guess is that my Santa is pliedes. The Bloomington zip code on the return address plus the ultra-awesomeness of the gift has me ~85% certain of this, but I'm happy to hear any theories to the contrary. If my theory is indeed correct, I will shower pliedes with posrep every chance I remember until the end of time for this. I won the Santa lottery!!!

thekremlin · 12-29-2010, 04:30 PM

ninjaface · 12-29-2010, 05:02 PM

So it seems like guns, knives, and booze is the way to go.

Ironic Mustache · 12-29-2010, 05:26 PM

I thought AP had this in the bag for sure, but whoever UB's SS is, well, he's just tits.

Edit: It's not me.

angry pancake · 12-29-2010, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninjaface

So it seems like guns, knives, and booze is the way to go.

It's really hard to disappoint with those gifts. Secret Santa 2k11, AP is sending all of the above along with some seedless tomatoes.

Orgazmo · 12-29-2010, 07:10 PM

Wooooow. That gift is out of this world.

I have a feeling 2k11 is going to be something special after these shining performances. Really looking forward to it.

Oh, and looking forward to getting a gift this year. Then again, it's looking like my gift isn't going to arrive until next year.

It's probably not a motherfucking gun, either.

DDTempest · 12-29-2010, 07:29 PM

Looks like Secret Santa has escalated into a full blown arms race ... so much for the $25ish dollar target.

Repugnant Abomination · 12-29-2010, 08:41 PM

I agree. This whole spending limit thing is creating an obvious problem.

Saint DH · 12-29-2010, 08:51 PM

If I'm not mistaken, the $25 limit is a price floor not a ceiling, meaning the santa could go much further beyond $25.

12-28-2010, 08:25 PM	#254 (permalink)
THEINCREDIBLEdork Emperor Meow Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 9,348 Internets: 290966	Hopefully the pictures you post will be larger than f3lix's thumbnails.
	#YOLO

12-29-2010, 01:54 AM	#258 (permalink)
THEINCREDIBLEdork Emperor Meow Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 9,348 Internets: 290966	^ typical Apple user ^
	#YOLO

12-29-2010, 02:38 PM	#263 (permalink)
Secret Fucking Santa Ho Ho Ho, Hoes Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: North Pole Posts: 62 Internets: 3709	HO HO HO! ORGAZMO, YOUR SECRET SANTA HAS SUCCESSFULLY SENT ALL PARTS OF YOUR GIFT AS OF YESTERDAY, DESPITE BEING BUTTFUCKED BY UPS & USPS!
	Ho, Ho, Ho motherfuckers.

12-29-2010, 03:06 PM	#266 (permalink)
BigDongedHoe Sex Kitten Milf fuuucck Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 3,704 Internets: 55974	I converted to a Mac 3 months ago and hate it. I'm trying to sell this POS as soon as possible to go back to a PC. Don't buy into the marketing, Mac's blow.
	There's life and then there is Cubs baseball, it's a chore to seperate the two.

12-29-2010, 04:30 PM	#268 (permalink)
thekremlin Don't call me Shirley Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: London Posts: 3,271 Internets: 220249	Wow

12-28-2010, 04:05 PM	#251 (permalink)
f3lix Gangnam Style Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: DH's Massage Parlor Posts: 6,383 Internets: 213510	What’s this? A package for me?!?! It’s from Santa at Christmas Lane, North Pole. The postage was even paid by reindeer! It says “4 F3lix <3 Secret Santa." On the side, it says, “Hail the Sexbear!” Lots of packaging paper. Maybe the contents are fragile. Even some bubble wrap! I’m starting to see some gifts on the right side of the box. Well look at this group of hodgepodge gifts! Let’s take a closer look. I don’t know what this is, but I like it. You hold it by a string and it moves around, providing a dazzling array of colors and mind-bending imagery. Yes! A disguise. If only it wasn’t broken, I could have pulled off a few heists over the next month. I’ll just have to grow out my own thick stache. A single York Peppermint patty. I hope it tastes good! An Urban Myth quiz book! It’s a book of games for Team A (alphas) and Team B (bitches). It’s as if Shaw and I are already on different teams. I hope Repug doesn’t want to play, or I’ll be outnumbered. There are twenty different games to be played. A few examples are the need to identify whether or not Bluebeard was a real pirate and During the Vietnam War, more Americans were killed by guns in America than were killed overseas in combat. Below is an attempted photo of a page. Next up… Red Hook is a 2009 Horror film. Perhaps I’ll watch this while trying to swing some poon in Indy. A Man’s place is behind the bar. It’s by Tucker Shaw, who is clearly the bastard child of Tucker Max and Shaw. The book is very colorful, as seen below… Great photographs and explainations of different bar necessities including definitions, measurements converters, and is inside a smooth cover which is just slightly less enjoyable to touch than a fine male shaft. …Twice Shy is a 1989 album by Great White. Interesting CD cover, with the two babes wearing red on a red tarp, with a shark fin nearby. The band plays a brand of rock in that confused late 80s rock genre. A deck of “magic cards” which are just a deck of cards with a jutting edge that allows for a card to be found easily when it is returned to the deck, turned the opposite direction. I’ll use this on some innocent little children. From 1975, we have a cassette tape of Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy. I need to find a cassette deck to give this one a listen. Itunes would justify ignoring a physical gift. 100 poker chips for taking kids money. This is better for me to use in stricter environments, where a normal chip set would be easily exploited. My shih-tzu has enjoyed her new toy. It’s pretty cute in the small mouth of my doggy. All together, a pretty impressive variety of gifts! Thanks Santa!

12-28-2010, 04:38 PM	#252 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	[ ] well worth the wait

12-28-2010, 09:59 PM	#256 (permalink)
Saint DH Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 6,146 Internets: 284753	You guys have some fucked up shit going on. The pictures are small, but they aren't thumbnails nor are they links to a facebook album...

12-29-2010, 01:49 AM	#257 (permalink)
f3lix Gangnam Style Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: DH's Massage Parlor Posts: 6,383 Internets: 213510	I had the worst time trying to get those pics off my phone and in to this page. I couldn't find the nubblies uploader (I now see it sitting right below this box I'm typing in) and hate uploading pictures. I just suck at it.

12-29-2010, 02:43 AM	#259 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,723 Internets: 311447	Remember the time f3lix couldn't figure out how to resize a picture to be an avatar on his mac? The guy is a true enigma. He has the mind of a very old man trapped in the body of a 40 year old.

12-29-2010, 12:53 PM	#262 (permalink)
f3lix Gangnam Style Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: DH's Massage Parlor Posts: 6,383 Internets: 213510	I've never been good at pics to nubblies, especially with uploading from any device to any computer.

12-29-2010, 02:47 PM	#264 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,723 Internets: 311447	Oh sweet! It should get here just in time to be late! Unless the gift arrives in the next 33.25 hours, you've failed me and everyone else that participated in this glorious event. I hope you're proud.

12-29-2010, 02:48 PM	#265 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	I got home last night. This afternoon, my roommate informed me there were a couple of packages in the garage with my name on them. That's right, "a couple". My SS sent me two packages, not just one. My SS rules. He's different. He's not like the peasant SS's that you guys have. Pics forthcoming.

12-29-2010, 04:17 PM	#267 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	Oh boy! Two presents from Santa! Let's start with the thing that feels like a picture frame first. Gift wrapped, nice! The back of it reads "Do not throw away. This painting is cursed." Hmm... I wonder what's on the front of it? Let's build some suspense and set it to the side for later. Now onto the box. I wonder what's inside? Oh boy! Gift wrapped presents and lots of them! This is very exciting! There are nine presents and they are numbered. I think Santa wants me to open them in order. Let's start with number one. Batteries. Hmm... I wonder what these could be for? Onto number two... Oh my! A wind-up toy cock that hops! It's almost an exact-scale model of my own! Let's try number three. It feels like a flask. I've never owned a flask before. Please be a flask! It is! It is a flask! Thanks Santa! Number four... Oh wow! This just keeps getting better and better! A homemade pepper blend with a warning that it is very, very spicy. Santa must know that I love spicy foods. I will try it soon, but only a little at first, of course. Let's see what package #5 has to offer... Ramen! The best Ramen ever, apparently. What a perfect thing to try my newfound spices with! Six feels like a can of some type of liquid. Perhaps alcoholic liquid? Surely Santa does not love me that much... Oh but wait he does!!! A can of Four Loko! Sweet day!! I have been wanting to try this stuff for a while now! I will save it for a special occasion. New Years Eve sounds fitting for now. Christmas could stop now and have been a wonderful success, but since my Santa rules so fucking hard, I still have three more gifts to open plus a painting to flip over. #7... Oh my!! Cherry flavored blowjob lubricant!! How did Santa know my girlfriend loves cherry flavored things? Hmm... seriously, how did he know that? Santa wouldn't... no. Impossible. A mere coincidence is all. Thanks Santa!! #8... BBs! But is what's advertised on the outside actually what's on the inside? Indeed it is! 2,500 BBs all for me. That's 2500 days I can ruin at my choosing. I'll be sure to pick up a gun in the near future. Thanks Santa!! And now for the final package. #9... HOLY FUCKING BALLSACK. SANTA GOT ME A BB GUN. MY VERY OWN BB GUN. WITH A FUCKING SCOPE!!! A MOTHERFUCKING SCOPE!!! YEE-HAW!!!! WEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE THE BEST SANTA EVER!!!! KEER-POW, KEER-POW!!!! HEY GUYS, GUESS WHAT? MY SANTA BOUGHT ME A MOTHERFUCKING GUN!!!! A GUN!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT? MY SANTA BOUGHT ME A MOTHERFUCKING WEAPON!!!!!!!!!! Oh my this day will never be topped. Never. Let's flip that painting over... Clowns! Good god, clowns!! Hahahaha... oh fuck me I hate clowns. But alas, I cannot throw this painting away because Santa has informed me it is cursed. Indeed, will carry this with me and hide it in closets and garages for the remainder of my life. I must. I have no choice. I want not to be cursed. The total haul: THANKS SANTA!!!! THANKS FOR BEING THE BEST SANTA EVER!!! My best guess is that my Santa is pliedes*. The Bloomington zip code on the return address plus the ultra-awesomeness of the gift has me ~85% certain of this, but I'm happy to hear any theories to the contrary. If my theory is indeed correct, I will shower pliedes with posrep every chance I remember until the end of time for this. I won the Santa lottery!!!

12-29-2010, 05:02 PM	#269 (permalink)
ninjaface Level 20 Holothetan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Space Posts: 5,245 Internets: 210144	So it seems like guns, knives, and booze is the way to go.

12-29-2010, 05:26 PM	#270 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	I thought AP had this in the bag for sure, but whoever UB's SS is, well, he's just tits. Edit: It's not me.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

12-29-2010, 07:10 PM	#272 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,723 Internets: 311447	Wooooow. That gift is out of this world. I have a feeling 2k11 is going to be something special after these shining performances. Really looking forward to it. Oh, and looking forward to getting a gift this year. Then again, it's looking like my gift isn't going to arrive until next year. It's probably not a motherfucking gun, either.

12-29-2010, 08:41 PM	#274 (permalink)
Repugnant Abomination Almost there... Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,979 Internets: 164547	I agree. This whole spending limit thing is creating an obvious problem.

12-29-2010, 08:51 PM	#275 (permalink)
Saint DH Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 6,146 Internets: 284753	If I'm not mistaken, the $25 limit is a price floor not a ceiling, meaning the santa could go much further beyond $25.

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